[Jos]

CLOUDTAIL .:. SC

The hunting party padded down the stone staircase into the middle of Gorgeclan camp, laden with prey. Hunting had finally picked up as the last of Leafbare faded into the beginning of Newleaf. Mice, voles, birds, and even lizards made up the fresh-kill pile at the heart of Gorgeclan’s bustling camp. The merging of clans had been necessary but it meant that each clan had more mouths to feed overall, and Gorgeclan was bursting with life.



Cloudtail dropped the three mice he was carrying into the fresh-kill pile and took a look around at the home he had helped build. He was proud of the work they had all done. Yes, even the non-Stoneclan cats. Mixing with them had been difficult for Cloudtail, mostly because he had been known to be very hostile towards other clans before the merger. How could he possibly expect to be accepted into this new clan after the way he acted? And yet here he was, intermingling with cats who were from different birth-clans. Hunting with them, sharing tongues, even laughing with them! Some of the former Stoneclan members had almost fallen out of their pelts when they heard him laugh for the first time.



But things were going well for Cloudtail. He missed his brother, Birdstar, terribly but in his heart Cloudtail believed that Birdstar was watching over him. Maybe smugly. Before he died, integrating non-clan cats into the clan had been a big debate between the brothers with Cloudtail digging his paws firmly in the ‘no outsiders allowed’ camp. The Earthquake had been a great equalizer for Cloudtail and during his time with the Tribe he learned to be compassionate and patient with others. This lead him to developing an unexpected relationship with Petalrain.



The white tom had been spending every spare moment with the she-cat and they could often be found laying together in the sun, hunting together, sharing tongues together and just enjoying each-other’s company. He loved Petalrain. He had never loved any cat before like this—Cloudtail was truly changing.



A little bit.



Cloudtail was washing his pelt when the young warrior Squirreltalon bumped into him. The tom was all legs and no brains! Cloudtail stood up angrily, “Watch where you’re going, Squirreltalon!”



The young warrior gave himself a shake, having taken a tumble. “Oh Starclan…I’m so sorry Cloudtail! I just… I saw a bird and I got distracted…” he bowed his head, “I’m sorry!”



Cloudtail snorted. Squirreltalon was so… non-confrontational. What kind of warrior didn’t stand up for himself? But then, he had heart, and was an excellent hunter. Clans needed cats like that. They couldn’t all be like Cloudtail. So the older warrior gave himself a shake, “Oh, nevermind, no harm done I suppose." he meowed gruffly, "Just…watch where you’re going next time. Wouldn’t want to step on a kit or something…” he grumbled, dismissing Squirreltalon with a flick of his bushy white tail. Squirreltalon nodded, perplexed, but bounded off—albeit a bit more cautiously. Cloudtail sighed and settled into a patch of sunlight, letting the warm rays soak through his thick pelt.



Finally. Peace and quiet.

Abyss

[Abyss]

[googlefont="Nunito"]

Leafbare was coming to an end. Everyone could feel it. While it was a relief, it was also a tad stressful. Lots of things were on his mind, and it was hard to keep everything organized. The beginning of Newleaf meant more than just the return of prey and the thaw of snow and water. There were quite a few Apprentices on the verge of becoming Warriors, there were six kits in the Nursery that were nearly ready to become Apprentices already and would need mentors, the prey pile needed stalked, new herbs would be growing. Newleaf was quickly becoming one of the busiest seasons and it was barely even started yet. And all of that was on top of having to make another important choice.

As much as he respected the tom and knew that they worked well together, Whitestar knew that Brackenstride had made his intentions clear: he was willing to remain Deputy temporarily, as he didn’t see the life of a Deputy being a path he wished to follow. This was his choice, and it was a decision that the one-eyed tom valued, even if he had his own opinions on it. He would support Brackenstride in his choice, but it in turn meant that he was going to have to choose a new Deputy.

He had been scanning over many of his clanmates, new and old, young and senior. There were many possibilities, but it was hard to say what he was really looking for. He needed someone who balanced him, but in what way, he wasn’t entirely sure yet. Which was why he had been seeking out the company of the Elders and the other Senior Warriors as much as he could. If anyone was going to have advice on how he should handle it, it would be the older members of the clan, the ones that had seen the most in their lives. And while there were some he talked to quite often, there were others that he didn’t talk to as much as he thought he did.

Whitestar just slightly ducked his head down and exited the Apprentices den, a voice coming to his ears immediately. His head snapped to the side, spotting two figures not too far away. A part of him strained when he saw the other hot-tempered white tom snap, shouting at the opposing tom that had bumped into him. They were complete opposites running into each other, and it did put into perspective just how different cats could be, even when they lived together all the time.

He would have spoken up, would have said something, but he paused. Cloudtail, known for his haughty attitude, had also paused and taken a breath. When he spoke again, his words to Squirreltalon were far more calm than his first outburst, more just a grumpy grumble this time. His one yellow-green eye blinked a few times, watching as the younger Warrior bound away. He peered back at Cloudtail with the smallest smile, seeing him settle down into a patch of sunlight.

His footsteps were slow, for admittedly he was a little bit hesitant. Back when, Whitestar had never really gone out of his way to speak to Cloudtail. He cared for and wanted to protect all of his clanmates, but that didn’t mean that he always had to see eye to eye with them. He never fully avoided anyone, but he didn’t always seek some others out either. It was a balance that he had to shuffle through, especially now that he was at the helm of a clan full of cats with a variety of personalities.

“Hey.” His call wasn’t loud, but enough to catch the other tom’s attention. He hadn’t spent a lot of time with Cloudtail, but after everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but wonder. Everyone had lost something in the earthquake. Some lost family members. Some lost mates. Some lost friends. Others lost their homes. No one had been spared in the eye of nature, not even Starclan. Whitestar had been thankful beyond belief that he had not lost his sister, or any of his Apprentices, or some of his closest friends. But he knew that others had not been so lucky. And one of those cats was Cloudtail.

“How are you holding up?” He took a seat next to the other settled tom, wrapping his tail around his large paws.

735 | Jos | Notes

[Jos]

CLOUDTAIL .:. SC

“Hey.”



Oh Starclan, what now? Cloudtail thought. Can’t a cat enjoy a sunbeam in peace? He cracked open one eye, a sharp remark locked and loaded on the tip of his tongue for the cat rude enough to invade his personal space like this.

But it was his leader, Whitestar, who was addressing him.

Cloudtail swallowed his sharp remark. The other white tom had settled in beside him. Was he meaning to socialize? With him, Cloudtail? They had never had a full conversation before, not that Cloudtail could remember. Really the only full conversations he had with cats in Stoneclan were with his apprentices and occasionally his brother.



“How are you holding up?”

Do I look sad? He wondered. Or maybe his pelt was patchy? Surely Petalrain would have told him if he looked patchy. He gave his chest fur a quick groom, buying himself some time. Whitestar was his leader, he couldn’t lie to his leader and say he was completely fine, because he wasn’t completely fine. Had he ever been? Probably not. He was more fine than he had been in a while. But these were Petalrain conversations, not tom-to-tom conversations.



His discomfort was palpable. “Oh, hi there Whitestar. How am I holding up? Oh, well… fine, I guess. Except for some mousebrained young’un ran into me just now, wasn’t watching his paws. But I set him right.” The warrior plucked at the ground with his claws, “I’ve been on a hunting patrol today but I can go on another one later on if you want…I think I saw a snake earlier. Just one though, it might not be anything to worry about. I have been meaning to mention that I would be happy to mentor another apprentice, if need be. I know we have a lot." Surely Whitestar had a job for him. That must be why he came to chat. Cloudtail was waiting for the paw to drop-- what task was he going to be assigned? He did like tasks of course, but had been looking forward to an afternoon snoozing in the sun. He wasn't a young apprentice anymore, after all. He continued, "It’s good for the clan to have so many, even though it can be frustrating. I don’t know how you do it,” he bowed his head, “Must be stressful. How are you holding up with the new position and all?”

Abyss

[Abyss]

[googlefont="Nunito"]

A touch of surprise seemed to appear on the other white tom’s face. Had he not expected Whitestar to approach him? Then again he had been pretty busy lately, with all of the sickness that was going around and the season beginning to change, on top of everything else. He couldn’t deny, he knew that becoming a Leader was hard work, and he was more than willing to dedicate his life to the task, but so much had already happened and it hadn’t even been a full season since his promotion. Every cat needed a break every once in a while.

He listened to Cloudtail speak, and chuckled a tiny bit at his mention of a “mousebrained young’un”. He had heard a couple times before from the older and wiser members that as you aged you began to show your age, you saw the world in a different light, and it often reflected in how you held yourself, how you spoke, all that you did. And if anybody was making himself sound older than he was, it was Cloudtail.

“You’re making yourself sound like an old man there Cloudtail.” He let out a small laugh and shook his head, his half gaze peering towards where he spotted the same auburn and white tom that he had been talking about in the distance. “Squirreltalon can be a mousebrain sometimes, but I think all of us have those days. He’s a good tom. I just wish he’d save some of that energy for the rest of us.”

He glanced back to Cloudtail as he spoke again, but White’s brows furrowed. He seemed…off. He asked how Cloud was doing, and he claimed that he was fine, but something wasn’t quite right. When he talked it was a tad quicker than he considered normal, and his words jumped between topics multiple times in the course of a minute. He listened quietly, but his thoughts were loud in his head, until finally Cloudtail instead turned and redirected the question, asking himself how he was holding up. Almost a mirror, Whitestar hadn’t really thought that Cloud would ask him that either.

He looked to the side, his eye scanning over the camp and all that they had managed to accomplish as a clan. It was hard to say. “I’m…holding in there. It's definitely a lot to take in, lots to do and think about. But…this is only my first season. I think it will get easier the longer I’m here, though. I hope so, at least.” His sights then turned first towards the Apprentices den and second towards the Nursery, practically expecting all of the clan’s kits to come bursting out of the den at any moment. “You’re right about that; there are definitely a lot of them. It was a surprise I didn’t expect when we first got here, but having lots of Kits and Apprentices is a good thing. Even if they do have enough energy to supply our whole clan and then some.”

He looked back to Cloudtail, returning his expression back to one of mild concern. “You know…if anything is troubling you…you can always talk to me…I know that we haven’t really been that close in the past, but I know that both of us have come a long way since the old clan days.” He glanced away, his gaze falling towards the ground a few lengths away. “Sure, I’m a Leader now, and I never thought that I would be, but…I don’t want to be unapproachable. I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t talk to me because of a new position. I don’t want to support my clanmates as only a Leader. I want to be here for everyone as a friend, someone everyone can come to.” He glanced to the side back at the other white tom. “That means you, too.”

643 | Jos | Notes

[Jos]

[attr="class","round-presto"]

CLOUDTAIL
Gorgeclan Deputy

“Sure, I’m a Leader now, and I never thought that I would be, but…I don’t want to be unapproachable. I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t talk to me because of a new position. I don’t want to support my clanmates as only a Leader. I want to be here for everyone as a friend, someone everyone can come to. That means you too.”


Was Whitestar pitying him?

Indignation flooded Cloudtail at the thought that any warrior would ever pity him. He thought himself a strong, proud warrior that was beyond such things as ‘admitting something was wrong’. How could he ever take himself seriously if he told his leader of all cats what he was truly feeling? The façade Cloudtail had cultivated had taken him years to perfect and, even though he knew the façade wasn’t exactly the healthiest coping mechanism, he liked the option of being able to hide behind the wall of stoicism he had built for himself.



He stared at Whitestar, his claws working the ground nervously. “Well…” he couldn’t lie to his leader. Cloudtail sighed and lowered his voice so only Whitestar could hear, “I…I am sad that Birdstar is dead. He was my only surviving littermate and I do not have a good relationship with the rest of my kin. Before the Earthquake, Birdstar and I—we were re-connecting. Then the Earthquake happened and he’s with Starclan now and I guess I should take comfort in the fact that he is reunited with our sister but I can’t help but feel left behind. He gets to enjoy eternity in paradise with his loved ones and here I remain to pick up the pieces.”

The words seemed to just come out of him, and it felt good to say them out loud. Cloudtail’s tail flicked irritably, “Now we have had to combine the clans into three clans and Stoneclan no longer exists. It’s like I have to re-invent myself and become a new cat just to adapt to all of what has happened. I’m doing my best, but it’s exhausting and most cats don’t want to be around me anyway because of what a tyrant I was as a younger tom. I can thank my parents for that.” He hissed.



Then his expression softened, his shoulders relaxed and his tail quieted. “But I did meet Petalrain. We’re mates now, which I did not ever expect to happen. We’re even talking about kits. Can you imagine? Me as a father? My father was worse than I was and he left a big scar on my life…I hope I don’t do the same. I’m worried I’ll end up just like him, that it’s in our blood to be sour and miserable and unlikeable. Have you ever thought of having kits?”

Made by Riley at THQ!

[newclass=".round-presto .prestobox, .round-presto .prestobox .hiddenstuff"]border-radius:150px 0px 0px 0px;[/newclass]

[Abyss]

[googlefont="Nunito"]

In truth, White wasn’t entirely sure what kind of answer he was expecting from the other tom. He knew that Cloudtail was known for his temper, and more often times than not that trait came along with hestiance when it came to sappy stuff like this. He wasn’t really trying to make this a therapy session, he just wanted to make sure that his clanmates were ok. Even the ones that he felt he didn’t spend enough time with.

When Cloudtail began to speak, Whitestar was less shocked and more relieved. And, honestly, what came from the other’s words was something he understood and could sympathize with. He had tried not to think about it, but it was really hard. Birdstar being gone…it had affected many who were close to him, and even those not so close. The whole of Stoneclan recognized what kind of cat he was, and even with the way events had turned out, he was a loss that hit the hearts of all of them. He had not been a Deputy, he had no Leadership experience prior to Smokestar’s death. And then Leadership was placed in his lap. Despite the suddenness of it, he had taken on the challenge, and though he didn’t have the chance to live a long Leadership as others like Hawkstar and Lionstar, he had done what he could in the time he had. And what he had done…..was proved that Leaders were not different than anyone else. He didn’t gain an ego or use his new power to his advantage. He remained humble, and he never put himself on a pedestal. He slept in the Warriors den rather than the Leaders den, he continued to hunt and patrol and do everything a normal Warrior did and then some. He offered his paw of friendship to everyone, and he was always a cat that the clan could depend on.

Whitestar’s respect for the gray tom…it was immeasurable. And though White’s personal situation had not been quite the same as Bird’s, he still found himself relating to what Birdstar probably felt that day. But he had overcome it. That was why, of all cats, White found himself hoping to lead with Birdstar’s example. He continued to listen to Cloud’s words, remaining silent until after he had spoken of all the changes the clans were going through.

“...he was an amazing cat…Birdstar. He touched the lives of many, and he never faltered, even when things were thrown at him without warning. When…when he became Leader, everybody knew it was sudden, even him. He had no experience in that sort of thing, and he wasn’t the aggressive or hard-headed sort, like I’m sure some of our clanmates back then wished for. He was his own cat, and he led in his own way. Becoming the new Leader was a challenge, and he faced so many more after that, but he persevered. He was strong in so many ways…” He paused, looking over to Cloud with a smile. “I think that’s something you two have in common.”

He was, admittedly, a tad surprised when suddenly the other tom revealed that he had a mate now. He recalled seeing Cloud and Petal together on occasion, but he had never pried to see what it was about. And now he knew. And he couldn’t help but let a small smile cross his features. He was even more surprised when Cloudtail mentioned kits. His wide eye blinked a few times, unsure how to fully respond to the news. He wanted to say something, to congratulate them, but Cloud kept talking, so he kept his mouth shut for now. He waited until the other was done, though, his skin grew red beneath his cheek fur at the mention of himself and kits. He turned his head away, shaking it just slightly to get the mild embarrassment to go away.

“Congratulations for you and Petalrain, first of all. It’s always great to see cats who find someone they care for. And kits…wow…we could add even more to the ever-growing pile we seem to have, ” he laughed, shaking his head. He let his expression somber a bit. “But…I mean…if it’s worth anything, coming from me…I don’t think you are unlikeable. Yeah, you can be sour at times. But just like with being mousebrained, everybody has their days. And…no matter how you were raised…I don’t think you would be a bad father. I know you would care for them, and you would raise them to the best of your ability. That’s all any parent can do, really. It…isn’t as easy for some…nor do all care as much…but of all cats, I know that you would not be that way.”

He tried to focus on Cloud and his situation, but he knew he couldn’t just completely avoid the last question asked of him. His first thought flashed to his sister who was out on patrol. But then…for just a moment…his mind flashed to someone else. He shook his head again, clearing his throat. “I-I mean, I-I’ve thought about it. Lakegaze is always teasing me telling me that she wants to be an aunt and that I should hurry up and have a family. And she is always saying that she thinks I’d be a good father. I just…I don’t know. Having kits would be great. I just never really felt a connection like that to anyone before, until…” He closed his mouth, stopping himself from going further. He knew what he may have said if he kept going, but he was still so unsure. He knew something was there, something he couldn’t deny, for a certain someone, but…if she didn’t feel the same…

950 | Jos | Notes