[Deleted]

BITTERNPAW

      For as long as she could remember, she was treated differently. Even as a kit barely able to walk upon her spindly little legs, stumbling around the semidarkness of the warm nursery which was as far as her world expanded to, she was treated differently. She could still recall her mother's nurturing scent mixing in with her father's, along with the high-pitched mewls of her brother nestled against her tiny body. She could remember the rumble of her paternal figure's deep voice so stark against the soft trickling from the river in the distance. Her senses had been overloaded the first few days of her short existence, and yet only a few things were stored as lifelong memories - memories that she now looked back at as an apprentice of the Clan that had ostracized her the moment she had been forming within her mother's womb.

    "She doesn't belong here" ...
    "She'll never be a real RainClan cat" ...
    "She and her brother should go back to StoneClan where they belong" ...

    Judgement was passed upon the kittens from a young age. Naturally this affected the fluffy tortoiseshell she-cat in many ways. From her lowered self-esteem to her nitpicking of the Warrior Code, her subconscious was twisted and molded over time until it was barely fit for a feline of her age. 

    "What's wrong with them?" ...
    "She just can't fit in" ...
    "Ignore her, she's just a RainClan wannabe" ...

    At first she hid herself away from her Clanmates, away from their scrutinizing gazes and their sharp words which bit like a snake's fangs. She was scared of them, frightening by the idea of ever trying to win them over. Her solace was found in the back of the apprentice's den, scarfed within the multitude of shadows which blended in with her dark pelt and made her appear invisible. Time and time again she would imagine herself running far, far away from this place or perhaps pondering if it would have been best if she had just never been born at all.

    "They don't understand me" ...
    "They hate me, and I hate them" ...
    "What have I done wrong?" ...

    Having suffered in silence for far too long, the peppered feline's thoughts began to morph and change. Words that blamed herself began to sour, shifting its negative gaze towards anyone else but the Half-Clan she-cat. Bitterness and hatred began to bubble, only surfacing when another cat approached her, whether it be with question, comment, or insult. She spared none her endless spite.

    "I'll show them all" ...
    "I don't need them" ...
    "They all mean nothing to me" ...

    A wall appeared. A tall, tall wall that blocked the young female away from the rest of the world. A wall that she built herself, fueled by the pain she had endured all these moons. A wall that stands proudly untouched and unmoved. A wall that has only managed to slowly crumble away the last of Bitternpaw's happiness and any hope that someone - anyone - could finally break through.

    "I'm all alone" ...
    "But I'm not scared" ...
    "I won't let anyone hurt me again" ...

thanks brooklyn