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Post by Fawn on Dec 2, 2018 11:41:26 GMT -5
Dusk that Shrouds the Forest If you get lost you can always be found Prey-Hunter, 54 Moons His return to NightClan had been anything but pleasant. Dusk had been shuffled along in the sea of panicked faces retreating from the site of carnage; he had trembled from nose to tail-tip, his heart a baritone clang of dread.
Oh StarClan, what have we done?
Finding Darkblaze amongst the rabble had been a blessing and a nightmare. The sight of his brother, wounded in body and soul, carrying home the body of an apprentice, snapped Dusk's heart in two. It was later, during the grim-faced eulogy delivered by Briarthroat, that he learned the body belonged to Shadepaw, Darkblaze's son. Dusk's nephew.
Hushed introductions were made between Dusk and his brother's remaining kit, Ebonypaw. Dusk had tried to smile, but it felt like a lie. Instead, he fell silent, feeling like an intruder in a place he had once called home. Dusk's heart still ached, and for once in his life, sleep did not come easy. Not even after he worked his paws filthy helping NightClan bury their dead.
Dusk was crouched now, the morning light beginning to slip between pine boughs, at the ambush pond. He washed his paws of the worst of the dirt, but the guilt and grief were not so easily abandoned. Dusk's throat tightened. These words felt as empty and dead as a hollow log, but he felt compelled to speak - to say anything to let his brother know how sorry he was.
"I would do anything to make yesterday go differently." Dusk looked at his paws, posture slouched with grief. "I am so sorry, Darkblaze. For your family, for having to leave again..."
Dusk flinched. He had never before regretted leaving NightClan, but as he stared at his splotched reflection in the stilled waters of the pond, he felt selfish and cruel for having left in the first place. He had lost his opportunity to be a part of his niece and nephew's life -- all so he could feel better about himself.
Tribe of Forgotten Waters |
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| I'm never safe, it's not a phase; if I finally break would you still stay? |
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STAFF
INVENTORY
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Post by Amber on Dec 5, 2018 1:05:55 GMT -5
DARKBLAZE HOLD ON, HOLD ON TO ME The dark warrior limped slowly, trailing behind the small burial patrol. His tail dragged the ground and his eyes were downcast, his entire body sagging noticeably. Relying purely on muscle memory and moons of learning the forest to keep him going, he remained just a few pawsteps behind most of the other cats. NightClan had just entrusted their dead to the safety of the earth, and Darkblaze wasn’t faring well. He’d refused to let anyone help him dig the small grave for his son, instead bearing the burden alone as penance for his sins. He’d failed to protect him, and now he would spend countless hours attempting to atone for it. The work burying his son had torn open the wound in his shoulder, but he didn’t notice the blood slowly sliding down his right foreleg. He didn’t notice much anymore.
Darkblaze had all but shut down after the Gathering ended. He’d gingerly picked up his son’s lifeless body and dragged himself back to camp, unseeing, unhearing, and uncaring of the world around him. He’d relied, as now, on muscle memory to carry him through, and had been functioning on autopilot ever since. He wasn’t even certain how many days had passed between then and now, living his life in a numb haze. Food and water held no interest for him, and what little sleep he managed to get was plagued by vicious nightmares, reliving his son’s death over and over.
“P-Papa...I-I’m so c-c-cold...”
Even in his waking hours, Shadepaw’s final moments haunted him. He could still see him, feel himself curled around the fragile tom, could still scent the blood and the fear in the air. He had vowed that day to remain strong for Ebonypaw, his only remaining child, but the weight of everything was just too much to bear, and he was failing. Even worse, part of him knew he was failing, but he just wasn’t strong enough to fix it. He was drowning, but didn’t have the energy to save himself anymore.
As the patrol reached the camp, most cats paused to wash the dirt from their claws before heading into camp to rest. Darkblaze stopped and waited, not looking up as all but one cat entered NightClan’s cave. The broken senior warrior waited, looking down at his muddy paws, not really seeing them. Automatically, he dropped his haunches into a sit beside his newly-returned brother.
“I would do anything to make yesterday go differently.” Darkblaze didn’t react to Dusk’s words, posture stiff and eyes still aimed sightlessly downward. “I am so sorry, Darkblaze. For your family, for having to leave again...”
At his brother’s last words, Darkblaze visibly flinched. A weak light came back into his eyes as his face snapped to Dusk’s. Yellow-gold eyes were wide, huge and full of fear. "You...You’re leaving again?" His voice was weak, scratchy from disuse and dehydration, and laced with a blossoming panic. His heart began to beat faster and his breathing grew shallow, while shadows began to dance at the edge of his vision. "H-Hazeheart...You can’t...I-I...I can’t..."
His breathing picked up, rapid, shallow breaths that began to make his head spin. He couldn’t face this alone. His brother was the only family he had left other than his daughter, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing either of them. Faced with the very real prospect of Dusk leaving him behind again, Darkblaze was panicking, his already fragile sanity slipping away from him. When he next spoke, his words came out as a low whine, breathy and terrified.
"Hazeheart, don’t leave me!" CAUSE I'M A LITTLE UNSTEADY, A LITTLE UNSTEADY NIGHTCLAN. WARRIOR. 54 MOONS. |
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Post by Fawn on Dec 7, 2018 7:15:56 GMT -5
Dusk that Shrouds the Forest If you get lost you can always be found Prey-Hunter, 54 Moons Watching Darkblaze fall apart was somehow more frightening than the fox attack. Death, while permanent, could be restful - but the sight of his brother breathing ragged, his eyes wide with fear and heightened stress, sent a chill spider-crawling down Dusk's spine. His tortoiseshell fur fluffed, and he hastily pressed his pelt against his littermate's, trying to find the words to soothe.
"I won't! I won't! I'm not going anywhere. Not until I know you and Ebonypaw will be alright." Dusk swallowed, a difficult task around the mouse-sized lump in his throat. StarClan, grant him some peace. Brightfeather, Shadepaw, Silvermist... watch over him. Dusk's ears tucked, picking up on the harried heartbeats.
Some of it was his own, but most of it was his brother's.
If only there was a way to be in two places at once - a way to go be with the Tribe, without leaving Darkblaze feeling abandoned and betrayed. Dusk indulged in the thought of making the trip from the mountains to NightClan several times a season, but he knew even before he'd finished the thought that it could never work. A cat that traveled alone was a cat that could fall victim to predators - and his heart couldn't take the image of Darkblaze waiting for him, anxious and confused and still holding out hope that he'd show up as promised.
He couldn't leave him with that kind of uncertainty.
He couldn't leave him at all. Dusk's posture seemed to soften, even as his insides turned to lead. I'll have to beg Foxstar to let me come back... Dusk's chest filled up with pressure, devastated at the real possibility he had to leave his new friends - his new family - behind. Could he make that sacrifice? Was he strong enough?
Dusk scented blood, and his skin rippled with alarm as he realized it was coming from Darkblaze. "You're bleeding again," he mewed, struggling to keep himself calm. "We should get Shadowchaser. We don't want Ebonypaw to worry."
Despite the need for treatment, Dusk didn't immediately move away from Darkblaze. Thoughts of herbs, of goatweed and cobwebs and dandelion stalks had filled up the former warrior's mind. If... valley plants could thrive in the mountains, if he, peculiar as he was, could thrive in the mountains... Maybe...
Dusk glanced at his brother, his own heart stuttering into a frantic sprint. Hopeful. Fearful. Bracing himself for disappointment.
"Would you... Would you come with me, Darkblaze? Ebonypaw too, of course. To the Tribe. Skyteller would welcome you and your daughter, even if you weren't my kin. I-It could be a fresh start." Dusk hastily reined himself in, afraid that he was overstepping, imposing too much of his own desire to be back with the Tribe. "If it's what you want. You don't have to decide right now. I'll stay here for a few days."
Like cobwebs, it was a temporary fix for a serious wound. It would soak up some of the blood, but it wouldn't kickstart the healing process. Dusk looked at his pond-drenched paws, praying to StarClan and to the Tribe of Endless Hunting for the strength to get through this impossible choice.
Tribe of Forgotten Waters |
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| I'm never safe, it's not a phase; if I finally break would you still stay? |
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STAFF
INVENTORY
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Post by Amber on Feb 8, 2019 12:31:33 GMT -5
DARKBLAZE HOLD ON, HOLD ON TO ME The press of his brother's mottled fur against his darker pelt barely registered in Darkblaze's mind. The shadows crowding the edge of his vision were closing in on him as he continued to breathe erratically, shallow breaths not allowing enough oxygen to get to his panicked brain. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, he couldn't live...
"Papa, P-Papa, it h-hurts!"
"You'll take care of them, won't you? Protect them for me?"
"Momma...isn't coming back...?"
"P-Papa...I-I’m so c-c-cold..."
"Papa? What happened...Shadepaw...Shadepaw!"
Memories echoed through his mind. Silvermist begging his promise to protect their kits, breaking the news of Silvermist and Brightkit's deaths to Shadekit and Ebonykit, Shadepaw's tragic last moments, and Ebonypaw's realization of Shadepaw's death. His mind was filled with the images of his family, broken, beaten down, falling apart. He felt so weak, so powerless, and it was breaking him.
Dusk was speaking to him, but Darkblaze couldn't make sense of the words. His ears were filled with haunting echoes. He pressed closer to his brother’s smaller frame, shoulders hunching as his ears pinned themselves to his skull in a vain attempt to shut away the memories. Slowly, he drew in on himself more and more, gradually growing smaller in his anxiety and panic. He barely noticed Dusk’s next words, tinged with alarm. Still, neither sibling moved, not until the storm in Darkblaze’s mind overwhelmed him.
His maw opened and he let out a strangled, desperate cry, eyes squeezed tightly shut. He trembled violently, shattering under the weight of his despair. "I...I can’t... I can’t do this! They’re gone, everyone’s gone...I couldn’t protect them, I couldn’t save them...Shadepaw..." Darkblaze gasped deeply, trying to get air into his constricted lungs. "It’s my fault...I should have made sure he got out safely...I should have brought him home...Do you know why he died?" He opened his eyes and fixed his gaze on Dusk. "Because he stopped to help get other apprentices to safety. His heart, his compassion..."] He sighed and hung his head, shaking it slightly. "If I had gone with him, we could have gotten them all out together. I should have been there to protect him. I could have gotten them all out. ... It’s my fault he’s gone, really." He heaved another deep sigh, before lifting his head and gazing at the forest around them.
He let the silence linger for a moment before speaking again, weariness heavy in his voice. "These forests are tainted. I see their shadows everywhere I look. Every time I close my eyes, I can feel them near, and their voices haunt my sleep. I can’t...I can’t stay here. I’ll never be strong enough to keep Ebonypaw safe with their ghosts so close."
With his awareness coming back to him, Darkblaze finally noticed the sting in his shoulder. Golden eyes glanced down to see blood coating his dark fur, his wound having been dripping for StarClan knows how long. He stared at it blankly as Dusk spoke up.
"Would you... Would you come with me, Darkblaze? Ebonypaw too, of course. To the Tribe. Skyteller would welcome you and your daughter, even if you weren't my kin. I-It could be a fresh start." Darkblaze snapped his head to Dusk, but couldn’t get a reply out before his brother backtracked a little. "If it's what you want. You don't have to decide right now. I'll stay here for a few days."
Darkblaze let his face fall into a small, soft smile. "I would like that very much," he spoke softly. "Ebonypaw might need some convincing, but it should work out. We should probably give my wound time to rest, though. I guess it’s back to the medicine den for me, huh?" That being said, he didn’t move just yet, content to sit beside his brother. Already, things were looking a little brighter. He’d cried, had his screams, vented out some of the emotion building inside him. He would be good for a few days before the weight became too much again. And he had a plan, a plan for the immediate future. For now, he could take a few moments to bask in the comfort offered to him by those simple things and the warmth of his brother’s fur against his own. CAUSE I'M A LITTLE UNSTEADY, A LITTLE UNSTEADY NIGHTCLAN. WARRIOR. 54 MOONS. |
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