The fluff of his tail was softly placed over his nose as he tried to fall back to sleep. By accident Willowbreeze had brushed against his still tender shoulder and startled him awake. The she-cat offered him whispered apologizes until Gullswoop shushed her kindly.
Realizing that no matter how hard he tried sleeping wasn't coming. Sitting up and tucking his head down, Gullswoop noticed that the warrior's den was mostly empty. Feeling guilty for over sleeping, he exited the den quickly.
The camp was quite lively compared to the other day, it seemed the fog had finally moved on. Relief was present in Gullswoop's eyes as he looked upwards toward the sky. The sun had started it's climb and still the air around him was crisp. Desipte the harshness that came with leafbare, Gullswoop was happy for leaf-fall, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Perfect temperature for the heavy-furred tom.
Spying Willowbreeze talking briefly with a fellow warrior, he caught her gaze. She dipped her head again as a silent apology which earned her a kind smile from Gullswoop. He didn't really mind that she had woken him up by accident, in fact he sort of appreciated the fact she did.
Unsure of how to go about his day Gullswoop found himself comfortablly sitting near the entrance to the warrior's den. He didn't have any important duties, Ottersplash had told him to go easy on his still healing body. While he was fit for warrior duties, muscles along the base of his neck and shoulder were tight, making crouching painful. It was a blessing he was till able to fish without discomfort and taken up doing that as a part of his healing.
As his thoughts lingered on the wound he was unable to see, Gullswoop couldn't help but let the dark thought creep over him. The scar that was likely hidden by his fluffy fur was the same kind that killed his father. Leopardyowl's son had tore into his flesh to inflict the same kind of wound, but Gullswoop survived. It wasn't that the silver tom was ungrateful for his life, but instead unsure of why him?
Why didn't StarClan take him too?
Pushing the thought away forcefully by shaking out his fur, Gullswoop stood up. His grief had bad been a struggle. Now that Salmonclaw and his parents were exiles, Gullswoop didn't know where he should be.
He couldn't beg for his father's life back, Vultureback was buried in the soft earth. No amount of angered shouting to the stars could change that. The only real sadness he felt was for the loss of any reconnection. Perhaps in away Vultureback's death was meant to spur him into some other direction, one he hadn't realized until Crowblaze re-entered camp.
His elder brother had decided to return to RainClan after some time as a loner. Gullswoop wondered for a moment why. Was it because he was unhappy like Hawkfall was or was it because he didn't like Clan life? Lost in thought for a moment as he watched his brother leave two freshly caught fish on the pile, Gullswoop found the courage to confront the tom.
Treading carefully simply because he hadn't really interacted with him before, Gullswoop moved so that he was poltietly in Crowblaze's line of sight and path.
"Can we talk?" He asked trying to keep his voice level. He wasn't quite sure why but suddeningly Gullswoop felt like a kit all over again. Looking at his brother as someone to admire, regardless of his past. Part of Gullswoop wanted Crowblaze to look at him and offer him some sort of comfort. Gullswoop was a firm believer that being siblings meant they had a connection, right?
words: 620! longest gull post i think • tagged:Fawntastic •
Gullswoop and Bitternwing were his younger siblings. That said, even with the family ties, he and the two littermates weren't exactly close; he didn't know who Bitternwing's closest friends were, or even who had mentored Gullswoop. Crowblaze's relationship with both warriors left much to be desired - but it wasn't for any lack of compassion or feeling for his kin.
He loved them. They were his family, which made them more precious than all the water in the river, even if he would rather choke on a fish bone then utter such a sentimental statement to anycat, let alone Gullswoop or Bitternwing. When the silver warrior approached, Crowblaze's burning orange gaze drew level with the younger tom, pausing in his grooming to listen.
"Can we talk?"
Crowblaze stretched out his front limbs, claws fully extending from their sheathes, to rise up. Crowblaze was physically bulkier of frame than his younger brother, but Gullswoop was half an ear taller; he took notice of this now that they were within a foxlength of each other. Crowblaze nodded, his mood amicable when dealing with family. With a calm 'sure', the dark tabby moved towards the entrance, making long strides since he knew Gullswoop could keep up. A blustery leaf-fall wind whipped through his fur, making the tufts at the tops of his ears flutter like grass blades in a storm. Crowblaze's eyes narrowed against the stinging gust, but he was otherwise warm; his coat had thickened up considerably, tail now bushy, even the fluff between his toes had grown out (which made fishing a pain in the tail sometimes).
Walking side by side with the brother he wished he knew better, Crowblaze made the effort to speak first. "What do you want to talk about?"
It could be anything. The civil war. Their parents. Bitternwing. The attack... Crowblaze didn't go to any lengths to guess what Gullswoop would say. The silver tom would talk when he was ready. Crowblaze wasn't a very patient cat, but for family, he could make an exception.
Gullswoop found it easy to fall into step with Crowblaze. He was glad that his older brother didn't seem bothered by his height. All too often Gullswoop caught the uneasy glances by his clanmates. Height was a StoneClan thing, but even if he stared Gullswoop did his best not to dwell on it.
Finding his brother's pace a little extended Gullswoop didn't complain. In the recent days he felt confined and wanted to feel the rush of the wind in his fur. Almost as an answered prayer a gust of air toyed with his thick fur making him feel free.
Hearing Crowblaze's voice reminded him a lot of Vultureback which made the silver tom pause for a moment. He didn't stop but his pace shifted for a moment. "I um..want to talk about everything," He replied, looking down to the ground they covered. He even made the effort to stop on a leaf but showed a slight frown when it didn't crunch.
"A lot has happened and I realized that I was alone during most of it. I mean you and Bitternwing were here, in the area but we didn't talk," Gullswoop went on to explain, his paws coming to a stop. He wanted his brother's attention and felt if they were walking together it would distract them both.
"I want to know why you left after mom died. I don't understand why you left us. We needed our big brother and you were gone." The raw emotion expressed in those words had Gullswoop's voice cracking. The silver tom wasn't aware of his own feelings but as the words to come so did the pain, the feeling of being left behind stormed inside him. The storm forced his eyes down to look at his paws, slightly dirty and oddly fidgety
" I might not be the best brother but I can't bare the thought of us living in the same Clan but knowing nothing about each other. Its a stupid way to live. Siblings aren't supposed to be like that," Gullswoop continued on, anger flashing as his eyes shot up to look at his brother more intently.
"I um..I'm sorry I didn't chase after you," Gullswoop stated after a moment, his voice small and meek. It was unrealistic for Gullswoop to have chased after Crowblaze when he left, the silver tom was barely 5 moons old when their mother died. He'd sooner join StarClan then have found his brother. An added feeling of defeat coursed over Gullswoop as he fell silent, awaiting his brother's reply or lack of.
Post by Fawntastic on Nov 18, 2016 14:18:04 GMT -5
36 Moons. Loner. Tom. -
Crowblaze stopped dead in his tracks. Fishdung. Of all the things they could have talked about... Gullswoop aimed right for the heart. The older, darker tabby was left to process his little brother's words. Even if he'd imagined this conversation happening, it didn't make it any easier to confront his own feelings about it. That was his drawback, the largest of one of his many flaws... It was perhaps uncommon for a cat to be aware of their own setbacks, but Crowblaze was. He had to be; his life as a loner and a Clan cat both didn't allow him to go around with his head in the water, ignorant to himself and the way the valley worked.
But that didn't make this easier.
Staring off into the sparse woodland RainClan could lay claim to, Crowblaze's throat burned raw. Tail flicking, gaze intense, with a mounting need to make Gullswoop understand why he hadn't been there for them, Crowblaze finally spoke.
His voice was a hoarse whisper, it was clear he was uncomfortable speaking aloud his fears and concerns. Always wanting to present a strong, impenetrable front, showing any kind of vulnerability - even in front of his own kin was near unheard of. "I couldn't watch you die. After Falconleap died I... thought you and Bitternwing would catch it." Crowblaze shook his head, as if even now he was in vehement protest against any harm befalling his family; a glimmer of sadness entered both his gaze and his tone. "I'd already lost Hawkfall. You think I could handle losing more siblings?"
Crowblaze paced around Gullswoop, unable to keep himself still. Too many bad memories were richocheting around his skull. Too many bad feelings rising up to the surface like an oil spill on water. Too many...
The sharpest of all, like a claw-strike to the heart, was the guilt. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." Crowblaze's jaw tightened, the last of his words, I promise, going left unsaid. He shouldn't have to clarify. After everything that had happened... after losing their father, after watching Gullswoop recover from harm and Bitternwing try to pull herself out of the depths of grief, he wasn't going anywhere. "And don't be a fishbrain," he mewed with something almost like humor, swatting Gullswoop's muzzle with the end of his dense, feathery black tabby tail. "You weren't supposed to chase after me. I never should have left."
But he did. And it was mud at the bottom of the creek, now. No use dwelling on... the past.
Not when the past could be so painful. So full of regret.
Crowblaze whispered, his words hoarse which prompted Gullswoop to move a little closer. Titliting his ears to better capture what ever words came from his big borther. He felt guilt wash over him for a moment. Gullswoop was selfish to think he was alone in his pain. Not only had Crowblaze lost his mother, but as he said, he risked losing more siblings. Gullswoop tried to think back to the memories of his time in the nursery. It was Swanfeather that kept them safe, she did her very best to prevent them getting sick. A tender moment from such a harsh she-cat.
Watching as his brother moved around him, Gullswoop followed his brother with his head. Listening carefully to everything that came out of his mouth. Crowblaze's words provided him comfort. Knowing that his brother was back gave him part of what he needed. Gullswoop wanted his family around him, sleeping beside him or teasing him about his thick fur when he forgot to groom.
"I forgive you, not because you are my brother but because you came back and you showed me that in the end family is all that matters." Gullswoop said softly doing his best to meet his brother's gaze, his eyes soft and swirling with emotion.
The light humor that followed after such a tense moment was enough to have Gullswoop letting go of a short laugh. His brother's tail swatting his muzzle and his reaction to nip at his tail but missing on purpose. Gullswoop rose up to his paws and pressed his head into the nook of Crowblaze's neck to comfort them both. It would take some time before Gullswoop fully trusted his brother, but then again Gullswoop was perhaps the most trusting cat. For some it would take moons for him it would take a matter of days, provide nothing tragic happened.
"Race you to the river," Gullswoop meowed into his brother's ear before stepping back and bolting forward. His long legs providing him a longer stride.
Post by Fawntastic on Dec 19, 2016 11:32:21 GMT -5
39 Moons. Loner. Tom. -
Crowblaze didn't like getting sentimental. He didn't care to get all weepy and fall to pieces like some cats could. However, even he couldn't pretend his heart hadn't heaved a sigh of relief when Gullswoop said he'd forgiven him. Now for Bitternwing and Heronstrike... They'd forgive him too. He hoped. When his brother gently pressed his head into his dark tabby neck fur, Crowblaze's ears pressed flat with embarrassment - unsure how to deal with affection like this, even from his kin.
It was a relief when Gullswoop straightened up, flashed a smile and tossed a challenge at him.
"Race you to the river."
The dark tabby warrior's eyes gleamed, readily accepting this new competition. "You'll be sorry you even suggested it!" He boasted, and with barely a heartbeat to spare, Gullswoop had already taken off. Crowblaze let out a harsh laugh of surprise, then, pushing off with powerful back legs, he sprang into a run, putting the energy and strength into his limbs to keep himself going. His tail swing wide like a rudder, keeping him balanced as he pursued his silver-furred sibling.
It felt good to just run.
And to run with someone he didn't have to slow down for. They were both half StoneClan - which meant they had better endurance than the average RainClan cat. For once, he was able to be proud of that fact.
Their relationship was hardly perfect, but it was on the mend.
And that was more than enough for him.
Word Count: 247 Words Tags:Hellion Notes: <3 Finished! Yay family!