[Abyss]

I know the road is long,but where you are is home.
Wherever you stay, I'll find the way.

What do I do…..?

Yellow eyes, concern and a hint of fear sparking through their hue, stared down at golden orange paws. A black-dappled tail, normally still at the feline’s side, lashing wildly behind him. Black ears rotated quickly, rising and falling from his head over and over.

I...I can’t be here…

Memories from mere hours ago flooded his mind, plaguing him with a cold feeling within his chest and a sinking within his stomach. His name being shouted in the distance just barely reaching his ears. Hurrying to the border to see a familiar brown and white tabby she-cat, a worrisome expression on her face, waiting for him.

‘It’s Windspirit! She just gave birth to the kits, but she’s sick. She-’

His mind had went completely blank at her statement, any continuation of words she spoke lost to the tom. The phrase ‘she is sick’ echoed through his head, sending him into what could only be described as both a panic and a freeze of time. While he was off hunting in his clan’s territory happily, readying himself to retrieve his buried catches and provide the clan he adored with a feast, his mate was in the neighboring clan giving birth to his kits. She was doing it without him. That wasn’t her fault or his own, but...it was still painful to think about. The likelihood of her being alone in that time was very unlikely, but the simple thought of her possibly being alone, going through that experience without anyone to be there for her, it was torture.

He didn’t remember what happened after that. The she-cat who had delivered the message, Windspirit’s friend Thistletongue, had parted after telling him, leaving him to his thoughts. After she had disappeared into the tall grasses of Lightningclan, he had turned and began to walk. He had no destination. He had no memory of even walking. But when he finally snapped out of his trance, he was relatively close to camp again.

“What do I do…, ” came a whisper beneath his breath, his voice nearing that of a tremble. So many thoughts were going through his head at once, jumbling any sort of control over his emotions that he had before he was given the message.

I...I needed to be there. I wanted to be there. I should have been there. What is she going through? Is she ok? Are the kits ok? Does she have anyone there with her to make sure she is alright?

When his gaze finally lifted from his paws, he stared at the trees around him, seeking the answers in their intricate bark patterns. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, waiting for the answers that wouldn't come, nor did he know when he finally snapped out of it once more.

I need to see her. I need to be with her. I need to be with the kits. He suddenly turned, taking only two bounds back towards the border before he froze, eyes widening.

I can’t just cross the border. I need to tell someone. I need to do something.

He turned once more, running towards camp hurriedly. As he entered, the darkness of the night closing in fast, he found many cats were either heading towards their dens or were already within them, preparing to sleep for the night. He saw a few cats that he could tell, but he didn’t want any of them. No, he needed someone else.

Just then, he watched a fluffy tail disappear within the Leader’s den, catching his attention. Lionstar. Swallowing down hard, he began to walk towards the den, his nerves slowly beginning to build.

He hated this feeling. He was never a cat to get super nervous or jittery, nor did he ever feel himself panicking. Why did the thought of speaking to his Leader slightly frighten him? He respected Lionstar greatly and saw him as more of a father figure than his true father ever was. He was an amazing Leader, a Leader who took everything thrown at him in stride. The kind of cat anyone would go to and talk about their troubles. But this trouble was...different.

He took a deep breath as he neared the entrance of the den, pausing outside of it. He took multiple deep breathes in and releasing them.

“Lionstar….? May I speak with you…..?”

Leopardheart

Warrior 16 Moons TreeClan

730 Fawn Notes

[Fawn]

Lionstar

The crown is getting heavy
But they've written my name in the stars

"You've gotten slower, Dad. I've met snails that move faster than you."

"Sorry, I was only trying to make you feel like you could beat me at something."

Ivyclaw laughed, her eyes glinting as they made their way into TreeClan's Camp. Lionstar purred, his contentment visible for anyone who looked upon his face in that moment. They parted ways at the Ancient Stump, with Ivyclaw volunteering herself for a border patrol set to take off soon. There were unspoken, tentative plans that he would go for a walk with her again tomorrow. If he could, he wanted to bring the whole family along; Honeysong, Lilybreeze and Brackenstride.

After the assault - after he had healed, and his children and his Clan had healed - he took on a fresh mindset. Lionstar had always been involved in Clan life, but after Pumafang's ascension to the rank of deputy, and his age beginning to catch up to him, Lionstar had withdrawn a little... Just a little.

But not anymore.

When his Clan was hurting, he dug his roots in deep and became as steady as the Great Maple. Something for them to lean on, to find shelter and comfort in. It would be a while yet before nightmares of what NightClan had done would fizzle into old, harmless memories. But any cat still spooked by sudden movement or a strange sound in the night, they need only look around. The golden tom, maned and proud as a LionClan warrior of old, would always be close by.

And he was indeed close when the voice of a young warrior tugged his ears.

“Lionstar….? May I speak with you…..?”

An earnest face filled the entrance of his den, wide eyes brimming with a worry or tension Lionstar could not yet understand. He studied him for a few heartbeats, trying to read into the nervous energy swirling around Leopardheart like a dust cloud. "Of course." When he spoke the words were not trite; Lionstar's tail swept towards the interior, beckoning Leopardheart inside.

He willed himself not to speculate, and instead prepared himself to do what he always tried to do in situations like this: listen.

I've been building up all these kingdoms for so long
It's good to be king

111 Moons || TreeClan || 352 Words || Abyss

[Abyss]

I know the road is long,but where you are is home.
Wherever you stay, I'll find the way.

It was rare, both to himself and to others, for Leopardheart to be worried or show visible concern. This was something he tried to avoid as much as possible, for every cat handled emotion differently. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be seen as weak for being scared or concerned, nor was he afraid of others seeing him this way. But he had always been a cat who cared for others, someone who wanted to be there to provide comfort. In doing so, being happy and hopeful in stressful situations was comforting for others. If him appearing optimistic in the face of danger could make those around him feel better, then he was glad to push aside his own worries.

But this….this was different. He wasn’t trying to prevent anyone from feeling concern. He wasn’t trying to comfort anyone. This had become one of those rare moments, those moments that he dreaded, when his inner fear and stress began to show on the outside. But he couldn’t help it.

What was he supposed to feel after being told that his mate had given birth and was sick? And he wasn’t there to help her through it? Both his mate and his newly born kits were off in the high grasses of Lightningclan, off where he was unable to see either of them. He wanted to be there. More than anything he wanted to be there. He wanted to support his mate as she began the journey of motherhood that he would never understand. He wanted to lay next to Windspirit and look at their kits together. He wanted to be there for those kits, to be a father, a father much better than the one that he had.

Yet here he was, standing wide-eyed like a kit at the entrance of the Treeclan Leader’s den. It was sad, really. He knew that his mate was sick, but he didn’t know how. He knew she had given birth, but he didn’t truly know when. He knew that his kits had been born, but he didn’t know how many there were, or what they looked like, or the genders. He knew nothing. Nothing about his new family that had just sprouted into life within the neighboring clan. He hated it.

He swallowed hard as he heard the older tom’s voice sound through the den, two mere words with a flick of a tail that summoned the Bengal tom in. He slowly took steps into the den, his mind flustered beyond belief. On one paw, he had never been in the Leader’s den before, so this was an interesting experience. It was unfortunate that he had to see it for the first time in this way, but there was no going back now.

He wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to sit, he wanted to stand, he wanted to lay. He felt as though he was going to fall over at the slightest touch, his legs and paws somewhat numb beneath him. His gaze shifted, going between the ground and his Leader. How did he even start? As far as he knew, Lionstar didn’t know about his relationship with the quiet and beautiful silver tabby from Lightningclan. This would be difficult to get through, especially when the knowledge that his mate was off in another place, going through birth and sickness on her own.

“I...I don’t even know where to start.” His voice wavered, his gaze still shifting. He closed those normally composed yellow eyes, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest. He breathed in deeply, attempting to calm himself, before he opened them once more and looked to Lionstar.

“When I was an Apprentice, I had my incident with the fox at the border, the one that gave me these scars.” As he came towards the end of this statement, he slightly shifted, turning his rear sideways so that his large claw scars on his back leg, now almost completely healed over, was on display. “When this happened, I wasn’t alone. There was another Apprentice, a she-cat from Lightningclan, there with me.”

He paused for a moment, swallowing down the nervousness in his jaws once more.

“I had only ever met her once before that, and we just talked. When the fox attacked, I managed to save her, and get her in a tree where the fox wouldn’t get her. After that day, I ran into her multiple times. I...” He paused, guilt filling his gaze and his eyes falling to his paws.

“I...I believe it was after the fox incident...that I started to fall for her.” His tail tip and ears twitched, the resistance to shiver being hard to handle. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t try. It just...happened. She was so interesting, so different, so pretty…..before I knew it, she was all I could think about.”

He couldn’t believe it. He had never imagined himself telling the story to Lionstar of all cats. Though, perhaps he should have known it would happen. He had let himself fall for a cat from another clan. From what he knew, cross-clan relationships often turned out this way. Either the clans would find out themselves or they would be told sooner or later. He hadn’t even looked to see Lionstar’s reaction thus far. But he kept going.

“I...asked her to be my mate...in Leaffall. I saw her multiple times after I asked her, but then everything with Nightclan started.”

It was time for the next big reveal, and he felt his heart began to race in his chest.

“The last time I saw her recently...she told me that she was pregnant.”

There it was. A small amount of pressure lifted from his shoulders. But he hadn’t come to the key part of it yet. All of this, them meeting, the fox attack, them becoming mates, none of it was anything compared to the current situation. His body language visibly changed, his paws shifting, his shoulders lifting towards his cheeks, and his face shifting into one of both fear and worry.

Finally, for the first time since his story began, yellow eyes, filled with a deep trouble, lifted to lock with Lionstar’s. He had to do it. There was no going back now. He was already this far. Now it was time to finish what he had started all those moons ago at the border when he locked eyes with those pale green orbs for the first time.

“Lionstar, Windspirit just gave birth to my kits today. I was told that the kits are fine, but Wind….she’s sick. I don’t know how, I don’t know how badly. But…., ” his legs and voice began to shake, almost as though he sounded like he was about to cry. His head lowered towards his chest, his eyes blurring.

“I don’t know what to do...”

He went silent. What more could he say? Really, he had so much more that he could. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not only was he terrified of what Lionstar would think, but he was too lost, too overwhelmed, to even consider what more he could add.

He didn’t know what the Treeclan Leader was thinking, or what he thought of the situation. Over the moons, Lionstar had sort of become a father figure, or at least a figure of deep respect, in Leopardheart’s eyes. He had led the clan for a long time, and had gotten them through so many challenges, both before and after the Bengal was ever born. He was such an amazing cat. A cat that any Warrior would aspire to be. He had taught Leopardheart many lessons even without being his mentor, and had in multiple ways been a part of the reason that Leopard became a good Warrior.

And this was how he repaid him. Falling for a cat from another clan, becoming mates with her, having kits with her. He hadn’t done it on purpose. It was merely by chance that he had run into Windpaw that day. Yet it was that chance encounter that had changed his life drastically. He didn’t regret it. He loved Windspirit with all of his being. She was beautiful, she was interesting, she was graceful, she was talented. He was overjoyed that he was a father now, and that it had been the love of his life that had his kits.

But she was in another clan, which was his biggest regret. Had Windpaw originally been a member of Treeclan, so many things would have gone differently. If he hadn’t met her, things would be so different. As much as he wished he could have brought her home, brought her to the clan that he was born and raised in, brought her to meet his family and his Leader and all of the cats that shaped him into the Warrior he was, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Windspirit was a Lightningclan cat, through and through. She was by far one of the fastest cats he had ever seen, her namesake guiding her paws through the meadows of her clan as if she was the wind in the physical shape of a cat. He would never ask her to leave her clan to come to his.

But where did that leave him? This was the question, on the inside, that he truly wished to ask. He could only hope that Lionstar could help him find the answer.

Leopardheart

Warrior 16 Moons TreeClan

1580(I am so sorry x.x) Fawn Notes

[Fawn]

Lionstar

The crown is getting heavy
But they've written my name in the stars

Recognition dawned on the old lion's face like the change of the season, his muzzle tightening from greenleaf warmth to the deep frown and heavy brow of leafbare. Different names. Different faces. But the same story. Disappointment pummeled the center of Lionstar's chest until there was an ache so solid he had to shake his head, as if that might dislodge it. He didn't hide these feelings; Leopardheart, as he had made it so clear with his confession, was an adult now. Not a kit to be sheltered and spared the worst of the consequences of his actions.

"You have made your nest, Leopardheart. Take responsibility for your actions; a relationship doesn't strike like lightning. It's fed. It's watered. You have allowed your feelings for this LightningClan she-cat to progress so far as to sire kits in another Clan." My, how bitter those words tasted on his tongue. His voice heavy, Lionstar continued. "I know you are not here to ask for forgiveness, and I will not give it. What I will give you, Leopardheart, is something to keep in mind on this path you now walk."

It was such a shame to lose a warrior like him. He had looked upon Leopardheart favorably, trusted him, even, to be as honorable and pure a TreeClan warrior as any cat could hope to be. And now this. Any long-simmering ideas of trying to grow a relationship between Leopardheart and his daughter Lilybreeze fizzled into nothingness, the opportunity robbed by Leopardheart's own volition.

Lionstar sighed, then stepped closer, lowering his muzzle until his piercing golden gaze was locked onto the young cat's. "You are a father now. A father. You have forsaken your duties to TreeClan, we both know that is the price of building a family in a Clan other than your own. Give your kits the father they deserve. Salvage what you can. Make this worth it, Leopardheart. Do everything in your ability to provide for this family you've created. That means cutting ties with the one you were born to." It was a harsh truth, but it was truth nonetheless. Life could be absolute. "Invest in their happiness, their safety. If you love this she-cat, then honor the love you've chosen over the love you've been given by your Clanmates. You cannot have a paw in two Clans, Leopardheart."

He could see the anguish written clean upon that spotted face, the grief and worry in those rounded eyes. There was no easy path to walk forward. More pain was promised as Leopardheart was forced to make a choice between Windspirit, their kits - and TreeClan. "I'm sorry, Leopardheart." Lionstar meant it. "I want you to walk away from this Clan with your dignity and honor in tact, so I will not banish you for what you've done. Go. Go and be with your family. If LightningClan is less than agreeable to you, return, and we will work towards some kind of resolution."

It was all the mercy he could give. Memories swirled through Lionstar's head of Sunstride, who had made the same choice - only for a RainClan cat instead. Crimsonshadow, who had chosen StoneClan. It was in these moments that he felt powerless. Powerless to undo what has already been done. It was a bitter, humbling experience.

He could lead these cats. But he could not will them to make these choices. He could only stand back and deal with the fallout - for better or for worse.

I've been building up all these kingdoms for so long
It's good to be king

111 Moons || TreeClan || 589 Words || Abyss Ghost the Undead Goddess (Sunstride mention!)

[Abyss]

I know the road is long,but where you are is home.
Wherever you stay, I'll find the way.

Lionstar. He had always been there, a part of Leopardheart’s life. No, he had not been his father, nor had he been his mentor. He had never had many heartfelt conversations with the large ruddy tom, nor had he interacted too much with the tom’s family. But he had always been there. He had been the Leader of Treeclan when the Bengal tom was born. He had been the one to promote him from a Kit into an Apprentice, and an Apprentice into a Warrior. He, whether he knew it or not, was one of the cats in the clan that Leopardheart respected more than any other cat he knew.

He knew it couldn’t be easy, leading a clan. Politics with the other clans, wars, border skirmishes, making all of the biggest decisions, all while handling the affairs of his own clan. He could only imagine how much Lionstar had been through in his many years of serving the cats of the trees. He could only imagine how much the large tom was going through at this moment, handling the results of the war, as well as rebuilding the camp and assigning new Warriors and Apprentices and so much more.

Yet, with all of the most important things Lionstar was doing, all for the betterment of the clan, here the golden and black-spotted Warrior was. A cat he could only hope Lionstar believed in and had put trust into, betraying that same trust. Rather than coming to speak to his Leader of his loyalty and love for his clan and his family, he had come to speak about the love he now felt for another clan. Or, for a cat from another clan, to be more specific. How could he do this to Lionstar? How could he let himself say that he was one of Lionstar’s most loyal followers? How could he even call himself a Treeclan Warrior?

All those moons ago, he had met Windpaw at the border. A young and pretty silver she-cat with those pale green eyes and that way of interacting with another that was so different than your typical cat. It was not forbidden for cats from different clans to be friends. It was not forbidden for cats to accidentally meet multiple times at the borders. How would things have been different, if he hadn’t met Windpaw? Or if he had met her and hadn’t immediately lost his mind thinking about her? Where would he be now?

If he had to guess, he would be almost exactly where he was. Only, if he were honest, he would likely be speaking to Lionstar about a different she-cat, one from his own clan. Cinderstream. If he had never met Windpaw, had never saved her life, had never become mates with her or met her at the border, had never had kits with her, he couldn’t deny that his heart would likely have been stolen by his childhood friend. It was only after he had become infatuated with Windspirit that he learned of Cinderstream’s feelings for him, feelings that he could not return. He felt horrible for it, for he couldn’t deny that he liked her to. If he were honest, in the moons before he had asked Windspirit to become his mate, he did think of his best friend often, wondering if she still felt that way about him. If she had, what would he have done? Would he have given up Windspirit and turned his attentions to Cinderstream instead? Would that have been the right thing to do? Had he taken that course of action, he likely wouldn’t be having this conversation with Lionstar. He wouldn’t be forced to choose between his brand new family and his first family. He wouldn’t be forced to choose between the clan his mate and kits called home and the clan that he had called home all his life. But he had made his choices. And those choices had led to this moment.

He listened as his Leader spoke to him, voice stern and heavy with what he could only assume was disappointment. The large tom’s first words hit Leopardheart like a falling tree, a sudden slam down on his shoulders that made him realize exactly what his situation looked like from the outside. To Lionstar, this wasn’t some love-struck, dramatic, romantic forbidden relationship that had formed and taken shape when the protagonists were young. This was not some happy story to tell to the young ones about how their parents had met. This was not a made up story by an Elder or a Kit to teach other cats a lesson. No. To Lionstar, this was a Warrior he had watched grow, a Warrior he had trusted, a Warrior he thought had potential, turning his back against him. A cat who claimed to be completely loyal to Treeclan proving this statement to be false right before his eyes.

At his words of giving the younger tom something to think about, those sad, worried, and regretful eyes glanced upwards at the older Leader. As Lionstar spoke, he didn’t know how to feel. His emotions were so jumbled and his thoughts were so foggy that it took him a minute or two to even comprehend what he was told. He wished that Lionstar’s words would have given him comfort, given him confidence to lift his head. But they didn’t. They were meant to, but they didn’t. He did agree with what his Leader said. He was a father, and that statement alone meant that he had a lot of things ahead of him that he would have to face. He had choices to make, things to say, duties to uphold. And, despite not being ready for them, he had to do all of these things now. He had to choose what path he would take. And right now was one of the biggest decisions he would ever have to make.

Travel to Lightningclan, leave behind his friends and family, leave behind the clan he had grown to have a heart full of loyalty for, to be with his new family in another clan. Or remain in Treeclan, where he would not get to see his brand new family, where he would be in constant conflict over his choices, where he would likely be seen as a traitor should the rest of the clan learn of his actions.

It was no easy decision. But it had to be made.

After Lionstar’s words had come to a conclusion, the Bengal’s yellow eyes remained attached to the ground beneath him for many moments. His ears did not move, his head did not raise, his voice did not speak, and he did not move a muscle. He sat there, the many emotions and conflicts that ran through his mind circling him like a vulture to a carcass. It could not be said how long he sat there in silence in front of his Leader, thinking over everything that he had done and everything that had been said. It had likely been a lot longer than just a few minutes, but he didn’t know.

Suddenly, there was a shift. Slowly, the troubled and disturbed aura that had taken shape over the tom’s shoulders began to disappear. It did not fully leave him, nor could it be expected to. But it seemed that his heart was coming to its final mark.

Leopardheart lifted his head, yellow eyes still troubled, but holding more of a confidence than they had before.

“Lionstar. I want you to know.” He swallowed hard, holding back the sadness that threatened to spill out. This was not the time for that. “All my life, I have looked up to you. You were there when I was a kit, you were the one who made me into an Apprentice, and you were the one who promoted me into a Warrior. You were like a father-figure to me when my own father turned against my family and our clan.”

“Lionstar, I know that my actions may not support this claim, but…..I have always held the utmost respect and loyalty for you and for Treeclan. This is the clan I was born in. This is the clan that raised me to be the cat that I am. You are the cat that I took inspiration from every single day that I was training to be a Warrior.”

His eyes lowered momentarily, taking a moment to once more hold back the regret and sadness that he felt in that moment.

"No matter what happens. No matter if I end up becoming a member of Lightningclan. No matter if I end up coming back to Treeclan. No matter if neither of you accept me and I end up a rogue….." His eyes lifted, an expression of respect and yearning in his gaze. "I will always look up to you. Even if after today you are no longer my Leader, I will always hold you with the highest respect. I will always see you as a father. And I hope...that the next time I see you...I can introduce my family to the tom that made me the cat I am today."

Leopardheart

Warrior 16 Moons TreeClan

1534 Fawn Notes

[Fawn]

Lionstar

The crown is getting heavy
But they've written my name in the stars

Something inside of Lionstar's chest broke with a low, mournful sigh. Leopardheart spoke from the heart, and he felt every word from the young tom's mouth. The rush of emotion that followed was variegated; pride, sadness, gratitude, warmth. He struggled to wade through those powerful feelings and pick one to focus on. "You honor me with your words, Leopardheart. To guide others, to be a father where one is needed, has been my greatest ambition."

A smile, gentle and composed, broke up the brooding cloud upon his brow.
"It would be an honor to be introduced to your family. You have many changes ahead of you, Leopardheart. It may sound unthinkable now, but do what you can not to look back on TreeClan. Keep your eyes on the life you have in front of you. Do not be afraid to let your love for your new family shape you into someone even stronger than you are now."

In reminiscence of the young tom's warrior ceremony, Lionstar stepped forward, raising his graying muzzle and resting it square between Leopardheart's ears. He let his words rumble through, retreating the same number of steps he had taken to close the gap.
"Go with StarClan's grace. Understand and remember those that shaped you, but understand and remember that your growth does not stop here. My last piece of advice, from one father to another: forgive them for their mistakes. Accept that you cannot protect them from everything, though we both know you'll try." The faintest trace of a chuckle.

"May happiness find you, Leopardheart. Take with you the values of warriorhood and pass them on to your offspring." It was all the advice he could give now. Lionstar had stood still in that long, long stretch of silence, watching Leopardheart's resolve take shape. He could almost feel the sensation of Leopardheart gaining control of himself - finding some kind of stillness with which to wade through this newest, chaotic stage of his life.

It didn't lessen the ache in Lionstar's heart. It didn't make the youngster's unbridled respect for him sting any less deeply. But Lionstar accepted the pain. He didn't fight it. Life demanded adaptation. It demanded acceptance of the things that could not be changed. Tonight he would lie awake in his nest, torturing himself with what-if's and retroactively looking for the signs he'd missed so spectacularly.

But in this moment, Lionstar mirrored that resolve. That respect. Disappointment was slow to fade, but he ignored it in favor of letting this pivotal moment in Leopardheart's journey go untainted. It was a sad farewell.

Lionstar would not send him to LightningClan with his tail tucked. For the sake of his new family and those he'd left behind, Leopardheart needed to be strong.

You will be. Make your mark in LightningClan, Leopardheart. Know that you carry a piece of TreeClan with you, always.

I've been building up all these kingdoms for so long
It's good to be king

111 Moons || TreeClan || 478 Words || Abyss

OOC: End with your post?