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Post by Taxx on Mar 2, 2019 15:57:51 GMT -5
If you love me, don't let go Sleetpaw sat next to the apprentices' den, her gaze pinned on the center of the clearing where Russetfall's body had lain for his vigil. She'd stayed away- more because she didn't want to risk angering Lynxpaw than because she was unwilling to spend a last night with the warrior. She had not expected such an explosive reaction to her attempt to comfort, and she still flinched when the memory came, and she hadn't been able to meet Lynxpaw's eyes since.
She could still pick up a trace of the herbs that had been used to mask the scent of death, and she shivered, glancing away. It was the first time she could remember seeing a cat die; and it made her wonder how her own father's had gone. She wished she had had a chance to know him. Or- maybe not. It would have been nice, but knowing him would have also meant one day mourning his death as LightningClan had mourned Russetfall's. There was still an undercurrent of grief among the Clan; Firestar especially seemed to feel the old tom's death keenly, and what could any cat say to lessen that grief? Lynxpaw had hardly changed her routine, training hard but rarely mingling among the Clan- but refusing to have anything to do with the elders' den.
Shaking her head, Sleetpaw glanced over at the medicine cats' den, ears flicking back. She had stayed away from there, unsure if Tigerpaw would want to see her- or if he would react as Lynxpaw had in the grip of his sadness. He'd never spoken to her with a touch of anger, though, and they had seemed to get along well enough. Swallowing, the young she-cat got to all four paws and slowly headed across the camp, pausing just a moment to take a breath before easing into the den and scanning the den for the apprentice, ears flicking upright before dropping again as she spotted him. "Hi- Tigerpaw... am I interrupting anything?" Her voice dropped to a whisper as she asked the question, muscles tensed to quickly backpedal if he showed any hint of unwillingness to see or talk to her. Because I'm a little unsteady Sleetpaw LightningClan Apprentice @zen ● Made by Fawn |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2019 22:58:47 GMT -5
Tigerpaw was slowly taking stock of their herb store, but his father’s death still hung heavy on his mind. He knew he would see him again, he might even see him at the next medicine cat meeting, but there was an emptiness in him where his father’s presence should be. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to go back to the elders’ den yet, and fortunately Kindleflare had been understanding and had seen to that duty herself, but he knew he would have to face it eventually, and going there and not seeing him… would be hard. Hence why his stock taking was going so slowly. His mind was preoccupied by his grief and he found himself losing track of what he had already gone through. He might have gotten frustrated, but his grief drowned out most of his other emotions and he would find himself sighing and just starting over without much more thought on the matter. So distracted was he that he did not notice when Sleetpaw came into the den, and he jumped as she greeted him, turning to stare at her with wide eyes for a moment before recognition dawned on him and he forced himself to relax once more. “Oh, ah… no…. Hello, Sleetpaw. You’re not interrupting…. I’m… I’m doing a good enough job interrupting myself, actually…,” he smiled weakly at her and left his task to pad closer, “Did you need something, or did you just come to visit?” The two of them had been spending a decent amount of time together ever since that first conversation about her doubts about her abilities as a warrior. It wouldn’t be surprising if she was just checking in.
Taxx |
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Post by Taxx on Apr 12, 2019 12:55:41 GMT -5
If you love me, don't let go Tigerpaw jumped and Sleetpaw did too, braced and two seconds from bolting even though she'd been the one to approach Tigerpaw in the first place. The medicine cat apprentice greeted her, though, his welcome perhaps a bit more subdued but still friendly. For a moment longer, Sleetpaw remained tense by the entrance of the medicine den, blinking at him, before she gave a tiny shake of her head. "I'm okay," she assured, her gaze dropping then, her tail flicking nervously.
"I just... wanted to see you, that's all. Um- to see- if you were okay?" And she was tensed all over again, wary of a refusal or worse. While Tigerpaw had never been as volatile as his sister, Sleetpaw wasn't sure if he'd appreciate her asking about his father. It hadn't even been that long, but she'd already waited days. "I- I understand if you don't want to talk," she added, flashing a brief glance up at him. "If you don't, I'll go. Just thought I'd ask..." Because I'm a little unsteady Sleetpaw LightningClan Apprentice @zen ● Made by Fawn |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2019 12:48:23 GMT -5
“Oh, good,” Tigerpaw mewed softly as Sleetpaw confirmed she hadn’t come to the medicine den for any sort of treatment. Instead… his ears flicked back briefly as she explained her real reason for visiting him today. “I’m…,” he trailed off, unsure just what to say at first. It was the first real loss he had ever experienced. Sleetpaw hurriedly filled the silence and he stepped forward to press against her side lightly, “No, you don’t have to go… thank you. For caring about me.”
He didn’t particularly feel like many cats considered him a friend, he was too shy, too quiet, and didn’t share any interests that cats his age typically had, which all around tended to center around their warrior training. But Sleetpaw was more like him, and it was comforting just to have that connection and know he wasn’t so odd because there were others that felt similarly about things. Sleetpaw and Kindleflare were about the only cats thus far that he had been able to find that sort of connection with.
With a sigh, he settled onto his haunches and stared down at his paws for a moment, admitting, “I just feel… empty. Like part of me is missing and I… I don’t know how to fix it. I guess… time will do that. All cats… all cats lose cats they care about, but… they get better, after a while. I just wish there was an herb I could take to help the wound heal faster, or something….” He took a deep breath and glanced over at her, giving her a small, sad smile, “But I’m kinda lucky. It helps, because… I know I’ll get to see him in my dreams. Even if he’s not here, in the elder’s den anymore… I know his spirit is still here, and I’ll get to see him, and talk to him. So I just… keep reminding myself of that.”
He shuffled his paws, glancing down at them again, “Most cats don’t get that comfort, so I’m trying to just… I don’t feel like I have as much right to… feel bad about it, I guess. Lynxpaw won’t get to see him… Wildcall won’t either. Even Firestar won’t get to, not like I can…. It’s worse for them. For once, I… for once I feel like I’m the one that’s… supposed to be strong for them.” He hesitated a moment, his voice dropping, “And I… I know… I know it was his time. I know there was nothing… nothing I could have done to sa-... to save him.” He swallowed back a swell of emotion, closing his eyes tightly, “But I don’t know if they… if they know that. If they… understand. And I… I don’t want them to blame me.”
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Post by Taxx on May 26, 2019 17:57:56 GMT -5
If you love me, don't let go Tigerpaw didn't react as Sleetpaw had been half-dreading, by acting as Lynxpaw had. There was a vast relief in that, because even though she knew Tigerpaw and he had never reacted in such a way, there had never been a situation like this, either. The young she-cat sat and watched as Tigerpaw left his herbs to sit beside her, his ginger-and-white pelt pressing to hers. Her blue eyes fixed on him, listening without interrupting as he spoke.
She felt for him. It had to be hard, losing his father. She knew Firestar was taking it hard; the Clan's leader had hardly emerged from her den since Russetfall had been buried. She wished she could say she knew what it felt like, since she had lost hers too, but she had no memory of her own father. What he really looked like, what he really acted like, would be a mystery to her until she saw him again- hopefully not for many, many moons. But Tigerpaw... He'd stood there and watched as his own father had died. She couldn't even begin to guess at his grief. It really was too bad there wasn't an herb that could take away the pain losing a loved one caused.
At least she could help some, by being here for him to talk to, to let out whatever weight he'd been carrying. "Maybe you can help them too. If they want it..." She didn't know Wildcall all that well, or how Lynxpaw might react to it, but if she had the chance to really know that her father were safe in StarClan she'd be thrilled.
Tigerpaw's voice lowered and Sleetpaw leaned closer, offering a purr to try to calm him and closing her eyes; she wished there was something she could do to help- something better than this. Letting him talk out his worries might be good, but it changed nothing in the end, and what more could she do- one small apprentice? "I hope they know. I hope they already understand that. I know you would have done anything, if it would have helped. Maybe- maybe you could talk to them? I- I tried to offer Lynxpaw my sympathies but... um, it didn't work very well." Her tail twitched and her ears pressed back for a moment at the memory of the older apprentice's screeched demand. "But she's closer to you, and maybe she might listen better?"
Because I'm a little unsteady Sleetpaw LightningClan Apprentice @zen ● Made by Fawn |
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2019 0:18:19 GMT -5
Nodding in the slightest, Tigerpaw offered silent agreement that perhaps he could help his family reach some sort of peace with Russetfall’s passing, but right now he didn’t know that any of them would be particularly receptive, nor was he in the best state to help anyone else when he was still reaching that peace himself. Perhaps when the pain was not so raw, the wound not so deep. He was confident that time would help, but that didn’t help the pain of the present.
He sighed as Sleetpaw suggested he talk with his family, and that she tried to offer some comfort to his sister. His ears flicked back, sure he knew just how Sleetpaw’s sympathies had been received. “I’m sorry, if she lashed out…. Thank you for trying,” he offered a soft, rough purr, appreciating her compassion for his temperamental littermate. He sighed again, leaning into his companion a bit more without realizing it, “Right now… I think Lynxpaw just needs space. To take out her feelings on something other than her Clanmates.” He offered Sleetpaw a soft, sad smile, “But don’t worry. I’ll check on her. She’s always looking out for me…. At least I can repay the favor when it comes to this.”
He let silence fall between them for a few heartbeats, and when he spoke again his voice was softer, “Will you… will you just stay here with me for a while?” It struck him as a bit of a selfish request. He had things he should be doing, and she probably did too. But there were so few cats he could take comfort in, and the loss of one suddenly had him in desperate need of the presence of another.
Taxx end? or you can end it with yours~ |
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