[BlooRey DVD]

Minnowsplash,

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales, in comparison to what lies inside you
_{Ralph Waldo Emerson}

A pair of RainClan cats lay side by side by the river on the outskirts of the camp. It provided a modicum of privacy, while also ensuring they were safe, never too far from the camp if something happened. Bravebird’s white form was curled protectively around the fawn-colored shape of his long-furred mate Minnowsplash. The seasons were changing again, bringing cooler weather ever closer and threatening to drape them in the clutches of Leafbare. In the past, Minnowsplash had been part of Bravebird’s warmth, considering his coat was so much shorter than hers.

But this was not a tom seeking warmth in the embrace of his mate. At least, not completely.

Bravebird had always been affectionate toward her, this much was true. The truth was, however, his behavior had become even more so since mid-Newleaf. Since her miscarriage of kits neither of them had even been aware of. Since she’d nearly lost her life.

She swallowed something threatening to rise in her throat, her heart seizing painfully at what should likely have been distant memories. Still, they swam just shy of the front of her brain as she leaned against the tom she loved so very much, her cheek rest against his chest as she quietly breathed in his scent, eyes surveying the remainder of the morning mist drifting over the river’s water.

That fearful agony she felt, the one that returned without warning whenever she had even a moment too long in her own thoughts… It was a strange thing. Of course she feared death. In those heartbeats of insufferable pain, when every muscle in her abdomen had shivered and writhed with the explicit knowledge that something wasn’t right, Minnowsplash had expected to die. It had felt as though she were on fire, from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail, her mind barely able to comprehend the fact she still needed to breathe. That she wanted it all to stop. That she wanted Bravebird.

She didn’t want to die.

But even the thought that she had been so close was nothing compared to the quiet, piercing agony that lodged itself in her heart whenever she thought about the fact she’d almost been a mother. That Bravebird had almost been a father. They had been so close to having a family.

A long-furred tail twitched involuntarily as the she-cat suppressed a shiver, masking the motion of her tail by winding it around his. Her muzzle tilted upwards, tucking itself under Bravebird’s chin as she drew her eyes away from the river for the first time since they had settled down here together. The pair had long since surpassed the phase of needing to fill the air between them with words. In fact, they’d been sat in comfortable silence much of the morning, capable of simply co-existing in perfect contentment. That is… until the storm of her thoughts had become too thick to ignore.

A prick of uncertainty tickled her heart, but the pale she-cat couldn’t ignore the thought any longer. He may have concerns, for they had spent weeks wrapped up in one another after the incident, her sobbing her grief into his fur. Perhaps he too had had tears to shed; if so, he had waited for her to lull herself into exhausted sleep before he cried. She would listen to his concerns, for her life and his were connected now, her heart as much his as it was hers. But this was something she wanted. From the depth of her core, she wanted it. And she was finished letting grief, sorrow, and fear stop her from ever reaching it.

“B-Brave?” She stammered softly, breaking that quiet. The nerves causing her to stammer were plain to see in the minuscule motions her paws made where they rested on the ground. She took a deep breath before she tried again, steadying herself and remembering just who she was speaking to. “Wind in my wings, sun in my sky… I… I want to try again. On purpose, this time. I want… Want to know it is happening and be proud to call them ours… I… I want to have kits. Your kits.” She whispered against his fur, holding her breath as she waited for his response.

RainClan, She-Cat, 66 Moons

_{~700 words Phoenix <3 <3 <3}