[Fate Admin]

Each breath was labored… she felt like her chest was on fire, and yet she shivered uncontrollably from fever. Ravenstar had not left her den in days. After Boneshadow’s death she had taken to eating less and less until she was no longer eating at all. She did not eat for days, spending most of her time hunting for the Clan and training with Frogpaw. She had developed a cough, but did well enough to downplay it… she was fairly certain it was only whitecough and she was not about to consume the valuable few precious herbs Smokefur had left over a little bout of whitecough. Finally she had collapsed from hunger while out hunting and woke in her den with a concerned, and perhaps a little agitated, Smokefur.

She refused to eat, or take any herbs. She had nine lives to give for her Clan, but all of her Clanmates only had one. Let them eat, this leaf-bare, let them take herbs to keep them healthy and strong… let her give one life so they may continue theirs. If each of her lives could save but one of her Clanmates then so be it. Nine cats with one life caught more prey than one cat with nine lives. She lay curled in nest, wheezing breaths growing weaker, and willed Smokefur not to feel guilty about it. She hoped her little sister knew it was not her fault her leader was losing a life. Ravenstar was giving it willingly in the hopes that it saved at least one of her Clanmates from starvation and sickness. She may have stopped eating in the beginning because of grief, but she had turned it into sacrifice for the good of the Clan.

She hadn’t the strength to even keep her eyes open, barely had the strength to think… all of it was rerouted to work toward breathing. But she did spare a thought for Blackwolf. She had been wondering about naming him deputy… but he was still young. He needed to mature a bit more before she could give him that honor. Perhaps one day… he could make a glorious leader. Her heart ached at the thought. Boneshadow would have made a leader that NightClan would remember for generations…. It was with these thoughts of Boneshadow that her strength failed and all went silent in Ravenstar’s den.

~~~

When she opened her eyes she was crouched amongst pine needles, their strong, sweet smell surrounding her, tall pines reaching for the sky on every side. A warm breeze tousled her long fur and she breathed her first easy breath in a long while. The familiar figure that strode forward made her leap to her paws in joy, but he came to rest his tail on her shoulder for calm, “Peace, old friend. Let your spirit recover.”

She looked up at Boneshadow, and then down at her paws, “I would give all my lives to have you back. I would give them to you, and you could be Bonestar, and I… I would be Ravenfeather again.” She looked up at him hopefully, as if he might take the offer and return to the Clan, alive and as their new leader.

“Unfortunately I can’t do that,” he shook his head slightly, sitting beside her. There was a long pause in which Ravenstar lowered her head slightly, staring at her white forepaws, “I see you have yet to pick a new deputy.”

She bristled, glancing sideways at him and away again, “So what if I haven’t?”

Boneshadow seemed more amused than anything by her sharp tone, “You of all cats should know how it will look to the other Clans.”

She twitched her tail dismissively, “When have I ever cared what the other Clans thought of us? We know what they think of us… what they’ve thought of NightClan since it began as ShadowClan in some far away forest.”

The much larger tom sighed, “Ravenstar… you cannot go on ignoring the Warrior Code so. TreeClan is already angry with NightClan for the trespassing and stealing prey. If they find you have not chosen a new deputy they will think the worst… that NightClan is doing worse than the other Clans, starving so badly their leader cannot even choose a deputy from among the weak candidates.”

She fluffed up her fur, looking not in the least threatening even though that was the whole purpose, and hissed angrily, “We are NOT weak!”

“I know this, Ravenstar… I am only telling you what the other Clans will think. You were never very good at seeing things from their perspective,” he stroked his tail down her spine to calm her anger before he stood.

She tensed, standing as well, “Where are you going?”

He had taken a step forward and paused to look back at her, “It is time for you to return to NightClan, Ravenstar. We have purged the sickness from your body.”

“But…!” She stared at him, willing him not to go, “I… I don’t want to go back without you.”

“You must move forward and stop clinging to the past, Ravenstar. I will walk with you always, but it is time to choose a new deputy for NightClan,” he met her gaze for a long moment and turned away, “Goodbye, old friend. I will see you again soon.”

She opened her mouth to call him back, but closed it again. He was padding away, and as he did, his body became more and more transparent. She watched him and as he was about to disappear she murmured, “Goodbye, Boneshadow.” But she couldn't help but wonder what he meant by seeing her again soon.

~~~

Her eyes blinked open as she took the first breath of her new life. She felt weak… but much better than she had before losing her first life. She felt weak, but not ill. She raised her head weakly to look over to where Smokefur sat, awaiting her return from StarClan. She closed her eyes briefly, savoring those last few moments with Boneshadow. She had not been able to see him, to sit vigil over his body…. Smokefur’s attempt at giving her something to sit vigil over had helped, she had felt a rush of fondness for her little sister for the effort, but it hadn’t been the same. Seeing Boneshadow in StarClan, speaking with him, saying goodbye… it had been the closure she had needed.

She didn’t try to rise, she wasn’t certain she could at the moment. Instead she looked back to Smokefur, her words scratching her throat, sore from coughing, “I’m back, Smokefur…. I’m thirsty… and starving.” She made an effort to groom herself, her fur was looking awfully unkempt and she silently cursed the matts that had formed while she lay dying. It was taking about all of her energy but she was quite determined to get her unruly fur in some sort of order. She paused very briefly, thinking that when she had her strength back in a day or two… she would name her new deputy.