[Fawn]

It had been eight days since the Gathering. Eight uncomfortable, awful days. Who cared if the sun was shining? Her apprentice was sick, and her mate was... keeping secrets from her. When the worry over Maplepaw wasn't keeping her awake, the hurt in her heart made it impossible to sleep. Why didn't he tell me about Cedarbranch?

Because you were only temporary. Replied her inner skeptic, which had morphed, like a nightmare, into a bully. You and Valiantstride wouldn't have lasted a year. He would have gotten bored with her. His smile would have faded, and that 'love' he felt for her would have evaporated like rain on the sandy plateau.

Skunkspots avoided the warriors' den as if it had turned into a fox hole. The nest she shared with Valiantstride no longer felt so inviting; she had slept next to Ospreywing upon returning from the Gathering. He had the sense not to ask her why, and even if he had asked, she wouldn't have told him.

"Skunkspots," an elegant voice flowed into her ears like water. "If you're sick, it's imperative that you see the medicine cats."

Skunkspots gazed uncomfortably to Frozenrain, a she-cat much, much older than she, who was also Hawkstar's mate. There was never any question about how those two felt about each other. Hawkstar always looked as if the affection between them hadn't faded even an ounce. Frozenrain was by his side, his companion, not his shadow.

Under Frozenrain's concerned blue eyes, Skunkspots quickly averted her gaze. "I-I'm not sick. Just tired. On second thought, I'll go see them." She was a bad liar on top of being unwanted. Skunkspots excused herself from camp, beyond grateful that the sick cats were still stationed at the sandy plateau. As long as she went in that direction, Frozenrain had no reason to think she wasn't going where she said she was.

As soon as she believed herself to be properly out of sight, Skunkspots veered to the Sky Springs, hurrying on haggard paws until she was close enough to see the sky reflected in the pools. A familiar distinctive golden and brown pelt made her freeze in her tracks.
"Hawkdung," she hissed under her breath, heart pounding.

What did she say to him? Just leave, Skunkspots. Go anywhere. Someplace else.

But Skunkspots was rooted to the spot, and though her eyes were wide with alarm, her tail was hanging low. Her posture tired. Dejected.

Word Count: 405 Words Tags: Hellion Notes:

38 Moons. Warrior. StoneClan

[Hellion]

StoneClan || Warrior || Tom

He was defeated and perhaps a little lost and it was all his fault. They got back from the gathering and instead of joining him in their nest she retreated to sleep beside her brother. That was a thorn in his heart, one that dug deep. The absence of his mate made sleeping difficult and for 8 terrible nights Valiantstride tossed and turned. He wanted to ask her to come back. But every time he looked at her he was reminded of how hurt she looked at the gathering. He hated himself for that.

Saddened by the loss of her company, Valiantstride became an awkward shell of himself. He hunted and patrolled like normal but didn't bother to say hi to everyone. Hawkfall his good friend noticed early on and went as far as to confront him. Valiantstride dismissed his friend's concern but not before reminding Hawkfall to cherish his mate. The tabby stared at him in confusion before promising to always have Shadowdance's best interest at heart. Valiantstride commended his friend for that devotion before carrying out his duties. Numb to the rest of the world.

There were moments when Valiantstride attempted to approach her but stopped mid stride. He doubt she'd want to talk to him, let alone see his face. The golden tom settled on watching her from afar, his heart aching. Pining for her affection.

The days grew long and Valiantstride found it increasingly difficult to focus. His thoughts of Skunkspots had turned borderline obsessive. He desperately wanted to know what they were. Did he need to take down their nest? Did he need to learn to forget what they had? Those sad thoughts whirled around his head until Hawkfall batted at his shoulder to get his attention. The tabby insisted Valiantstride go for a walk, clear his head. Shrugging his shoulder before making his way out of camp and toward the Sky Springs. He figured a few hours outside of camp could be good. Maybe if he wasn't tempted to seek her out it would be easier. Not that giving up was easy for Valiantstride.

He found himself a soft spot to sit and stared at the water in front of him. He glared at himself, angered that he let someone like Cederbranch come between him and Skunkspots. It probably hurt worse that Cederbanch was from NightClan, something that Valiantstride in his younger moons hadn't realized. It was all a game back then, something fun to do to pass the seasons.

The wind shifted and alerted him to a scent that he drank in. Turning his head quickly he caught sight of Skunkspots, all wide eyed. For a moment he tried to pretend she was happy to see him but from the looks of her over all body posture he knew it wasn't true.

'She looks almost upset that I'm out here,' He thought, his eyes lowering and his head turning back to the water. He wasn't ignoring her but terribly afraid to face her. A silence grew like a toxin between them until with a loud exhale then an inaudible inhale, Valiantstride began to speak.

"Do you hate me?"

You're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning.
'Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, oh oh

550-ish - Fawn - SONG LINK!

[Fawn]

"Do you hate me?"

Skunkspots's black-furred ears were pinned back as if she'd been spit at. Hate him? No, she didn't hate him. "You're not the one I hate," the words came out cold, but fragile. The one she hated wasn't Cedarbranch, either. She didn't blame him for his feelings for her. Or whatever his relationship with Cedarbranch had been.

She blamed herself for getting too comfortable. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, he really was as good as he seemed. As loving and kind as he seemed. As if he really would be by her side until they were a couple of old, gray-furred elders.

But good things like that didn't happen to her. Or Ospreywing. Maybe they'd been cursed at birth, to walk through life in a state of okayness if they were lucky, and chaos if they weren't. True happiness was for other cats.

'Happily ever after' was for other cats too.

"Did you mean any of it?" Skunkspots whispered, pinning him with a keen stare, unable to feel her usual awkwardness - not when the yearning to know the truth was overwhelming everything else. The black and white she-cat, as if the weight of the past eight days were finally pressing in, sat down. Stiff posture. Twitching tail. Aching heart.

It hurt to look at him. Every time she did, she saw Cedarbranch - saw the pretty NightClan warrior approach him as if he was StarClan's gift to the forest. Saw a thousand different things pass between them. Does he think about her? Does he miss her? What if the only reason he and Cedarbranch weren't together was that Cross-Clan relationships were doomed to fail?

You're just the convenient one, hissed a voice in the back of her mind, casting her thoughts in shades of gray and black. If Cedarbranch was a StoneClan cat, Valiantstride wouldn't even look at you.

And somehow, that treacherous little thought hurt her the most. Skunkspots rose to her paws, pelt prickling as the distress rippled through her like an electric current. "I-I can't do this, Valiantstride. I can't be your 'second pick'," a hard lump formed in her throat. "I gotta... I gotta go. I..." I feel sick.

She felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach.

Word Count: 374 Words Hellion Notes:

38 Moons. Warrior. StoneClan

[Hellion]

StoneClan || Warrior || Tom

'You're not the one I hate," Valiantstride couldn't help it, he relaxed a little at those words. He didn't care about Cederbranch, he would be happy to never seer her again. He'd be heartbroken, a shell of his former self is Skunkspots hated him. It was a true relief to know that hated hadn't blossomed in her heart. He could learn to deal with her not wanting to be around him, the hatred was something he feared.

Tempted to step closer to her, Valiantstride had to remind himself that he hadn't been allowed to be in her company again. For all he knew she could be preparing to call everything off. Ask him to never look at her again, his little ray of awkward sunshine and rain would be taken from him. At her question a clear look of confusion crossed over his face. The gear turned in his head as he tried understand what she meant. Of course he meant everything he said. Valiantstride wasn't one to lie about feelings, in fact he was pretty upfront about them. Minus the few times he diluted them because he was sure they'd scare her away.

"Of course I meant it. Why would I lie to you Skunkspots? You are the one I love with all my hear- He stopped himself before he finished the word. The look on her face made every beat of his heart feel pained. Had he truly hurt her that deeply? If younger Valiantstride had known the pain he'd cause to his future mate, he'd run away from Cederbanch faster then a lighting strike. It would be worth the wait. If only he could go back in time.

Unsure if she wanted to hear the rest of his confession, Valiantstride remained silent, looking at her with a look of defeat. His ears had tucked back like a cat scolded by a loved one.

Then she said those words, the ones that sent his heart into a panic as he realized how quickly she was slipping away. In an act of protest, Valiantstride closed the gap between them. He nudged her cheek in a weak attempt to keep her from running. She could push him away, but he prayed she wouldn't.

"Please don't go Skunkspots. I need you. You are my one and only, my true mate. You were never the second pick, you were always my only pick," He whispered to her, trying his hardest not to crumple under the very real possibility that she would leave him. In the end if that was what she want he'd let her go. He wouldn't make her stay even if he wanted her to. Her happiness came first.

You're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning.
'Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, oh oh

## - Fawn - Notes

[Fawn]

At first, his words bounced off of her like hail on stone, no impact. But the soft touch to her cheek, the proximity of the cat she had allowed herself to feel such genuine, powerful emotions for, kept Skunkspots running away. Uncomfortably warm, the she-cat looked at their paws. "Why didn't you tell me about her sooner?" The words pierced her heart, even as Valiantstride's confession tried to mend the tears as they happened. "Was she some big secret?"

It was so hard to imagine herself as anyone's 'first choice', their only choice. Yet...

He seemed truly distressed. If he hadn't cared about her, he wouldn't have been walking around these past few days as if he'd just lost a family member. Her ears flattened to her skull, not in a look of anger but a look of sadness. Uncertainty. She was putting up walls of stone, but he was trying to get through them anyway.

That had to mean something.

Valiantstride had made a mistake. But what if it wasn't me? What if I'm not the mistake? What if it was Cedarbranch? It was terrifying, feeling hurt and talking to the one cat in the whole valley who could heal those hurts - or make everything so much worse. What would he gain from lying to her? Skunkspots didn't have an answer to that. Maybe because an answer didn't exist.

'Please don't go Skunkspots. I need you.'

'I need you'. How many cats had said that to her in her lifetime? None. Valiantstride was the only one. Skunkspots' heart ached. The urge to forgive him, to just ignore this whole mess was starting to push back against the walls she'd built in self defense. "Everything was going great," she muttered. "Until that stupid gathering. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to sleep in our nest again." But... could it even go back to the way it was before?

To trusting him, again? What if there were more surprises down the road? Skunkspots' claws unsheathed, as if to physically get a grip. "No more secrets." If he couldn't be honest with her, then she couldn't do this.

Word Count: 354 Words Tags: Hellion Notes:

38 Moons. Warrior. StoneClan

[Hellion]

StoneClan || Warrior || Tom

"Why didn't you tell me about her sooner? Was she some big secret?" Valiantstride didn't offer an answer right away. In all honesty he hadn't even thought about Cederbranch in over ten moons. The grey she-cat was the last thing on his mind. He didn't even consider a secret because she was simply off his radar. Skunkspots was the she-cat he cared about. She was the one he wanted to tell the world about, let them know that Skunkspots had his heart in her paws. Almost everything he did was to help her in the long run. The reason he got up in the morning was to nuzzle her awake. He hunted because it was his duty but also because it meant he could provide for her. A little foolish with how quickly he became devoted to her happiness, but isn't that what mates are for? A special cat that you'd do anything for. Risk your life to keep them safe. Skunkspots was that and so much more, he wanted her to know that.

"The reason I never told you about her" He couldn't get himself to even say her name. "was because I didn't think her important. Me and her was from a long time ago. Before I got to know you. It was a stupid wild streak that I had. I thought myself the hero of some epic story. Now I realize I need to be the hero of your story. Defend you and take care of you for as long as you let me," Valiantstride told her, attempting to explain why he didn't think anything of the NightClan cat anymore. He sighed softly as he rested his head on her's for a moment. He wanted to find comfort in her again, be welcomed back into her loving paws. Even if it didn't happen right away, he'd be wiling to travel to the ends of the world to prove to her, all he wanted was a chance. A way to make it right.

"Everything was going great, until that stupid gathering. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to sleep in our nest again." He relaxed a little at her words. Hearing her say she wanted to sleep in their nest again was a relief. There was hope for the two fo them after all. "I am truly sorry that it happened. If I could go back in time I'd tell my younger stupider self that it would be worth the wait. Hold out for a pretty she-cat with black and white fur. I'd probably fall in love with you sooner," Valiantstride confessed a soft purr escaping. It had been rough but there was hope, he could live off that hope.

Her demand for no more secrets went unchallenged. "I will never keep anything from you. I promise that," He told her nuding her cheek again. "Thank you for forgiving me," He added, another purr rumbling in his chest. The relief that washed over them and all he wanted to do was take her back to their nest and curl up beside her. Finally get some sleep that proved to be restful, it looked like they both needed it. "Come back to camp with me? Share tongues with me until we fall asleep. I missed you and I think we could both use the rest," His voice was soft and attempted to be soothing as he nuzzled her again. Trying to remind her that no matter what he'd be there for her. She was his mate, first and last.

You're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning.
'Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, oh oh

620?! - Fawn - End?

[Fawn]

"It was a stupid wild streak that I had. I thought myself the hero of some epic story."

Even Skunkspots' inner critic, with the acid-tongue and the perfect aim, had to admit that sounded exactly like Valiantstride. He was a romantic at heart, with a flair for the theatrical; the hero of some epic story. Skunkspots felt a smile threaten to tug at her whiskers, but it didn't shyly show up until a few words later, when he promised to be the hero of her story.
"You're such a sappy furball," Skunkspots mewed, embarrassed by his affection for her. She didn't think him silly, rather, she thought herself undeserving; it was hard to get used to a cat who spoke so differently to her compared to everyone else.

With a slow, tensed sigh that relaxed the longer it went on, Skunkspots let his soothing purrs radiate into her ears, and from her ears into her heart. Okay. Starting over. We can... get over this. StarClan, all this worry and negativity was exhausting. Skunkspots hadn't noticed before. Maybe because her happy moments had been few and far between, that she hadn't realized the pessimistic, mentally tired state she went around in was anything other than normal.

But Valiantstride had changed that. Showed her that it wasn't always raining. She pressed her nose to his cheek again. "Okay." Back to their nest. Back to their relationship. Back to not letting her thoughts get the better of her. But for how long? How long would the great moments last this time? That question made her throat tighten.

He had told her to trust him. But trusting someone was risky, and Skunkspots didn't consider herself very brave. And yet...

Skunkspots pressed her flank against his, as if just that simple act could make all her problems and doubts go away. Maybe they weren't supposed to go away - not immediately. She wasn't a mousebrain, who believed every sweet thing ever said to her. Those doubts would go away with time. Like scars. They fade like scars.

If she could put her faith in anything, at least it was that time would go on regardless of anything she said, did, or worried about.
"I missed you too," Skunkspots whispered, and walked side by side with Valiantstride to StoneClan's camp in the distance.

Word Count: 386 Words Tags: Hellion Notes: <3 Done!

38 Moons. Warrior. StoneClan