[williams]

{year 5, beginning of greenleaf. a response to the npc purge}
dewpaw could see the stars tonight. she swore they were twinkling at her like the blinking of eyes, asking for her thoughts as the clan slept. but her words were caught in her throat, sticking painfully against the ribs of her chest. they buried two more cats today, two more rainclan cats she was supposed to keep healthy and protect from the elements. she knew death was a part of life. they hunted smaller animals to eat, fished from the rivers. survival required death, as their little speech said when they asked starclan to take care of these new souls. dewpaw had watched with wide blue eyes as her clanmate's fur got covered with dirt, hiding their physical selves entirely from the living world. she hadn't been able to look away. they were simply gone and now she had an ache in her chest that hadn't gone away. how do you deal with death when your job was to fight it? was this something she asked her mentors about? would swanfeather give helpful advice, or would frostfang? should she talk with her mother instead? could silverstar be the most helpful party?

she sighed out loud, curling up tighter in her nest. over her tail, she could see swanfeather's flank rise and fall in her sleep. it took all of her self control to not nudge the older she-cat awake. she's going to die some day too, she thought, and fear constricted her throat with sudden tears. starclan, will you keep her safe? please, she deserves rest, unaching joints, a reason to smile. dewpaw sent her prayers up to the stars, pleading with the unemotional specks in the sky. no response came, so she carefully uncurled herself, shuffling closer to swanfeather. when their sides touched, dewpaw curled back up and listened to the heartbeat thumping gently into her system. she matched their breathing, calming the storm that churned in her stomach. as she breathed, she went through her medicine cat vows again, thinking back to her first moon tree visit. warmth of her memories spread through her system, loosening the knot of tension. i will keep them safe starclan. i promised that before and i will keep that promise. sleep settled into her bones like the humidity before a rain storm, heavy and familiar. still unsettled but feeling more secure in her path, dewpaw let the flow take her to her dreams.