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Post by Insidious on Jan 18, 2015 13:25:49 GMT -5
B L U E P A W
- - - - - - It had taken a few small lies, a few twists on the truth, to reach her designated meeting place with Rushwhisker, but she’d have time to apologize to Brokensong for that later. Thinking about it - because there was no denying that she’d choose to feel bad about it now, not later - it had been wrong of her to take advantage of the mute she-cat in such a way. She had never lied to anyone before. She had never intended to send an unsuspecting cat upon the trail of prey that she had conjured up for the sake of her own escape. Now Brokensong was pursuing a scent that didn’t exist because of her, and all the while she was venturing off towards StarClan’s Claws to meet with a RainClan tom that she wasn’t supposed to have feelings for.
But she did.
Who would have thought that the day would come when Bluepaw had feelings for a tom that very well rivaled her sentiment for TreeClan? She wanted to see him more than she wanted to hunt for her Clan. She cared more about making his eyes sparkle with delight than being honest with someone that had never been anything short of kind to her. Surely, she would find Brokensong later and tell her everything - she deserved to have the truth after Bluepaw had so outrageously lied to her. Although she wasn’t fond of spilling her biggest secret to someone that wasn’t Pinkpaw (whom she trusted with all of her heart) she took comfort in the fact that, even if Brokensong did want to tell Lionstar of her treachery to the Clan, she couldn’t.
. . . What was happening to her to cause such thoughts!
She felt physically pained by her own poor behaviour as of late, but then again, what else could she do if she wanted to be able to spend some time with Rushwhisker? She would make it up the whole of TreeClan later, but right now, she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to enjoy his company for a little while.
Pushing through the branches that concealed her pathway with immense determination, a huge grin broke out across her bluish-gray face, skipping up the length of the rock on which he rested with an obvious lightness in her step. She settled at the tom-cat’s side, a little closer than she would have dared the first time they had met here. Already, her mind had almost completely eased itself of any worries revolving around Brokensong. “I’m happy that you decided to come,” she purred, “I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to make it.” His being here eased a lot of the tension that she was feeling, unsure of whether or not he cared about her enough to take some time away from RainClan to spend with her instead. She had spent all of the previous night pondering whether or not she should tell him how she felt about him. If she did, then she was creating a kind of permanency that she couldn’t take back. It would mean that she was deciding that her feelings for him outweighed her loyalty to TreeClan. Was that what it would mean?
She shifted her forepaws uneasily, contemplating the risks. “I like spending time with you.” Her cheeks burned - thankfully it couldn’t be seen. Had she said that aloud? Would he look at her strangely? Would he regret meeting her here? There were too many questions bombarding her from all directions, and the uncomfortableness of it was overwhelming. If she kept this up, she feared that her heart would explode. If she let this go, however, she feared that her heart breaking would be even worse - - - - - - Tags: Fate Admin
Word Count: 614. |
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Post by Fate Admin on Jan 18, 2015 17:11:04 GMT -5
Thinking about Bluepaw made him feel… happy, and that was saying something. Rushwhisker had been feeling far less depressed since talking with Bluepaw and approaching Russethawk, asking for forgiveness for the way he’d been acting. Everytime he found his thoughts drifting back to that dark place he had been in for so long he thought of the willow and the scratches he had made there for his siblings, keeping silent vigil for him so that he might move forward and live his life as he knew they would want him to live it, whether they were alive or dead. Even with the heavy weight of grief made lighter through his mentor’s help, thinking about Bluepaw was still like a warm ray of sunshine for his battered and recovering heart.
He had been feeling so conflicted about it lately. His thoughts kept wandering to her, wondering what she might be doing in TreeClan… if she ever thought about him? He would spend a quiet day fishing and find himself wishing she was there beside him, enjoying the fine weather and the quiet. He would pass under the trailing willow branches at the Willow Stream and wonder if Bluepaw wouldn’t find the place as beautiful as he did. And there would always be a fine nook among the roots, with a ready made leaf bed, where he thought they could curl up together and just enjoy each other’s quiet company for a while. Then he would wake up from his daydreaming and wonder what in StarClan’s name he was thinking.
He had kept these thoughts to himself, of course. They made him feel guilty and he wasn’t sure why. They weren’t affecting his duties as a warrior. It wasn’t like he was betraying his Clan, but it sort of made him feel like he was. Why was he constantly thinking about a TreeClan apprentice? Maybe because she understood him, and he understood her, and she made him feel like there was actually something right in the world again… something worth living for. He had been pleasantly surprised when she’d asked him to meet her at StarClan’s Claws at the last Gathering. He had been unsure at the time if he should go or not. Cats from separate Clans didn’t generally plan to meet up at StarClan’s Claws randomly. And it wasn’t at all that he didn’t trust Bluepaw or thought she was setting him up for something, as some rival Clan cats might have immediately thought, it was just that… he couldn’t tell anyone.
If you were doing something that you couldn’t tell any other cat for fear of getting in trouble, then it generally wasn’t the right thing to do. He had so many conflicted feelings over Bluepaw, but she had honestly come to be one of his best friends, even if they didn’t get to see each other very often. How he wished TreeClan was their neighbor instead of NightClan or StoneClan. It would be so much easier to meet her at the border every not and then, so much less… suspicious. And that made him wonder about it as well. He didn’t want to have to make excuses to his Clanmates, to hide things from them. He didn’t want to lie to them. But he couldn’t just not go, he couldn’t leave Bluepaw waiting for him and never show up, she meant too much to him.
So it was with all these conflictions roiling around in his head like a nest of angry bees that he made his way to StarClan’s Claws under the guise of ‘hunting’. He would catch a fish or two before he went back to camp, so he wouldn’t be entirely lying, at least, but it still left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had climbed up the Great Rock and padded over to the TreeClan side, sitting and waiting for her arrival, glancing back over his shoulder and worrying that one of Clanmates would see him and ask what was going on. The moment she appeared, however, all thoughts about his Clanmates fell away and he couldn’t help but purr as she joined him atop the Great Rock, their fur almost brushing as she sat beside him.
He looked over at her as she spoke, admiring her pretty blue eyes, bright and clear like the sky. “Of course I would come,” he blurted, then looked down at his paws, feeling warm, “I’m a warrior, after all… we… have a little more freedom than apprentices, usually.” Silence fell between them briefly, and then she shifted and spoke again. His ears angled forward at her words as he looked back over at her, feeling as if his heart had leaped into his throat. He inhaled deeply and risked leaning closer to her, pressing gently against her side and closing his eyes so he could better appreciate the softness of her fur, “I….” He swallowed, finding it hard to speak all of a sudden, his voice soft, “I’m never happier than when I’m with you….” He looked over at her meaningfully, hoping he hadn’t interpreted her words wrong… that she felt the same way he did. |
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Post by Insidious on Jan 18, 2015 18:10:58 GMT -5
B L U E P A W
- - - - - - Once he pressed himself against her, closer than she would have been brave enough to chance, she released an uneven breath. Her emotions were getting the better of her, she could feel it happening, but there was not a single thing she wanted to do in order to stop it. “Rushwhisker, there’s something I want to tell you . . .” The words were out of her mouth before she could even process what she was trying to say. He made her feel safe. He made her feel like there was something better than happiness that could reside inside of her heart. At the end of the day, was that not what was the most important? That she was being open and honest with those she cared the most for? She realized, especially when he was as close to her as he was right now, that she did not care that he was of RainClan. Up until now, she had thought of it as an obstacle that prevented them from being together. It certainly made it difficult for them to spend time with each other, but she would not say that it was impossible any longer. Rushwhisker meant something to her; it was the kind of something that could not be directly defined, because she had no idea how to explain it. She believed that her mentor and leader would understand that it did not compromise her loyalty, because her love of TreeClan was in no way lessened by what she felt for this RainClan tom. She believed that Pinkpaw would be thrilled by her having found someone that understood her to the extent that Rushwhisker did. Which, after all, was truer than true could be - he understood her, and that was something that she had never had before. Everyone else could always find something about her disposition that made her weak, that needed to be altered for her own benefit, but he did not see any part of her as a flaw, and that was because he knew better than to think that anything had to be changed. He did not believe that caring so immensely for the cats in her life was a downfall, and for that, she had never been quite so grateful.
“I’ve actually wanted to tell you for a while, but it never seemed like the timing was right, or like anything good would amount from me telling you in the first place . . .” She was rambling. She knew that, and he probably knew that, too. Warily, she lifted her chin so that she may better peer into his eyes, trying and failing to blink the sentiment out of her icy blue gaze, fixed upon him affectionately. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really like spending time with you, which I’ve already said, but it’s because I feel like nobody else can make me feel as happy as you can.” A shy smile stretched across Bluepaw’s mouth, trying her best to stay on track with what she wanted to tell him - it hadn’t even been said yet. Inhaling and exhaling a few calming breaths, she turned her head towards him once more, gathering the words on her tongue and attempting to spit them out before she could think better of it. “I like you, Rushwhisker.”
And suddenly it was said, put out in the open for him to either reject or reciprocate, her concerns about what her Clan would think about her choice in a RainClan tom suddenly so much less important than looking into Rushwhisker’s eyes and trying to discern the way he was feeling. A rejection would, at this point, do a considerable amount of damage to what courage she had been able to find in the first place. It was unlike Bluepaw to be so absorbed by her own emotions; normally she did not bother to think of herself until she had thought of everybody else in the world first and foremost. But it was different with Rushwhisker. When they were alone together, she felt like it was okay to spend a few minutes focusing on what she wanted, instead of feeling like she was being rude or inconsiderate by not checking in with all of the significant felines involved in her life. Maybe Lionstar would even be a little proud that she was taking some of his advice from one of their first talks. Maybe Pinkpaw would be relieved that, for once, her first priority wasn’t her sister. It probably would not be ideal that she had found that with a RainClan cat, but she had found it nonetheless. It was there, she was acknowledging it, and it had all been able to happen because she had run into a stranger by coincidence alone.
She had found something in Rushwhisker that nobody in TreeClan had been able to offer to her. She could admit to herself, albeit a little guiltily, that his being of RainClan worried her a little in the back of her mind - she would hate to disappoint anybody in TreeClan because she had found herself taken with someone of a different allegiance. She wanted to believe that what was between them could potentially be more powerful than the restrictions of being born into two separate Clans, but the voice of reason that she possessed and, for the first time, was having to use on herself was informing her that such a belief was naïve. For the time being, she was comfortable ignoring that voice. Right now, she was with Rushwhisker, and that made her happier than anything else. She would hold onto whatever they had for as long as she could, and the whole time she would allow herself to believe that there would never be a reason for her to have to let go.
Perhaps that would be selfish of her, childish even, but if Rushwhisker cared about her to the same extent that she cared about him, then would it be so bad for her to want something that made her feel so incredibly joyful? There was nothing but the Clans standing in their way, and despite how much she found herself despising their strict rules and laws because of that, she discovered shortly afterward that she could not feel that for long. She upheld the code obediently, and even though right now it seemed like nothing would be important enough to her to effectively stand between her relationship with Rushwhisker, she could not help wonder to what extent she would be able to continue breaking the rules she had sworn to obey without question. - - - - - - Tags: Fate Admin
Word Count: 1099. |
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