[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R
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There was no denying that his life had gotten substantially more busy upon assuming the role of RainClan leader. He was thankful for Timberwing’s devotion, and everyday served as a reminder of why she had been chosen to be the deputy. He could be certain that the camp was left in capable, trustworthy paws whenever he sought to spend some of the spare time that he had with those that were closest to his arguably cold heart. Looking through the corner of his eye now, a fond smile touched the corner of his mouth, content to be at the side of his mate. Lately, she had seemed quiet with him, or perhaps distant was a more accurate word for it. He wouldn’t blame her for being a little weary of his new responsibilities; it had done its part to sever their time together. Whatever it was that was on her mind, though, he hoped could be resolved by spending an afternoon with her and focusing on nothing else.

No distractions.

“We only have three apprentices,” he offered to start the conversation, his tone betraying none of the genuine worry that plagued him. “New additions to the Clan will certainly be welcomed this season. A few unfamiliar faces would make for a nice change, and the Clans are always in need of more promising, future warriors.” He had yet to take part in an apprentice’s transformation into a warrior, and he looked forward to being able to witness their smiling faces firsthand, giving them the chance to serve the Clan as a warrior just like they had spent their lives preparing to do. That never ceased to be a special day. Even he recalled feeling a certain fondness for being given the name Razorfang, like he had accomplished something important, but that was a lot different from the way it felt to be addressed with his brand new suffix.

Fondly, the leader allowed his tail to gently rest against the side of Roselight’s body, giving her his undivided attention. He knew that something was on her mind, and he hoped that she was equally aware of the fact that he wasn’t completely oblivious to whatever she was keeping from him. Mind, he was unprepared for the pleasant news to come, but currently he was expectant of the worst. Had she grown fatigued of his companionship? It took a lot of effort to refrain from permitting a frown to spread across the length of his hazelnut jaw. There was no saying for sure how he’d react to receiving that type of news. Razorstar wasn’t well known for his wide variety of emotions, so he’d likely be expected to take it like a tom and simply move on, accepting it for what it was. He liked to fancy himself capable, but surely once he was alone in the leader’s den, he would allow himself to ponder what he had done wrong like a sensitive, young she-cat. Sure, his heart was made of stone, but Roselight so happened to be the one thing that could break it.

He didn’t want to directly ask her what was on her mind, in fear that he’d be invading her privacy and forcing her to discuss something that she wasn’t ready to discuss. If she didn’t mention anything by the end of their fishing trip, then perhaps he’d suck it up and ask her a few questions. Until then, however, he was content to play her game and pretend that everything was fine.

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Tags: Fawn
Word Count: 585.

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

Was that nervousness in his eyes, or had she imagined it? There was, of course, a good chance that her own tumultuous emotional state had simply been reflected back at her, once she looked into the attractive green-gray gaze of her mate's eyes. It was peculiar to even think about, the idea that he had something to be nervous about, around her; Roselight had pledged to stay by his side, had wisely chosen to give him space as he adjusted to his new leadership duties, it was hard for her to imagine him being nervous other anything when it was in regards to herself.

Were her ears deceiving her, or did Razorstar keep using the words new additions and future warriors more than once? Or perhaps, in her newly emotional state, Roselight had latched onto those words as if they were an appropriate segue into a the topic that she had found so difficult to approach with him. You need to just tell him, needled a voice inside her head, encouraging the pale-furred she-cat to walk with a little more grace; even if her parents were, in her opinion, old-fashioned and mortifying with their Clan-Blood purity nonsense, they had always instilled in their daughter a strong sense of self and a sense of pride. She was a RainClan warrior, and a conversation with her mate should not have been as terrifying as she had somehow been building it up to be; it was unlike her to be so anxious. Of course, that could just be the hormones kicking in.

When Roselight spoke, it was with a soft purr, steps slowing until they were both standing very still, a soft sweep of her tail against Razorstar's flank returning his affectionate gesture. "You'll be seeing a few unfamiliar faces soon enough, Razorstar." With a queen's dignity, cerulean eyes finally unveiling some of the inner joy she'd been feeling since Swanfeather had given her the news, Roselight spoke the words she'd been keeping so close to her heart. "I'm pregnant."

Of course it had come across her thoughts that he would reject the idea of being a father, that he would shun the notion of family so soon, especially when the Clan was expecting him to perform as Razorstar, and his leadership duties took precedence over fatherhood. It was with a tinge of defensive aggression that she had avowed to take care of these kits whether they were to Razorstar's liking or not; they were on their way, and not even StarClan could undo it. If her mate felt unsure, or worse, if this frightened him away from their relationship, then there would be none more heartbroken than she, but she was not some empty headed little she-cat. When times grew difficult, Roselight, even with a spoiled kithood, had long ago learned to sink in her claws and dig deep, her sense of perseverance was just as strong as her sense of pride, and together, they often made her too proud to ask for help. Roselight also had the feeling that Timberwing, the kindly old soul that she was, would help her, if Razorstar failed to step up to this new path she had set him on just a heartbeat ago.

Worst case scenario, Razorstar turned away from her, withdrew his affections without warning and would act as though she was just another queen he had no personal attachment to.

Best case scenario, he was actually happy about this, and that knot of tension that had been pulsing in her chest would ease, and she could begin to breathe properly.


----
Insidious
Word Count: roughly 600 words

[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R
- - - - - -

He hadn’t been prepared. There was no other way to say it: he hadn’t been prepared for her to say those two words, to mean them, and then to look into his eyes in search of the happiness she hoped he would reciprocate. That happiness was inside of him somewhere, surely, but it came second to the electric shock that surged through his entire body, making his legs feel weak and his eyes feel like they were moments away from popping out of his head. It took him a few seconds to realize that his jaw had nearly hit the floor, opening and closing his mouth like a fishbrained fool. Roselight was pregnant.

Roselight was pregnant?

His first instinct was to recoil in horror, a stern voice trying but failing to hide his anxiety as he demanded an explanation for how this could have happened. Then, of course, he realized how utterly stupid that would be of him to ask. He knew how this happened, but rather, he didn’t know why this happened. Was he ready to be a father? Was he ready to have kits running around his legs, chasing his tail, trying to conquer the almighty Clan leader and then smiling up at him with big, round eyes when he let them win? That was a lot of responsibility to add to his plate, and although he had no way of knowing if he’d be able to handle it, and be able to give them the kind of father that they would undoubtedly deserve to have, there was one thing that he knew with complete certainty . . .

He would never tell Roselight, his Roselight, that she would have to raise them alone.

At a loss for words, he settled for a strong purr reverberating in the back of his throat, pressing his jaw into the pretty she-cat’s neck affectionately. There was a ton of unusual emotions swirling inside of his head, and he wasn’t used to the way it felt to be so bombarded by a vast range of feelings. He decided that, despite his concerns, this was a good thing for him. He had never given much thought to the idea of having kits; it hadn’t seemed like something he would ever have the chance to do for a while, and then when Roselight became an important part of his life, he still hadn’t expected that she’d ever dream of creating this kind of permanency between them. All in all, he was happy - he was thrilled.

“Roselight,” leaning away, he grinned like he was a lovesick apprentice, the expression itself seeming quite unnatural on his face. “This is great news. You’ll be a fantastic mother, and I’ll . . .” There was a brief flash of apprehension in his gray-green eyes, there and gone in an instant. “I’ll hopefully be a fantastic father.” He was unsure of how kits would respond to him: the big, scary RainClan leader with uncannily sharp rows of teeth (the better to slice you with) and a general aura of unapproachable coldness haunting his every move. Hopefully he’d be able to be soft enough with them, kind enough with them, in order to help them grow into amazing warriors. There was no doubt in his mind that Roselight would be able to do it, but he wasn’t so sure of himself. But, of course, he would never admit to his own lack of confidence, because for all intents and purposes, he didn’t have a side that lacked confidence.

- - - - - -

Tags: Fawn
Word Count: 582.

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

Against all odds, Razorstar gave her the best case scenario. That grin was unmistakable. There was no way on this wide green earth that she could misunderstand that reaction from him, so rare was that expression; swept up in relief, Roselight purred. That troubled, queasy feeling was still very much present in her belly, but it was soon the realization of the newly-made queen that it was morning sickness, though awaiting Razorstar's response had been a major contributor to her unsettled stomach. "You will be," she affirmed, confident that he would rise to the occasion the same manner in which he had stepped up to his leadership role, and before that, his deputy role, and before that, mentorship.

They were walking along a familiar life path that many other cats in the Clan had already taken, but there was nothing old or overrated about it, Roselight felt blessed to have a mate who would welcome this change gladly (well, mostly), rather than take a step back and run from his duties as a father for fear of it pinning him down. She had been worried that, with everyone else Razorstar dealt with on a day-to-day basis, that this news would only add to his stresses - but she had worried for naught. "I haven't even told my parents yet. Apart from Swanfeather, only Russethawk knew before you did." Cerulean eyes glinted, proud and with a twinkling of amusement, "and that's because he overheard me talking to the medicine cat."

She would acknowledge her cousin's 'efforts' to keep her secret. He did keep his mouth shut, as far as she knew, the shock on face couldn't have been fabricated in any way, shape or form; Razorstar was no con-artist, and Roselight could say with utter certainty that he was not the sort of cat to react against how he truly felt just for the benefit of another cat. Knowing that he likely felt some anxiety over this whole situation (it was, in every sense of the words, 'life changing'), the salmon-hued feline pressed her muzzle into her mate's short coat, stealing a few heartbeats to wordlessly express her love of and support of him.

They would be good, decent parents. They would raise these kits without the prejudices Roselight's parents had instilled in her, they would raise happier, healthier, humbler kits than either of them combined. It was the hope of every parent that their children was their better, that they inherited only the good traits - but Roselight wasn't worried about the bad traits, either. Razorstar had had a difficult past, but she chose to look at his ability to overcome his own flaws, to be better than anyone had ever thought him capable of being.

Roselight was immensely proud of him, perhaps more than she had ever been of anyone in her entire life. Next to Russethawk's warrior ceremony, and the first time Razorstar had stepped onto the River Stone to deliver a speech, a morning that had been so full of dread and apprehension was quickly becoming the most significant morning of her life. This moment will be pushed aside soon enough, we'll just have to wait and see. The she-cat smiled to herself, feeling a giddy sensation that mixed in with the nausea and the excitement. Once the kits were born, she would have a new moment to cherish so deeply.

Insidious
Word Count: 559 Words

[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R
- - - - - -

He appreciated her reassurance, the smile on her face the proof that he needed that she meant every word. The nervousness was to be expected, but there was no mistaking the excitement that they both felt alongside it, propelling them towards their new responsibilities as a mother and father together. When she mentioned Russethawk knowing before he did, a glint of understanding shone through his eyes, brought back to a recent memory in which he had been hunting alongside Rippletail and the tomcat in question. The two warriors had been giddy, the expressions on their faces much too . . . forced to actually be genuine. He knew that they had been keeping something from him, but until now, he had never been quite so thankful that they had been able to keep their mouths shut. He would not have wanted for anyone other than Roselight to enlighten him of this fantastic news; to share this precious moment with him. ”Russethawk must have told Rippletail,” the leader purred with slight amusement, “I went hunting with that pair not too long ago. Russethawk looked about ready to burst, and Rippletail seemed no less on edge. I knew that something was going on, but I had no idea what -” Razorstar paused, regarding his beautiful mate for a silent moment, rasping his tongue along the edge of her ear as a sign of affection, his voice a lot quieter now due to their closeness. “- what great news it was going to be.”

At mention of Roselight’s parents, the leader had to try and keep his fur from bristling. He did his best to get along with them, but it was quite difficult when they regarded him as nothing more than an outsider - they respected him as their Clan leader because they had to, but he knew that, if they had a say, then the hierarchy of RainClan would have been placed into the paws of someone with a bloodline as pure as Sandstar’s, not someone who was loner-born alongside their NightClan-born deputy. He had taken that factor into consideration when Timberwing had been chosen. It had, in fact, almost swayed him away from announcing her name that afternoon. However, he had realized that it did not matter where she had come from, or even where he had come from. He was here now, and his loyalty was pure enough to make up for where his bloodline was not. Timberwing was accepting, she was adaptable, she was kind, and that was more than most cats could claim to be.

“Your parents won’t be pleased, I imagine.” Although he hated to spoil their good moods, it was something that he believed was important enough to bring up. It was no shocker that Roselight’s parents did not approve of their relationship, and even though he knew that Roselight did not judge him as they did, it did not lessen the fact that they were her parents and, therefore, held significant positions in her life. “I will come with you when you tell them, unless you would rather do it alone.” It was difficult for him to be in such a close proximity of Roselight’s parents, especially knowing how quick they were to belittle him, but he would put their differences aside for his mate’s sake. This was a moment that they would treasure for the rest of their lives, and he wanted to be as involved as possible, even if it meant enduring a few unpleasant looks from her mother and father. If she was not looking forward to telling them the news, then he would be there to support her.

He would be there every step of the way.

- - - - - -

Tags: Fawn
Word Count: 612.

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

"I would like that," Roselight's mew was gentle and appreciative, though her tone grew more grim as the topic of her parents came to light. It wouldn't entirely spoil their good moods - nothing could, at this moment, but it would be smart to get this over with quickly. She wrapped the long pink plume around her paws, sitting beside him, body angled towards RainClan's leader. "Telling them is not quite the issue I was thinking of. My father is... Old, and prejudiced and hard-set in his ways, he's close to retirement and won't be changing his mind about anything any time soon. That being said," she paused long enough to scowl, "We'll have to make sure he doesn't influence our kits too much. I want them to be better than us, Razorstar. I want them to be better than my parents, to be kinder and more compassionate than you and I." Roselight wasn't perfect, and neither was the father of her kits, but they could at least acknowledge this.

They would both strive towards doing what was best for their offspring, she had no doubts about this. Her meddlesome bigoted parents, however, might try to weasel their way in and fill their heads with ridiculous notions about RainClan and pureness of lineage and all that other nonsense. She'd used to believe it, too, until she had befriended Henfeather - something her parents never entirely warmed up to. They more pitied Henfeather because Henfeather's parents had died early, but with the knowledge that she wasn't as pure-born as they were, they had remained politely neutral towards Henfeather throughout much of her apprenticeship and warriorhood. They brought out the stubborn streak in their daughter, as most parents often did in their children, but the friends she had made and the tom she had fallen in love with had nothing to do with some petty rebellion tactic against Salmonfur and Silverflower.

Just then, the pretty feline felt a few seeds of worry over how Razorstar would handle that; she needed him to be the bigger tom, to not get so angry with Salmonfur and Silverflower that he snapped and caused a Blood Feud. She still wanted their offspring to have grandparents, to be able to endure the full strength of their family tree - her parents weren't all bad; her mother had a great sense of humor and her father was an extremely talented tracker, with a few entertaining stories of his apprenticeship (He and his brother, Russethawk's father, had been quite adventurous). It was a balancing act, between the four of them. She would also have a word with them in private to respect her and Razorstar's authority over their own kits; she doubted they would always follow through with this, but she was putting her paw down hard nonetheless.

Word Count: 467 Words
Tags: Insidious