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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 18:42:49 GMT -5
hardly anything there for you to see
Death. He had looked into the eyes of death so many times, and had always walked away, even as stronger bodies followed into the cold embrace of the stars. He had seen death, and he had been spared.
Leaf-bare had been harsh. A greencough epidemic tore through the valley, shlashing their numbers and stealing their lives. But even at the edge of death, he had survived. Him, the sickly cat with no hope for redemption, he had lived. Why?
A question with no answer.
His fur hung from his frame. His bones stuck out grotesquely. His eyes were cold, hollow, dead. But his heart was beating. He was alive.
Weaselpaw crawled out of Rookfrost's den, too weak to leave the camp, too ill to return to the den he belonged in. The ebony-hued shadow of a cat stared blankly around the camp. Newleaf was upon them, the greencough epidemic was fading away, but he felt no joy. He felt nothing. Nothing but emptiness.
He was nothing anymore.
Nothing but a shadow.
His gold eyes were dim as he fell to his belly in the sun, letting his legs stay bent or stretched or folded wherever they had fallen, too tired to move them. He was weak, lifeless, but alive. So terribly, painfully alive.
W E A S E L P A W |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2015 10:44:03 GMT -5
Bramblethorn paused just outside the warriors' den, catching sight of Weaselpaw. Something about the apprentice seemed off, and, even if Bramblethorn wasn't the gentlest of she-cats, she had the empathy to understand something was quite wrong. She noticed he'd left the medicine cat's den. What if she caught whatever illness he had? Well, maybe it was worth it to comfort a Clanmate. Ha, 'comfort,' Bramblethorn thought, a word she wasn't used to thinking. Still, it required acknowledgment. She stepped in the apprentice's direction carefully, trying not to put too much force into her paws like she tended to do. "Are you alright?" Really, there must be something terribly amiss in the apprentice's life if the likes of Bramblethorn noticed it. She took a deep breath, inaudible. She wasn't the cleverest of cats, she'd been told, but she had a sneaking suspicion of what was going through Weaselpaw's mind. 'Survivor's guilt,' wasn't it called?
Amber |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 17:51:18 GMT -5
@moons Dead gold eyes blinked slowly as he tried to focus on the large cat approaching him. Newleaf had only just begun, and he had yet to shake off the remains of the greencough that had plagued him for so long. He lifted his head only a little, ears pricking forward to catch the words.
"Are you alright?"
Though weak, Weaselpaw still had his fire, and a spat out a retort. "Do I look alright?" His eyes narrowed into a glare, before fatigue pulled his head back down to his paws. He was just so tired...
His eyelids were heavy, but he kept them open as best he could. He didn't look at Bramblethorn again, but he knew she was still there. "How does StarClan choose?" His words were quiet, almost to himself. "What sets us apart, that one should live while others die?" He had little connection to most of the ones who had joined StarClan over leaf-bare. He didn't feel guilty that he had live instead of them. But he did wonder how the least of them had survived death, and not just this once.
"Only the strong survive. But I am not strong. I am weak, feeble, and small. Weak doesn't survive. Why am I alive?" He looked up at Bramblethorn, seeking answers he knew she didn't have. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 11:53:33 GMT -5
Bramblethorn couldn't find the words. She tried to, searching, clawing for the right ones, but nothing would come from her mouth. She processed everything Weaselpaw had said. She wasn't usually one to put much thought into what she said, and she certainly didn't know how to respond to someone who obviously did. But then the meaning of Weaselpaw's words hit her, and she internally recoiled. She was not good at this sort of thing. "You shouldn't feel guilty for something you had no control over," she forced out, choosing her phrasing very carefully, uncharacteristic of her, "They would have wanted you to live happily, wouldn't they?" She knew on a poignant level that a great deal of this, if any of it at all, wasn't her business, but she'd approached him, he'd responded, here they were. He was her Clanmate, and on top of that he was an apprentice, although not hers. He deserved solace. Amber |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 20:12:13 GMT -5
 Warrior of LightningClan || 53 Moons || Tom x profile x
"How about instead of hissing in StarClan's face you take it as a personal challenge and make yourself worthy to be chosen to live." Wherever there was someone having an extinensial crisis, there will be Sunblaze to add more fuel to the fire. He wasn't necessarily mean spirited but he was a bit too blunt and had little patience for cats who held pity parties for themselves. "Or perhaps the death of others has no meaning to you, that you don't care enough to make yourself worthwhile to live while they have not." The golden bengal approached, green eyes narrowed and fur bristling in annoyance. He took a stand at Bramblethorn's side but didn't say a word to her, his attention was on the mewling quin before him and not the calm she-cat who had been doing a decent job of assisting Weaslepaw on her own before he showed up to stir trouble. Amber @moons
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 22:48:42 GMT -5
He knew she didn't have answers. He knew, but he still asked the questions, and he still felt disappointment at her silence. His head dropped a little, his gaze falling to the ground. "You shouldn't feel guilty for something you had no control over. They would have wanted you to live happily, wouldn't they?" He looked up at her again. She really didn't know anything, did she?
"I don't feel guilty. And no, they wouldn't have. They would have preferred to live, given the choice." He took a few slow breaths through his nose. He opened his mouth to speak again, but another voice sliced through his silence.
"How about instead of hissing in StarClan's face you take it as a personal challenge and make yourself worthy to be chosen to live." His gold eyes sharpened as he twisted his head violently to meet the newcomer. "Or perhaps the death of others has no meaning to you, that you don't care enough to make yourself worthwhile to live while they have not." Weaselpaw narrowed his eyes, anger giving him the strength to gather his legs beneath him.
Shakily, he rose, angry eyes pinned on Sunblaze. He took a step forward, scrawny form nowhere near as intimidating as the fire sparking in his belly. "Do you think I haven't tried?" His voice was laced with a dangerous hiss, which on any other cat would have been impressive, but just seemed comical on him. "For most of my life, I have been trying. Since the day I was born, no one has had any faith in me. Only my parents, and they are gone. Every day I fight to beat everyone's expectations. I fight, every day, just to survive."
Through his defense, his fur began to fluff out and his breathing grew quick and erratic. Weaselpaw sucked in air through gritted teeth, trying to calm his breathing. A coughing fit now would not help his situation. He stepped forward again, bringing himself up to his full, unimpressive height, nose to nose with Sunblaze. His golden eyes burned with a mix of anger, determination, and defiance. "I am fighting. Every. Single. Day." |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 10:43:14 GMT -5
Bramblethorn was surprised by Sunblaze's arrival, but appreciated the help. He sounded much more sure of himself than she did. When Weaselpaw spoke next, she found herself floored. She once again couldn't find the words to speak for a great long pause. Her blue eyes were wide in surprise. She decided to sit down at the gravity of Weaselpaw's words were absorbed. "I-I...well," let no one say she wasn't honest, "Then I don't see what your problem is, if you are fighting!" Her argumentative personality was beginning to shine through, because seriously, why was Weaselpaw, in her opinion, whining, if he was doing his best to live for the ones who had died? It made no sense to her. She knew that sometimes things went right over her head but she was fairly certain that this was not one of them. The black-pelted apprentice before her was bristling, face-to-face with Sunblaze; partly the reason she'd spoken was to get his attention off the older tom and onto her. She didn't know how Sunblaze would respond, but she knew for a fact that she could handle whatever brunt of Weaselpaw's frustrations he had to give. Amber @honeywisp |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 12:14:28 GMT -5
Senior warrior of LightningClan || 53 Moons || Tom x profile x"Try?" He gave a twisted smile, white whiskers quivering from the sudden pull of muscles that revealed each pointed tooth for all to see. He leaned forward at the apprentice's obvious threatening posture until the tip of his nose just barely brushed against Weaselpaw's. "Well, clearly you aren't trying hard enough if you still feel this way. Fight harder. Try harder. Get kicked down? Don't lay there wailing like a kitten, get back on your paws and claw your way back up." He was picking at an open wound and he knew it, the thing with Sunblaze was that while he acknowledged he was antagonizing the other he did so intentionally and with no care to stop until his point was made.
"If there's one thing I can't stand its an apprentice with their whole life stretched out before them, laying around and feeling sorry for themselves. You want to honor the dead? You're not with this. You're just a tick in the pelt of LightningClan, sucking up all you want and giving nothing back." Sunblaze straightened up his posture, smile twisting into a partial smirk and he closed his eyes, "You want faith, furball? No one is going to believe in you if you're too much of a weakling to believe in yourself." He reached out a paw to sharply try and jab Weaselpaw in the shoulder, egg him on into a fight.
"You'll make a POOR warrior, it's my job to weed out little rejects such as yourself. Unless-" He opened his eyes, the green of hisgaze bright and challenging, "-you can prove me wrong, kitten."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2015 3:12:06 GMT -5
Owlcry
The Goddess of Wisdom, War and Courage
Sometimes the only pay off for having any faith,
Is when it's tested again and again everyday,
I'm still comparing your past to my future,
It might be your wound but they're my sutures,
Eavesdropping wasn't one of the things that she usually did, as she found it rather boring and she didn't think that listening in on other's conversations was a good way to keep the peace with her clanmates, however, the debacle with Weaselpaw had the she-cat's ears pinned to the conversation and her relaxed body hidden in the shadows.
The frail tom in question was only a moon older than the she-cat who had still yet to show herself into the conversation that was occupied by both Bramblethorn and Sunblaze. She had always been quite curious as to what ailed his faith and dropped him in Rookfrost's den to await a slow and dreary death.
While the rest of the clan had seemed to always give up on hoping for the young tom to get better, the silver-gray she-cat figured that in time, and with Weaselpaw to find his own courage, he would find the missing strength he needed to pull himself out of the muck and despair he was currently in.
Wide amber eyes flashed at Sunblaze's words. Wise, he was not, and so, the young she-cat decided to inject herself before things got out of paw. "Bullying those weaker than you is not what a warrior does." Voice came first, cold and sharp, before the long legged she-cat stepped out of the shadows to slowly advance towards the other three cats, in which she kept her eyes trained on Sunblaze.
"Let's hope you learn that before Redstar gives you an apprentice." A sharp sting perhaps, but it was also a wise thought that Owlcry believed their leader should look at when Firebird's kits were ready to be apprenticed. Turning from Sunblaze, her eyes, alit with wisdom far beyond her age, moved to view the frail body of Weaselpaw.
Did she feel sorry for him? No. And no cat should, it would only worsen and delay his recovery. "As Weaselpaw fights for life, we should encourage him. He will see the day where he will grow stronger, and see the day in which he will receive his warrior name." Owlcry continued, pausing her strides to stand near the smaller, black apprentice.
"He is a Lightningclan cat, is he not?" Her words were fierce. As a clan cat, one should not doubt their clanmates, despite weakness, or age. As she finished, she allowed those fierce orbs to roll over to Sunblaze once more, locking eyes with him as she held her ground.
'Cause we could be immortals, immortals
Just not for long, for long,
And live with me forever now,
Pull the blackout curtains down,
Just not for long, for long,
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2015 21:59:57 GMT -5
Weaselpaw twisted his head to Bramblethorn, flashing a glare her way, before Sunblaze spit out his retort. The older tom leaned forward, and Weaselpaw stared him right in the eye as his lips drew back in a snarl. Suddenly, Sunblaze drew himself up, a paw darting out to jab the apprentice in the shoulder. The blow made him stumble, and as he staggered to the side to find his paws, he hissed, fur spiking.
"Unless you can prove me wrong, kitten."
Weaselpaw was on the verge of leaping out when another voice broke through. He didn't bother looking at who had arrived, and instead continued to burn a hole through Sunblaze with his eyes. But as she spoke, she showed that he was on his side, and he tilted his head toward her. "He will see the day where he will grow stronger, and see the day in which he will receive his warrior name." He offered her a small smile of thanks, before turning his gaze back to Sunblaze.
Owlcry stepping in had given Weaselpaw a chance to cool down before he did something stupid. He took a deep breath through his nose. He stepped forward, drawing himself up to his full height. He wasn't much, but his legs were long, and he looked more like a lanky spider than a warrior-aged apprentice, but he placed as much of his pride into his stance as he could. "Have you ever died, Sunblaze?" He fixed the senior warrior with a gaze filled with fire, pride, and determination. "I have faced death, more than once. I promise you, it isn't pretty. I apologise if I am not healing quickly enough for your liking. Nearly dying takes a lot out of you, and being a 'reject', as you say, makes it a lot worse. Forgive me for fighting to make it to tomorrow before I try to earn my warrior name." |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 15:18:29 GMT -5
Bramblethorn blinked at Weaselpaw's glare. She really didn't understand why such a big deal was being made out of all this. If Weaselpaw was going to live to the best of his ability, and he was prepared to chew out warriors like Sunblaze, then why was he, effectively, whining? It made zero sense to her. She listened to Owlcry berate Sunblaze as well and found she was being ignored by everyone now. Under normal circumstances she hated going ignored but she had no choice but to deal with it in this instance. She stood there awkwardly as the angry conversing continued, her tail flicking lightly in mild anxiety at what the outcome might be. She wasn't an anxious cat, then again she'd never been involved in something like this before. Bramblethorn kept her thoughts to herself, a practice she was not accustomed to. She did her best to not just walk off, though she was tempted. She was still a part of this in some manner. Amber @honeywisp @ghostlight |
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