[Fawn]

LIONSTAR

leader of treeclan

Blinded by the light of a new sun

It had been three days since Bluejay had returned from the Moon Tree, bearing the news Lionstar had been most anxious to hear. It had been difficult, watching the gray healer walk away knowing well enough of StarClan that they might choose now to be particularly enigmatic, or worse, that they had no answers for him. With no reassurances that their ancestors would guide him towards the right cat, Lionstar had thrown himself into mentoring Firepaw, using her enthusiasm and her fiery spirit to distract him from the problems of leadership.

He felt like a regular warrior fulfilling a regular duty, when it was just him, Firepaw, the forest, and all her potential to be a mighty warrioress in her own right. It had worked, for a while, and he had enjoyed seeing how Firepaw embraced his challenge with the feathers—she certainly had more than her fair share of spunk, Lionstar had learned that by many many examples—but it wasn't until Bluejay approached him, the excitement in her eyes, that he knew the Clan was going to be alright.

Gorsetail. TreeClan's new deputy will be Gorsetail. The weight had lifted from his shoulders like a broken branch that had been laid across his back, a dead, useless weight he'd been forced to carry since the dream about Meadowleaf. He had spoken to her, and they had reached a mutual understanding fairly quickly; the rank of deputy was stressful, no cat could deny that. It was another burden lifted from his heart to know that Meadowleaf had accepted StarClan's warning so readily.

He could see her now, as he stood outside of TreeClan's camp, hearing Meadowleaf call orders to several cats, getting two border patrols (one for NightClan and one for LightningClan) together with a lightness to her mew. Lionstar smiled, recognizing it as relief in its purist form. She knew she was almost free of her burdens, and that put energy back into the calico she-cat's paw-steps as she moved to and fro.

"Send Gorsetail out to meet me, please." Lionstar instructed Firepaw, brushing a piece of fern from her ear that was a souvenir of their battle practice in the hidden thicket. "Tell him I'll be by the Sparkling Brook." With his mentoring duties taken care of for the morning, Lionstar felt he had waited long enough, given himself enough time to build up the strength to follow through with StarClan's message.

Preparing for the likely scenario that Gorsetail would refuse deputyship, a subtle swish of Lionstar's tail and the flicking twitch of his whiskers was all that betrayed this uncertainty as the golden warrior strode to the sparkling brook, bending down once he was at the brook bank to lap some of the cool, crisp water.

What if he refuses? Then he would just have to convince him to reconsider. Lionstar's ears flattened briefly, displeased with the idea of having to convince Gorsetail that he was the right cat for the job; perhaps he was overly optimistic, or just plain relieved to have a suitable candidate on his paws once more, but he felt as though he could trust Gorsetail with the guardianship of TreeClan—when that fateful day finally arrived when he would be called to StarClan for the final time. Before he could settle into a pacing stride along the edge of the brook, Lionstar raised his head to the direction of camp, spotting Gorsetail approaching, his ears swiveling forward as though already in preparation to catch his former apprentice's protests.

"You're here. Thanks for coming. I'll..." Lionstar cleared his throat and drew himself up, shaking the nervousness from his pelt as though they were ants to be flung out of his fur. "I'll get right to the point. Meadowleaf is going to step down from her rank to raise a family. I asked Bluejay to go to the Moon Tree and speak with our ancestors, to see who they approved of to replace Meadowleaf." Lionstar's golden eyes gleamed, and he dipped his jaw right at Gorsetail. "Pinkcloud herself spoke to Bluejay, and told her that my new deputy should be you."

Take it to the world, gonna sing it like an anthem

697 words | tagged Phoenix | notes

background image | So Alive | table by phoenix

[Phoenix]

i wish everyone was loved tonight and somehow stop this endless fight

When Firepaw had found him and told him that Lionstar was waiting for him by the sparkling brook, he had thought nothing of it. With a smile, he dismissed the energetic apprentice, wondering idly what happened to the energy of youth as they grew older and why it always seemed to vanish. She had spirit, and he wondered how she liked having the leader for a mentor. He hoped the two got along well; his own memories of those first awkward moons under Lionstar’s tutelage may have been buried long ago, but looking back at them still made him cringe. Those were the days of misunderstandings and hurt feelings, when he dreaded the mornings that the leader would appear outside the apprentice’s den with Gorsetail’s and Feathercloud’s names on his lips. He was glad that their situation now was merely a memory and no longer a reality, but as much as he might have wanted it to change as a younger cat, the older, more mature tom was almost thankful for it. Without those painful moons, he might never have found such a good friend in Sprucefur, and he might never have had reason to talk to his new mate (the tabby warrior, quiet though he was, was far from oblivious; he knew when he had become the third wheel in their little trio). Their friendship was something he treasured – Lionstar’s, too.

Yellow-green eyes thoughtfully watched Firepaw depart before swiveling to the fresh kill pile, where he dropped the small sparrow he’d been carrying, before turning around and retracing his steps. With this most recent rainfall, the well-worn path to the sparkling brook had turned to muck, and while Gorsetail had no qualms against getting dirty, he did not particularly enjoy the feeling of mud squishing between his toes. Carefully, he padded along the side of the trail where the ground seemed the firmest, realizing suddenly just how many leaves now littered the ground. The signs of leaf-fall had started appearing all around them, but only after this fresh rainfall that it truly sank in that the seasons were changing and that leaf-bare would be right around the corner. Above his head, the trees were beginning to turn their brilliant orange and red, and some of their branches were starting to look barren. The cooler mornings had been a welcome change from the suffocating heat of green-leaf. It seemed like only yesterday that the days had started growing longer and the trees had started becoming greener. Where did the time go?

With the sparkling brook at his paws, Lionstar cut an impressive figure among the leaf-fall foliage. No one could deny that he was the leader and that this was his home. He was proud to follow him, Gorsetail acknowledged. Time and time again, the golden tom had proven himself worthy of the title and worthy of his trust. The warrior could only hope that his former mentor thought the same of him. His fond musings were cut short, however, when the cat of his thoughts noticed his approach and addressed him before he even had the chance to offer a greeting. It must have been some important news, but he had only moments to speculate before the leader carried on, and—

”What?” The wall of words hit him, and the greeting he had been about to offer died on his lips. Had he heard right? Gorsetail stared at Lionstar, not entirely sure that he had heard what he thought he heard. Meadowleaf was stepping down, something about Bluejay and the Moon Tree, but more importantly, Pinkcloud and him and deputy. There was a logical way to put those words together, his mind was telling him, but he could not quite bring himself to do it. He had to be wrong. ”You’re kidding, right?” There was no way – him, as deputy? – That was laughable. He was hardly deputy material. He was too quiet, he never had the right words to say anyway, he had never led anything more than a border patrol in his life – the list of objections that started piling up in his head went on and on, and he could not look away from his former mentor, wondering why he seemed to be the only one who saw everything that was wrong with this idea.

Wondering why Lionstar wasn’t smiling, why he hadn’t started laughing.

”You’re serious,” He gasped out as it hit him again, moments later. Okay, Lionstar was serious. Oh StarClan, Lionstar was serious, which meant that Gorsetail’s reaction was probably not what he was looking for. Guilt coiled in his gut, breaking through the cloud of disbelief that had already begun to dissipate as the need for damage control grew. What could he possibly say to repair that gaffe? Perhaps the best course of action was to make his former mentor see exactly why he had thought the idea so outlandish in the first place. ”I – uh – I appreciate the thought, Lionstar, but I’m really, really not cut out to be deputy. I’m – I’m –“ Here, his words failed him again, and he gestured vaguely at himself with his tail, as if to say, I’m just me.

just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

gorsetail | treeclan | warrior | Fawn

better days | background image

[Fawn]

LIONSTAR

leader of treeclan

Blinded by the light of a new sun

Lionstar couldn't resist the urge to chuckle a little, the shocked expression on Gorsetail's face almost comical. He shook his head when the tabby tom gestured to himself as if that were a good enough reason why he shouldn't be deputy. "You're older than I was when I became deputy." It was true, he'd been the young, young age of 27 moons when Distantstar had called his name from the Ancient Stump; that day felt so long ago, but it had happened. It had been overwhelming at first, but such a strong sense of duty and love for his Clan drove his actions still to this day. He had managed. He had rose to the challenge, and Lionstar fully believed Gorsetail could do the same.

"I support StarClan's choice. Pinkcloud's choice. I know you see yourself as unfit for the job, but take a moment to step back and see how the rest of us see you." Lionstar gestured with his tail to young tom. "You're quiet. Level-headed. Practical. Loyal and compassionate. You've trained one apprentice to warriorhood, and another is well on his way. You've shown yourself capable of leading border patrols, and I find your opinions and insights on Clan politics to be very mature, thoughtful."

Lionstar hadn't needed much convincing that Gorsetail was the right cat for the job; yet as he spoke, that certainty began to settle in like sunlight, warming his bones beneath his pelt as the truth of his own words filled up the space between former mentor and apprentice. "The Clan needs someone like you, Gorsetail. I know the prospect of deputy is frightening, but speaking from experience, it can also be one of the most rewarding ways to serve your Clan." It was hard to explain the pride, the joy over being able to help his Clanmates, of quelling their fears or rousing them to battle when they needed it.

Gorsetail was not an ambitious cat. But perhaps that had worked in his favor? It kept the tom grounded, and that's what TreeClan needed, a warrior who didn't aim for the treetops so much they forgot about their roots. There was no denying this would ever be an easy position to fill, and he knew what he asked of Gorsetail was a heavy burden to place on the young tom's shoulders, but it was necessary. It was his duty as leader to make sure he left the Clan in safe paws; he was their guardian, and that role was meant to be shared with the deputy and the medicine cat.

He could not lead the Clan with one and not the other.

"There will be time to think it over," He reassured him. "If you accept, then I will hold the ceremony at moonhigh. The rest of the day is yours to spend how you wish." Lionstar wasn't going to stand here expectantly, waiting for a cat he knew to be introspective and almost philosophical to give him an answer straight away. That wasn't fair. TreeClan could wait another day. Lionstar would've felt guilty over pressuring Gorsetail into accepting; the young warrior had to reach this decision on his own. He'd said his piece, laid his proverbial cards on the table for Gorsetail to see. But there was no mistake; it had to be his choice. StarClan chosen or not, Lionstar would never select a deputy that didn't want that position; it would've cut him deeper than he would've anticipated to know he'd forced a cat into a rank they could never truly embrace.

The Clan had to be built upon committment and dedication to hardwork. And you couldn't force either of those things.

Take it to the world, gonna sing it like an anthem

635 words | tagged Phoenix | notes

background image | So Alive | table by phoenix

[Phoenix]

i wish everyone was loved tonight and somehow stop this endless fight

Yes, He wanted to argue, But you’re you. It’s clear to anyone with eyes that you were made to be leader. I’m not. I’m just… As long as he had known him, Lionstar had always had that air about him, the one that invited the confidence of others, the one that suggested competence and a noble heart – it was hard to describe, but it was there, had always been there. He seemed like one of those cats who had been born a leader and had slipped into the role the way a bird took to the sky: effortlessly and with an awesome grace. Perhaps Gorsetail was loyal and practical and everything his mentor had listed – perhaps he was all that – but he didn’t have that confidence or that charisma that made others want to follow him. At home in the back of the crowd, he was easily overlooked and forgotten; none of the leaders upon the Great Rock nor the deputies who stood by their side were so easily lost in the crowd.

Not only that, but taking on the role of deputy meant taking on a plethora of added responsibilities. His many moons in the warriors den had shown him that he was capable of performing his duties (and performing them well), but he was comfortable there; with very few entirely outlandish surprises, he had a good idea of what to expect and how to overcome any potential challenges that might arise. That was why he seemed so capable. He knew what he knew, and he knew how to do it fairly well. But stepping into a leadership role meant uncharted territory. There was uncertainty there, and he would undoubtedly have to face them. But while he had managed to adapt to everything that had been thrown at him thus far, would he be able to handle these new challenges? The eyes of the clan would be on him, and they would expect him to be Lionstar when the leader himself wasn’t around.

Those were big paws to fill, and Gorsetail wasn’t sure he could do it.

But Lionstar had spoken as though it was more of an enjoyment than additional duties, which begged the question – did he want to hold that position? These past few moons, he had noticed signs of the growing strain Meadowleaf had been feeling, and while he welcomed the news of her retirement with some relief, did he truly want to transfer that burden onto himself? The tabby warrior didn’t know. With his tail flicking somewhat anxiously, he watched Lionstar depart, leaving him by the stream with only his concerns for company. Gorsetail hated to disappoint his former mentor, but it seemed like that would inevitably be the outcome regardless of the decision he made; either he could decline the offer now and disappoint Lionstar or he could accept and only postpone that disappointment to a later date.

Feeling rather cut adrift for the first time in a long time, he turned and let his gaze travel across the surrounding forest. He longed for someone to tell him what he should choose, what the right course of action was. And then, as if StarClan had heard his cry for help and decided to send an answer to his insecurities, he saw familiar, tan-colored fur. Sprucefur! His heart jolted at the sight of his old friend. He’ll know what to do. Leaping across the small stream, he bounded forward on light paws, hoping belatedly that he wouldn’t be interrupting anything important. ”Sprucefur!” He called out as he neared the tom. ”Can I talk with you about something?”

just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

gorsetail | treeclan | warrior | Fawn

better days | background image

[Fawn]

46 Moons || Senior Warrior || Tom

there's a light that you give me when I'm in shadow

The chill ruffled his fur as he crept along the base of a towering beech tree, the squirrel-scent heavy on his tongue as he stared down the busy prey. Even with the cool breeze blowing down from the mountains, the squirrel did not notice him; silent as a shadow, haunches bunched, Sprucefur lunged, quick as a snake and caught the hapless creature. With a hasty shake of the squirrel's scruff, he rendered it lifeless, the motion too fast to have caused it much pain.

Satisfied with the plump squirrel, Sprucefur turned to bring it to the rest of the (admittedly meager) catch he had buried nearby. The presence of a familiar brown tabby pelt and a voice calling his name had the pale warrior halting in his tracks. The cold, wet leaves from yesterday's rain were chilly against the fur on his paws, dirt and leafy detritus showing noticeably against his pale fur.

"Of course. I'm listening." The squirrel was set aside, and Sprucefur's pale gaze was alight with attentiveness, obviously prepared to listen to anything Gorsetail had to say. The tom was younger than him by a pawful of moons, but Sprucefur had always considered him a good friend; the age gap was hardly noticeable when Gorsetail was so... insightful for his age? He was good company, and though Sprucefur didn't consider himself an expert on social graces or getting himself out of trouble that was more emotional than physical, he would help if he could.

Even if all Gorsetail needed was a listening ear.

Is this about Nightpaw? There was something almost humorous about both toms having had apprentices by the same name; his Nightpaw had been a she-cat, and very different from Gorsetail's apprentice.

there's a feeling you give me, an everglow

---
Word Count: 291 Words
Tags: Phoenix
Notes:

[Phoenix]

i wish everyone was loved tonight and somehow stop this endless fight

At the sound of his name, pale-furred warrior turned (not that Gorsetail had expected any different), and his den mate felt a flare of fondness burst through his chest. Sprucefur was always there. His willingness to provide a listening ear and offer some thoughtful advice was something the tabby cat tried not to – but often did – take for granted, and he hoped the other warrior knew that, even though he might feel as though he stood solely in Lionstar’s shadow, there were ways in which Sprucefur cast his own light. The rest of the clan may look to his brother for guidance and support in times of trouble, but Gorsetail found himself turning just as willingly – if not more – toward the quieter of the two cats.

After all, he was here with Sprucefur now, wasn’t he?

”Hope I wasn’t interrupting anything too important,” He spoke up, tail tip flicking as he offered his friend a somewhat sheepish grin. Green eyes flicked down to the squirrel at his paws, and he couldn’t help but feel a little bad that he was taking up some of Sprucefur’s time. With the leaves changing color and beginning to blanket the ground, they could use all the prey they could catch. ”I’ll try to make this fast so you can get back to your hunting.” Gathering all his insecurities and concerns and trying to pack them away so that they no longer bounced around so unrestrainedly inside his skull, Gorsetail took a moment and let out a sigh before carefully raising his head to meet the other cat’s steady gaze.

”Lionstar wants me to be deputy.” He mewed simply. There was truly no way of really tempering his words, and the warrior thought it best to just get it out there instead of dance frustratingly around the subject. ”Meadowleaf’s stepping down to start a family, and Bluejay told him that StarClan had picked me.” Inevitably, his eyes slid away from Sprucefur’s to stare at a weathered oak tree not far behind him. He hoped Sprucefur wouldn’t mind this news, that a cat many moons younger than himself had been picked over him to become the next leader. Gorsetail knew it couldn’t have been easy to stand in Lionstar’s shadow his entire life, and he didn’t want to add to whatever small part of his friend must be feeling a little overlooked. If it helps, He wanted to add, I think you’d make a better deputy than me. You’re smart and patient and kind and you certainly know what you’re doing more than I do.

And now that he thought about it, Sprucefur was an obvious choice. He was a senior warrior, and everyone knew that he was trustworthy and hardworking. He had friends and family, and Gorsetail expected that he would have kits of his own in the nursery sometime during the upcoming seasons. Why hadn’t StarClan pointed to him? Compared to all of that, the tabby warrior was just here, just himself. He wasn’t impressive. He certainly wasn’t leadership material. ”He gave me the rest of the day to think it over,” Gorestail continued after a few moments, watching an orange leaf float down from the boughs of the oak. ”I don’t know what to do.” I’m not good enough. I’m not cut out to be deputy.

just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

gorsetail | treeclan | warrior | Fawn

better days | background image

[Fawn]

46 Moons || Senior Warrior || Tom

there's a light that you give me when I'm in shadow

Surprise fleetingly colored the pale warrior's gaze, his ears drawn forward with interest as though to catch any more astonishing statements that fell from Gorsetail's mouth. Despite the initial surprise, however, Sprucefur found that he could readily accept the idea. He knew Gorsetail was probably confused, his insides a swirling mass of worry and uncertainty and self-criticism (Sprucefur knew these feelings first-hand), but that didn't stop the senior warrior from nodding solemnly. "You're a good choice, Gorsetail." Sprucefur just knew there was going to be a barrage of reasons why he wasn't a good choice just flying from the young cat's mouth like startled sparrows, so he sternly kept talking, cutting Gorsetail off before his jaws could fully part.

"Hear me out. You went through all of this before, remember? The uncertainty, the..." Sprucefur struggled to put it into words, recalling what his friend had told him after he'd just found out he was mentoring Pinkcloud's son in place of Whiteclaw. "... The self doubt. But now you have an apprentice you cherish. If you had said no, there would be so many memories and experiences you would have missed out on without even knowing it. The choice is yours, and I’d probably be panicking twice as much if I were in your pelt.” Sprucefur admitted this with a small, grim smile. ”But take my words to heart, if you’re considering accepting the position. Letting a moment or a cat pass by is worse than making a mistake; mistakes can be fixed, apologies can go a long way…” But letting something go before you’ve even experienced it is foolish.

He thought of his own trials with Feathercloud; he had nearly let her go. He had nearly dug himself a hole he could not hope to ever climb out of, daring not to risk a relationship with her if it meant he could not look her in the eyes or be proud of himself around a cat whose opinion mattered most. He hadn’t thought himself worthy of her kindness, her patience, her affection. Gorsetail likely felt the same way with the role of deputy; it was a hard truth to swallow, for cats like them. To grow up feeling as though they were valued less than others, only to be told, at possibly the most unexpected moment of their lives, that they were worth twice that and more.

They were not placed high above their Clanmates, never that. But in the eyes of the cats they wanted to mean something to, they were valued beyond measure. And that was enough.

”If you’re worried you can’t live up to Lionstar’s expectations, stop. I’ll tell you what Feathercloud told me. You’re good enough exactly as you are.” Sprucefur’s ears burned, but his heart sang, joyously holding the proper words to his heart and providing Gorsetail with an edited version (the original wouldn’t really apply, in this case). ”We don’t need you to be Lionstar, we just need you to be you.” For what it was worth (and Sprucefur hoped it was worth something), Gorsetail would be a good deputy. Gorsetail was the kind of warrior who worked hard for the things he had without losing hold of himself in the process. It was a rare cat who could serve his Clan wholly without greed, jealousy, ambition or even some middling bitterness if they felt unappreciated.

Sprucefur knew a rare cat when he saw one.

there's a feeling you give me, an everglow

---
Word Count: 571 Words
Tags: Phoenix BlooRey DVD (Feathercloud mention + reference!)
Notes:

[Phoenix]

i wish everyone was loved tonight and somehow stop this endless fight

Sprucefur agreed with Lionstar, and Gorsetail felt the entire army of objections that had set up camp just behind his teeth prepare to burst forth; however the senior warrior, who knew him all too well and probably expected that response, carried on before he had a chance to talk. So the warrior stood there in silence, listening to the words beat back his uncertainty and self-doubt. Occasionally, his eyes flicked upward to meet his companion’s gaze, and the sheer force – the depth – of the sincerity that he saw in those yellow-green eyes had him glancing away again. Sprucefur truly believed every word he spoke, and the tabby cat knew that his friend would never lie to him, especially not about something this important. As words kept falling from the senior warrior’s jaws, Gorsetail surprised himself with the strength of the yearning, the longing, that had suddenly appeared in his heart – he wanted to believe his friend, he wanted to trust that what he and Lionstar said was true, that he was capable of taking this next step forward. And he wanted to believe it not only because they told him, but because he truly thought with every fiber of his being that he could rise to the challenge and be everything he thought he could be.

The sheer enormity of that goal had him balking. Always there was that small voice in the back of his head measuring his actions against those of his clan mates, pointing out what he could have done better and what he never should have attempted in the first place. It kept him humble, but it kept him uncertain. He was never good enough, and though other cats may have seen a confident young tom, he knew that that surety did not reach nearly as deep as it should – not if he was to take up the mantle of leadership one day. TreeClan deserved to have a deputy, a leader, who knew what he was doing, not one who questioned his own decisions again and again in the quietest hours of the night. If he was never good enough for himself as a warrior, then how could he be good enough for his clan as their deputy?

But Sprucefur knew exactly what words he needed to hear, and he said them.

All over again, Gorsetail felt like flames danced under his pelt, but those words dug far deeper into his heart than he could hope to understand. A part of him (that little part that housed his pride) wanted to argue that – he was a warrior, he knew that he was good enough – but had he not, moments ago, just been questioning his own validity as a deputy candidate? That confidence was far more fleeting than it seemed, but if Sprucefur had such unshakable confidence in him, surely that had to count for something. The pale tom had no agenda – almost instantly, he felt bad for implying that his former mentor had one – but while he was invested in the future of TreeClan (just like the rest of them), it was not quite to the same extent (nor quite in the same way) as Lionstar. He understood the troubles that plagued Gorsetail, how they clung to the darkest corners of his mind like as if glued there with sap. If Sprucefur had any doubts, surely he would voice them, surely he would seem a little more hesitant.

”Do you really think so?” Still, the words slipped out, smaller than he had intended, even as the hope that maybe he really could do this began to warm his heart. His old friend, his old mentor – both of them seemed to have more than enough confidence in him, more than enough trust that he would make a worthy deputy. Ever since he had stepped up to receive his warrior name, he had valued their opinions, thought them sound, and agreed with them on most counts. Perhaps this didn’t have to be any different. Perhaps he, too, could have such faith in himself, and perhaps until the last of the self-doubt fled his veins, he could borrow a little of theirs – just a few words, every now and again to remind himself that he was good enough.

After all, Sprucefur had said that they didn’t need him to be Lionstar. They just needed him to be himself. I think can do that.

just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

gorsetail | treeclan | warrior | Fawn

better days | background image