Conquer the monster in your head, and then you'll fly |
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GaleClan Medicine Cat
INVENTORY
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Post by BlooRey DVD on Sept 23, 2017 7:55:35 GMT -5
Feathercloud The silver coated feline padded near the back of the group, ice blue eyes distantly surveying the other patrol members. At the head of patrol stood Lionstar, guiding their path over familiar territory. Just behind him, his apprentice Thornpaw chattered eagerly to the attentive ears of his mother, Silentsong. Feathercloud noted absently how much the apprentice had grown in the past few moons. Although he lacked a little in muscle mass, he dwarfed his mother in height by now, likely contesting even Zephyrfang's. Thornpaw certainly didn't look as small next to Lionstar anymore. A bit like a twig, perhaps, but certainly not short.
She couldn't quite follow what the conversation was about, for Thornpaw's mind seemed to churn faster than the average cat's. One moment, he was talking about battle training, the next about how great a huntress Fawnpaw was. Had her thoughts not been so tangled up around a certain pale furred tom, she might have teased her friend's son about the crush he seemed oblivious to. As it was, her mate dominated her thoughts. She'd noticed a change in him a few days prior; he was unfocused on the here and now, taken by his own thoughts on something.
And if she had to hazard a guess? That something wasn't good. His mood had been soured as of late, and he spent all his time either swamped in duties to distract himself or sulking in their nest. Despite falling asleep next to him every night, conversations with him had been few and far between every since... Whatever it was that was bothering him had happened. Clueless as to how to handle this, the headstrong she-cat had struggled to rein herself in under the logic that he'd talk to her when he was ready to share what this was with her.
But it had been days now, and nothing had changed. It was driving her mad, her heart constricting in her chest and making it hard to breathe. All she could think about was the last time something like this had happened. How he'd spent moons avoiding her and how she'd felt like she was drowning the whole time. Feathercloud had thought they'd gotten through that part, that everything would be okay from then on. But here he was, receding into himself again and leaving her lost as to what she should be doing.
She didn't want to be nosy, didn't want to butt in where it wasn't her business. But StarClan above, she wouldn't be able to bear it if she lost him to this. Not after giving him her everything. ~400 words - Fawn - Feel free to send the other two home! If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. background image | j.r.r. tolkein | table by phoenix Note: 51 moons old
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Post by Fawn on Oct 4, 2017 17:26:37 GMT -5
LIONSTAR leader of treeclan Blinded by the light of a new sun He had not seen Lichenfrost all morning, or the night before that. Lionstar did not allow himself to feel worry over this. If Lichenfrost was avoiding him, fine; if she was actually doing what she was told (for once) -- even better. For all his determination to remain indifferent and unfeeling towards his own kin, creeping, crawling tendrils of guilt tripped up his apathy.
The presence of Thornpaw, Silentsong and Feathercloud made it easy to push his focus on the here-and-now, ignoring the past few days as if they had not existed. However, one member of their patrol was being extremely quiet - and it wasn't the mute tortoiseshell. Lionstar waved them on ahead, relaxing his pace until it brought him in line with Feathercloud.
It felt several lifetimes ago that he'd been taking Feathercloud out into the forest to complete her training. So much had happened since then; their lives had changed - for the better, though they had each weathered their own storms, their own dark nights of the soul. Lionstar believed their bond had not faded or weakened, but that did not mean it was permanent. He needed to be here for the cats in his life; step out of his role as Lionstar and be Lionstep again, even if cats like Feathercloud had never known him by any other name.
"Are you asleep with your eyes open?" Rumbled the tom, the paternal smile in his words as he patted her flank with his tail as though to wake her up. "Something's on your mind. You have my attention, Feathercloud, if you want to talk." He was busy more often than he wasn't, but Lionstar had vowed long ago to lend an ear to the cats he had promised to provide council to. To any of his loved ones, kin or not, that needed him.
He couldn't always give them what they needed, or say the right thing to reassure them, but Lionstar swore to at least try. "Are things alright with you and Sprucefur?" said Lionstar, taking an educated guess on what was digging under Feathercloud's pelt. In his eyes, the tom had seemed no more serious and calm than usual - but he could have missed something. Truth be told, he'd put a little distance between himself and Lichenfrost's two siblings, wanting some time to clear his head in all this mess. Take it to the world, gonna sing it like an anthem
background image | So Alive | table by phoenix
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Conquer the monster in your head, and then you'll fly |
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GaleClan Medicine Cat
INVENTORY
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Post by BlooRey DVD on Oct 6, 2017 14:42:10 GMT -5
Feathercloud Feathercloud barely noticed Lionstar dismiss the two other patrol members; she saw, yet did not register the concerned look Silentsong flashed her before leading the still-chattering Thornpaw away. The TreeClan leader's voice jostled her from her storm-cloud-like thoughts, her silver features brightening in shock as she blinked twice at the tom. Slowly, recognition and realization settle over her, and her silver ears tipped back in something akin to embarrassment. "Wha- no, no I'm here. I'm awake." She stammered slightly, before the lion-like tom continued, offering his ear to her. Kneading the ground uncertainly with her forepaws, the warrioress debated whether to reveal what was plaguing her mind or not.
And then he mentioned Sprucefur, and she felt her heart leap out of her chest. Everything she'd been holding in, every fragment of fear and worry suddenly reared its head, and her mouth began betraying her darkest concerns. "No. I mean yes? I mean... I think so?" Suddenly unable to keep still, the ice-blue eyed she-cat began pacing a little trail to and fro, staring at the ground as she voiced aloud what had been weighing on her so.
"I thought they were? I... I know I'm not exactly the easiest she-cat to interact with; I can be loud, I can be headstrong, and StarClan above I can be stubborn as a rock. But he never seemed to care? He saw me for me, and..." An affectionate, yet sorrow-tinged smile cracked her features momentarily. "He thought I was 'too good' for him for a while. Me. He wanted to better himself, for me! Isn't that silly? I told him I didn't want him to change. And I thought we were good... Since then he's always been there for me when I needed him.. He... He found me when..."
Her features contorted into something reminiscent of pain and dislike, as though she'd just eaten a bad piece of prey. "When Dawnheart called me by the wrong name. Always second place to Fernkit in Dawnheart's mind, up until the day she died." She couldn't be bothered to check her tongue, quite nearly spitting her mother's name into the air as she continued to pace, her tail snapping to and fro until her mind shifted to another thought. "But with Sprucefur? I never, ever feel second place. Except now, I don't know. Something's happened, he's closed off to me again. I thought if I gave him time, he'd tell me... But it's getting so hard to... To wait."
Her haunches folded beneath her suddenly, the silver she-cat collapsing into a slumped sit as she stared at her paws. Her feathery tail wrapped halfheartedly around her as she continued. "He stays out all day, keeping busy, then returns to our nest to sleep. He's always gone before I wake up, and I... The last time this happened, he didn't talk to me for moons. And I... I can't go through that again. I can't lose him..." ~490 words - Fawn - >> Word vomit If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. background image | j.r.r. tolkein | table by phoenix Note: 51 moons old
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Post by Fawn on Oct 8, 2017 9:42:18 GMT -5
LIONSTAR leader of treeclan Blinded by the light of a new sun Feathercloud poured her heart out. It was a sudden storm of emotion that had been threatening to break for the past few sunrises - but Lionstar did not run for cover. Instead, he listened, expression attentive and serious. He had been right, it was Sprucefur that was causing Feathercloud such uncertainty and anguish. What had caused this? A kind of paternal affection for his apprentice - now in her 51st moon - put up a displeased reaction first, and he had to clamp his teeth together to keep from telling Feathercloud that Sprucefur was being irresponsible and difficult.
Contain your bias, Lionstar. He reminded himself, and instantly he felt a surge of guilt over actually agreeing with Sprucefur. That Feathercloud was a little too good for a warrior that had never stood out as much before. You've been overlooking him on purpose, retorted a cold voice in his head. Lionstar mentally winced. Lichenfrost's angry tirade the other day had not missed its mark.
The admittance about the Dawnheart disaster momentarily derailed his guilt. "She called you--" Lionstar's ears flattened, and he hissed beneath his breath. All he could do was shake his head, and touch his nose to Feathercloud's ear in sympathy. "I'm sorry." Sorry that her mother had clawed up her heart one last time, before StarClan pulled her away.
Seeing her so shaken up had Lionstar sitting beside her protectively, feeling like a father comforting a daughter who had trouble navigating the thick, confusing forests of everyday life. "The Feathercloud I know doesn't wait around like this. You've given Sprucefur time to approach you first - but that's not working." Golden eyes settled on brilliant blue, and he dipped his head encouragingly, locking gazes. "Talk to him. I don't know him as well as you, but it's obvious he tries to solve his problems on his own. Hold him down, make him listen." Lionstar wouldn't say his half-brother was stubborn.
This wasn't pride in the way of Feathercloud and Sprucefur. Lionstar frowned in thought, recalling what he had seen of Sprucefur over the last few days. He had been serious and withdrawn. This wasn't stubbornness at all. This was... pain. Confusion. "Talk to him." Lionstar repeated. "Before too many days pass by." Before they lost that closeness Feathercloud spoke so adamently of. Take it to the world, gonna sing it like an anthem
background image | So Alive | table by phoenix
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Conquer the monster in your head, and then you'll fly |
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GaleClan Medicine Cat
INVENTORY
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Post by BlooRey DVD on Oct 27, 2017 13:18:01 GMT -5
Feathercloud A silver ear flicked at Lionstar's surprise. It dawned on her then that, until now, Sprucefur had been the only one to know of that event. She'd told him the day he'd scaled the Great Maple to find her, and since then? She couldn't recall mentioning it to anyone else. Truth be told, she'd desperately wanted to forget about it all. Did she mind that now Lionstar knew? No. In fact, it seemed only fair; after all, the lion-like tom had been more of a father to her than her real father. If anyone should have known, it was Lionstar.
The gentle touch of his nose to her ear pulled her gaze away from her paws. His thick fur brushed hers as he sat down beside her, offering her a silent type of comfort before he spoke to her again. Silver ears tilted to the side slightly, registering his words bit by bit. As he advised her to talk to him, the silver she-cat's sharp blue gaze fell to the ground once more, flicking between her paws and a nearby sprig of grass before narrowing thoughtfully. She had given Sprucefur enough time to approach her. He'd found her when she'd withdrawn, it was time she reach out to him.
Her feathery tail twitched with the realization, and Lionstar's repetition of his suggestion only strengthened her resolve. Her gaze flicked back to his, sun gold versus ice blue, and slowly her uncertainty began to melt away. Her body straightened, and she took a shaky breath to steady herself. Although she hadn't quite pieced herself back together, she managed to offer the TreeClan leader a smile which was more than she'd accomplished in a few days. "You're... You're right." She conceded, her voice still a little rough from the storm of emotions that writhed within her.
"I'm okay, I'll be okay." She reassured him, wrapping her tail more neatly around her paws. She hesitated momentarily, before adding "And thank you, Lionstar. Who would have thought that all these moons later, I'd still be learning things from you." Laughing softly to herself, she fluffed out her thick coat if only to provide herself some comfort. "I will talk to him. I'll talk to him today. I just... Need to pull myself together first." Though her eyes still glinted with exhaustion, she managed to find it within her to add a bit of tease to her voice.
"You don't have to wait around for that though." Despite the comfort she felt beneath his presence, she knew he was a busy tom. After all, he was the Clan leader. And he had his own mate to worry about, another apprentice to train. Gone were the days when she could justify occupying his time for upwards of half a day. Life had a funny way of shifting. "Who knew that... That sharing your heart with someone could be so exhausting." She mused, mostly to herself. ~490 words - Fawn - Feel free to have Sprucefur arrive! If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. background image | j.r.r. tolkein | table by phoenix Note: 51 moons old
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Post by Fawn on Nov 6, 2017 20:03:01 GMT -5
61 Moons || Senior Warrior || Tom there's a light that you give me when I'm in shadow His little Featherpaw had really grown up. Though he was still here to give advice and lend a listening ear, it was with a sense of... calm acceptance that she did not need it as much as she once had. Even if it took a while, he believed Feathercloud would have come to the same conclusion he had - or one of her many friends would speak up. There was comfort in knowing she would be just fine, should anything happen to him. Whether it was a hectic schedule or old age finally catching up. Lionstar's thoughts were not morbid; he knew in his heart of hearts that he would not always have time for every cat in the Clan, even Feathercloud. Lending her a small slice of peace and quiet, Lionstar breathed in the leaf-fall scents, allowing his thoughts to settle like freshly fallen leaves. ~*~ Sprucefur's thoughts had begun to fester, like a tree plagued by rot. As he alternated between anger and resentment - at Lionstar, at Frost, at his mother - his behaviors became less and less... warm. Almost as if all the warmth had been drained out of him, and the pale tom was operating on muscle memory alone. Withdrawing from Feathercloud hadn't been intentional. He just didn't know how to face these feelings, and he did not want her to see what he looked like drowning. What he looked like when he was lost. He should have leaned on his mate for support, but relying on others - even ones he trusted with his heart - never came easy. His kithood and apprenticeship and young warriorhood were full of too many whispers and snide comments to make that easy. For all his self-imposed solitude, Sprucefur's paws still carried him near Feathercloud. He faintly heard voices up ahead - the silvery she-cat who had healed much of the hurt inflicted by the golden tom. There was something symbolic about it being these two cats, and not someone else familiar to him like Appleshade or Gorsetail. Missing her more than he could have anticipated, Sprucefur's fawn-colored coat brushed against the ferns as he slipped into view. His gaze found Lionstar's first; he didn't know what he expected to see there, but the golden warrior smiled, dipped his head in greeting, and said a quiet goodbye. Now, Sprucefur's eyes found Feathercloud's brilliant blue, and he felt something give way inside his chest. Words were difficult to come by, however, and Sprucefur was painfully aware of the awkward silence threatening to unfold.
there's a feeling you give me, an everglow --- Word Count: 423 Words Tags: BlooRey DVD Notes:
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Conquer the monster in your head, and then you'll fly |
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GaleClan Medicine Cat
INVENTORY
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Post by BlooRey DVD on Nov 6, 2017 22:25:17 GMT -5
Feathercloud For once in her life, the silvery she-cat was content to sit in silence. The big, lion-like tom at her side was steady as a mountain, grounding her at a time she felt like she might just disappear. She couldn't resist the temptation to lean her shoulder into his, momentarily reduced to a young she-cat seeking the comfort only a father figure could provide. Her shaky breath began to steady itself, the senior warrioress allowing her blue eyes to slip shut as she listened to the quiet air around them. For a heartbeat, she let all the weight slip from her shoulders.
The complaints from a nearby fern plant drew her attention. So unlike the sounds she'd been content to listen to, the disturbance triggered the opening of her ice blue eyes. Following the tilt of her ear indicating the sound had come from somewhere behind them, Feathercloud glanced over her shoulder to see the fawn-colored coat of her mate as he leveled his gaze with Lionstar's. So fixated on Sprucefur she was, Feathercloud barely registered the loss of warmth beside her as Lionstar rose to his paws and excused himself. Murmuring a distracted 'thank you' to her former mentor, the silver warrioress watched her mate a moment longer.
She could read the uncertainty and confusion in his eyes, and the words she'd intended to say died on her tongue. Sharp blue eyes softened with a depth of emotion she could never properly vocalize, and so the silver senior warrioress let her actions speak for her. Closing the distance between them with certain paw steps, Feathercloud pushed her muzzle into his fur. Breathing in his scent, Feathercloud's blue eyes drifted closed fractionally as she stared at nothing in particular just beyond her mate's back.
Slowly, she stepped back, her longer fur brushing his with every step until she could press their foreheads together. Closing her eyes, she finally broke the silence stretching between them. "Talk to me." She whispered, her voice carrying the smallest fragments of her previous uncertainties. "Let me help you. I.. I can't help you if you pull away. StarClan, Sprucefur... I love you, I love you so much it scares me. And when you do this? I feel like you take a part of me with you. Please, please let me help you this time." She begged gently, leaning into his warmth as her voice trailed off. ~400 words - Fawn - <3 <3 <3 -dies- If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. background image | j.r.r. tolkein | table by phoenix Note: 51 moons old
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Post by Fawn on Nov 12, 2017 15:03:32 GMT -5
61 Moons || Senior Warrior || Tom there's a light that you give me when I'm in shadow Feathercloud's comfort - her voice, her scent, the brush of her fur against his - was warmth on a cold leaf-fall day. Sprucefur's grave expression softened in severity, and some of her warmth seemed to seep into his bones, restoring him to life. "I'm sorry. I just needed... Time to think." A pale muzzle tilted, head slowly shaking to show he had very little clarity from that. "No matter how much I think about this, I don't feel any closer to closure." Even if his confusion never lifted in the slightest, Sprucefur knew he couldn't keep locking Feathercloud out. She was not invincible, and the last thing Sprucefur would ever desire was to lose the she-cat he had wished for so badly.
Trying not to let the confusion coalesce into guilt, Sprucefur sighed and nuzzled into the beautiful silver, black and white tabby coat of his mate. Even if he never found closure, he would at least have peace. He would at least have her, and Gorsetail and the two young warriors he had trained. "I'm sorry," he murmured again, hoping the depth of his apology carried over. "I won't shut you out again. This business with Frost is..."
A lashing tail and a minor step back, Sprucefur's irritation showed itself, his fur prickling with the weight he'd been carrying for the past few days. "Do you remember that old Tribe cat Gorsetail and Fawnpaw found in Greenleaf? Frost? He's..." Sprucefur's expression contorted, as if smelling something unpleasant. "... My father. Not Badgerstripe. Camellia and Frost were both TreeClan cats, Frost left, then Camellia went with him—" Sprucefur irritably brushed that part of the conversation aside. "—not that it matters. Camellia lied to the Clan, said her kits belonged to Badgerstripe, then left with Frost to find the Tribe of Rushing Water."
Sprucefur's pale jaws snapped shut, aborting the sudden surge of emotions whirling through him like a freak storm. It was hard to discern how he felt. After he felt Feathercloud's eyes upon him, Sprucefur found the strength to continue. "All my life, I've been in Lionstar's shadow. All my life, the Clan was judging us for Badgerstripe's affair and Camellia's abandonment." The irritated spark that had animated the warrior seemed to die out. "And along comes Frost, to tell me all that suffering was for nothing. It's too late to fix the damage. I want to hate Frost, for interrupting our lives like this. I want to hate my mother, for turning her back on us, and I want to hate Lionstar for punishing us, no matter how much he acts like he didn't."
He wanted to... but he couldn't. "Instead, I just feel... lost. As if I don't know who I am anymore."
There's a feeling you give me, an everglow --Words: 445 Words Notes: <3 SpruceFeather! Tags: BlooRey DVD
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Conquer the monster in your head, and then you'll fly |
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GaleClan Medicine Cat
INVENTORY
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Post by BlooRey DVD on Dec 6, 2017 19:29:54 GMT -5
Feathercloud She hadn't really expected the sudden storm of words. Maybe she should have, after all she'd been smothering her own clouds of doubt until moments ago. And yet... It all came as a surprise. He told her of his own parental struggles. No longer was he Lionstar's half-brother, as the Clan had been made to believe. Instead, he was the son of two former TreeClan cats who'd chosen to leave their kits behind. Strange how similarly their stories had become... Whereas Feathercloud had face psychological abandonment, Sprucefur's had been physical. But she could see the pain in his eyes: distance did nothing to quell the hole gauged out so long ago.
Slowly, her head tilted. Blue eyes watched him quietly, her own thoughts churning as she grasped at what she wanted to say. She would let him finish, but she would not stand to hear so much doubt coming from the tom she loved to the stars and back again. He'd gotten up to pace partway through his rant to her, but now he'd sunk back into a sit. Slowly rising to her paws, if only to close the distance between them again, Feathercloud leaned her shoulder against his as her ice blue eyes cast up toward the canopy of leaves above.
"I... Don't know what the right answer is. Not for that. I wanted to hate Dawnheart and Stormclaw both for a very long time... But in the end, what difference did it make? They still lived their lives just out of reach. I don't know who's fault that was, but it doesn't matter anymore. They're gone. I'm left here. And after all that hate? All that bitterness... What do I have left?" Slowly, her gaze traveled back to him, a ghost of an adoration-laced smile flitting over her features.
"What I'm trying to say is... I've come to realize over the moons that, in the end? Those that really matter won't look at you and see your parents. You can't erase the pain of the past... What's done is done, and all that. But you can look to the future. You can hold your head up high, and... And hold fast to the things that matter now. You aren't 'Frost's son' in my head, just like you were never 'Badgerstripe's son'." She told him, absolute certainty reflected in her tone of voice. "You have Appleshade. You have Lichenfrost. But... I don't think family is measured by the blood in your veins."
Leaning her head against him, she let her eyes slip closed. "The closest cat I have to a father has golden fur. The closest cat I have to a sister has tortoiseshell fur, and is quiet enough to make up for my mouthing off. I found an unexpected friend in a tom I thought I hated so many moons ago. And I found you. Maybe you don't know who you are to yourself anymore, but... I know who you are to me." She paused a moment, almost as though she wasn't sure whether she should say what she had next. A flicker of doubt burned in her belly; would he think what she had to say was kit-like?
It didn't take long for her to push the thought aside. He may have been doubting himself, but after all these moons? She was certain of one thing: he loved her. "You are... The rain after a dry Greenleaf. You are the moon on a pitch black night. You are the light through any darkness I could ever face... You are my mate, you are Sprucefur. I love you, and in my eyes you are perfect exactly as you are. No matter who your parents are." ~620 words - Fawn - -rolls in SpruceFeather fluff- If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. background image | j.r.r. tolkein | table by phoenix Note: 51 moons old
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Post by Fawn on Dec 17, 2017 9:51:59 GMT -5
61 Moons || Senior Warrior || Tom there's a light that you give me when I'm in shadow Feathercloud understood, perhaps better than anyone else in TreeClan, what it was like to grow up in a less-than-perfect environment. Dawnheart and Stormclaw had broken his mate's heart for different reasons; Dawnheart, by being unable to see past the death of Fernpaw, and Stormclaw, for being unable to balance taking care of a distressed Dawnheart with looking after his remaining daughter.
Life, Sprucefur had realized long ago, was difficult. Impossibly difficult, sometimes.
"They're gone. I'm left here. And after all that hate? All that bitterness... What do I have left?"
Me, he thought, meeting that spectre of a smile with a concrete one of his own. You have me. Forever. Sprucefur had enough time to press his nose to her muzzle, as much of an embrace as he could manage without disrupting the entire conversation. It was a good thing he hadn't; Feathercloud's next words swept over him like a rainstorm in greenleaf, cooling him; filling the empty reservoir that housed his confidence, his sense of self.
"You aren't 'Frost's son' in my head, just like you were never 'Badgerstripe's son'."
Sprucefur drank in those words, his eyes closing as he let her voice lull him back from the edge. Already, he could feel his pains beginning to soothe. Feathercloud was hot-headed to a fault, but she was easily one of the most sensible cats he had the pleasure of knowing on a personal level. She was more than just her temper. "Thank you," he whispered, voice hoarse.
To be his own person, to stop being someone's shadow was all he had ever wanted.
But Feathercloud wasn't finished.
"You are... The rain after a dry Greenleaf. You are the moon on a pitch black night. You are the light through any darkness I could ever face... You are my mate, you are Sprucefur. I love you, and in my eyes you are perfect exactly as you are. No matter who your parents are."
Something inside of him broke. But it wasn't his heart, or his pride, or even his emotional fortitude. It was that hard, prickly shell he kept around himself for safekeeping. Sprucefur's expression crunched with the weight of her words, and he wordlessly swallowed, throat dry and raw with a lump right in the middle. He forced any space between them to reduce almost to nothing, and buried his face in her neck-fur. It was all he could do, to express how much those words meant to him.
He wanted to speak, but he didn't trust himself to. Instead, he closed his eyes to the emotional upheaval, feeling as if he'd been flayed alive - and new growth, new skin, was already healing over those fading wounds. She was right. To the stars and back, she was right. And she was everything. Everything to him, a cat who had once thought he had nothing to his name. "I am your mate," he whispered, pulling back a mouselength - his breath still fanning over her plush coat - so she could hear him speak. "And I will spend the rest of my days being everything you believe I am." There's a feeling you give me, an everglow --Words: 512 Words Notes: <333 agh my feels I can't take it. Thread wrap-up? Tags: BlooRey DVD
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