[BlooRey DVD]

50 Moons Tom NightClan

Silence seemed to fill most of his days. Since he'd walked Hazeheart to a new life two seasons ago, there wasn't much left for him here. He found himself wondering more and more whether he should have gone with Hazeheart and that strange she-cat. And yet, something had brought him back to NightClan. Perhaps it had been the faintest of hope instilled in him by Hollystorm's words. Had he expected something more to come from that? Whatever he'd thought, he'd evidently been wrong. A shard of ice remained wedged between them, and briefly he wondered if she'd only been playing with him, seeing if she could get him to stay.

Swallowing the bile that had risen in his throat, Sunpulse breathed out slowly as he padded toward nowhere in particular. NightClan's camp had been stifling to him suddenly, the golden tom needing to get out of there. But what did the rest of NightClan's territory have to offer him? With every passing day, he felt further and further away from... From everything. Himself, his family, his friends, everything that had ever made NightClan feel like home. Shutting his eyes to steady himself, the tom ceased his pathless wander and fell into a slumped sit.

He lost track of how long he spent just... Sitting. However long it took him to dispel the uncertain tremor in his shoulders, he supposed. When he no longer felt as though he were choking on air, when he no longer felt as though his chest might cave in on itself, the golden tom let his amber eyes open. He was met with an all too familiar sight: the Pineneedle Clearing. Its familiarity was jarring for many reasons. He wasn't sure what had brought him here. Not many of his memories of here were all that pleasant anymore.

Coyotepaw's training had been long, far longer than it should have, for a multitude of reasons. And the last moons of it had felt longer still, for he'd proceeded through the training mechanically, without much feeling to it all. He didn't want to be here, and yet he couldn't find the energy in his paws to lead him away. And so he remained seated, reliving some of the darkest and longest moons of his life, and feeling as though he were being buried alive. His shoulders began to slump beneath an invisible weight, his head lowering as his ears flattened to his skull.

Time trickled on, images flickering before his empty eyes, until something stirred his attention. A sound, something like a snapping of a twig among the muffled sounds of the pine-covered clearing. Sunpulse wasn't sure what possessed him to glance over his shoulder, but he did. And it was here that his dull gaze landed upon a black-coated figure that was equal parts familiar and foreign to him.

Hollystorm.
--
Word Count: ~480 words
Tags: Fawn
Notes: >> Surprise? Maybe they can battle it out (literally and figuratively)

The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one;
Yet the light of a bright world dies with the dying Sun

[Fawn]

Baby I need light, I need fire

36 Moons Warrior NightClan

Ghostpaw's training was going smoothly. As strange for Hollystorm to think that she was an aunt and had the great fortune of training her nephew, she was enjoying herself. Ghostpaw was inquisitive, and despite his recent tussle with Briarthroat's apprentice - a fiesty little scrap of fur - he was progressing nicely.

Her happiness, however, felt incomplete. It was at a tenth of what it should have been, and she knew why. Frustration and anger over that fact drove her to the pineneedle clearing; the snow was beginning to melt, and she could finally get some battle training done in peace. He's so overdramatic, hissed the dark she-cat as he executed a neat turn and pounce, claws shredding the damp needles below into fragments. It's as if he's punishing me for making the right decision all those moons ago.

It had been almost a lifetime, since their breakup. But he still refused to rhyme. He still refused to let their relationship begin to mend; it was as if he was happier this way, as if some sadistic part of the once-happiest tom in NightClan found enjoyment in suffering. In making them both suffer.

Hollystorm couldn't stand it.

I tried to do what was best for Coalmask and for the Clan at the time. How long is he going to keep holding this over me? Worse still, if Hollystorm felt he wasn't blaming her, then he wasn't thinking of her at all. Which was the heavier pill to swallow? Being ignored, or being the cause of someone's agony? StarClan, she'd thought about giving him a taste of his own medicine right back. StarClan knew he'd deserve it a little. But that would only perpetuate this cycle of defeat.

It was like they were trapped in a battle - a confusing, long-suffering battle with no clear end in sight. Oh, how ironic that the thing she needed him to do the most - talk - was something he'd once been so good at.

Hollystorm fought until she no longer felt the last of winter's bite through her semi-long fur. Thirsty after the workout, she briefly left the clearing in search of a stream or puddle of snow-melt to quench herself with; when she returned, her thoughts moody, her expression haughty, a shocking scent hit her full in the face. Hollystorm's steps faltered, and a twig snapped under the weight of her sudden back-step.

Foxdung.

Eyes as bright as the sun fixed themselves on her. Where once they'd created a feeling of warmth and happiness in her heart, Hollystorm felt the contrast. Guess what? Sunlight hurt too, and he was burning her with his vacant stare, as if she'd carved out his heart and thrown it into the marsh.

Emotions peaking, Hollystorm put on a burst of speed, closing the distance between herself and the tom she'd onced loved. In that wild moment before she touched him, there was uncertainty whether she was trying to maim him - or embrace him. Black fur mingled with bright ginger tabby stripes as Hollystorm and Sunpulse collided. Bowling him over, her front paws firmly planted on him to keep him from moving, the NightClan warrioress stared him down.

"Enough, Sunpulse!" She snarled. "If you don't stop sulking, if you don't stop punishing me, punishing us, for my decision, I am going to shred you and use your pelt for bedding." Ha, and that'd be the only way he'd ever sleep next to me again. Hollystorm was torn between a bitter laugh and a cry of anguish.

BlooRey DVD #587 Words Notes: tackled w/permission from Bloo!

[BlooRey DVD]

50 Moons Tom NightClan

Briefly, he wondered whether she'd just turn her back on him and walk away. Briefly. He managed a single blink of distant confusion as the black pelted warrioress pushed herself into motion and began tearing up the distance between them. She hit him with winding force, like a ray of sun piercing through a long-dark corner. Except completely reversed. Her ebony fur overtook his vision, a black hole seeking to devour what little light his eyes could find these days. The ground rushed up to meet him, hard and unforgiving beneath his form as she flattened his sorry rump.

His head was still spinning from the impact, but Hollystorm was not about to give him time to recover. A screeching voice had his ears pinning to the top of his head, golden eyes pulling wide as his pupils contracted to slits in a desperate attempt to focus. With a dull ringing still echoing in his ears, the sun-colored tom took a moment longer to register the words snarled in his face. Staring at those venomous green eyes, feeling her weight, both figurative and literal, crushing him from above, he took in a short gasp-like breath as though to speak.

His hind legs connected mercilessly with her stomach, the golden tom throwing the raven-coated she-cat from on top of him. He barely thought about the gasping exhale that had left Hollystorm's maw in that moment, instead rolling himself over and dragging his paws back beneath him. His claws pulled through the ground as he moved, pine needles leaping away from the force exerted by his paws, and his eyes found her some tail-lengths away. "Your decision." He said blankly, hind legs hauling his body to a stand. He didn't bother dispelling his pelt of any debris, instead letting it fall or stick at its own leisure.

For a moment, he didn't move. Until his tail lashed violently from one side to the other and he took a deliberate step in her direction. "And what's your decision now? You finished training Coalmask, so you tried just sauntering back in like nothing happened. Like you could just blink your eyes, and we'd be fine again." His lips peeled back then, skin bunching to bare his teeth as his voice hardened. "I'm not a leftover piece of prey you can use to satisfy yourself. I'm not some mossball you can play with whenever you want, Hollystorm." His words were not hollow, his tone was not empty. Instead, something writhed beneath it, anger wrapped up in layers of pain.

"Congratulations, you've proven yourself to the Clan. Coalmask is a warrior, but what's changed? You say I'm punishing 'us', but you've got another apprentice to train. What happens when the going gets tough now? Will you find yourself a different mossball to toss around a bit, until you feel comfortable again? Your father despised my rhyming. Despises me. Dark Forest be damned, the Clan is likely better off without some fool tying together all his sentences with rhymes. I thought about stopping before, you know. But it made you smile, and I decided that was all I wanted. Your smile meant everything to me."

His breath hissed from his maw as he finished. "I chose you. But what did you choose?"

--
Word Count: ~510 words
Tags: Fawn
Notes: >>

The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one;
Yet the light of a bright world dies with the dying Sun

[Fawn]

Call it love, but still you hate me

36 Moons Warrior NightClan

Sunpulse has winded her. Those words, like the kick to her stomach that sent her careening back into the needles, robbed Hollystorm of breath. "That's a damn lie," Hollystorm hissed, words cloaked in shock and pain both. "I didn't treat you like a mossball, Sunpulse! Do you know why I called us off? Did you ever stop to think about why I had to let you go to focus on Coalmask's training?" Green eyes seared, watering and angry as the air between them grew simultaneously cloudy and clear at the same time.

"Because I cared about you too much, you stupid furball. I was falling in love with you, and I turned my back on everything else because of it. So I tried to do the right thing by Coalmask, by my mentor, by my own pledge to the Clan." Lashing tails and bared teeth. How, oh StarClan, had they fallen so far from those warm moments in the sun, their little games of chase and the playful banter? It was a tragedy. A damn shame. And no matter what she tried, Hollystorm was beginning to lose hope that she could fix it.

Coming nose to nose with the cat who was the source of so much anguish (and vice versa), Hollystorm stared him down as if she could shove those memories of the past seasons from her perspective right into that thick skull of his. "I asked you to wait for me, but you pushed everything away. I tried to reach out, but it didn't matter, you just weren't having it." Hurt over that accusation, that she was the kind of she-cat who would play with his heart for no reason other than to enjoy seeing him suffer, flashed white-hot in the warrioress's eyes.

"I know you've been too busy sulking to notice, but you were the only one I wanted to be with. Do you see me curled up with anyone else? Do you see me going on long walks with anyone else? Flirting with anyone else? It was only ever you, Sunpulse. When I broke us up, I wasn't trying to leave you behind." Her voice softened, heavy and tired, faintly believing that these words would fall on deaf ears. "I wanted to finish Coalmask's training so I could come back to you and not feel guilty for wanting to be by your side every moment of every day. Excuse me for trying to grow into a cat strong enough to balance their duties with their love life."

They had both been young, and absorbed in one another. They had apprentices who had been neglected as a result - was Coyoteheart's extremely long apprenticeship not evidence of that? Hollystorm took a step back, her gaze resting on the trees and away from his sun-bright stare. "I tried so hard to change for the better. But what did you change into?" This sorry shell of his former self. It broke her heart, and cut her to pieces to think she was the cause of it.

But she was only part of the cause. Some of these wounds might have been self-inflicted, when he got the wrong idea about her motives.

"I know you won't accept it, or care," she growled under her breath, the lump in her throat stinging. "But I'm sorry for the hurt I caused. I loved you, you idiot. You were never my mossball, you were my sunlight. Guess I'm the idiot for thinking you'd still be shining for me, for us, when we could be together again."

BlooRey DVD #588 Words Notes

[BlooRey DVD]

50 Moons Tom NightClan

The vehemence and agony laced in Hollystorm's words took the tom by surprise. His paws betrayed his alarm, for the tom stepped back slightly before his claws curled into the ground below and rooted him in place. Perhaps he'd unintentionally rewritten her as a villain in his head, based largely upon the hurt he'd perceived in her actions. She stood nose to nose with him, brilliant eyes challenging him as she countered his accusations with her own. Distantly, he marveled at just how far apart he felt from her, despite their physical proximity.

What had he changed into?

As she moved away, his golden gaze went downcast, staring blankly at the pine needles beneath them. StarClan, he'd lost track of when it had all spiraled so far out of their control. The pain he felt was obvious to him, yet... He could no longer separate what had been caused by Hollystorm, and what had been aggravated by his own poisoned mind. Had he really managed to tear his own heart to pieces, like a star crushed beneath its own weight? And what was left of himself now? How could be possibly piece himself back together, undo the damage done by his own paws?

Thoughts bubbled within his skull, so many things he wanted to say. I'd already fallen for you. Fallen so far that you left me stranded when you called it off. And then I was drowning, too stupid to notice I was blind and deaf to the world around me. I thought I could hold myself together if I could just pretend to myself that I didn't feel anything. But all I did was shut everyone out. Shut myself out and ignored the pieces of myself that begged me to trust in you. To trust in us.

And yet he lacked the words to speak them. The fire that had driven his earlier tirade had fizzled out, leaving him silent and hollow.

Perhaps he'd turned himself into the villain by refusing to listen to anything she'd tried to say. His jaws shifted, teeth grinding together painfully as he struggled to find the strength to speak. Aware that she was no longer looking at him, the golden tom made no effort to look up at her. Instead, his dull gaze remained locked on the empty space between them. When he finally spoke, his voice rasped with the effort, as though there were a physical lump in his throat.

"You took that light with you... When you left." Somewhere, he noted that he'd been the one to physically walk away all those moons ago. But the sentiment remained the same: she'd initiated it, and his world had gone dark the moment she'd called them off. "I loved you too, but... Taking a break, that's... Those are words you say when you want to let someone down gently. And hearing them from you..." He swallowed the strange nausea that threatened to swamp him.

"It tossed me into darkness, an abyss from which I never resurfaced." He laughed then, a short-lived and heavy sound that revealed the demons he'd been lost to for so long. "Great StarClan..." He whispered in something akin to disbelief. "How did I craft such a canyon from a stream bed?" A distant piece of himself wanted nothing more than to bury his nose in the black fur of her shoulder. But after all that had happened, would she even want to rebuild what had been broken? Could he ever open himself to her again?

"For whatever it's worth." He rasped, his eyes slipping shut as his claws curled into the ground beneath. "I'm sorry I never listened."

--
Word Count: ~600 words
Tags: Fawn
Notes: </3

The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one;
Yet the light of a bright world dies with the dying Sun

[Fawn]

Baby I need light, I need fire

36 Moons Warrior NightClan

"Great StarClan... How did I craft such a canyon from a stream bed?"

They had failed to do the one thing that kept couples together; communicate. Hollystorm, a lump in her throat, as hard as a knot on a bough, turned to Sunpulse. If they had just been honest with each other before... If she had been clearer... If he had spoken up... Perhaps all these moons of pain would not have happened. They'd each made mistakes. Forgiveness was not a trait she had inherited from her father. Fortunately, it had taken more than Blackwolf to turn her into the she-cat she was today. Hollystorm's heart had not been so hardened that she couldn't... soften it again. For him. For us.

I wish I could ask you what to do, Ghostlight. Not only had Ghostlight been Sunpulse's mentor, and had known him well, but she was also her mother - a role in her life that she found herself feeling the absence of frequently. How much easier would life be, if she had the guidance of both her parents, not just one? There were things she could not discuss with Blackwolf. He was a strong personality, with harsh, unforgiving ideals. He would have no advice for her when it came to matters of the heart. But Ghostlight? ... Hollystorm's whole body panged with the echoes of grief.

Her mother would have known the right words to say. Maybe even snapped them out of this well of hostility and pain long before it had reached such a point.

But her mother wasn't here anymore. Hollystorm had worked hard to prove that she could handle the difficulties of Clan life; she hadn't foreseen anything like this, but she refused to shy away. Hollystorm, trying to navigate the intense maelstrom of emotion beating against her coat like hail, took a few steps towards Sunpulse, as if pulled in like a spider caught by its thread.

"I hate this," confessed the warrioress, green eyes piercing. "I hate that we've become like this. How do we fix it?" They couldn't go back to the way things were, could they? They were different cats, for better or for worse. But that did not mean they had to give up on one another. "From here on out, let's be ... clear with each other." Honesty, such open, raw honesty was difficult for her. But even more difficult than that? Losing Sunpulse forever. And now that they were clearing up all this poisonous fog and pain, if she could reach out and hold on to him...

Hollystorm's haunches folded into a sit, uncertain of what the future held now that her aggression had been removed from the equation. Remorse seared between them like an unchecked wildfire, but fear, fear of repeating this mistake, kept her from feeling that warmth. Hollystorm couldn't say the words let's start over. Not yet. They still had to recover from all of this. But she could say something else. "I want to walk and hunt with you again, Sunpulse. If you want some time to be alone, or don't feel ready for my company yet, tell me." It would hurt, but she didn't care.

From here on out, they needed to be truthful. It was the only way they were going to break through all this darkness.

BlooRey DVD 552 Notes: Sorry for the wait!