[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R

A sight that nobody would ever see was Razorstar walking through RainClan's camp with a flower clamped between two intimidating rows of teeth. Today, however, was the exception of a lifetime. The flower was a little damp, and sure, it could have been a little more lively and a little more colourful, but he had to make due with what he could find. Few things weren't wet around here, and that sadly did include the flowers. He wasn't well known for his expertise in the romance department, but the fact that he was willing to try and experiment with it was promising.

Gray-green eyes softened upon locating Roselight in the clearing, kicking up his pace until he reached her side, settling into a seat directly in front of her. He placed the flower, in all of its damp, bruised and beaten glory, at her paws, a silly grin threatening to crack the unnerving stillness of his facial features. "I wouldn't grow to expect this on a regular basis, if I were you. It took way too long for my liking to find something even remotely decent."

In light of his recent promotion, he hadn't been spending enough time with his mate. He didn't want to admit that his new duties were a touch more time consuming than what he was used to, but with a little more time and a little more practice, he was certain that he would find a way to balance everything out evenly. He could only hope that this unexpected gesture would make up for the past few days that they hadn't been able to sit down together and talk. Leading a whole Clan was a lot of work, but he didn't want to fall too far behind on what was happening inside of his mate's life. It was with a fondness in his eyes reserved for Roselight, and Roselight alone, that he finally allowed himself to relax and give her his full, undivided attention.

"How have you been lately? I know we haven't been able to see a lot of each other with recent events, but I was hoping we could make up for all of that lost time this afternoon. Take a walk with me?" He remained seated, waiting to see if Roselight would be willing to accept his invitation before he did anything else.

Fawn

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

An unexpectedly romantic gesture from a tom not known for his sentimental means of expression. Roselight's voice purr filled the space between them as she regarded the bedraggled flower he had brought for her – wet as was mandatory of everything in their Clan's territory – touched by his efforts. ”It's beautiful, Razorfa—Razorstar. On a regular basis or not,” A warm purr of her words, cerulean eyes, deep as pools, took in the sight of him sitting there, his new role in their Clan's hierarchy having made him busier than most cats, but he still found the time to request that she take a walk with him. There was some relief in him coming to find her – Roselight had worried that if she were to request a little of his time simply to catch up with one another and keep up a healthy communication, that she would be robbing the Clan of their leader for longer than was necessary.

By him coming to find her – and bringing a flower, no less – he had assuaged her worries. He was the cat the Clan looked to for guidance, but he was still her mate as well. No boost in status would ever change this.

”Of course, just a moment.” A delicate parting of pristine white teeth, the tips of which enclosed around the flower's stem, the pretty pinkish-furred she-cat carried the floral gift into the warriors den to lay it in her nest where no one would touch it, and she could gaze at it again tonight (hopefully) before it wilted. She paused at the entrance to run a paw over the top of her head, wishing to maintain an immaculate appearance despite the sogginess of the ground and the frequent spray of dirt from those coming in and going out of camp. It was more than just vanity, however. Roselight desired a clean, spotless appearance for her mate as well as for her mate's new status; the partner of a Clan leader could hardly go around looking ragged, could they?

Rejoining Razorstar, she dared an open nuzzle into the dark fur of his collar, pelt brushing as she made an elegant pass towards the Willow Stream, steps slowing to allow him to dictate which direction he wished to walk in. She had no qualms over where he picked – she would anywhere, if he asked it of her.

[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R

Black fur mingling pleasantly with the salmon of his companion, he continued in step towards the Willow Stream. It was a place of importance to the pair; for him it was, at least. They had both wound up there at the same time by nothing more than chance, and it solidified the beginning of their relationship. It was the first time that he recalled feeling something for Roselight. It was her that his mind had first wandered to at the time of the flood, concerned for her safety, and wanting to see for himself that she was okay. He hadn't been able to admit that he cared about her under a romantic light at the time of such an event, though looking back on it now, he was certain that his feelings for her went back as far as that.

Nevertheless, it began at the Willow Stream. It was then that he stopped trying to push his desire to be with her away. He gave into it and did what he never deemed possible for himself: he fell in love.

It was such a strange feeling. Before, he never thought that he wanted it. He never thought he could want someone, but she managed to change that. She hadn't run away at the first sight of his teeth, and she hadn't been driven away by his cold disposition. Perhaps that was all he had needed someone to do.

"Violetclaw and I had a discussion," The leader offered up to begin their conversation, wanting to involve his mate in the matters of his life. Roselight likely knew well enough that Razorstar and Violetclaw had never been on good terms, but he believed that all of that was finally behind them now. "I wanted to ask her privately what quarrels she held against me. We talked for a while, and I think we figured things out - she even apologized. Though, I still don't understand her irrational behavior in regards to Sandstar's death..." Pondering it for only a moment before he shook his head to dispel the thought, he turned to look into his mate's eyes, the oblivion towards Violetclaw's feelings for the dead leader clear as day. "To actually accuse me, a Clan mate, of having anything to do with it."

Sighing, he let his black tail lightly settle against the she-cat's own. "But that doesn't matter anymore. It's thankfully behind the two of us now." He was trying to make an effort with everyone of RainClan, not wishing for any of his Clan mates to despise him as they likely had when he was the deputy. If he expected RainClan to support him in the position, and to support his decisions as leader, then he had to make everyone realize that he was only looking to achieve for the Clan what was in their best interest.

Fawn

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

Mere mention of their aggressive Clanmate's name was enough to give rise to Roselight's defensive streak, but she listened without comment as Razorstar launched into a brief summary of events, even informing her that Violetclaw had accused Razorstar of having had something to do with Sandstar's death. The pretty she-cat's features remained calm, but her ears had flicked back in a brief expression of displeasure – how dare she accuse him of such a horrid thing! – before she, perhaps owing to her feminine perspective, saw what Razorstar had initially failed to see.

A small, knowing smile was hung like jewelry upon the warrior's face, her eyes radiating a kind of apologetic understanding. Roselight had never had much sympathy towards the brusque, militaristic she-cat that was one of the many main stresses in her mate's life, but in this situation, she could understand Violetclaw's reaction a bit better than he did.
”Love tends to make cats irrational,” Roselight mewed, her tail brushing over the tom's slender black one, curling and uncurling in thought. ”Though I wouldn't go so far as to say there was love between the two of them, but judging by her reaction – she might've felt stronger for him than just as a dutiful warrior.” Inwardly, the she-cat found some amusement from Razorstar's oblivion when it came to this scenario; it was a tragedy, Sandstar's death, but that wasn't what gave her the urge to chuckle.

It was exceptionally telling of Razorstar's character that he was willing to reach out and repair relationships that were damaged but of no fault of his own (in most cases), perhaps he desired a reign smoothed of unnecessary stresses, so that he could better focus on leading? Perhaps. And perhaps not. Roselight believed that he chose to reach out to others because deep down, in his heart of hearts and under the layer of ice his personality maintained, Razorstar desired to connect with others for the sake of a stronger Clan. It was not selfish reasons that motivated him, in her opinion.

But that goodness in him that had earned him the rank of deputy in the first place.

[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R

Violetclaw was not among those whom he deemed endowed with the power of indulgence. She would sooner jump to conclusions, even if the conclusion happened to be that Sandstar’s deputy had purposefully complicated his death. He would never claim to understand what had motivated her livid words, nor would he claim that it was an easy matter to forgive and forget. If it was love that had proved able to blind the belligerent warrior, then perhaps he could try and make sense of her accusations; her need to assure the Clan, or more likely herself, that the killer would get their justice. He could do that, something so simple, for the one feline that had proved on numerous accounts prior to be his nemesis.

The two of them, it seemed, kept encountering a whirlwind of surprises. Where Violetclaw had likely been surprised to see him so willing to discuss their former leader’s death, and to be open and honest with her when it was so much easier to be hostile, he had been just as surprised by the words of his mate and the insight she offered him into Violetclaw’s mind. She had the same weakness as everybody else. She was prone to being wedged and squished beneath its potentially destructive aftermath, just like the rest of them.

How preposterous that Violetclaw, the she-cat of militaristic loyalty, could actually have something humane inside of her.

Stunned by the news and, as of yet, showing no signs of recovery, the leader continued to stare ahead, dumbfounded. If he had known before that Violetclaw had possessed some kind of an emotional attachment to Sandstar, then… then a lot of things would have been different. Somebody could have been there for her when news of his death first reached the Clan. Razorstar could have better understood what she had implied through using Roselight in her example, trying to make him see what she had seen when a dead Clanmate returned, hung on his back and completely still - a Clanmate that she had cared about.

“Violetclaw cared about Sandstar.” Repeating the words, he thought, would make it easier for them to sink in, but to no avail. It opened his eyes to whatever else could be happening in RainClan right under his nose. How many of his Clanmates, StarClan forbid, had a secret? How much was there that he didn’t know?

Turning his face to better see into Roselight’s pretty eyes, he considered her thoughtfully, for she had proved today that she perhaps held a knowledge inside of her head about a number of Clan-related matters that he was otherwise oblivious to.

“Thankfully I wasn’t too harsh with her, then. I never thought her capable of caring about another, given how focused she is on the Clan’s wellbeing.” It was sad that, not too long ago, he was fitted to those very words. The Clan’s wellbeing had been of the utmost importance, and even though that hadn’t changed in the slightest, he had done what had once been the unthinkable when he made room in his life for a she-cat. “It’s a lot easier to make sense of her actions, now, and also the discussion that we had - some of the things she said.”

Since Razorstar was unable to understand anything even remotely close to emotion, he was thankful that he had somebody close to him that did. She would be able to help him through things such as this, for he had no hope of being able to do it on his own; uncoding the mind of a she-cat in love had never been one of his talents. A deep purr rumbled in the back of his throat, gently pressing his nose into the space between her shoulder and her neck as they neared their location, slowing the steady rhythm of their steps. “What other unexpected insight do you have, Roselight?”

OOC: PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT LOL.

Fawn

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

"I don't think one's goals for the Clan can completely override feelings of the heart, it seems to only impact whether or not they act on these feelings," the salmon hued she-cat responded thoughtfully, finding that to be the only logical answer. Medicine Cats were not impervious to romance, as much as it wasn't allowed; nor were female deputies or leaders, it was a perfectly feline thing to do, wasn't it? Falling in love or gaining an attachment for someone. It was proof you were alive, that your heart worked. Yes it could be the single most painful experience of your life, for love was a dangerous and often tangled endeavor, but was she not proof that you could fall in love more than once? Roselight was grateful for this, too - that her heart had not stubbornly clung to Blazestar so much that she could not see Razorstar for who he was.

A small, thoughtful smile lifted the corners of her muzzle, feeling a warmth in her body over the good fortune StarClan had blessed them with. Life could be hard, it was best not to have to do it alone. "Unexpected insights? Just that RainClan's new leader seems to be ushering in a kinder, loyal era than RainClan's likely seen in a while. He's very good at disproving negative assumptions and shoving it right back into the faces of those naysayers, wouldn't you agree?" Cerulean eyes filled with pride for her mate, proud of his accomplishments both Clan-wide and personal, proud that he had come so far and done it all on his own four paws. Though, even if he had had help, it would have in no way lessened the triumph of his new reign as leader. What happened to you, when you went to the Moon Tree? Roselight longed to ask him about this, but she knew those secrets would never be revealed to her; it was as if he had cast aside his rock-hard exterior while there and returned to them with a heart with a greater capability for compassion and empathy - even for she-cats like Violetclaw, who had never done much to earn Razorstar's respect and trust.

She didn't know if they respected or trusted one another yet, but at the very least it seemed as though they understood one another.

[Insidious]

R A Z O R S T A R
- - - - - -

Arriving at their destination, the leader settled comfortably within the proximity of where it was that their relationship had first blossomed. He recalled that memory in particular with a lot of fondness, remembering how it felt to be so uncertain of her feelings, and even of his own. He could hardly remember the version of himself that didn’t want to fall in love. Roselight made him happier in an unexplainable way, and he feared greatly what would have become of that cold heart of his had she not shown up - would it be completely black by now?

He waited patiently for the she-cat to take a seat at his side, nuzzling her affectionately when she finally did. Her words had a chuckle building in his throat, but it took a lot to make the leader laugh, and so he settled with allowing the fragments of a smile to outline the corners of his hazelnut jaw.“I’ve learned from experience that aggression isn’t always the best method of attaining what I want,” his relationship with Violetclaw was proof enough of this: the two only just managed to start getting along, and it never would have happened had he not tried to make an effort as he had. “Some respond better to more peaceful means of action.” Which was most definitely true. He only wanted to be the kind of leader that RainClan could be proud of, and he realized that he had to change a few things about his approach to make that happen. A leader could not remain as cold as he had been when he was deputy. He had to be able to build bonds with his Clanmates; he couldn’t try and keep himself inside of a place that nobody could ever break down.

“A few things had to change if I wanted to be the kind of leader that RainClan needs.” He had decided to voice his most recent thoughts aloud. Although many would disagree with the idea of changing the personality of oneself, there was certain situations, he found, where it wasn’t a bad thing. He wasn’t a completely different cat - some of those cold attributes clung to him like the ice they were - in fact, he believed that the old version of himself that had been RainClan’s deputy hadn’t gone anywhere, it was just lurking underneath these new personality traits that he had been forced to conjure. It wasn’t as difficult as he had thought it would be to be nice sometimes. “After all, it’d be difficult to be in charge of an entire Clan if I maintained the same, tiny social circle and didn’t try to be considerably more approachable for those who may find that they need me in one way or another.” He couldn’t just think of himself anymore. He wanted to be able to help his Clanmates whenever they happened to need him. If that meant smiling more often, and showing a willingness to make friends and to converse, then he’d do it without hesitation. Like he would continue to say, RainClan didn’t need a cold-blooded leader.

They needed someone like Sandstar, and although he could never hope of replacing the leader entirely, he believed that there was a good chance of him being an apt leader in a different way - a way that worked for him.

“I guess that change can be good, sometimes.”

- - - - - -

Tags: Fawn
Word Count: 591.

[Fawn]

Roselight
41 Moons. She-Cat. RainClan. Warrior.

Her apt attention had been given to the dark warrior seated beside her, their pelts mingling with the closeness, and a light filled a pair of pretty cerulean pools, haloed in pinkish-cream fur. "You're becoming quite the noble cat, Razorstar," those words were purred, like the sound of a stream trickling gently over a collection of water-smoothed rocks. "I can't see how any cat could come to disrespect or think ill of you, with how much of an effort your making. The whole Clan can see that," even Violetclaw, and while Roselight felt a strong swell of pride surge up like a tide, she touched her mate's shoulder with the end of a bottlebrush tail. "Don't lose sight of yourself, amidst all this change. RainClan is important, but so are you. I guess I'm trying to tell you not to overwork yourself - or change too much." After all, a moth would never become a butterfly, no matter how much they wished it.

Not that she would ever let Razorstar know she was comparing him to a butterfly; he might not be amused by the silly analogy. She hoped he took her words seriously, though; it was a dangerous balance, trying to put the needs of others far above your own, but her worry was that he would put his own sense of self at the bottom of his priorities. What would she catch him doing next, gossiping with the queens to improve Clan morale and their trust in him? It was an amusing image, but it also was very... unlike that cold, distant tom she'd fallen for all those moons ago. He hardly had to go back to the way he was, that wasn't the solution, it was simply a hope of hers that he wouldn't sacrifice too much of his own happiness for the sake of others. She didn't want to see him pretending to get along with cats he otherwise didn't like, even if it was rather unfortunate to have a leader who played favorites.

But that was better than a two-faced leader, wasn't it? Razorstar was not duplicitous, even if his jaw was a different color than the rest of his face. Regarding him with quiet, contemplative eyes, the decision was made in her heart to trust him with this - though if he lost himself in his new role, it would hardly be his fault. She'd be here to remind him of who he really was, should that happen. She'd be here by his side, always.