[Fate Admin]

I can feel the pain of the sun as it lights up the air,
I can taste the hope, it’s everywhere…

---

Her apprentice ceremony had been only yesterday. Lionstar had named her Pinkpaw alongside her sister, Bluepaw. The two of them had stood close together, white fur brushing blue-gray, but Pinkpaw had felt anything but excited happiness. Luckily it had at least been cloudy yesterday so her ceremony hadn’t been so bad because of the sun. Lionstar had also held the ceremony later in the day, closer to dusk, so that had also helped. That didn’t change the fact that Nighthawk was gone, that he didn’t get to be there as she became an apprentice. She had glanced behind her just once, as if she might have seen his dark form sitting proudly, his emerald eyes shining with joy and encouragement. Instead she’d seen only Mistfur, glaring at her with undisguised hatred in her icy blue eyes.

She had turned back to Lionstar then, her ears flattening against her head even as Bluepaw pressed against her for comfort and encouragement. Ebonykit was gone too. She and Nighthawk had died within a few days of each other. Ebonykit had never been nice to her, but she would have never wished for her sister to die. Mistfur had told her often since then that it should have been her. She should have died. She had no right to go on living if Ebonykit couldn’t. Bluepaw had murmured to her that things would get better now, now that they were out of the nursery and away from Mistfur. Pinkpaw wasn’t so sure. Her heart ached for Nighthawk, for the father that was a great dark comforting shadow in her life and who had been taken from her so suddenly, and for her sister too, who died so young. Who knows, maybe she would have changed after getting away from Mistfur… maybe she would have become a better cat. No one would know now. It was just sad, too sad.

Lionstar had called the young warrior Gorsetail forward to mentor her. Pinkpaw remembered his kindness when he was Wormpaw and it gave her a small boost of confidence. She had been nervous about who her mentor would be, but she kind of knew Gorsetail and it gave her some peace of mind that it wouldn’t just be some strange warrior. They’d touched noses and he’d told her to rest up for early training tomorrow as the Clan called her new name. She and Bluepaw had made up their nests in the apprentice den, one big one for the both of them to share, and spend most of the rest of the night sharing tongues. Bluepaw had been excited and had done most of the talking, but Pinkpaw didn’t mind. She liked listening to her sister’s happiness.

She’d woken before dawn as she had been for the past couple moons, greeting the new day before the sun could show its face, the sky just barely beginning to lighten. She left her shared nest with Bluepaw and sat just outside the apprentices’ den to groom her spectacularly white fur, every piece of moss and dirt standing out like a sore claw. She wondered what Gorsetail had meant by ‘early training’. Most cats had a different definition of early from her. As she swiped her forepaw over her ears and face, she glanced toward the remains of the freshkill pile, wondering if she could eat or not. Queens and elders were supposed to be fed before apprentices could eat, right? Her stomach rumbled and she returned to grooming, trying to distract herself from her hunger. She should wait. Maybe Gorsetail would take her hunting today and she could eat then.

---

We are home now, the sun won’t hurt you anymore….

[Phoenix]

I WISH EVERYONE WAS LOVED TONIGHT

To think that he was a mentor – it boggled his mind. Mentors were warriors, and if he asked anyone in his clan, they would say that yes, he was a warrior. He had trained hard under the tutelage of Lionstar himself, passed the test with flying colors, and earned his new place in the clan. But he didn’t feel like a warrior. He didn’t feel any different than he did moons ago, when he still slept in the apprentice’s den. Warriors were brave cats who marched off to fight for their clan, not because they wanted to but because it was right. They were idolized by kits and admired by apprentices for all of their accomplishments. They were turned to for answers and protection. He never felt brave enough or strong enough or that he knew enough. He was Wormpaw a moment ago, and now he was Gorsetail. Just Gorsetail.

And he was expected to somehow teach Pinkpaw everything he felt like he did not know.

Dawn came as bright and early as ever, and it brought with it a sickening apprehension that had started sinking deep into his bones since sunset of the previous day. His heart began its rapid tattoo simply with the return of awareness, letting him know that there was no chance of his drifting off to rise at a later time. Green-yellow eyes blinked as their owner yawned, climbing quietly to his feet and standing among the shadowed forms of his sleeping denmates. After he picked his way out of the den, he cast a typical cursory glance around camp, making note of the paleness of the sky and the fading stillness of the early morning.

The sight of his apprentice outside her den should probably have surprised him, but he could easily imagine that Pinkpaw was an early riser. Inclining his head slightly, the warrior acknowledged her with a smile on his lips as he began to make his way toward her. “Good morning, Pinkpaw,” He greeted her warmly, tail flicking lightly behind him. “I hope you weren’t too excited to sleep last night and could get some rest.” He remembered all too well the sheer excitement that had raced through his veins at becoming an apprentice, tainted only by the jealousy of his fellow apprentices – brothers included – that he had Lionstar as a mentor. If the thought struck him at the right moment, it still held the power to make him cringe ever so slightly. He was probably the only apprentice in the history of the clans to ever be uncomfortable with the fact that he had had a leader for his mentor.

Flicking his tail, he chased the musing from his mind; there was no reason to dwell on the past. “I was thinking we could start off with a quick tour of the territory,” He suggested, unable to shake feeling like he was looking for someone’s approval. Approval of what? Perhaps that he was doing it right? “You can learn the borders and your way around, and then, if you weren’t too tired or anything, we could probably start a little hunting.” Giving her a small smile, he resisted the urge to shrug as he made to turn toward the camp’s exit. “Does that sound good to you, Pinkpaw?”

Gorsetail | TreeClan | Warrior | Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

A CHANCE THAT MAYBE WE'LL FIND BETTER DAYS

[Fate Admin]

I can feel the pain of the sun as it lights up the air,
I can taste the hope, it’s everywhere…

---

Pale pink eyes turned upward toward the tom as he approached where she lay, paws tucked neatly beneath herself. She had finished her grooming a few moments ago and was doing her best to ignore the freshkill pile and its contents calling to her. Her mentor greeted her cheerfully and Pinkpaw couldn’t help but greet him just the same, in her quiet tone, “Good morning, Gorsetail.” She looked down at the dirt in front of her tucked paws as he inquired about her first night in the apprentices’ den. She shifted a bit, pointed ears twitching, “I slept all right.” It had not been excitement that kept her awake, even after Bluepaw had fallen asleep. Nighthawk had been dead a full moon now, but the realization that he wasn’t there at her apprentice ceremony had just brought all her pain back in full force. Mistfur’s gaze full of hate and the lack of a small black form beside her and her sister as Lionstar gave them new names served to remind her of the life of her sister, cut so tragically short.

She looked back up at him as he spoke again, of touring TreeClan’s territory. Her ears angled forward slightly with interest and she tried to push away the negative feelings that swarmed about her mind like angry bees. She should be more excited. Nighthawk had taken her out of camp a couple of times, but never really very far, except once… to the Wildflower Clearing. She pushed to her paws and nodded as Gorsetail asked her opinion on the whole matter. She’d certainly never seen the borders before. “Will we meet cats from the other Clans?” She followed him toward the camp entrance, plumed white tail straight in the air behind her, betraying her excitement at that prospect. She’d heard plenty of stories about the other Clans, of course, but she’d never met them.

“NightClan cats aren’t all mean like the stories, are they?” she looked up at him, kit-like curiosity in her strange pink eyes. “We share a border… right?” she asked, a bit unsure if she had it right or not. Her Clanmates sure talked about NightClan often enough, usually not so good things. She couldn’t remember what the other Clan was, on their other border. Then she remembered hearing about Gatherings, “Will we see StarClan’s Claws?” Her quiet voice almost squeaked with excitement. Questions just kept coming to her and she could hardly hold them back long enough for her mentor to answer. For now, her sadness had gone.

---

We are home now, the sun won’t hurt you anymore….

[Phoenix]

I WISH EVERYONE WAS LOVED TONIGHT

Ducking his head as they left the camp and stepped out onto the well-worn path, he glanced away from the small she-cat by his side, a grin stretching across his features as her excitement grew. He found it refreshing to see the boundless energy of new apprentices, and he always thought fondly of the way the beginners appreciated even the most basic parts of training. Once a moon had passed and the novelty wore off, the borders became only places that needed patrolling, and the other clans were simply made up of other cats that they considered with varying levels of hostility. There was no longer anything special about simply leaving camp; the small joys in life seemed to slowly disappear, and he was just as guilty of letting them go as the warrior next to him.

“We might,” Gorsetail mused, shoulders lifting in a shrug as they padded along. A yellow-green gaze studied the stream before them, which trickled brightly across their path. “Whether we meet another clan is mostly up to chance, but maybe you’ll get lucky today. ” He glanced at her, a small smile playing across his lips. “Ready to jump?” After a heartbeat, he shifted into motion, striped legs pushing him toward the small stones that formed an easy path across the stream for those who preferred to keep their paws dry. Reaching the other side, he turned, eyes bright. “Not too bad. It’s maybe a little slippery, but you can handle it.”

The warrior waited for his apprentice to cross, tail flicking lightly by his paws. As his thoughts travelled back to their conversation, he continued lightly, “And you’re right; we do share a border with NightClan.” Gorsetail paused as he chose his words with care. While it would hardly do to completely disregard the stories regarding their neighbor, he also felt wary of setting up a bias against the other clan. Even if his clan was not on the best of terms with them, he believed that NightClan deserved to speak for themselves as much as any other clan; Pinkpaw could formulate her own opinion based on her personal experiences with them. “I wouldn’t say they’re all mean,” He explained delicately. “But keep in mind that, traditionally, TreeClan and NightClan have never regarded each other as particularly close friends. A pause, and then, “Other cats might say differently, but I think the best way to think about it would probably be that NightClan is a clan just like us. There are probably those in TreeClan whose company you might avoid, and there are a few cats whose companionship you might actively seek. NightClan is the same way.”

Suddenly aware that he might have given Pinkpaw more of an answer than she had expected, he shut his mouth and glanced down at her, hoping that he would not see an expression of utter indifference upon her features. Tail flicking, he slowed his pace as they drew close to the border. “Regarding StarClan’s Claws, perhaps we can make a stop. But for now-” The forest had grown thinner and thinner as the trees grew farther apart and the undergrowth disappeared “- Welcome to the LightningClan border.”

Gorsetail | TreeClan | Warrior | Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

A CHANCE THAT MAYBE WE'LL FIND BETTER DAYS

[Fate Admin]

I can feel the pain of the sun as it lights up the air,
I can taste the hope, it’s everywhere…

---

Pinkpaw’s whiskers quivered with excitement at the prospect of meeting cats from other Clans today. If it was up to chance, she hoped theirs was a good one! She did her best to keep up with her mentor and not slow them down. She wanted to see everything she could today. Nighthawk had never taken her all that far from camp, except once to the Wildflower Clearing. Her tail drooped slightly as she remembered that day and she wondered if Gorsetail would take her there too. Then the tom was asking her if she was ready to jump and she peered past him at the stream. She stood on the bank as he leapt across and turned to encourage her to follow.

She dabbed her pale paw at the water, a light splash flinging cool droplets up at her muzzle. She stepped back, shaking her head, and looked across at her mentor. It hadn’t looked hard, jumping across the stones. She swallowed and took a few steps backward, then ran forward to jump for the first rock. She clung there for a moment, regaining her balance as one paw slipped a bit on the smooth, wet stone. Luckily they weren’t spaced very far apart, jumping to the next one from a still position wouldn’t be hard. She tried to convince herself of that anyway. The stream wasn’t deep, she wouldn’t drown if she fell in, but she also really didn’t want to get a soaking when they were barely out of camp. She made the rest of the leaps without any problems, pausing briefly on every stone, not used to the slippery surface beneath her paws. At least she landed beside Gorsetail and looked up at him, feeling a bit more confident in herself now that she’d made it across without incident.

Her tail curled over her back proudly as he confirmed that she was indeed right about NightClan sharing a border with them. She had been so scared she was dead wrong about it! She didn’t want Gorsetail to think she was stupid. They began walking again and Gorsetail went on about NightClan. She looked up at him with open curiosity in her pale pink eyes as he explained that, in the end, they were just like TreeClan. She breathed a sigh of relief at that. The elders told some nasty stories about NightClan. She shuddered as she remembered the one about Leechfang, an ancient NightClan warrior that drank other cats’ blood. She met his gaze as he looked down at her and nodded to show she understood what he was saying.

He began to slow down and Pinkpaw matched his pace as best she could, wondering why they were stopping until he announced the reason. She looked around as he welcomed her to the LightningClan border. The trees were sparse here and as a cloud moved away from the sun, freeing the land below from shadow, Pinkpaw squinted as more sunlight than she was used to broke through the leaf cover above them. There were even whole big patches of sunlight where no tree stood at all. She moved instinctively closer to Gorsetail, crouching in his shadow as her eyes watered from the sudden exposure to light and blinking them to clear her sight. She looked across out past where the trees fell away completely into tall grass, a strange scent reaching her nose. She parted her jaws to taste the air. TreeClan scent was there, strong as anything, but also another scent. It smelled of warm winds, sunlight, grass and rabbits. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but certainly much different from the leafy, comfortably cool scent of TreeClan.

“That scent is LightningClan?” she asked, looking up at him briefly before averting her gaze again, the sun too bright here. She blinked a few times more, then closed her eyes tightly against the burning sensation she was so used to. She became immensely thankful to have been born in TreeClan, where the leaf cover kept the sun at bay. She couldn’t imagine how painful it would be to be a LightningClan cat, out there in the open and the sun. She pressed her muzzle into Gorsetail’s fur, eyes still closed, simply seeking relief from the brightness of the sun. His shadow protected the rest of her small pale body, but the sunlight was cruel to her overly sensitive eyes. She didn't want to ask to go back, there was so much more to see. She was an apprentice now, she couldn't just hide in the undergrowth and do nothing all day. She shook briefly with doubt, wondering how she was ever supposed to be a proper warrior when the sun hurt so bad.

---

We are home now, the sun won’t hurt you anymore….

[Phoenix]

I WISH EVERYONE WAS LOVED TONIGHT

He didn't notice it at first, but the moment he did, he felt utterly horrible for not noticing as long as he had. After all, it was his job to remain aware of such matters, and it took hardly more than a short glance to the side to see the way Pinkpaw was crouched in his shadow. It took only a moment more for him to realize exactly why she was there. The burst of sunlight that had caused him to flick his tail lightly as it warmed his back had not brought nearly as much enjoyment to her. Belatedly, he remembered seeing the way she shied away from the brightness, and another wave of guilt crashed over him. It was stupid, coming out to where the trees were so thin on what had promised to be a nice, clear day. He was her mentor; he should have remembered before now. There was no excuse.

“This scent is LightningClan,” He confirmed slightly hollowly, turning when he felt her head pressed into his side. The guilt coiled in his stomach hissed, demanding that he do something other than wallow in his mistake. There was time for that later. For now - he leaned over her more, working to cast her into shadow with his body. With his nose, he nudged the top of her head gently, murmuring a heartfelt apology in her ear. “I'm so sorry, Pinkpaw. Come on, we'll head back into the forest.” It didn't feel like enough as he encouraged her to rise to her paws and follow close to him. Their path winded as he led her from shadow to shadow, taking full advantage of what little refuge the sparse undergrowth and trees provided as they increased in frequency before opening back into the forest.

There was no excuse, he found himself thinking again as they walked along in the shelter of TreeClan's forest home. He should never have forgotten, allowed himself to become so distracted by the LightningClan border. It was only a border, only an imaginary line that he had seen hundreds of times by now. It should never have stolen his attention away from another living, breathing cat - his apprentice - like that, even if all he had wanted to do was check to see if they were alone. He knew that she was sensitive to sunlight. He should have foreseen what could happen - what had ended up happening - and considered the consequences of bring her so far out from under cover. It was his fault, and he felt horrible. “I'm sorry about that, Pinkpaw,” He broke the silence, turning to look a her but not quite able to meet her gaze. “I just wasn't thinking.” As if it would make up for what had happened. And what must Pinkpaw think of him? If she had lost all confidence in him, he found that he would not blame her. He should have remembered. With the guilt now resting heavily on his shoulders, he doubted that he would ever forget again.

“But, um, did you have any questions about LightningClan? Or anything in particular?” He asked, slightly more subdued, trying to pull himself together and fulfill the rest of the role of mentor he was supposed to be. It would hardly be fair to her, he told himself, if he spent the rest of the time apologizing for his mistake. She was here to learn about TreeClan's territory and their borders, not listen to him apologize for an event that never should have happened in the first place. That thought spurred him on as he tried to shove the guilt back until he could deal with it at a later point. Pinkpaw didn't deserve to have him wasting her time as well as leading her straight into the sunlight.

Gorsetail | TreeClan | Warrior | Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

A CHANCE THAT MAYBE WE'LL FIND BETTER DAYS