[Abyss]

Dreaming had felt…different. Where in the past she quickly found herself falling into the clutches of darkness and the starry lake she often stood upon with her Starclan guide, this time it was difficult. Taxing, almost. But what brought more confliction than this struggle was what the reasoning for it was. Was she struggling to fall asleep because the bond with Starclan was being reconnected again after a long period of nothingness? Or was she struggling because they could sense what she was feeling? Were they questioning their choice to allow her to take on the role of a full Medicine Cat…or was it the other way around…

It was slow, but finally the ruddy molly drifted into sleep, head lulling to the side as her consciousness faded. When her eyes opened, it too was slow, and she found that she was in darkness. No surface lie beneath her paws, no trees formed around her, and, at that moment, no one else was present. Was this even Starclan, or was this just a regular dream? Had they been wrong in assuming that the cavern of crystals was the right place? She had felt the pull, she heard the whispers. Surely…

"You are here at last."

She recognized that voice, but she did not move, and a part of her stomach sank. It had been moons since she had last spoken with the long-lost Medicine Cat. And, based on all of their previous dreams with one another and all that she knew of the other she-cat, she knew what she would turn to see. But, even more than that, she knew what she wouldn't see. Or, rather, who she wouldn't see. She took a deep breath, steadying herself.

Rustfeather, was she was now named, turned around to find another sitting behind her, a fox-length away. The tall star-coated femme held a very proper and poised position, her head held high and her posture straight. Her bright orange tabby and white pelt glimmered from the shine of an unseen light, groomed in perfect smooth motions with occasional curls. Her tail wrapped delicately around her paws, though the white tip twitched on occasion. And those eyes, those ever watchful and beautiful yet mysterious eyes, stared straight through Rustpaw. And she felt it.

"Hello Farsight." Her voice was calm, collected, but formal. The smaller she-cat slowly turned and sat across from the other, matching her posture as best as she could. Silence passed between them, and though neither spoke, all that the Apprentice could hear was the pounding of her own heart in her chest. The longer the silence extended, the more she felt her stomach roll and her chest tighten. Farsight's icy gaze narrowed.

"When we first met, for many seasons you tried to appear formal, to put on an air of properness. You felt as though you were required to present yourself in a professional way in order to be accepted. But over time you relaxed and became yourself. You spoke to me as a friend, and looked forward to our meetings together." She stopped a moment, examining the younger she-cat's features, and a sharpness formed in her eyes. "It seems as though that is no longer the case."

Rust's body felt tense under Farsight's gaze, but it felt like more than that. Though it was only herself and Farsight here, it felt as though all of the eyes of Starclan were boring down on her. They were watching her, assessing her, judging her. She was silent, voice stuck in her chest and unwilling to rise.

"While I suspect that the long period of silence and disconnect between our planes negatively impacted our bond, I sense that there is more. Your aura is troubled by our rekindled connection rather than relieved. Though I have gained the ability to feel and see these things, I am no mind reader."

Silence. A part of her wanted to cry out, to vent, to rant, to shout, to question. But the other was scared, too afraid to lash out, too afraid to make a choice she could not take back.

"When things have troubled you in the past, you felt comfortable enough to discuss them with me, as you know I am here to guide you in your role. Speak to me, Rustfeather."

The rust-furred she-cat's head began to lower to her chest, and her front paws quivered. Her maw just barely opened and her voice came in a hushed whisper. Farsight's eyes narrowed further. "You must speak up for me to understa-"

"Why did you do it…"

She did not specify, but based on the expression that crossed the ginger tabby's face, specification was not required.

"I presume you mean our only successful attempt at reaching you…" The quiet that passed between them grew tense, and it lasted for quite a while, though Rust could not quite tell how long exactly.

"A wave of guilt washed over all of us that day. And it has remained as such for moons now. It was never our intention, but it was our only option."

"You are Starclan. What do you mean it was your only option…?" Rust's voice was low, and though her head still hung near her chest, there was a small dash of something in her voice that made Farsight's tail lash once.

"Though we hold powers of our own, do not mistake us for gods, Rustfeather. We do not have the ability to do anything that we please however we please. We have limitations."

Rust's head just barely lifted and her eyes found the other she-cat's paws, unable to look further upwards. "You've used clouds, you've used dreams, you've used the sun and the moon, you've used the weather, you've used so many other things that could have worked and shouldn't even need a lot of effort."

"There is only so much that we can do when our connection to the living plane is severed. Those things do not require as much effort when we are still connected. But we did not have that ability. We had to use whatever method we could to rea-"

"So you chose possession?" Rust's eyes lifted, meeting the star-pelted cat's own. Farsight faltered, for the younger she-cat's gaze was unwavering.

"You risk taking an accusatory tone with-"

"You took her from me!" Rust suddenly stood, facing Farsight head on. Her head was raised, as were her hackles and tail, and her eyes were full of something that she had not openly expressed to anyone in a very long time: anger. "We may not have always gotten along, we may not have always been on the same page, we may have been very different, but she was my mentor! She was the reason that I am here! She taught me most of what I know! She was the one who taught me to view Medicine Cats as more than just healers! She also taught me to view Starclan as more than just mythical ghosts up in the sky! Dewfrost was my teacher and you took her from me! From her family! From everyone who cared for her! And for what?! To tell us all something we already knew?! What did Dewfrost truly die for!?"

Rust had never raised her voice like this, nor had she ever actually yelled at someone out of anger. She always kept her negative emotions inside, bottled up. But this time…this was different.

Farsight was quiet, and a flash of sympathy and regret filled her eyes. In all of their times meeting together, on more than one occasion Rust had come to their old meeting place and had spoken to Farsight about Dewfrost. About their differing personalities, about their miscommunications and small fights, about how Rust felt more comfortable when she got to see the other Medicine Cats. Even still…even through all of her conflicting feelings towards her old mentor, one thing had always remained in her chest when it came to Dewfrost: respect.

Neither cat spoke for a long while, and Rustfeather's fur slowly lowered back to normal, her eyes falling towards the ground. When either of them spoke again, it was in a hushed voice.

"She was…lost…for a few moons. Her spirit was unable to reach us, and we could not call to her. But…if it eases your soul…she is here now. She has reached Starclan. She has been reunited with her mentor, and those she cared for most. She found us a moon or so ago…but she remained in your plane. To guide you one final time."

Rust's eyes fell further, finding the ground at her paws, which began to shake. Swanfeather…she was with her mentor again…she always spoke so fondly of her mentor…and they were together again…

"Rustfeather, I have something to ask of you." Amber eyes just barely raised, meeting the older molly's paws. "Though you may not think the same, Starclan has never done anything such as this for the purpose of causing grief, nor have they ever done something out of ill-will towards the clans, Medicine Cat or otherwise. I heavily advise that you remember and follow this, for you hold a connection with them just as Shadowchaser and the others do. As a Medicine Cat should."

Rust's body tensed. Many thoughts raced through her mind, but one stuck out in particular: was this Farsight warning her? Giving her a warning that if she continued to hold a grudge towards Starclan that she would no longer be seen as a Medicine Cat? Or was this an old traditional cat setting aside the faults of those they followed and trying to get her to do the same?

"Rustfeather." She did not move. "Rustfeather, lift your head."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and slowly lifted her head, meeting Farsight's gaze.

"I can see how far you have come. All of your experience and training has paid off, and it is clear, to myself and to others. Shadowchaser recognizes this, and he has given you your full name. You must remember that your ability to heal, your ability to make medicine, your ability to comfort, those things are important, but keeping a strong connection to Starclan is just as important. Physicality is not always everything."

Maybe this was the molly’s way of offering compliments, of offering support. Or maybe it wasn’t. It was hard to tell, especially in the state that the ruddy she-cat found herself in. But she did not speak. She merely lifted her head, meeting Farsight’s eyes.

“I welcome you, Rustfeather, as a full Medicine Cat of the new Mistclan.”

RUSTFEATHER

Mistclan Medicine Cat