Post by Justice on Apr 18, 2018 23:28:35 GMT -5
He hadn't said a word to anyone when he'd walked out of camp today. He hadn't responded when Honeysong called his name, hadn't stopped or slowed down or done anything to acknowledge that his mother had called him. He just walked briskly away, moving with purpose further and further from home. There would be some questions when he came home again, but at least this would be the last time he left camp for this particular reason. He had to end this now. His heart constricted inside him, eyes burning as he picked up his walk into a full run. He wanted to be with Herondive. He loved her, was in love with her. The only she-cat he'd ever felt like this for, as thought StarClan had fashioned her specifically for him. They just fit. And yet at the same time she was his greatest distraction. He was being tested and tortured all at once. He couldn't decide if StarClan hated him or wanted his happiness. It felt like they hated him. Showing him the most perfect she-cat he would ever know, and then snatching her away because he was chosen as their Medicine Cat.
He hurt and he was only causing her to hurt, which was worse to him. He wanted her to be happy above everything else, and having to sneak around to see him wasn't right. He wanted to be able to be with her, to see her whenever it suited them and not have to hide their romance from their clans. He couldn't stand being away from her, but he could deal with his own breaking heart. Herondive had her whole life ahead of her, he couldn't ask her to remain the beloved of his heart when she could never have all of him. He couldn't give her everything a normal tom could. He was a medicine cat, and it broke the code. He loved her enough to let her go.
Familiar terrain was under his paws and he felt his lungs burning from the hard run he'd taken to get to StoneClan's territory in good time. He stopped at StarClan's claws and was gasping for air, panting and letting the exhaustion of his body push out the horrible pain rolling through him. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to do this. He had to let her go.
Their nest was long gone, cleared before the last Gathering most likely. Their time spent lying together in the nest a well cherished memory. The only time he'd felt like a normal tom, stealing a moment with his sweetheart. He sat on the spot where they'd hidden their nest and let his heart rate return to normal, feeling the sting of tears and the trembling in his frame.
Eventually he pulled himself together, regained his composure even though internally he was already a wreck. He could be the strong one. He could break her heart, could set her free. For Herondive, he would do anything. "I'm sorry dear heart." He spoke words to the air that he wouldn't dare speak to her. He had to do this. He couldn't let it linger any longer. It was time. He turned for the border and started to pace it in search of the she-cat that would forever hold his heart and haunt his thoughts.
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He hurt and he was only causing her to hurt, which was worse to him. He wanted her to be happy above everything else, and having to sneak around to see him wasn't right. He wanted to be able to be with her, to see her whenever it suited them and not have to hide their romance from their clans. He couldn't stand being away from her, but he could deal with his own breaking heart. Herondive had her whole life ahead of her, he couldn't ask her to remain the beloved of his heart when she could never have all of him. He couldn't give her everything a normal tom could. He was a medicine cat, and it broke the code. He loved her enough to let her go.
Familiar terrain was under his paws and he felt his lungs burning from the hard run he'd taken to get to StoneClan's territory in good time. He stopped at StarClan's claws and was gasping for air, panting and letting the exhaustion of his body push out the horrible pain rolling through him. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to do this. He had to let her go.
Their nest was long gone, cleared before the last Gathering most likely. Their time spent lying together in the nest a well cherished memory. The only time he'd felt like a normal tom, stealing a moment with his sweetheart. He sat on the spot where they'd hidden their nest and let his heart rate return to normal, feeling the sting of tears and the trembling in his frame.
Eventually he pulled himself together, regained his composure even though internally he was already a wreck. He could be the strong one. He could break her heart, could set her free. For Herondive, he would do anything. "I'm sorry dear heart." He spoke words to the air that he wouldn't dare speak to her. He had to do this. He couldn't let it linger any longer. It was time. He turned for the border and started to pace it in search of the she-cat that would forever hold his heart and haunt his thoughts.
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