Post by Abyss on Nov 16, 2021 23:50:36 GMT -5
There was something so deafening about the silence of the darkness, something that only made what you felt in it so much more intense. Feelings of anger, but also feelings of being lost. Things that, anymore, she found herself all too familiar with. Fiery orange orbs glared daggers through the empty air, long claws digging so hard into the stone beneath her paws she didn’t know which would break first. The air was thick with the sound of breathing, the silhouettes of many bodies slowly rising and falling around her. Perhaps the warmth of being surrounded by clanmates may have been comforting as a kit, but now it was just unsettling, especially with a pelt pushed against her own.
Narrowed eyes glanced to the side, thin pupils running slowly over the faint dark stripes that just barely stood out in the dark next to her. She could feel the slight push and pull-away of the tom’s breathing against her ribs, his back pressed against her. Had this been anyone else, she would have raked her claws down their spine. Driftshade was lucky. But, in the end, the contact was still no less infuriating.
Careful to move herself to the side and away from his touch, the red Warrioress rose to her paws, stepping over tails and sprawling legs as she walked forward. As the cool night air hit her face, Foxfire took a deep breath, her paws still carrying her forward away from the cave. With a slight tingle as the breeze brushed across what remained of her right ear, her gaze found its way ahead of her. She did not go far, as much as she wished too; her paws only took her a small walk away, but still within sight of the cave, before her legs bent beneath her.
As her body bent into a sit, she cursed under her breath. She could feel the slightest brush of her own fur against her leg. The short and soft fur that covered her stomach.
She could feel the rage burning deep in her chest, even after all this time, the sort of rage that felt as though it would last a lifetime. Her claws once more dug into the earth beneath her and her fangs clenched in her jaws. Soon it would be impossible. She had done all that she could to keep this to herself, but sooner or later she wouldn’t be able to hide it. She was barely eating anything, she had hardly left the cave since they arrived, and that was all just to top off the fact that she was starting to get bigger. There was only so much a single cat could grow before “being fat” wouldn’t be an acceptable excuse. Not that she would ever call herself fat, no, she was in perfect shape. Or at least she was…before all this.
“What the hell was I thinking...” Her gaze fell to the ground, a low growl rumbling from her throat. If there was one thing for sure, all of this nonsense had caused too much emotional change, far too much for her to be ok with. She couldn’t count how many times her mind had fluctuated between accepting the decision she had made, and absolutely despising herself for it. She did it for her own sake, she was convinced. She did it for the sake of her family, she was tricked into it. She did it to follow her own agenda, she was lied to. So many possibilities, all of which were likely true at the same time. He said it would be to create the next best generation of cats, but did she even truly care about the potential of future clan cats? He said that this would be the beginning of the end of what was left of Lionstar, but would that ever truly work?
Sometimes, perhaps only once or twice, Foxfire felt herself almost wanting to meet whatever grew within her. If not for the sake of being their creator, then just for curiosity. She would never call this maternal instinct, nor would she ever claim that she was a mother who….not even who, just a mother. She would never be heard calling herself a mother. Nor would she ever been seen as a cat who sought out whatever sort of dysfunctional family this would become, if a family at all. But in moments like these, when it became increasingly obvious that she was stuck, she tried to send her thoughts elsewhere.
Her gaze rose, peering into the darkness in the general direction that the clan had retreated from the second time. Demon’s den. That’s where that fool had led them at first. She couldn’t quite remember the run there, only that it was tiring. She did remember the trek to the tribe, though. Being steered with the group by the annoyance who slept back in the cave. Seeing and hearing the panic around her. Just briefly spotting a familiar red pelt in the distance, one she wouldn’t see again after that one time…
Her mother’s face flashed in her mind for only a brief second before her ears, or ear rather, perked. Her head just barely turned, glaring gaze finding its way behind her to the sound of pawsteps coming near. She couldn’t quite tell who it was in the dark, but she knew it was not Driftshade; he would have made some offhand comment by now if it was him.
Narrowed eyes glanced to the side, thin pupils running slowly over the faint dark stripes that just barely stood out in the dark next to her. She could feel the slight push and pull-away of the tom’s breathing against her ribs, his back pressed against her. Had this been anyone else, she would have raked her claws down their spine. Driftshade was lucky. But, in the end, the contact was still no less infuriating.
Careful to move herself to the side and away from his touch, the red Warrioress rose to her paws, stepping over tails and sprawling legs as she walked forward. As the cool night air hit her face, Foxfire took a deep breath, her paws still carrying her forward away from the cave. With a slight tingle as the breeze brushed across what remained of her right ear, her gaze found its way ahead of her. She did not go far, as much as she wished too; her paws only took her a small walk away, but still within sight of the cave, before her legs bent beneath her.
As her body bent into a sit, she cursed under her breath. She could feel the slightest brush of her own fur against her leg. The short and soft fur that covered her stomach.
She could feel the rage burning deep in her chest, even after all this time, the sort of rage that felt as though it would last a lifetime. Her claws once more dug into the earth beneath her and her fangs clenched in her jaws. Soon it would be impossible. She had done all that she could to keep this to herself, but sooner or later she wouldn’t be able to hide it. She was barely eating anything, she had hardly left the cave since they arrived, and that was all just to top off the fact that she was starting to get bigger. There was only so much a single cat could grow before “being fat” wouldn’t be an acceptable excuse. Not that she would ever call herself fat, no, she was in perfect shape. Or at least she was…before all this.
“What the hell was I thinking...” Her gaze fell to the ground, a low growl rumbling from her throat. If there was one thing for sure, all of this nonsense had caused too much emotional change, far too much for her to be ok with. She couldn’t count how many times her mind had fluctuated between accepting the decision she had made, and absolutely despising herself for it. She did it for her own sake, she was convinced. She did it for the sake of her family, she was tricked into it. She did it to follow her own agenda, she was lied to. So many possibilities, all of which were likely true at the same time. He said it would be to create the next best generation of cats, but did she even truly care about the potential of future clan cats? He said that this would be the beginning of the end of what was left of Lionstar, but would that ever truly work?
Sometimes, perhaps only once or twice, Foxfire felt herself almost wanting to meet whatever grew within her. If not for the sake of being their creator, then just for curiosity. She would never call this maternal instinct, nor would she ever claim that she was a mother who….not even who, just a mother. She would never be heard calling herself a mother. Nor would she ever been seen as a cat who sought out whatever sort of dysfunctional family this would become, if a family at all. But in moments like these, when it became increasingly obvious that she was stuck, she tried to send her thoughts elsewhere.
Her gaze rose, peering into the darkness in the general direction that the clan had retreated from the second time. Demon’s den. That’s where that fool had led them at first. She couldn’t quite remember the run there, only that it was tiring. She did remember the trek to the tribe, though. Being steered with the group by the annoyance who slept back in the cave. Seeing and hearing the panic around her. Just briefly spotting a familiar red pelt in the distance, one she wouldn’t see again after that one time…
Her mother’s face flashed in her mind for only a brief second before her ears, or ear rather, perked. Her head just barely turned, glaring gaze finding its way behind her to the sound of pawsteps coming near. She couldn’t quite tell who it was in the dark, but she knew it was not Driftshade; he would have made some offhand comment by now if it was him.
TAGS @ide
WORDS 913
OOC Notes
WORDS 913
OOC Notes
