[Amber]

NIKO

you're always gonna fly away

just because you know you can

Name: Niko
Age: 32 moons
Gender: Tom
Clan: Loner -> LightningClan -> Loner
Description Summary: A smaller than average coal-striped tom with pale blue eyes.
Picture:
Gallery
Description:

Niko isn't the largest of cats. He's still slightly small, probably in part due to his early life as a loner. Living with LightningClan helped him not grow up tiny, but he still is smaller than average. His fur is somewhere between short and medium in length, and moderately thick. He's fairly monochromatic, with a pale grey base marbled with a grey so dark it's almost black. Interspersed throughout are bits of white, namely around his eyes and his muzzle. His eyes are a slight change from his stormy coat, being a pale blue in color. In his early moons and now, there's a near-constant sadness in his eyes and worry in his expression. For a few seasons in between, though, he was less sad, less worried, as he grew up happy with a new family within LightningClan. Yet after the death of both his adopted fathers, and his subsequent dismissal from the Clan, the sorrowful shadows have returned to his eyes.

Personality:

Warriors have to be strong, courageous, able to look their worst fears in the eye and shred them apart with sharpened claws. Warriors never back down from a fight, and when it comes to protecting family and Clan, a warrior must always fight to win.

Niko is not a warrior.

He's a gentle, kind-hearted soul, one who doesn't like to see others in pain. He knows pain and loss, and wouldn't wish it upon even his worst enemy. He's caring and sweet, and always willing to put others before himself. Yet despite his want to care for others, he's also a timid thing, and nervous around others. When he does manage to make a connection with someone, he clings to them in an almost unhealthy manner.

The death of his mother when he was only two moons has greatly shaped him. He has a deep fear of the ones he loves dying, knowing how easily it can happen. The deaths of Flashbrook and Burningleaf, the cats who adopted him and his siblings shortly after his mother's death, hasn't helped matters. He clings to the cats he loves, as though holding them tightly will prevent them from slipping away. His clinginess, while endearing, can also become hazardous, as he becomes so dependent on another's presence that once that cat is gone, he may not know how to function properly without them.

While growing in LightningClan, he learned that death, though always lingering just out of sight, doesn't come as often as he'd feared, and his clinginess has eased up some. He's also learned that his shyness can prevent him from living a happier life, and has actively tried to overcome it.

After Burningleaf's death, something changed in Niko. He gained the strength to finally face the biggest obstacle in his life, and left LightningClan, being unwilling to revoke the name his mother gave him to get a Clan name. It was difficult on his heart to leave, but he's spent all his life clinging to the last fuzzy memories of his mother, and he'd grown weary of giving his all to a Clan who wouldn't respect that.

History:

Niko was born as the third kit in a litter of four, to a loner named Milana. Their father had parted ways with Milana long before the kits were born, so they knew nothing of their red sire. All they knew was Milana, the sweet silver tabby that birthed them and loved them until death took her from them.

They were born into a difficult time. It was the harshest leafbare Milana had ever seen, and when her kits were barely two months old, a massive blizzard tore through the mountains. As the days dragged on, Milana began to lose hope, and the feeling that she and her kits wouldn't survive the winter grew stronger. She and her kits continued to grow weaker, until she finally herded her kits into a small den for what she felt would be their last night alive.

Milana died that night, but the stars looked down favorably upon her kits. The rising sun brought a patrol of LightningClan cats, whose leader, Burningleaf, discovered the near-frozen kit. After a short argument involving several references to the Warrior's Code, Burningleaf made the executive decision to take the kits back to the safety of the camp with them.

The four kits were allowed to stay withing LightningClan, with Burningleaf and his mate, Flashbrook, becoming their adopted fathers. A few moons later, three of the kits took on Clan names, becoming full apprentices. Niko, however, refused to accept a name change. He wanted to cling to the only thing he had left of the mother he loved, the name she had given him. He was given to his fathers to train, and his life within the Clan seemed a constant battle.

He tried, so hard, to earn his place in LightningClan, even without taking a proper Clan name. It was difficult, though, as most cats looked down on him for refusing to conform to their ways. It didn't matter how many times he pled his case, that he wanted to honor his mother's memory by keeping the last thing she'd given him, they didn't seem to care. He watched as his siblings were all honored as warriors, while he was left behind.

Just a few moons after his siblings earned their warrior names, fire devastated LightningClan's camp. Flashbrook died in the fire, and Burningleaf shattered. Niko tried his best to keep Burningleaf happy, even going so far as to share his nest in the elders' den with him. But despite his best efforts, Burningleaf became a shell of his former self, until Niko woke one morning with his Daddy cold by his side.

It was the second time he'd woken next to a dead parent, and the third cat he'd ever loved and lost. Burningleaf was mourned and buried, Niko staying close by his side as long as he could. He huddled with his siblings during the vigil, trying to impress upon them how much he loved and cherished them.

Shortly after Burningleaf was buried, Niko left the Clan. The last one on his side was gone, and he knew his siblings had just as much sway over Firestar's decisions as he did. He still refused to revoke his name, and left LightningClan. Since then, he's wandered the mountains near the valley aimlessly, not really sure what to do with himself now that he's lost everything dear to him.

RP Sample:

He'd never felt more alone. His mother was long gone. His siblings grown, fitting into their lives in the Clan perfectly. And his fathers, the sweet, gentle, caring toms that had taken them in and protected them from everything, they were gone. With Burningleaf's last breath, Niko had lost the only thing keeping LightningClan from turning him away. When he saw Firestar walking up to him, he knew. Nevermind the fact that he hunted for LightningClan, he fought for LightningClan, he lived and breathed for LightningClan, it wasn't enough. His loyalty lay with the Clan, he'd proven that again and again, but none of it mattered. It would never matter, not unless he revoked the name gifted to him by his mother so many, many moons ago.

He was tired. Tired of fighting to win the love and trust of a Clan that would never accept it, not unless he gave up the last precious thing he had. No more. He couldn't keep--wouldn't keep going like this. As Firestar strode his way, he lifted his head and squared his shoulders. There was so much sorrow in his heart. His Daddy was only just buried, and now would be Firestar's final decision.

"No." His voice had deepened with age, and though he wasn't the largest cat, by far, he wasn't quite the tiny little kitten he used to be. Firestar's stride paused, and he took her shock to press on. "I will not revoke my name just to appease your ideals. If my loyalty to you and to LightningClan hasn't been proven by now, then so be it." He caught sight of his littlest sister, Cloudyfeather, in the corner of his eye, and felt his heart break just a little more. "If my actions have not been enough to prove, Clan name or not, that I live and die for this Clan, then just say so, and I'll leave. I will leave, and never darken your territory with my presence again."

It felt strange, to stand up to LightningClans leader like this, when all he'd ever been was sweet and quiet and gentle. But Burningleaf's death had snapped something within him, and he was weary of the endless circles he seemed to be racing just to earn the Clan's trust. All over a name. All because he wanted to keep the last memory of his mother alive, and they wanted him to conform to their beliefs and blend in like all the rest. He was tired of it. Tired of giving his all for cats that would never treat him as an equal.

At Firestar's resigned sigh, Niko nodded. He stood, silently, and turned away. Cloudyfeather and Galestorm were nearby, watching with wide eyes. He dipped his head to them, afraid to go too close for fear of not being able to leave. He still remembered the names their mother had given them, too. Mina and Priscilla. Across the camp, their brother Sunnyheart stared at him with an expression similar to the two she-cats. Dathi was once his name. But Niko just couldn't let go. They had all moved on, and left him behind. The gulf between them had never felt so vast.

With one last glance between his siblings, Niko forced his paws to move, carrying himself out of camp before his heart grew too weak. He knew Firestar would send warriors after him to escort him to the border. He knew they would leave him there, and he knew that his life was about to become so very, very lonely.

@tags | @tags

never gonna learn there's no such

place as neverland, you don't understand