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Owlflight had come away from camp again for some clarity of thought. It had been a good few suns since the purists had been driven out, and the territories were finally safe again, though of course they didn't necessarily feel that way. The wind rippled through her fur as she gently shut her eyes, letting the sounds of her surroundings take over her senses, trying to drown out the memories of her murdered clanmates as best she could.

The river's rushing merged with the wind's voice, rustling the dead leaves on the ground and off the trees. The prey was all around her as well, living their day to day lives as if nothing had ever happened, which for them it of course hadn't. She tried to let it all wash over her, her ears twitching at each rustle-

Crack

She shuddered, eyes open as she glared to the side. It was just a sparrow, hopping among the leaves, but the sound had broken her concentration. In a flash she saw Vultureback's body in her mind's eye and shuddered, trying to clear her mind again-

Rustle

There was the massacre she had witnessed, bodies strewn everywhere in pools of blood, and in her heart the she-cat felt a bubble of rage.

"Foxdung!"

She muttered to herself, startling the sparrow as she got to her paws again. She hated this, this anger in her heart, hated the fury that had coursed through her during the civil war. She always prided herself on being calm, on staying steady, but ever since the killings she had felt out of control, letting her temper get the best of her, letting the fury at the deaths blind her to anything else. She hated it, but all she felt for the disgraced purists was a felicidal instinct. It was understandable, an obvious consequence on horrific times, and she knew all too well that other clan members had it so much worse emotionally. She hadn't personally lost any family, hadn't had any close friends die, yet clanmate was family, and she could still feel the effects of the war like tendrils grasping at her heart. She just didn't know how to feel, and was still numb to just what had happened, it all seemed so unreal, and this angry and violent side of her was not a side she had ever wanted to meet.

Fawn

[Fawn]

36 Moons. Tom. - "Foxdung!" It wasn't like Owlflight of all cats to lose their cool. Crowblaze, his fishing skills having never been anything to admire, cut his personal celebrations short, the silvery-scaled roach in his mouth forgotten as he went to see what the fuss was about. Things were different now. No cat could say otherwise. Crowblaze set the fish down, gazing hard at the blue-eyed silver tabby as if noticing her for the first time. Though his memories of confronting the Purists - of discovering the bodies, of the unfiltered rage coursing through his veins - were centered around the murderers, he remembered her being present for some things. She'd been there to help bring in Leopardyowl, and she had squared off against Petallfall in the final fight. The former had earned his respect. The latter had earned his envy; what he would have given to have a chance at ripping apart that filth... Crowblaze had every right to be angry, to feel fury over all of the wrongs his family had suffered. Though the wounds to his heart went beyond his immediate kin; he had grieved for every body they brought back to camp, swallowing down a bitter screech each time they had to dig a fresh grave. "Everything still hurts, doesn't it?" Crowblaze growled, his voice turned harsh by the collection of thoughts flashing behind his eyes. "Knowing it's over, but nothing feels fixed?" Stormhear was Stormstar now. Rushwhisker was deputy. That disgusting piece of crowfood, Swanfeather, was no longer their medicine cat. Yet nothing felt whole again. Not yet. Everything still felt broken. Feelings had still gone unresolved. Sitting down stiffly nearby, Crowblaze gazed at the water, expression dark, orange eyes burning like a forest fire. "I don't envy the next idiot to cross the border," he snorted, remarking with that cynical brand of humor he enjoyed most. "Some of us are still so angry, we'll take any excuse to shred the next fishbrain that gets in our way." At least the other Clans would know RainClan was doing alright. That they were strong enough to defend their borders now that this mess was over. Word Count: 339 Words Tags: @sparrowkeeper Notes:

[Deleted]

Owlflight glanced to her side as she heard another cat approaching her, trying not to move too much as she turned to look at Crowblaze. Her wounds from the final battle were still very apparent on her pelt, and any kind of rapid movement made them smart and sting, so she kept relatively still as she regarded him.

She hadn't spoken to him much before, having only known him through the general grapevine of the clan. He was half StoneClan, with a brother who had left to join that clan himself, and had been a loner for a while. She remembered his departure and his return as more of an issue of hope than anything else. It had been a beacon to her that cats who leave may still come back, may still rejoin the clan happily. She smiled a little at him despite herself, associating him with a positive concept.

"You can say that again."

She mewed wryly, raising up her left leg slightly as an illustration of the bite marks that still stood out lividly against her fur. The topic was a sombre one however, so her smile was fleeting, and she turned her head slowly back to look at the water again. She could hear the anger in Crowblaze's voice, and felt it echo in her own belly. She frowned softly, trying reflexively to internally clamp down on the emotion as he continued. She kept staring at the water, feeling as troubled as the currents. He was right, nothing felt fixed or right anymore. They had supposedly driven out the "bad guys," but it felt like the fear and hatred was still alive and well among them. There were purists mingling with loyalists within the camp, and the dislike and distrust was still palpable. Owlflight herself could feel it, though she hated herself for being so judgemental. She exhaled softly at Crowblaze's remark, casting a side glance at him and chuckling,

"I'd rather like to see their face to be honest, just before they high-tail it home, would be a pretty picture."

She mewed in return, tail twitching lightly as she did so. She paused however, a silence settling as she struggled over what she wanted to say. She felt troubled over what had happened, about the divisions within the clan and within herself, but she barely knew this tom, and she wasn't really the sort to have heart-to-hearts.

"I'm not really sure what to feel."

Was what she managed, ears splaying to the sides slightly.

Fawn

[Fawn]

36 Moons. Loner. Tom. - "I'm not really sure what to feel." Crowblaze shrugged. "Maybe you're still in shock. Or you're feeling too much at once." StarClan, he knew what that was like. Having so much going on inside your head and your heart, you couldn't make sense of it. After his mother's death and his decision to leave RainClan for a while... That had been a tough couple of moons. Even to this day he was relieved that no Clan-cat had ever seen him grieve. Maturity had been slow to reach Crowblaze, even with a warrior name, he'd still been a stubborn young tom who could neither control his feelings nor make sense of them half the time. This ended up being a volatile combination, and his absence from the Clan had likely spared him and his former mentor, Timberstar, a few embarrassing conversations that would involve him doing apprentice duties for acting out or starting a fight. At least Gullswoop and Bitternwing hadn't grown up thinking he was an angry, temperamental jerk. "It'll pass." Crowblaze meowed gruffly. "Unless you're like me, then you're as stuck as a fish without fins." The tabby warrior snorted. "I'm not the tom you want to talk to about getting over things. Never was very good at it." No, he wasn't. He held onto grudges more tightly than a tree held on to it's bark. Word Count: 229 Words Tags: @sparrowkeeper Notes: :x sorry it's so short!

[Deleted]

Owlflight chuckled a little, a bit of a cynical tone colouring her voice as she replied,

"Well I certainly hope it'll pass. I have a purist apprentice, so if I can't learn to let go then I'm going to fox-up my first ever teaching role."

She glanced at him again, feeling rather thankful to be talking to someone who held a grudge so much more than she did. She could talk about her own anger and resentment with freedom and without fear of judgement, knowing that he was so familiar with the emotions. It was like she was just dipping her paws in the water, new and afraid of drowning, and he was swimming freely in the deep water before her, happy and calling out that it wasn't as bad as she feared. She found it rather liberating, and it loosened her tongue.

"I always wanted an apprentice, and I was so proud and happy to get one, but when I heard that it was Goldpaw I mostly just felt bitter and apprehensive."

She sighed, braving the discomfort of movement that her wounds caused and allowing herself to slump, head hanging low as she shook it softly from side to side.

"I want to let go, but I honestly don't think I ever will."

She admitted, and as she said it she finally began to accept it herself. She had been fighting this ever since the killings started, unable to come to terms with the stubborn bitterness of it all that she was so unused to ever acknowledging in herself. In that moment the image of her sister flashed before her eyes, sweet Daisytail, saying goodbye as she left RainClan forever.

Left me forever.

She buried the feeling as quickly as it appeared, but the idea of leaving lingered, and Owflight turned to Crowblaze,

"What... What was it like... Leaving RainClan?"

She mewed, not quite believing what she was saying. She didn't really think that she would ever consider leaving seriously, but a curiosity had lit up in her of what could lie outside of her current life and all the unresolved bitterness it potentially held, of what Daisytail might be doing now.

"Not that I want to."

She hastily corrected herself, not wanting to give him the wrong idea,

"It just... Even if I never did it, I'd like to know what might be like if I did."

Fawn

[Fawn]

36 Moons. Loner. Tom. - Crowblaze snorted, as if he found Owlflight's predicament to be almost amusing. In a darkly funny sort of way, it was. The loyalists claimed to be so much better than the purists - but at the end of the day, both sides were guilty of resent, mistrust and fear when it came to the others. "Don't resent Goldpaw. It's not his fault he has fishbrained parents. If anything, you can probably get that Purist nonsense out of his head before it's too late." That must've been why she was chosen. She was level-headed and had a calm presence about her - though it was clear to him now that some of this was a projection. An effort to stay calm. The water's surface could be still, but deep underneath, like her emotions, the fish were alive and going about their lives. "What... What was it like... Leaving RainClan?" There's a question he had expected to come up sooner or later; he'd anticipated it being one of the apprentices, or even one of his siblings. That it was Owlflight asking was a bit surprising, but not overly so. "Liberating." He began, grooming his face with a wet paw as he contemplated his answer. "No Clan rules. It's lonely after a while though; you have to do everything yourself. Keep watch. Hunt. Make your own nest. Find fresh water. It's hard, but if you can adjust to living in the mountains, it's a good way to learn new things." Both about their home, the laws of the wild beyond Clan life, and about one's self. More than anything else, Crowblaze, with only himself for company, had learned a great deal about himself. What it meant to be him; what he had left behind, and more importantly, why he had left those things behind. He had run away to escape the reality of his life, but at every turn, he would crash right into it, unable to fully get away. He couldn't outrun his own thoughts. That kind of lifestyle - plus the solitude - could make any cat go crazy if they weren't resolved to survive by themselves. The dark tabby tom had learned a hard, solitary lesson on how to look out for himself. Word Count: 369 Words Tags: @sparrowkeeper Notes:

[Deleted]

Warrior of RainClan. She-Cat. 20 Moons

Owlflight dipped her head in grudging acknowledgement at Crowblaze's advice on Goldpaw, noting the point he had and trying to take it to heart,

He's just an apprentice after all, and just because his family supported murder, doesn't mean that he will

She cocked her ears up when he started talking about leaving the clan, curious despite the awkwardness she felt for having asked in the first place. She let his description colour her mind's eye as she imagined what her sister's life must be like right now.

Liberating, no rules, independent

The ideas comforted her, and the edges of her mouth curled up in the echo of a smile as she listened. She knew that Daisytail wouldn't feel lonely out there, since she was with someone else, and Owlflight tried to let that positive feeling push down her own feelings of abandonment as she continued,

"Thank you for telling me, I appreciate plenty of cats must have pestered you about your experiences as well as me."

She mewed, having the grace to look a little sheepish as she glanced away,

"I've been rather more talkative than usual, and I'm sorry about that. I swear I'm not the sort to start blabbering about my worries and asking personal questions of every cat I meet."

223 Words -
Fawn - Notes

[Fawn]

36 Moons. Loner. Tom. - Crowblaze nodded coolly, not bothered by her questions. They were annoying when they came from kits and apprentices—cats who wanted to hear tales of glory and danger—but a full grown warrioress asking was fine. Owlflight's questions had been tolerable, or at least of a better quality than "did you have to eat crowfood to survive?" and "why do you smell funny?" A healthy silence lapsed between them, unmolested by murder and mistrust, like he had with some of the others. Crowblaze stared at the water, ignoring the flood of memories trying to break through. He'd done enough reminiscing today to last him till the next moon. "I'm going hunting." Crowblaze glanced at the she-cat nearby. The fact that he hadn't walked off immediately was invitation enough. Orange eyes intense, but not filled with judgement or anger this time, rested on her features as he waited for her reaction. He wouldn't mind the company. She was an alright cat. Word Count: 0158 Words Tags: @sparrowkeeper Notes: Thread finished?

[Deleted]

Warrior of RainClan. She-Cat. 20 Moons

Owlflight smiled, glad that she hadn't been metaphorically stepping on Crowblaze's tail, and glanced back at the water as the pair lapsed into silence.

The wind ruffled her ears as the warrior looked up into the sky above their heads, watching as the clouds were gradually whipped up and rolled in towards them. She drew in the sweet scent of wet earth that told tales of a storm to come and smiled with an uninhibited and full expression, eyes wrinkling up at the sides happily. She was always a fan of big storms, with their strong winds that reminded her of how powerful nature was, how small in comparison her worries were. She believed wholly in StarClan, but nothing made her feel so simultaneously insignificant and infinite as the sheer force of nature.

Our lives are so tiny and inconsequential, and yet we're just as much a part of this great show as each raindrop, each breath of wind that gives rise to the storm

She mused, and with the previous conversation in mind this helped her feel much better about her anger, about the Purists. What had happened was awful, but life was going to move on, and so would she, even if she didn't move quickly or felt like she was trapped.

She sighed softly, breath moving out of her like the wind stole it, and felt herself relax like she hadn't managed to in a long time. They sat there for a while before Crowblaze broke the silence, and when he did Owlflight was almost surprised, as if she had forgotten to track the passage of time. Rarely did she come across a cat who could sit next to her in such a comfortable silence, and she felt a surge of positive feeling towards him.

She met his gaze, feeling an odd leap in her chest that she couldn't quite place, and stood to join him, taking his expression as invitation and nodding her agreement.

"Let's."

309 Words -
Fawn - Notes: Yah sure ^_^