[Deleted]

...but maybe i can't tell

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Wolfclaw stood near the center of the camp, having just sent out the first patrols of the morning. Not far away, his own patrol was gathering. He strode over to where Larkflutter, Ashflame, and Crowdance were gathered, giving a warm smile to them all. "We'll be patrolling the edge of the territory today. There have been a few reports regarding loners nearby in the mountains; we will make sure the marks are strong." Even with the mounting tensions between StoneClan and their neighbors, they still needed to patrol the farthest edge of their territory.

With a nod to his patrol he turned and walked out of the camp, setting a brisk pace toward the mountains. They headed first toward the barren scrubland, turning toward the mountains once they reached the LightningClan border. They paused briefly to refresh the marks, then continued on their way.

For the most part, they journeyed in silence. When they reached the base of the mountains, they spread out slightly to cover more ground, which further dimished the scant communication that had taken place mostly between Larkflutter and Ashflame. As they continued to walk and mark the border, staying alert for signs of any rogues, Wolfclaw found his eyes drifting toward a certain tortoiseshell she-cat. He had invited her to his patrol in the hopes of striking up a conversation, hoping to get to know her better, but there was mainly silence between them.

Deciding to take another chance as Larkflutter and Ashflame moved on ahead, he stopped, glancing up at the sky. Clouds obscured the usual blue, and the breeze carried a faint hint of rain. Wolfclaw turned to look at Crowdance, smiling faintly as his eyes ran swiftly over the pretty she-cat. When she next looked up, he looked up at the sky again. "Looks like a storm's coming." His mind drifted to Flintclaw. A mudslide caused by the early newleaf rains had broken his back, sending him to the elders' den moons before his time. "Hopefully it won't end as badly as the last." He grimaced slightly, before lowering his eyes, returning his gaze to Crowdance.

Knowing that line of thought was a dead-end conversation, he sighed internally. What could he say to get her talking? He had no idea. So, he tried for typical small-talk. "This newleaf has been rough, hasn't it. How are you holding up?" He looked at her with curious eyes, hoping she could see that he truly cared about her well-being, and not just as a deputy assessing the health of his Clan. He wanted to consider her as a friend, but she was so closed off that he wasn't sure how that would be received. He would just have to continue gently prodding her until she either opened up to him or completely pushed him away. And if he was honest with himself, he woular more than unhappy if she asked him outright to just leave her alone.

---

W O L F C L A W

Newleaf 22
Insidious

[Insidious]

She had decided that Wolfclaw was out to get her.

Spending time with him seemed to top her list of priorities lately, so the last thing she’d claim to be was upset when he named her as part of his patrol, but she was an embarrassing and tongue-tied wreck whenever he was around. She would’ve preferred to know in advance – days in advance if at all possible – so she could properly puzzle over what she would say to him. Her awkwardness was a burden, a curse, and it worsened when he was nearby. She was stiff as stone between Larkflutter and Ashflame, ears flat against her head and burning, after he approached and told the three of them that they were going to the farthest outskirts of StoneClan territory to remark their borders.

He was definitely out to get her. There was no other reasonable explanation for why he forced her into these unbearable situations. Larkflutter and Ashflame, she reasoned, would keep up a decent conversation on her behalf, and it actually worked out like that for the first little while. The two of them were a ways ahead, Wolfclaw not far behind them, and Crowdance kept an easy, comfortable pace behind him, content to stare at the back of his head and pretend she was confident enough to walk alongside him and strike up a conversation. She had no way of knowing he had a similar train of thought. When he turned around, allowing her to catch up, she almost choked on the oxygen entering her lungs.

He commented on the weather, and while she normally would’ve jumped at the chance to talk about easy things like storm clouds and strong winds, she could do nothing but blink dumbly in response. She opened her mouth, but the words – if she had any to begin with – died a painful, lonely death on the tip of her tongue. This was useless. She was useless. There was nothing of interest that she could offer to someone as kind-hearted and simultaneously handsome as him. For a second she managed to convince herself that he was done talking her. The tortoiseshell hadn’t decided if her heart fluttered out of panic or relief before, to much of her surprise, he asked how she was holding up.

Rather unsteadily. Now that he mentioned it, her legs were feeling a little numb, and she was worried they’d slip out from under her any second. “Uh, fine.” Inwardly, she winced. Could she have made it sound any less like she was an antisocial freak of nature? “What about you?” The words slipped off her tongue without permission, but she didn’t regret them as much as she thought she would. It was difficult to look him in the eyes, so she opted to stare over his head – the rocks that made up the side of the mountain were quite fascinating when she thought about it. In fear that she wouldn’t have anything more to add to the conversation once he replied, she moved ahead, sniffing around the opening of a cave before poking her head inside.

“I’ve never seen this before.” She would’ve assigned herself some bonus points for mentioning something interesting, but in a moment of genuine curiosity, she found she was itching to go inside and look around. Just as she motioned to enter the cave, a bolt of lightning lit up the sky, followed by a roll of thunder, and she nearly leapt out of her fur. Crowdance threw herself against the side of the opening in the mountain, hoping to steady herself before Wolfclaw noticed how terribly uncoordinated she was, but that, combined with the force with which the thunder seemed to shake the sky, was enough to loosen a few of the rocks.

Crowdance yelped as the sharp edge of one of the tumbling rocks landed on top of her head, and before she knew it, the rest were falling close behind. It was a miracle that she had enough sense to move out of the way. One second, she was mumbling indiscernibly about the headache she was going to have, and the next she was shrouded in total darkness. A weak whimper parted her lips, and she pressed the side of her face against the rocks blocking the exit; she couldn’t see a thing, and she wasn’t sure if the rockslide had been big enough to hurt Wolfclaw or the others. “W-Wolfclaw?” She called out uncertainly, hoping he could hear her – or not hear her, maybe, so she could find her courage and try again without stuttering.

Amber

[Deleted]

Wolfclaw held back a faint smile when Crowdance answered him. Her words said she was fine, yet he found it hard to believe that that was the full story. He let it go, however. If she wanted to tell him, she would.

"What about you?" The question threw him off a little; he was hoping for a conversation, but wasn't really expecting one. His first response was to give the typical strong front, 'I'm well and strong, just as StoneClan', but he felt she deserved better than just a standard response. Besides, if he opened up to her, maybe she would open up to him.

"Feeling old, actually." He cracked a smile, attempting a joking mood. "Leafbare didn't make it easy on us. There were times when I felt the weight of the Clan on my back." It was an honest statement. There were times when the responsibilities he held weighed him down, and his broad shoulders never felt strong enough to hold it all up. Though he wouldn't trade his Clan or his position for anything, he did feel that his duties were aging him faster than his moons. He laughed a little. "Do I have gray hair coming out? I think this job is making me old." He looked up to see Crowdance's reaction, but she had already moved on ahead, peering into a cave. His mood dropped a little and the smile fell from his face. He didn't even know if she had heard him or not. He shook himself a little; it was a poor joke anyway. Pulling himself up, he trotted on to see what she had found.

As he drew nearer, Crowdance stepped further into the cave. From nowhere, a bolt of lightning struck somewhere up the mountain, with a roll of thunder close behind. He heard a yelp before the cave seemed to collapse, and he swore his heart stopped. He raced forward, dodging a few falling stones, to assess the damage to the cave and prayed Crowdance was safe. "Crowdance!" The rocks had completely closed off the cave, and he was nearly frantic as his eyes searched for any sort of opening or weak spot.

Finding none from his position on the ground, he leapt up, clawing at the stones until he had a position near where the top of the cave used to be. "Crowdance!" He clawed at the mix of dirt and stone, hoping to find a way to get to her. He pressed his ear to the dirt, hoping to hear some sort of response from her. "Crowdance! Are you alright?"

He held his breath and waited.

Nothing. Either the rockslide separating them was too thick for their voices to travel through, or...

No. The rockslide was too thick. Crowdance was fine. Wolfclaw lifted his face from the earth, refusing to think of the alternative. He looked around, taking stock of the situation. There were heavy stones at the base of the slide, ones that he had had to climb over to reach his position. Around him were smaller stones, though still fairly large, and the spaces between them filled with dirt and stones slightly larger than pebbles. Narrowing his eyes, he flexed his claws. All he had to do was dig an opening large enough for him to get inside, and then he could find Crowdance and get her out safely.

He started with the dirt directly beneath his paws. His claws dug as deep as they could, scraping out the rock and grit beneath them. He kicked it to the side, barely hearing it tumble to the ground below. He dug and dug and dug, until his breathing was heavy and his paws were bleeding, and dug some more. He had burrowed a decent sized hole, but there was still no opening to the other side. He hissed in anger, pulling himself out. There were stones to either side of the hole, each about as large as a cat. He shoved his shoulder against the one to his left, feeling it budge ever so slightly. He pushed again, steadily applying pressure, but it wouldn't move much more. He straightened up, then stepped back. He slid down a bit, until he was almost directly beneath the boulder. An idea came to his head, and he began to claw away the dirt underneath the boulder, in the hopes of loosening it enough to let the stone fall.

Once he scraped a good portion of the dirt away, he climbed back up to stand beside the boulder. Planting his claws into the ground, he shoved against the boulder, feeling it give a bit. Gritting his teeth, he pushed harder, until finally the stone rocked a little, then slipped from its place, tumbling down to the base of the rockslide. There was a sizable dent left behind the boulder, and he placed his paws in the bottom of it, feeling what was there. It was mostly dirt, so he went at it again, digging his claws in as deep as they could go and pulling back, kicking the dirt out behind him.

His paws were bloody and torn, his claws threatening to part from his flesh. He gritted his teeth and turned a blind eye to the pain. Nothing mattered except getting through to Crowdance. He didn't even know where Larkflutter and Ashflame were; his only focus was on the she-cat somewhere on the other side of the rock pile.

After what felt like ages, his paw slipped into darkness, grasping at air. He yanked his paw back, seeing the small hole he had finally made. He pawed at the edges, forcing the opening to expand. Once the hole was a little wider, he peered into it, but he could only see darkness.

"Crowdance?" His voice was fairly breathless from exertion, but he steadied himself enough to speak again. "Don't worry, Crowdance. I'll have you out soon." He pulled his head away and continued to work at the dirt, making an opening large enough for his broad shoulders to fit through. He took a deep breath then stuck his head into the hole. He panicked at first when he couldn't see anything, then shook his head for his foolishness. Giving his eyes a chance to adjust, he slowly became able to see the shapes of the slope of the rock slide on this side of the cave. Pinpointing a safe way down, he didn't hesitate, quickly leaping down to the cave floor. Once he was out of the entryway, light was able to squeeze in, and he was able to look around better.

Near the cave wall, there was a shadow darker than the rest, and he bounded toward it. "Crowdance! StarClan, you're safe!" He stopped in front of her, rubbing his face against hers and burying his nose into the fur at the back of her neck. Relief washed over him as he inhaled her scent, so thankful that she was alive, never realising when he had begun to purr, nor how loudly. She was safe, that's all that mattered.

Crowdance was safe.

---

W O L F C L A W

Insidious

[Insidious]

The cave was unbearably cold and frighteningly lonely. She could handle the darkness—for she had never been the sun’s number one fan to begin with—but the chill was starting to seep into the bottom of her paws, and she couldn’t help but flinch every time she thought she heard a strange noise. After a while, she had stopped calling out her deputy’s name. She had begun to feel foolish for thinking he’d try to dig her out on his own when it made more sense to fetch the rest of their patrol, or to send someone back to camp for more cats. He was the deputy, and he had all of StoneClan to think about on a near-constant basis. There was no way he would act irrationality—or heroically like she imagined one night too many in her dreams—in reality. A couple of hours (or was it only minutes?) spent alone in a cave gave a cat like her a lot of time to mull it over.

It was that, alongside a number of other endings she had written in the confinement of her head as to how she made it out of here alive, which left room for her to be surprised when the oddly coloured tom broke through the blockade and approached her with quick strides. She sucked in a sharp breath a second before his muzzle connected with the side of her neck; the deep expression of concern in his eyes would’ve panicked her under any other circumstance, but she was too relieved to overthink it. Her heart was thudding so loud she feared he would be able to hear it and, of course, Crowdance couldn’t stress about one thing without it leading to another whenever it involved Wolfclaw.

She pulled away from him. A second later she was bombarded by regret, closely followed by guilt, because she had a perfect tom standing in front of her and no idea what to do with him. “I—” She stammered, “I don’t—” Like you? She wouldn’t be able to form the words without tripping over her own tongue.

She had never been a good liar.

He had gone through so much trouble to save her, and even though she was grateful, she couldn’t help feeling like he had wasted his time. There was someone better for him in StoneClan. When he had been pressed against her, purring, she had wanted nothing more than to give in, but it scared her just the same. Maybe it was the effects of being trapped in a cave all alone with no food or water starting to kick in. Crowdance closed her mouth, because she knew just as well as anybody else would know that she had nothing of significance to say. She needed to tell him that she was thankful. She needed to tell him he had done his job and nothing more….

Without thinking, Crowdance leaned back into him and closed her eyes—this time it wasn’t Wolfclaw’s purr that filled her ears, either. “Wolfclaw,” she mewed quietly, her mouth pressed close to his ear, “I’m scared.” Not of the cave. Not of the cold. Not of the dark. But falling in love was scarier than anything she had ever experienced. “You have always been there, haven’t you? I’ve made it so difficult. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I was thinking going near this cave.” She was rambling. Was that better than when she used to not say anything at all?

Tags: Amber
Words: 590

[Deleted]

SEND OUT THE SIGNAL AND I'LL FLY LOW
IF IT MEANS THE DEATH OF ME, I WON'T LET GO

When she pulled away from him, he felt a strange emptiness. He realized that being so close had felt...right, though he didn't fully understand why. It was strange. The emotions currently filling him felt both new and familiar at the same time, and he had trouble sorting out exactly what they were.

"I- I don't-"

Strangely, the words felt like rejection, and Wolfclaw could feel his throat tighten. What was going on?

When she leaned into him again, he sighed softly, pressing against her and matching her purr. "Wolfclaw, I'm scared." He stepped closer, pressing his head more firmly against hers, trying to assuage whatever her fears may be. "Shhh, it's alright."

"You've always been there, haven't you? I've made it so difficult. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I was thinking going near this cave."

He let the silence she left hang in the air for a few heartbeats before daring to speak up. "I'll always be there." He drew back a little so he could look her in the eye. His gaze was serious; he didn't want her to doubt anything he was about to say. "I mean it, Crowdance. I'll always be there, not because I don't think you're an incapable or inadequate warrior who needs to be protected, but because I-" He fought the urge to look away from her as he felt a strange anxiety within, and swallowed hard before continuing. "I don't know what I'd do if anything bad were to happen to you."

Though difficult, he managed to maintain eye contact, giving her a faint smile. The action helped ease his mood a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to let his smile grow. As he stood there with her, he couldn’t deny that being close to her was something he desired, but there was still an uncertainty, a fear, even, that had him questioning how to and even if he should give voice to those feelings. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away.

He knew that his need to protect her, that his actions during the last few hours, went above and beyond his responsibilities as StoneClan’s deputy. He suddenly realized that she was more than just a Clanmate to him. She was precious, and he wanted to protect that. As that realization came to the forefront of his mind, the confusion surrounding his emotions lifted, and he could more properly identify them.

He was still nervous to speak his thoughts, but the need to tell her how he felt outweighed his fears. He’d take the repercussions as they came, and could only hope she wouldn’t flee. “You mean so much to me. You’re precious, and beautiful, and so perfectly imperfect. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it, and I’m sorry for that, but I really don’t want to lose you.” He hoped she could see the sincerity in his eyes, and prayed that she wouldn’t stammer out a rejection and flee the cave the way he had come in.

“StoneClan may mean the world to me, but you...you mean so much more.”

Insidious

WOLFCLAW