[Insidious]

C R I M S O N S H A D O W

- - - - - -

Having said his final goodbyes, and pleasantly enough with a few final hours of early morning light upon his side, he fully expected a clean exit from the leader’s den and a straight path for the unclaimed lands that would lead him up the valley and into StoneClan. He hadn’t wished to make a huge scene and draw attention to himself. Nobody would probably immediately ask questions about his sudden disappearance once everyone was awake, but if anybody did have a heart large enough to be concerned with him, then he was certain that Lionstar or Gorsetail would be more than happy to handle it - to assure everyone that he was making a choice that he believed would make him happier than he ever could be in the shadow of Grayowl.

Alarm shot up his spine and had his paws scattering to hit their brakes, nearly collided with the body of his former mentor and likely taking them both to the ground in the process. He had been in such a hurry to get out of TreeClan that he hadn’t been mindful of the possibility that somebody very well could be awake. He blinked, trying to erase the unease that clouded his saddened eyes, the blur taking shape and showing to him the face of Sunstride.

He supposed that there was one last apology he had to make.

“Oh… hi.” The warrior blurted out, throwing shaken glances over Sunstride’s shoulders and into the expanse of trees that waited patiently to greet him. “You’re up early.” There was no reason for him to be making small-talk. If he kept stalling, more cats would start to wake up, and he didn’t think that he could handle anymore fleeting goodbyes after this. Crimsonshadow settled into an uncomfortable sit, pawing awkwardly at his spotted ear. “I… I just talked to Lionstar and Gorsetail. I’ve decided to leave TreeClan immediately.” He truly hoped that Sunstride would try and understand; that he wouldn’t need him to explain himself again. He didn’t want to leave so many cats under the impression that Grayowl had infected him. That the charcoal warrior, in the wake of his recent banishment, had managed to ruin one cat’s life before he was gone for good. He had poisoned his blood, made him do terrible, terrible things, and even had him liking it at one point. There was no running away from every bad memory that was instilled into his brain. All he could do now was try and accept them and move on.

“Listen, I realize now how bad of an apprentice I was. I looked to Grayowl as my mentor, and followed his instruction, when I should have been following yours. I hope that you get assigned a new apprentice soon. One that can live up to your expectations and not take your teachings for granted.” This was very well the last time that he’d speak to Sunstride in a very long time. If StoneClan accepted him, then perhaps they’d see one another again at Gatherings, but it’d probably be a while before he was welcomed to attend as a StoneClan warrior.

It was revealed through the shifting of his paws that he was anxious to leave. He didn’t want to rush this final goodbye with Sunstride, but there was a lot of things that he had to do. Knowing now that he was free to leave, and to never return, made staying in these lands feel all the more foreign and unnatural. He no longer belonged.

It felt a lot like he had decided to banish himself, destined to follow in the footsteps of the monster that made him just the same.

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Tags: @ghostlight
Word Count: 629.

[Deleted]

Sunstride
The Brightest Flame
Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow
And every tomorrow, maybe you'll let me borrow your heart
And is it too much to ask for every Sunday
And while we're at it, throw in every other day to start

---

The ginger and white tom had been up early, as always, as he tended to make sure he grabbed a couple pieces of prey from the woods before starting a normal day inside Treeclan with his clanmates. He had been padding towards the nursery to check in on Gentlebreeze, or as much of a check up he could do with her becoming silent since the loss of her only surviving kit. He hadn't been expecting to run into the last cat on his mind at the moment.

Now, granted, Crimsonshadow was always somewhere in Sunstride's mind, as the older tom still worried for his former apprentice, more now that Grayowl had been banished for attempted murder, but with Gentlebreeze's condition and his new found rule breaker in Rippletail, Crimsonshadow had just been pushed back a few inches. But, now, here he was, green orbs staring into the darker orbs of the tom in-front of him.

A soft smile touched the muzzle of Sunstride as he moved his tail forwards to touch Crimsonshadow's flank. "You were never a bad apprentice, stubborn, but not bad." He mewed gently, green eyes flickering with different emotions that were battling within his own body, but he was sad to know that Crimsonshadow would no longer be apart of Treeclan.

"We all have our heros."

 He started, letting his eyes glance towards Lionstar's den, before turning back to the younger tom, "It was unfortunately that your hero became the villain." Yes, Sunstride never liked Grayowl, but he would never have expected him to be who he actually was, and it was a jolting moment to know you could have clan-mates like that.

"I hope you are happy where you are going..." Sunstride meowed to him, stepping aside to stand by his flank as he started to walk Crimsonshadow towards the camp entrance, "If you need anything, Crimsonshadow, I'm always here." He said, letting the young tom know that he wasn't alone, even if he felt it after everything that had happened.

---

When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Insidious]

C R I M S O N S H A D O W

- - - - - -

It was in Sunstride’s nature to be too kind. To give out his forgiveness so easily, as though it was of no such burden to suddenly put aside every negative emotion that had ever existed in their relationship as mentor-apprentice. Needless to say that the young warrior was not thankful for such a thing, for if the trait didn’t belong to his former teacher, then the chances of their shaky relationship being mended so quickly would have lessened substantially. He knew that he didn’t deserve such good treatment, especially from the likes of those that seemed to be giving him some of the best. However, he wasn’t so selfless as to say such a thing aloud. He was extremely appreciative of how easy it was seeming thus far to make amends of his forest-wide image as a reckless, brainless servant.

He trotted slowly at Sunstride’s flank, absorbing all of the words that he was meant to hear. It was unfortunate that his hero had become the villain, though he’d be a liar if to say that he hadn’t known such to be true from the start. He knew wholeheartedly what Grayowl had been capable of, what he planned to do to TreeClan regardless of what it cost them, and he had supported him nonetheless. He had wanted nothing more than to be the villain’s little sidekick. Perhaps that was part of what made their story so interesting … that one of the minds under the master’s control had switched allegiance.

“I’m sure that I’ll be happy, should Hawkstar find that it’s worth the risk of allowing me into his Clan.” He hadn’t planned on telling too many felines where he was going, but he knew that he could trust Sunstride to keep the information to himself. Besides, it seemed far too … disrespectful, in a sense, to abandon his mentor here and now with not a word of where he planned to go. Sunstride wouldn’t judge, nor would he inquire, as to why StoneClan had been Crimsonshadow’s first choice. He’d undoubtedly be interested, though he expected that the tomcat would be the type to respect Crimsonshadow’s privacy. Nobody had to know that StoneClan had been his first pick because of a pretty she-cat named Cloudfall. Nobody had to know that the machine, that the blood lusting monster in training, had suddenly understood what it felt like to fall in love. Little did he know that Sunstride was in a very similar boat, what with his unbeknownst feelings for a certain RainClan she-cat. They had both found someone that they cared about, someone that they treasured, and they had both found it somewhere outside of TreeClan’s borders. Perhaps they weren’t so different, after all.

Crimsonshadow paused at the edges of the camp, seconds away from vanishing into the shrubbery to disappear from TreeClan forever. He allowed himself to take one last look around the camp, wanting to ensure that he didn’t forget any of the little details - that he never truly forgot the place that he was raised; the place he had been raised to love, but no longer could. Meeting Sunstride’s eyes, he finally found himself familiarizing with the sadness plaguing the warrior’s expression. Was it really so hard to watch him leave? TreeClan would be better off with some of the remaining ties to Grayowl taking their leave, as well. Tipping his head, he forced something along the lines of an awkward smile. “Thank you. I guess it isn’t too late for me to maybe start being here for you, too.” Because the two of them had never truly talked. Not outside of this one moment. He had neglected to be the kind of apprentice that Sunstride deserved to have, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try and make up for it. It’d be difficult, perhaps on the verge of impossible, to simply stumble upon Sunstride on a later date outside of Gatherings. However, if some kind of miracle such as that took place, he wouldn’t mind sitting down with the tomcat for a while to catch up and to do the sorts of things they should have done when Crimsonshadow had been younger.

“You know where to find me, if that offer of mine ever sounds like the kind of thing you just might need.”

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Tags: @ghostlight
Word Count: 760.