Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 16:54:26 GMT -5
Takes place sometime after Falling More Apart,
likely shortly before he actually tries to kill Swanfeather, whenever that will be xD
likely shortly before he actually tries to kill Swanfeather, whenever that will be xD
There'll be no rest, there'll be no love...
More and more, Rushwhisker found himself thinking about Swanfeather, and about how RainClan needed to be saved from her. With his apprentice a warrior, without her to train, he had a lot more time for thinking, and the dark conclusion he had come to made his stomach churn. Swanfeather had to die, and it seemed he would have to be the one to kill her. As much as he hated her, he could still feel the wrongness in the thought, the idea, of killing another cat. Ashflight had not hesitated in killing Surgeclaw, she didn't even feel any remorse for it, so why did he hesitate when it came to Swanfeather? Everything that had happened was because of her. Even Surgeclaw.
Even the warrior code gave lenience for killing when a cat was outside the code. And Swanfeather followed no code but her own. She was a danger to the entire Clan, the entire valley, as she had proven by leading RainClan into war against StoneClan. She was cursed, a medicine cat forsaken by StarClan, and no cat could be safe while she lived. He had to kill her. For Ashflight. For Ferngaze. For the future of RainClan, that the Clan he had once loved above all else might become something he could love again, even though he doubted he would live to see it.
As he settled into his nest that night, he was resolved.
When Rushwhisker woke, he knew it was a dream. He knew it for the achingly familiar scent and beautiful blue-gray fur of the she-cat standing in front of him, starlight glittering in her pelt. He found himself at StarClan's Claws, on the great rock the leaders addressed the Clans from. The place they'd first met. He was still curled up, as if he were in his nest, as he raised his head to look at her.
“Oh, Rushwhisker...,” there was such sadness in her pretty bright blue eyes as she looked down at him.
He rose to his paws and stepped forward quickly to meet her, his cheek brushing hers until he could shove his nose into the soft fur at her neck and breathe in a scent that had been gone from the world for moons, “Bluejay... Bluejay.... I miss you.” A soft purr of reassurance and a lick on his cheek had him pulling back to look at her again. It had been so long since he had last seen her. After her death he didn't dream of her. It was as though she had left him completely behind. But here she was. “I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I should have left. I should have joined you in TreeClan. It wasn't worth it, Bluejay... losing you... they weren't worth it.”
Her voice was soft with pain, “No, Rushwhisker.... TreeClan needed me. They needed me to be their medicine cat. And you know I would always choose my Clan over you. I'm sorry. We could never have been, even if you had joined us.”
He shook his head in return, “At least I would have been able to say goodbye! I didn't... I didn't even get to say goodbye.... I could have been with you, til the end, I could have....”
She touched her nose to his cheek, gentle, “You never needed to say goodbye. I have been here. I have always been with you.” He shook his head again, at a loss for words, choking on his emotions, and she took a step back, her bright gaze turning serious, “I know what you plan to do, Rushwhisker. Please. If you love me, don't do this.”
It took him a moment to realize what she meant. The fur along his spine rose and a hardness entered his tone, “I have to.”
She shook her head in protest, her voice taking on a hint of desperation, “You don't! This isn't you!”
“No... it isn't. It's me, without you,” he said slowly, taking a step away from her, “I gave myself to RainClan instead of you. And RainClan needs me to do this. So I will. It will be the last thing I ever do for them. It will set them free.”
“It is murder!” Bluejay cried. Silence fell between them for a few heartbeats as they only looked at each other, both defiant, “You'll never be able to go back from this. We... we will never be together.” It wasn't anger that cracked her voice, but pain so deep it wrenched his heart, nearly made him reconsider.
He had to look away from her. Staring down at his paws, he drew on the strength of the conviction he had felt only moments before, and finally managed to look back up, his gaze cold, “You chose your Clan and I chose mine. We both have to live with that choice.”
Her tail drooped slowly to the ground, a fresh wave of pain crossing her pretty features as she realized she had lost, she could not convince him. She shook her head, her voice soft, fading, as was the rest of her, like fog burned away by the morning sun as the sky around them lightened, “Oh, Rushwhisker....”
He blinked open his eyes in the light of dawn, the memory of his dream vivid in his mind. So StarClan wouldn't have him if he did this? Fine. What use did he have for ancestors that had stolen everything from him anyway?
There'll be no hero in the end who will rise above.
OOC: This was not actually Bluejay, it was not a dream from StarClan, just a normal dream, but Rushwhisker thinks it was real. He's only slightly delusional x'D
Hellion