[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

It was early, but the sun was rising fast and the night's chill was nearly gone. Adderpaw's green eyes opened to the light that beamed into the tree that made up the camp. Curled in her nest with a paw draped over her nose, she remained motionless for a short time, watching a few of the warriors drag themselves from their den and stumble over to the fresh-kill pile, to eat before heading out on the dawn patrol. Only when they were gone did she sit up, stretching and yawning before turning to Hemlockpaw and giving him a single prod on the shoulder.

Their eyes met briefly but she said nothing; he would know. They had made their decision, and just the night before Adderpaw had suggested leaving today. Greenleaf was nearly on them. The weather was warm and the prey fat enough to sustain them. Why wait? She padded from the den, pausing just once to snatch a mouse and quickly devouring it. They wouldn't miss one, and the hunting patrols would find more. Mid-chew, Adderpaw glanced over at her brother and inclined her head toward the fresh-kill, inviting him to take one. Better to start out with a full belly, in her mind- she didn't know if he'd feel the same way.

"Eat," she encouraged. "Quickly. We should be on our way before any of them want to know what we're up to." Specifically their mother, who would make this nearly impossible. As she swallowed the last bite, Adderpaw turned toward the camp entrance. "I will wait for you outside."

@zen || Notes

[Deleted]

Ever since I could remember, everything inside of me just wanted to fit in.
I was never one for pretenders. Everything I tried to be just wouldn't settle in...

---

Curled up in his nest beside his sister, Hemlockpaw had barely slept all night. He dozed lightly for short periods, jerked awake, laid there, unable to fall back asleep for the longest time. Leaving TreeClan had been on his mind ever since Ravenstorm’s death, and his conversation with Adderpaw, knowing she would come with him, that he wouldn’t have to be alone if he left, gave him some peace of mind over the idea. He would have hated being on his own, leaving his entire family behind. But if his sister would come with him….

She had no attachment to the Clan, no real attachment to much of anything really. He still wasn’t entirely sure why she had told him she would leave with him. Maybe it was curiosity on her part, or a want to be free of the mundane expectations of the Clan? She certainly didn’t care at all about the rules and traditions and training. She didn’t seem to care much about anything. But somehow she had made him feel like she cared about him, and coming from Adderpaw that meant a great deal.

She had brought it up again last night and they had finalized their plan to leave. When she prodded his shoulder in the morning, he was already awake, though his eyes closed as he attempted to eke out a bit more rest after his restless night. He looked up at her, anxiety writhing in his belly, and she made her way from the den. Hemlockpaw took a moment to sit up, look around the den and the other apprentices. He and Adderpaw really ought to be warriors by now. But Adderpaw didn’t care about such things and ever since his sister’s death, Hemlockpaw hadn’t much cared either.

He stood and followed his sister out into camp, found her eating a mouse. She encouraged him to eat as well, but his stomach lurched at the thought and he shook his head, speaking softly, “N-no… I’m not hungry.” When she told him she would meet him outside of camp, he nodded and stood there a few moments longer. This was his home. His family was still here. His mother was sleeping in the warriors’ den. His heart squeezed painfully at the thought of her, leaving her without a word. But he was certain she would never allow them to leave if they gave her the chance. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I messed everything up.

He turned and hurried out of camp, stepping up beside Adderpaw where he found her waiting, swallowing the lump of emotion that stuck in his throat, “Let’s go.” They stayed away from the main pathways most of the Clan took to traverse the territory, went the opposite direction of the dawn patrol, and finally reached TreeClan’s border with the mountains. He paused at the scentline, as he had when he and Adderpaw had first had their conversation about leaving, and then he stepped over it and continued forward, gray fur brushing tortoiseshell as the siblings continued onward side by side.

And the further they got from TreeClan’s border, the more his stomach settled, the more he was certain leaving was the right thing to do. It dawned on him that they would do whatever they wanted. They didn’t need permission to do anything. They didn’t need to hide anything, or pretend anything. They were free. There was a weight lifted off him that he hadn’t even realized was there and his step quickened until he bounded ahead, laughing, and paused to look back at his sister. “We can do whatever we want!” he grinned at her, as if this was the most amazing revelation.

---

If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared?

Taxx

[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

Hemlockpaw looked like he was about to be sick. He refused her suggestion to eat and she didn't push, simply swallowed her last mouthful and padded out into the warm sunshine. She glanced around, knew that she would probably never be here again- and felt nothing. No regret for her decision, no mourning for know she wouldn't be sleeping here tonight, no grief for the cats she was leaving behind. She wasn't exactly bursting with excitement for what lay ahead, either, simply desiring to be on their way before they had to answer questions from some warrior.

She glanced over as Hemlockpaw appeared from the fallen tree, nodded once as he spoke, and followed him. Her ears flicked back just before they slid into the brush, but no voice called after them as they slid out of sight, and she relaxed. They made their own way, avoiding the well-worn paths among the trees, making good time toward the border where they had first talked about leaving. Adderpaw didn't hesitate, crossing it ahead of her brother and then pausing to look back. He followed a moment later, and then they left TreeClan's territory behind. No going back. Not that she wanted to.

And, judging by Hemlockpaw's growing ease, she was feeling more certain that he wouldn't suddenly change his mind and beg her to return to the Clan with him. The tortoiseshell watched as her brother ran ahead, tail lifted and eyes shining in a way they hadn't since Ravenstorm's death. This was more like the brother she knew, and she closed the distance between them, offering a light flick of her tail against his flank. "So we can." No more patrols, no more listening to cats who thought they knew better just because they were a rank above. Rules and restrictions lay behind, a life of freedom to do whatever they chose lay ahead. "What first, brother? Shall we explore, and see what there is to see? We might hunt too- you must be hungry."

@zen || Notes

[Deleted]

Ever since I could remember, everything inside of me just wanted to fit in.
I was never one for pretenders. Everything I tried to be just wouldn't settle in...

---

Shifting from paw to paw and grinning like he hadn’t in moons, Hemlockpaw looked around, considering their options as his sister posed her question to him. The possibilities were endless! He thought about asking Adderpaw what she might like to do first, but she didn’t tend to have strong opinions about much and he wasn’t certain she would really care, or she wouldn’t have asked him to begin with. His tail flicked back and forth as he thought about it. Was he hungry? While he no longer felt sick to his stomach, excitement had replaced the feeling and he found he still had no more appetite than he had before they’d left.

“No, I’m okay for now. We can hunt later. We should probably explore some and find a good place to sleep tonight, maybe?” He looked over at her, reminded of practicalities with her mention of hunting. One ear twisted back the way they’d come and he glanced away, toward TreeClan territory, “Or… maybe we should just work on getting farther away. Do you think they’ll send a patrol looking for us? I really… I really don’t want to be found.”

He was sure their mother would be in any patrol that went searching for them, and he knew he would never be able to say to no to her if she found them, wanted them to come back. It was why he hadn’t said goodbye. He loved her, he hated leaving her like this, but in the end… the way he felt out here, free of the guilt and shame at last, he knew it was the right choice. He couldn’t go back. Every cat that looked at him had either judgment or pity in their eyes and he couldn’t even look at Berrythorn without being reminded of Ravenstorm and what he had done. It had always been so hard, keeping everything he wanted, everything he was, locked away for the sake of fitting in. He had wanted to fit in so badly.

Adderpaw didn’t care. She knew about the things he wanted to do and she had told him she could always talk to her about them. She accepted him. He didn’t have to hide with her. He could be who he was and not feel odd at best, or like a sick freak at worst. He turned back to his sister, a sudden purr rumbling in his chest as he pressed his nose to her cheek, “Thank you for coming with me, Adderpaw. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

---

If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared?

Taxx

[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

Admittedly, distancing themselves from the TreeClan border was a smart idea. "Let's do that first, then," she replied, turning her gaze toward the mountains she knew lay beyond the trees. Maybe there would be caves small enough for them on the slopes, and they would be far enough from the TreeClan border to keep any cat from spotting them. She flicked her tail at Hemlockpaw's flank again, taking a step forward only to pause as he leaned closer, pressing his nose to her cheek and purring.

After a short pause, she purred back. "I couldn't let you go alone. And clearly, leaving was the right thing to do. You are much happier already." That was plainly obvious, looking into her brother's shining eyes and easily waving tail. He was looking ahead now, to the future, no longer lingering over the incident that had led to Ravenstorm's death. "Come, we should keep going," she continued, and padded on, weaving her way around trees and bushes.

Her gaze turned again toward Hemlockpaw, and she slowed her pace, but kept going as she spoke again. "I was thinking- yesterday, when we decided to leave. We're not Clan anymore, we're not bound to their naming ways. But. I think I will keep to it. Not Adderpaw, no. Adderpool. It does fit me, don't you think, Hemlockpaw?"

@zen || Notes