[Insidious]

Bluejay’s journey to the Moon Tree was shorter than she had grown used to. She never visited without a purpose, but this one in particular was of special significance. Lionstar sought her out to discuss a horrible dream that StarClan shared with him, presumably about Meadowleaf, and it was her job to seek out their ancestors for an answer to the burning question: If not Meadowleaf, then who? Lionstar had outlived far too many beneath him in power, and even though Bluejay would never wish to see his last life taken from him, she could understand where he was coming from. StarClan continued to undermine his choices, but his medicine cat didn’t question their motives. He had served his Clan for many, many moons, and he would leave an enormous shoe for his predecessor to fill. The adjustment would be difficult for TreeClan to make when the time finally came, and StarClan wanted to make sure the right cat was in the position. Bluejay also wanted that, both for her Clan and for her leader’s peace of mind, so she vowed to remain at the Moon Tree for as long as it took to reveal the identity of TreeClan’s true deputy.

She took a minute to marvel at the presence of the Moon Tree. Even when she was awake, she could feel the power it emitted. With respect for her ancestors glittering in her pale blue eyes like diamonds, she welcomed the gentle embrace of sleep, and when she opened her eyes again she was suddenly home. Bluejay knew she was somewhere otherworldly, but she would recognize the layout of TreeClan territory like the back of her paw. The medicine cat knowingly turned onto the path towards camp, and she drifted across the ground, keeping her eyes wide open for a sign. As she got closer, the foliage started to sizzle, and she watched with a mixture of amazement and horror as the once beautiful, flourishing meadow leaves erupted into a blazing pool of fire, and left nothing in their wake except for a charred layer of dust. She immediately knew it was a vision of Lionstar’s dream. She knew what it meant when he told her about it, but she hadn’t known how viciously and how chaotically the meadow had burned. It seemed that their ancestors were insistent about Meadowleaf being replaced before it was too late; she didn’t even want to think about what the alternative would be to allowing her to keep her position. Bluejay turned away from the crispy leaves because she no longer wanted to look at them, and then she continued along the path towards camp with her head down. As soon as she pushed through the familiar entranceway an unexpected scent hit the roof of her mouth, and she shook her head in disbelief, almost afraid to lift her eyes off of the ground.

Pinkcloud.

StarClan had most certainly treated her well. Amongst the stars, Pinkcloud glowed, and she looked happier than Bluejay had ever seen her look before. That realization saddened her, if only briefly, because Bluejay had devoted her entire life to making Pinkcloud happy—so was she truly happier now that was no longer alive? The medicine cat had a knack for keeping her depressing emotions under wraps, but it had always been different with her sister. Pinkcloud could see through her, and when the albino crossed the distance between them and touched her nose to Bluejay’s, she knew it was because her eyes had betrayed her. “I miss you.” Pinkcloud said hardly above a whisper, nudging Bluejay’s ear playfully with her nose in an attempt to ease her mood. Had it been anyone else, the gesture would’ve fallen flat, but she would always be able to muster a smile for her sister. “I miss you. I miss… so much. I can’t begin to put it into words.” The medicine cat shook her head, overwhelmed by an unanticipated wave of grief, but she knew Pinkcloud understood, and that she wouldn’t require her to say another word before she was ready. The two of them sat with each other in silence for a length of time Bluejay couldn’t be bothered to track. The purpose behind her visitation was strictly for Lionstar, but she couldn’t help sparing a few moments of her time for something as personal as this.

She took a deep breath, and then she slowly lifted her eyes to the beautiful, soft pink of her sister’s. “The meadow is on fire. It’s not even on fire anymore, Pinkcloud—it’s black and charred and there’s nothing left of it. If Meadowleaf isn’t meant to be TreeClan’s deputy, then who will StarClan accept? Lionstar can’t bear to lose another one.” She knew her sister wouldn’t be able to give her the crystal clear answer she wanted, but she also knew their bond was so much stronger than even StarClan could hope to comprehend. This entire situation was weighing heavily on Lionstar’s shoulders, and it was weighing heavily on Bluejay by extension; it was clear from the way she spoke that she was distraught, and she didn’t have to look into Pinkcloud’s eyes to know that her sister wanted to spare her the feeling of helplessness and uncertainty—but she did anyways. She wanted to savor every single moment they got to spend together.

“TreeClan’s deputy is none other than the cat we’ve all turned to at one point or another. They’re close to Lionstar. They’re close to you even if it doesn’t always seem that way. They’re close to me.” At that, Bluejay’s expression perked. She knew everyone that had been important in Pinkcloud’s life down to the last detail. Immediately, she worked at narrowing down a list, and Pinkcloud’s soft laughter broke her out of her concentration. “Don’t overthink it, Bluejay. It has been so hard for Lionstar to lose his deputies time and time again. It’s going to feel right. It’s going to be okay this time.” The medicine cat subconsciously nodded along in agreement. It was difficult for her to accept Pinkcloud’s words as fact, simply because of everything Lionstar had endured, but at the same time it was unbearably easy to trust her.

Her surroundings began to shift. She could feel the pull for her consciousness to return. Panicked, Bluejay blinked furiously. She wasn’t ready to go, and she wasn’t going to let StarClan kick her out before—Pinkcloud tapped her shoulder with the tip of her fluffy white tail, and the tension in her body melted away as if on cue. “I want you to come back with me.” It was a silly thing to say, and she knew that, but she couldn’t stop herself. Pinkcloud sucked on her lower lip, reluctant to make a promise she couldn’t keep, but equal parts reluctant to say she couldn’t when on some level she wanted it too. Life had been difficult for her, but Bluejay always made each and every struggle worthwhile at the end of the day. It would be easy to say something to erase the feeling of immeasurable pain that burdened them at the prospect of saying goodbye, but it would be far more impactful for her to show her sister what StarClan enabled her to do. She lifted her pink eyes towards the sky, and the canopies above them shriveled to reveal blistering sunlight. When she had been alive, she had no choice but to avoid the sun, but now it danced across her pale pelt and illuminated all of the qualities that made her especially beautiful. It seeped into her eyes, and even though she squinted—which was such a laughably normal thing for her to do that she had always been deprived of—she could actually look towards it and enjoy the heat. Bluejay’s expression swelled with raw emotion. She loved her sister, and she wanted to spend every second of every day with her, but she didn’t want it badly enough to take this away.

“It’s time for you to return to TreeClan with news of your deputy.” This time, Bluejay didn’t shake her head, but it was obvious she was still against it. Besides, even though she had a couple of ideas, their new deputy’s identity remained a mystery. “I need more than a sign. I can’t leave until I know his or her name. I couldn’t bear to come up with the wrong answer and then be forced to watch Lionstar endure more pain than he has to on my account.” Pinkcloud had known from the moment her sister arrived that this was immeasurably important, but it was starting to become clear to all of StarClan. Her eyes trailed around camp, as if she sought permission, and Bluejay could only watch her in awe because she looked like she was finally sure of her purpose.

Suddenly, Bluejay heard a noise behind her. Startled, she turned around, and the mutilated meadow leaves started to sprout anew right in front of her eyes. Tiny yellow flowers made an appearance, and she watched them bloom until their name dawned on her. Bluejay’s eyes were filled with surprise when she looked back at her sister, but Pinkcloud only smiled in return. It was gorse, and it spread from the entranceway to all over the rest of their camp until the entire area was alive with it. It didn’t feel like a sign. It felt like an answer. The name of a Clanmate immediately surfaced, pushing beyond all of the other candidates she had considered, and with a confident dip of her head she spoke it aloud: “Gorsetail.”

It made sense. He had trained under Lionstar, he had spent time with Bluejay (if not solely because of Pinkcloud), and he held a special place in Pinkcloud’s heart. She almost felt bad for never considering him prior to StarClan’s revelation, but now she couldn’t fathom the position belonging to anyone else. He loved TreeClan. He was a good Clanmate. Sometimes he could be a little soft-spoken, but his heart was in the right place, and leadership would suit him well. The medicine cat shuffled on the spot excitedly. It was the answer Lionstar wanted, and she couldn’t wait to return to TreeClan so that she could tell him—but that meant she had to leave. Pinkcloud’s ears flattened knowingly, and a purr built in her throat as she nuzzled Bluejay’s cheek. “I’m always with you.” The medicine cat released a shaky breath, and after a moment of pause, she allowed her eyes to drift close in preparation to return to the living, but then her heart stopped.

“Wait.”

She was relieved to find that Pinkcloud hadn’t went anywhere, but her sister was clearly taken aback. “There’s one more thing I need to know before I can leave. It’s…” How, exactly, did she say it? “I need to know what he looks like.” Pinkcloud looked confused, but Bluejay only needed to prompt her with a quirk of her brow before she understood. “I need to know what Nightpaw looks like from StarClan.”

Pinkcloud leaned closer, her mouth hovering over Bluejay’s ear. “You don’t need me to tell you that. You’ve already told him the answer.” At that, Bluejay’s smile deepened. Pinkcloud had been there when the two of them talked. She really was always with her.

Again, her eyes fell shut, and she managed to whisper a breathy farewell and a shaky I love you before she sucked in a sharp breath and awoke from her slumber. Her body ached, and her throat felt parched. Judging by the position of the sun, an entire day had passed, and she scrambled to her paws in fear of worrying her Clanmates.

The deputy of TreeClan was none other than Gorsetail, and she exchanged a pleased look with her escorts, Littlestep and Feathercloud, before gesturing for them to take their leave.