[Deleted]

place your head on my beating heart
we found love right where we are

The gentle burble of the water lapping at the banks, the simple rustle of the wind through the leaves, and the quiet stirrings of prey in the bushes called to the she-cat. The noises around her were fillers; she didn't think about anything else. Just the water, the leaves, and the creatures. She didn't want to think about anything else. Anyone else. It was just too painful. Her own brother--!

Stop it.

So she focused on the way the water moved. Amber eyes traced the ridge of each miniature wave as it crashed onto the sandy banks. The water moved in a beautiful dance. In and out, in and out, it came to the shore, went back out to the center of the brook, and crashed in again. It was happy, almost, peaceful. And then a grey paw darted out and disrupted the waters, changing their course and destroying the routine it had, just like a grey cat--!

Stop it.

She tried the trees instead. Sunlight filtered down, and she settled in a place where the rays slanted at just the right angle through the trees, enveloping her in a halo of light. Grey fur soaked up the warmth, using it to revitalize her spirit as best she could. This forest felt better than the waters. Here, she could see the small mouse scurry for seeds as the bird chirped in its nest and the squirrel climbed the tree. Each little creature had a home it could return to. It searched for food and caught its meal, then brought it home to family to share, or stored it for future use.

How is it that they prey I hunt feels more at home here than I do?

Willowfur finally thought the question that plagued her. Ever since Gre-- no, her bro-- no, that monster attempted to help her join the ranks of StarClan, she had wandered. As Willow, as a loner, she felt nothing. She had no home, called herself by the only thing she could remember. And then, she came home. "Home", according to that monster. How could home be the same place where a monster resided? But now, Lionstar had removed the monster from her presence. She still didn't feel safe. How could she? This was not home.

The brook called to her. It sang a melody that haunted her dreams. Something poked at the back of her mind, some faint memory, some event that had happened on these very banks. This brook was the source of water for TreeClan -- their source of life. Perhaps here, staring into its clear depths and listening to its quiet song, Willowfur could find the meaning of home.

willowfur ♦ warrior ♦ treeclan
Fawn: lionstar ♦ tagged
454 ♦ wordcount
SHE IS HERE. IT IS DONE BUT IT HAS BEGUN! ♦ notes
thinking out loud ♦ lyrics

[Fawn]

Lionstar

48 Moons || Tom || TreeClan

---

        Time had been no friend of his, lately. The duties of a leader were varied and sometimes lengthy; dealing with the misbehavior of Adderstrike and Blackfire and Zephyrfang had been bothersome, but he hadn't the chance to dwell too heavily on their transgressions. There was an apprentice that needed training, and a dark omen looming over his head every time he had a moment to stop and think. It was no wonder that the great golden leader found himself wandering along the banks of the Sparkling Brook - making time, rather than wait around for some breathing room to just appear before him. The Owl Kills, But the Lion Conquers. A Storm Is Brewing. A Storm Is Coming. A Storm Will End It All. The ominous prophecy of Littletimber still echoed inside his skull with each drop of his pawstep, the sunlight scattered through the thick foliage overhead, casting small shadows along the brook bank, flashes of his golden pelt reflecting back at him from the crystal clear water.

How, after all this time, could he not find himself rid of the gray menace? It was as if that tom's claws had hooked themselves upon Lionstar's life and refused to let go, slowly poisoning the Clan to the point that StarClan had to deliver a message of warning. It felt as if it had come too late, in his opinion. Grayowl had already attempted to commit a crime so atrocious, Lionstar had almost done away with everything he knew of the warrior code, his sense of righteousness to lash out at the one cat who wished to do Willowfur harm. Every beat of his heart was a roar of conviction, that he would protect her from her heinous brother, protect her from everything that dared take her from him and the Clan again. He couldn't lose her a second time. He couldn't take it.

Amber eyes lifted from the grass and root under paw, to settle on the beautiful gray and white she-cat, blinking in surprise as if StarClan had pulled her from his memory and placed her here in front of him. Willowfur. An ache settled in the lion's chest, both for himself and for her; her lost memories could have only been frightening for her, not knowing who she was, not knowing where she belonged. What also was a heavy truth to accept, was that she did not remember him; it felt impossible, when she was so firmly carved into his life and the driving force behind much of his actions in his youth. She had made him a better cat, whether she'd realized this or not; though he had yet to realize how deep an impact she had had on him, Willowfur's existence, her goodness had encouraged him to embrace his own.

Gone was the arrogant cat she didn't remember him to be.

A part of him should've been grateful for that, perhaps. That she wouldn't remember his embarrassing ego and his even more ridiculous attempts at getting her attention in any way the young, reckless Lionpaw could think of. Lionstar smiled at her, walking forward on distinctively over-sized paws to greet her in a voice that felt calm, despite the whirl of emotions and withheld affections churning around inside of him.
"Hello Willowfur. How are you feeling?" Terrible, considering the circumstances, but he hoped she could find some solace in her birth Clan, find some reassurance in knowing that she would be safe, here.

He would not lose her again.

---

Word Count: 583 Words
Tags @lacihparg
Notes: !!!!!!!! <3

[Deleted]

place your head on my beating heart
we found love right where we are

"Hello Willowfur. How are you feeling?"

Amber eyes tore their gaze from the scrambles of prey to the large-footed, sure-stepped leader of TreeClan as he emerged from the trees. She stood, bowing her head in greeting.

"I am doing fine, Lionstar," she mewed quietly. "Thank you for asking." Guarded courtesy seemed the safest action here. Willowfur was still now sure how she felt about the yellow-furred leader. He had welcomed her back with very opening paws, and she had seen the resentment flicker in his eyes when that monster inserted himself back into her life, but she couldn't understand exactly why the resentment was there or what had caused it. Was it part of one of the many memories lost to her? Or was it a situation so beyond her grasp that she dared not try to understand?

Sleeping in the warriors den, Willowfur noticed many things and heard many things that got her scraps of information. Many cats talked about last greenleaf's fire and how they were grateful for StarClan's protection during new-leaf and hoped for it again now. Others talked about StoneClan's return or the disputes between RainClan and NightClan -- the usual Clan gossip that permeated the dens of every Clan. Instead of participating, Willowfur chose to listen; to see what she could glean and see what holes she could fill in with the gossip shared.

Except the gossip couldn't remind her of her kithood. The gossip wouldn't replace her apprenticeship. It couldn't allow her to remember the excitement of an apprentice ceremony, the accomplishment of a warrior ceremony, the moments with Lionpaw and the way she lived things before the gap appeared. Instead, they caught her up on things that yes, while she supposed they mattered, they didn't matter much to her.

Willowfur wasn't too concerned about the going-ons of the Clans right now. She still felt like a rogue who was trespassing on TreeClan's territory or like a loner, passing through briefly. There were so many questions she had; so many things bouncing through her head, and yet, so many things she also couldn't ask. Will I ever remember? Can I ever remember?

"What brings you here to the brook?" She finally settled on this question, a safe question, a question of polite social responses and proper Clanmate chitchat. It wouldn't do to seem too out of place or to make things more awkward around Lionstar. What's more, he was (apparently) her leader, and that position in of itself deserved her respect. It took a lot of skill to lead this many cats and deal with as many problems as he had. Willowfur was sure he lead with justice and fairness, and she was thankful that he had allowed her to come back, but Lionstar was essentially a stranger to her.

Whether or not he felt the same about her, well, that had yet to be seen.

willowfur ♦ warrior ♦ treeclan
fawn: lionstar ♦ tagged
490 ♦ wordcount
i love them so much already~ ♦ notes
thinking out loud ♦ lyrics

[Fawn]

Lionstar

48 Moons || Tom || TreeClan

---

        Again with the politesse. It was a painful necessity, having to treat each other like they hadn't been friends prior to the incident with Grayowl; he would always be friendly towards her, but the lack of recognition in her eyes whenever she saw him was like a splash of cold water to the face, and he would have to reel it back in so that he didn't seem overzealous or a little too friendly. It would never be his intention to make her uncomfortable around him, it was his personal, heartfelt aspiration that they could become close again; for what felt like ages, he had walked through life with this hole in his heart, an empty space she used to fill. He had ignored this perpetually empty space for moons, and suddenly having her here, so close and yet very very far was an aching reminder in his chest that he even had that emptiness at all.

It went without saying, however, that he would be the quiet, unassuming voice of reason and hopefully a guiding light for the gray and white she-cat, something to see in the fog and realize she's not as lost as she might've thought.

Her question provokes a smile out of him, Lionstar realizing with an inward jolt that here had been the very spot he'd been waiting to meet her, the day she'd disappeared and was announced dead by her insidious brother. "The Sparkling Brook clears my head, I come here when the job gets to be... too much." With the exception of the NightClan border harassment, and the impending harm that would befall his Clan on account of a despicable exile they both knew very well, he wasn't going out of his mind yet. Bluepaw's training was going well, though a slight hitch in her battle training had sent him back to brainstorming ways to get the apprentice more involved in learning how to defend herself... A myriad of other things were happening in the young leader's life that he was taking a temporary respite from, and it wasn't his plan to burden her with topics she might find boring, knowing all too well that he couldn't quite confide in her like he did Stormchaser, Sixtoes and Thornstrike.

"Okay," he mewed, wearing a side smile reserved solely for her (whether he knew it or not), golden form drawing to a stop beside her as he sat, gazing into the crystal clear waters he had always considered so peaceful. "Your turn. What's your reason for coming here?" Her answer would undoubtedly be the more interesting one - more interesting to him, at least. Can you remember anything from your old life? That was the question hovering on the tip of his tongue, but suspecting it would cause her more stress than she was already likely coping with, so he settled for mundane chatter as long as he could stand it.

---

Word Count: 476 Words
Tags: @lacihparg

[Deleted]

place your head on my beating heart
we found love right where we are

"The Sparkling Brook clears my head, I come here when the job gets to be... too much."

A grey head dipped slightly again, taking the information in stride. Leader must be a difficult job, she mused. How much of Clan life do I just not remember? It was easy for her to get back into a rhythm of catching prey for others and patrolling the borders (even though they rarely allowed her to do that), but the minute details that kits learned just from watching... Those were more difficult to understand. Almost every cat she saw had someone to groom and eat with especially during sunhigh. Willowfur preferred to eat in the shadow of the warriors' den, where her grey fur blended in and made her less noticeable. Sometimes she would feel the amber eyes of Lionstar watching her, but she ignored their weight and ate in silence, still not adapted to TreeClan life.

Other things, like the ceremonies and the positions confused her. Senior warriors made up some elite circle, the deputy gave orders, and Lionstar spoke fancy words for coming-of-age ceremonies. They had a medicine cat (his name had something to do with trees, that much she knew) who was off-putting but an apprentice who was bright and bubbly. How they got paired together, only StarClan knows, she thought.

Willowfur could ramble on and on about the things she found confusing. She almost wanted to ask Lionstar about everything; ask him to help her remember her kithood and her apprenticeship so she could understand and fit in and not have to eat in the shadows anymore. But he was her leader, not her counselor. He was her leader, not her friend. He didn't exist to walk beside her (or any cat, for that matter) and tell them exactly where to place her paws. He was more concerned with the big picture.

The life of a loner wasn't worth much to a Clan cat. Or so she told herself.

"Okay. Your turn. What's your reason for coming here?"

She looked up at him, then, seeing a small smile on his face. She tore gold from amber and looked down at the stream, listening to its song. "It sings to me," she finally mewed. "This place is still so unfamiliar to me. But water doesn't change." She touched a paw to the surface of the brook. "It ripples when something disturbs it, yes, but water is water is water." She turned to him, looking beyond him and back into her memories.

"When the loners found me, they gave me water in a ball of moss until I was able to walk on my own again. There was a little stream, much like this one, shallow enough where I could wade in the water and lose myself in its music." Willowfur closed her eyes and swiveled her ears towards the water, listening. "It's one of the only things I remember."

With that, she had inadvertently answered Lionstar's unasked question. No, she doesn't remember anything from her old life. But that didn't mean that she was unwilling to try.

willowfur ♦ warrior ♦ treeclan
fawn: lionstar ♦ tagged
525 ♦ wordcount
museless ♦ notes
thinking out loud ♦ lyrics

[Fawn]

Lionstar

48 Moons || Tom || TreeClan

---

        Lionstar's assumptions had been correct; her reason for being here seemed much more significant than his, it was a small glimpse into her life shortly after Grayowl's treachery. He felt his stomach tie itself into knots, tangled up with stomach acid, picturing behind a flash of somber eyes the bleeding and broken Willowfur, being fed moss soaked in water by a kindly loner, barely holding on. It seemed that he could stand the mundane chatter even less than he'd originally anticipated, for the golden tom had turned his gaze upon her, expression gentling despite the internal storm, and he confessed. "You were actually supposed to meet me here, the day you 'disappeared'," Though it was spoken with a smile, a note of bitterness crept into his tone over the word 'disappeared' and there was nothing he could do about it. He wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, his slight directional change in the conversation was born from a theory that maybe, just maybe if he recounted some of their last memories together, she would begin to remember him as more than just 'TreeClan's leader', which wasn't even a remembered thing at all. It was recent knowledge, to Willowfur.

"I waited until the sun went down, and I thought you'd stood me up." He was hinting a little more at the nature of their previous relationship than he wanted to, but it wasn't like him to abruptly change the conversation - he'd been careful not to let her know too much of his feelings, and it was Lionstar's reasoning that she didn't know if those feelings were current or not. He wouldn't burden her with the additional stress of thinking she had to return his affections; if he had to play dumb, had to pretend as though their relationship had been reduced to friendly cinders, not that he was still carrying a torch for her, for their fledgling romantic flame it had been before her accident, then he would. Lionstar smiled again, maintaining that air of companionable humor; he didn't want the mood to stay serious. That's all their talks ever were, lately. Serious and overshadowed by the black acts of a black-hearted cat no longer within TreeClan's borders.

"I still wish that's all it had been. I'm glad you've come back, Willowfur, if there's anything I can do to help you remember or make you more comfortable here - you can let me know." He tried not to concentrate on the warm wildflower scent that rose up from her cinder-gray and white fur, finding it difficult even with the distance between them. "We were friends once, I like to think that we can be friends again." I'm someone you can trust, I promise you. He was incapable of the treachery that her brother so deeply reveled in, he was incapable of intentionally causing her pain; her opinion had once been one that mattered the world to him, and even after so many moons had passed and he had mourned her so deeply, Willowfur had still been placed upon a pedestal. His heart still beat at the sound of her name, whispered as it had been every now and again by those who had missed her.

---

Word Count: 429 Words
Tags: @lacihparg

[Deleted]

place your head on my beating heart
we found love right where we are

His revelation turned her head, yellow eyes meeting amber as she processed what he was saying. I stood him up? Was that truly how she had felt about this tom, once, long ago, in a life she had no memory of? The note of bitterness in his voice irked her as well, sensing some deep anger towards the whole situation. Could Lionstar not see that she felt even more robbed by the fates? The golden tom in front of her, after all, still had all of his memories, while she had none.

It was like she entered TreeClan as a kit again, learning everything about the Clans and their way of life from the start. Willowfur was brand new. She knew how to hunt and she understood marking the border, but the details of that escaped her. She didn't have anyone to share tongues with at sunhigh. There was no one to curl up with her in the warriors' den during the stinging cold months of leafbare.

"If there's anything I can do to help you remember or make you more comfortable here - you can let me know."

She nodded, then, happy with that admission. Willowfur wanted to remember so bad, so desperately bad that she chased her memories in dreams and ran around TreeClan territory in her waking moments, searching for that one place that would cause everything to rush back and crash into her skull, filling the void that kept her mind empty.

"We were friends once, I like to think that we can be friends again."

"We were?" The question slipped her mouth before she could stop it. Turning her face away to hide the crimson blush, Willowfur stared out at the waters of the stream. "Being a leader is such a huge responsibility," she continued, trying to recover the conversation. "I can't imagine you have time to engage in idle conversations." She esteemed Lionstar, somewhere in the back of her mind. His ability to lead the Clan, the rumors she'd heard about how he saved TreeClan from that devastating fire... It took a cat of strong mind and deep strength to save that many cats from such a stressful situation.

"There are so many semantics of Clan life that escape me." Another confession slipped past the warrior's filter, words tumbling into the air to be snatched up by the leader sitting a few mouse lengths away from her. "Will you really help me? Do you really have time to help just one cat remember, when you have so many other warriors who know their duties?" I don't feel like I'm worth it, she continued silently. I want to believe, to help, to contribute to TreeClan but I don't know how. Yellow eyes implored Lionstar, adding the desperation to her plea. The old Willowfur was locked away inside her head, somewhere buried deep, and she needed help to rescue her own history from the chains of her mind.

willowfur ♦ warrior ♦ treeclan
fawn: lionstar ♦ tagged
501 ♦ wordcount
the wall is breaking down ♦ notes
thinking out loud ♦ lyrics

[Fawn]

Lionstar

48 Moons || Tom || TreeClan

---

        "Will you really help me? Do you really have time to help just one cat remember, when you have so many other warriors who know their duties?"

He answered without hesitation. "Yes, of course I will." It took the golden tom a small, unseen effort to bite back any further chivalrous declarations, instead, the next time Lionstar opened his mouth, it was to justify his convictions towards helping the cat he loved. "This is a Clan, not just an honorless band of rogues. We take care of one another, we trust one another, we help our Clanmates when they need it. You may feel as though you're in this alone, but that's not true." You have me. Chimed that voice in the back of his head, eager to roar his proud stance on the matter - though it would only frighten her away, even he could see that. The last thing possible that would be beneficial to the amnesiac would be a love-struck leader still carrying a torch for her; and you have Stormchaser, Sixtoes, Adderstrike and Gentlebreeze, he mentally added, perhaps to convince himself that he wasn't trying to be her knight in shining armor, but a good friend and a benevolent leader.

As much as the unbiased voice of reason inside his head would like to complain, he really could afford to give Willowfur a little extra time than the rest; she had said it herself, there were warriors who knew their duties; he trusted them to look after their apprentices, to see to it that they followed the Code as was the norm. Zephyrfang was currently being watched closely by Thornstrike, and both Adderstrike and Blackfire now had the privilege to get to know the elders better by cleaning out their bedding. Unless some unforeseen difficulty sprang up that monopolized his attention, Lionstar was confident he could be a system of support for their long lost Clanmate; besides, said the voice of reason, with HIM skulking about, you should stay close to her. Actually, now that he's thinking about it, Willowfur should have some sort of guard with her at all times; logically speaking, that guard couldn't be him (even if he did have lives to spare). His duty was to the Clan, not shadowing her and protecting her at every sign of danger, no matter how much he wanted to take on the role himself.

[Deleted]

place your head on my beating heart
we found love right where we are

She bowed her head, embarrassed by his declaration. She still couldn't understand why they would focus so much on her. It made sense, she supposed, that they would help one of their own. But she didn't feel like one of their own. And she so wanted to let it all out to Lionstar. To tell him her doubts and fears, how alone she felt in the middle of her Clan...

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Was she like this before? So uncertain and shy? Scared to ask for anything, afraid that one wrong move would offend the cats who raised her. Could she ever be the same cat again? Her past self was ripped right of her paws when she was attacked. She couldn't repress a shudder at that thought. She even had nightmares, stalked in her dreams by some bird made of ash, covering her in grey as she ran away from its path.

"What was I like before?" she asked, forgetting the time. "I think I'm so different today. All I see around me are eyes filled with pity. They try to treat me normally, but it's difficult." Willowfur turned to look at her leader, a sad glint in her eyes. "It won't ever be like it was, will it?"

willowfur ♦ warrior ♦ treeclan
fawn: lionstar ♦ tagged
217 ♦ wordcount
feels ♦ notes
thinking out loud ♦ lyrics

t h o r n s t r i k e
senior warrior, treeclan

Finally! Thornstrike had been running practically all over TreeClan territory (after making sure Zephyrfang was firmly entrenched in camp), searching high and low for the last warrior he needed to complete his patrol. Thunderclaw had asked him to take out a hunting patrol with Willowfur, but he was allowed to pick the other two members on the patrol. So, he had asked Adderstrike and Sprucefur to meet him by the Great Maple so they could spread out and hunt. First, though, he needed to find the last part of his patrol.

Following a faint scent trail to the brook, the senior warrior finally found the she-cat he was looking for. He could have sworn Thunderclaw told his Clanmate what she was needed for, but it was no matter. Greeleaf was full and prey were running, no matter the time of day.

"Willowfur!" he exclaimed, happy to see her. "Did you remember our hunting patrol?" He then noticed Lionstar and bowed his head in respect. "Hello, Lionstar," he greeted, totally unaware of what he had interrupted. "If you'll excuse us, Thunderclaw had asked me to take Sprucefur, Adderstrike, and Willowfur on a hunting patrol." He bowed and stood, waiting for the grey and white she-cat to follow him.

There were mouths to feed!

you will never be alone again
love will make it all right

fawn: lionstar :tags
217 :words
interruptions~ :notes

[Fawn]

Lionstar

48 Moons || Tom || TreeClan

---

        "What was I like before?"

"You were kind," mewed Lionstar truthfully. "You were confident, and popular, and above all things, happy." He didn't like the look of hopelessness Willowfur was wearing, or the fact that she was holding on to such negative thoughts - that things would never return to a sense of normalcy. Well it was impossible to think they could simply pick up where they left off, even he could realize this, despite holding onto a bit of a vain hope that she would simply bounce back to the she-cat she'd once been all those moons ago. Either way, whether her memories returned to her or not, Lionstar had committed himself to the long haul; she would always have him as a shoulder to lean on if she needed it, he couldn't tell her this enough. About to open his mouth and be that strong voice of positive reasoning and encouragement, the untimely arrival of Thornstrike had the golden tom snapping his jaws shut, resisting the urge to scowl at the warrior. He was interrupting his rare moment of alone time with Willowfur! And for what? Oh... a patrol.

"Not at all," he lied. Of course he minded. He minded more then he should've minded, but that was love for you. "I'll see you later, Willowfur." The words spoken to the gray and white she-cat were gentle, reassuring even. He would see her later, he would make time for them to continue these little talks; he was hoping that the more time spent around one another with a familiar face, would help unlock those hidden memories of hers. There wasn't a day that went by where he didn't curse Grayowl's existence, though as of right there was one more cat he was feeling a tiny bit of resentment towards - which he hastily shoved aside. It wasn't Thornstrike's fault, or even Thunderclaw's. Clan life would continue on as usual, it wouldn't stop just so Lionstar could mend a friendship previously thought lost. He'd have to content himself with hunting, and seeing to the Clan's needs once he made it back to camp...