[Justice]

He hadn't spoken to anyone in a few days now. He couldn't. He'd come back from his final trip into StoneClan territory and gone straight to his den. And hadn't come out, and hadn't responded to anyone. Honeysong had come and lain beside him for some time, talking to him, asking him what was wrong as he was clearly upset, but he hadn't had words for her. He'd lain there and honestly contemplated leaving the clan altogether. He knew he would never, that he loved his clan and his family therein far too much, but a broken heart made his thoughts chaotic. He realized he was overreacting, but then again who was to say that this was the case? They couldn't feel the crushing weight in his chest, the lack of motivation, the fact that StarClan had stopped speaking to him moons ago.

That, of course, could have something to do with him biting off the head of the last representative they'd sent his way. He had never in his life questioned the Code or the way things were done, but he did so now. Why? Why did it matter to StarClan what their medicine cats did? Why would they punish their chosen by telling them they could never love or find the happiness that came with finding their perfect mate? If he were a she-cat he may have understood more, as an incapacitated medicine cat with no apprentice, meant the clan would be in danger until after the medicine cat turned queen recovered and was no longer nursing. But he was a tom. Having a family, being in love, wouldn't bother his duties at all.

But the rules were the rules, and he could no longer keep up with things. He planned to have an apprentice, and expecting them to keep a secret like he and Herondive's romance would have been too much. He didn't trust much of anyone that much. Nobody had known he was seeing her, though some may have suspected he had a sweetheart. Right now, though, his thoughts were elsewhere. No apprentice. The clan could wait while he mended his broken heart. He'd given them the ultimate sacrifice; he'd ended the one thing in his life that truly made everything he did worth it. He'd broken things off with the great love of his life.

It didn't matter to him that she was from another clan. It had never mattered that she was the daughter of one of the leaders. He loved her and likely always would. But now she could find a tom that could stand at her side, that she could introduce to her family without fear of repercussions of a cross clan romance and he being a medicine cat. She could move on from him, she could find happiness. That had to be all that mattered.

Fawn

[Fawn]

LionstAr

blinded by the light of a new sun
take it to the world, gonna sing it like an anthem

Falconstorm had not left his den for days. If it weren't for the apprentices bringing him food (particularly Brackenpaw, who had taken a liking to his 'older brother'), Lionstar had reason to suspect their medicine cat would not have eaten at all.

Lionstar did not bring food with him, his airways unclogged by squirrel fur or feathers and able to take in the full scents of the medicinal herbs. Golden eyes went to the leaves, stems and other assorted plant parts that made up a medicine cat's store; he could make little sense of it, despite his age and how often he had been to this den. First, there had been Spottedfeather, then Elderpaw, Littletimber, Bluejay, and now Falconstorm.

The den's inhabitants changed more often than he wished, but the promise of help for those that needed it never went away. Yet who helped the medicine cats, when they were physically or emotionally wounded? Lionstar had no answers, but he did have a voice, and two ears that were willing to listen.

"I'm not here to lecture," he said, lingering by the entry way, a few fragments of wood pulp brushed loose by the tips of his ears. "And I'm not here to pry. If you want to confide in someone, or share any burdens you're carrying, I am never far away." Lionstar waited, not confident he would get a response greater than a flicking tail or a single word of acknowledgment. He could not force Falconstorm to talk, and even if he could, he wouldn't.

Something had greatly affected Falconstorm, something had upset the younger tom's world so significantly that he was hiding away from the Clan and those that cared about him. Lionstar knew better than to try to shake him out of his melancholia through sternness or impatience. He would let him be. Let him process.

leader of TreeClan

315 | Justice | notes

so alive | background image | table by phoenix

[Justice]

He didn't lift his head when Lionstar stepped into his den, head lain on his paws as he struggled with his misery. But something did prompt him to speak, perhaps the need to purge the dark emotions brewing inside him. He didn't know, but it was something. "StarClan hates me." He deadpanned it, meaning it in the most serious way. He wasn't joking or exaggerating, he truly believed that the clan of their fallen hated him.

Falconstorm had his differences with Lionstar, but he did respect the tom for how he was handling things. And he was mated to Honeysong, who was for all intents and purposes Falconstorm's mother. So there was that. He had been grateful to Brackenpaw for bringing him food, though he hadn't eaten much of it at all.

"Why? Why would there be a rule that a medicine cat can't be in love? We are still normal cats, we still have feelings and hearts that can be broken. Why would StarClan, or whoever it is that made the rule, think it was alright to deny the simple pleasure of a life long companion to their medicine cats? We are chosen and spoken to, but we are denied this and other things that the rest of our clans are able to enjoy. Even the leaders, who are chosen by StarClan, can have families. Why are we, their medicine cats, different?"

He never shifted, his body posture defeated and miserable. He felt his eyes burn with tears that didn't fall. He was tired of crying. It didn't help and his misery certainly didn't matter to StarClan.

"Why are they punishing us?"

Fawn

[Fawn]

LionstAr

blinded by the light of a new sun
take it to the world, gonna sing it like an anthem

"I don't know the answer to that," said Lionstar quietly as he drew alongside Falconstorm. His head was bowed to listen, his eyes keen and full of empathy. "I have never agreed with that aspect of the Code, truthfully. I am sorry your role as a medicine cat has cost you someone dear." Medicine cats, it seemed, always had a higher price to pay than the others.

Lionstar's growl reverberated through the hollow. "Even before Honeysong became my mate, I was sympathic to healers' love lives. I would bend the rules, if I were asked." He meant that. StarClan was comprised of cats from the past, with ancient ideologies, ancient concepts of how things were supposed to be. But just as the Clans had moved from their original home, so too had some of their customs. Rather, that should have been the case.

Others would view his decision to question and oppose StarClan's rule regarding medicine cats, as an act of betrayal or foolishness. Be that as it may, Lionstar felt that not speaking out on his healer's behalf was a bigger act of betrayal. They were TreeClan. That meant more than just a name, or a scent that was different than the four other Clans.

"Perhaps it's time StarClan should be challenged on this ruling." It was a considering murmur, and then he paused, anticipating a crack of thunder or flash of lightning to decree StarClan's fury at the mere suggestion. But the skies were quiet, and Lionstar's thoughts continued to churn like the center of a whirlpool. "I will stand with you, if you take this matter to StarClan." And what punishment would be in store from this act of defiance? Lionstar's tail tip flicked, a mild sign of irritation. If there is no valid reason for this suffering, then surely the rule can be changed.

leader of TreeClan

307 Words | Justice | notes

so alive | background image | table by phoenix

[Justice]

"What's the point in taking it up with them now? They have what they want. I ended things with her just like they told me to." He sighed, trying to dredge up the energy to stand. He had work to do, a clan that needed their medicine cat to not be lost in his own personal suffering. But, this time, he couldn't do it. When he'd felt this lost before he'd run to Herondive, right after Bluejay had died. She was his solace and now he didn't have that option.

Falconstorm finally managed to life his head, to regard his leader from a slightly better vantage. "Lionstar, StarClan doesn't speak to me anymore. They stopped when I told their last representative that had something to say about my personal life to go take a long leap off a steep cliff." In far ruder terms than that.

"Its over, what's the point in fighting them further. In the end they always get what they want. They are the ones that came before us, and it seems they like to believe and enforce towards those of us still living, that their ways are the best ways." At least that was the way it seemed to him.

Fawn

[Fawn]

Lionstar

The crown is getting heavy
But they've written my name in the stars

Falconstorm had been cut off from StarClan. Golden pelt prickling, Lionstar digested this news with a serious, slightly dour frown. That would not serve the Clan in any positive way, to be isolated from their ancestors; yet, could StarClan be so stubborn as to withhold communications with Falconstorm - over his love for another cat? And had he not already made his sacrifice?

Lionstar's tail flicked, considering. "I'm sorry, Falconstorm. If they really have turned their backs on you, then StarClan is not acting like the wise ancestors I remember hearing stories of, growing up." It was true that StarClan had their wrathful moments, but was their purpose not to guide others? Not turn their backs and ignore a Clan just because they dared to challenge StarClan's ways.

Had Bluejay had this kind of trouble? Had she agreed with this rule? These were questions he couldn't hope to get an answer to. He wanted to fight, to argue on Falconstorm's behalf, but the ruined look in the healer's eyes was making it clear that there was nothing he could do to improve things. This was between StarClan and Falconstorm. Lionstar sighed. "I wish I knew the words to make the world not seem so bleak, or to restore faith, but I don't. It troubles me, to be cut off from StarClan. However, I have seen your compassion and your talent first hand. Sudden coldness from the stars won't make me or TreeClan turn our back to you."

All they could do now was weather the storm. Falconstorm may one day get the chance to argue his case, but I fear it won't be while he's alive. In StarClan, the passionate young tom could argue as much as he wanted, without fear of repurcussions. Lionstar brooded, thinking of how little he actually knew of StarClan's structure. All Clans were equal in death, yet the most senior members must have had some kind of superiority.

Perhaps that was why the old ways were still in place, even if they were long overdue for a change.

I've been building up all these kingdoms for so long
It's good to be king

87 Moons || TreeClan || 341 Words || Justice (sorry for the wait!)