Post by Fawn on Sept 4, 2016 21:21:38 GMT -5
Please have mercy on me,
Please have mercy on my heart
I'm a puppet on your string, I need you to set me free
Please have mercy on my heart
39 Moons Warrior Tom
He hadn't expected to go night-fishing, but the days were so hot, he slept when the sun was up and fished when the moon was high. It wasn't the best strategy; even the fish slept, or at least it seemed like it, but he could wait for hours without fear of overheating.
His stomach growled as he laid a fat trout on what would be the fresh kill pile for the day (they would have to be eaten quickly before sunhigh or else risk the fish drying out or beginning to stink). A large yawn parted his jaws, and he mumbled a few sleepy goodnights to the two cats guarding camp as he padded to the warriors den. It was cool inside, and the walls were not so tightly woven that he couldn't hear the lulling rush of the camp stream nearby. His ears were filled with the sounds of his sleeping Clanmates as he stepped carefully around the multicolored bodies.
His nest was towards the back now, and he felt a rush of gratitude upon seeing it undisturbed. He'd made it clear to the remaining warriors that the moss in that nest was staying exactly where it was until Bravebird came home.
Through another gargantuan yawn, Russethawk felt an odd prickle in his pelt. Something was off. This corner of the den looked a little ... emptier than normal. The ruddy tom's heart thudded in momentary confusion as he looked back at the dreaming cats. Where's Lilystream?
After a moment's searching, he found the pretty calico curled up near the front of the den, her tail tucked over nose, her pelt mingling with Ashclaw's. She must have the dawn patrol.
That must've been it. She wouldn't have just moved her nest away from his without saying something. Satisfied with that deduction, Russethawk curled up and added his own soft snores to the rest of the concert filling the warriors’ den.
*
It was Russethawk who had the dawn patrol, and he stumbled drowsily from his nest, milling around after Gullswoop, Ashclaw and Honeygaze.
"Has Lilystream talked to you?"
Russethawk glanced up, surprise coloring his features as he ceased his stretching. "Not lately. Why, is something the matter?"
He and the mottled tom had never been particularly close, but that didn't stop Russethawk from treating him in a friendly manner. Usually. This time he looked hard at him, trying to read whatever this was about. "Is this about the nest thing?" She’d just been sleeping there temporarily. Maybe Ashclaw wanted his spot back? A little voice in the back of his mind snorted at that stupid assumption. Somehow, he felt like clinging to it.
Ashclaw looked uncomfortable. "That's part of it."
Russethawk's stomach turned sour, empty as it was. "I'll catch up with her once we get back." Whatever it was his friend had to share, he wanted to hear it from her.
Lilystream occupied his thoughts as he followed the patrol out of camp. The fur along his spine raised when they circled the wooded cove, and his chest ached to catch a glimpse of Bravebird, but their patrol was mostly uneventful. Ashclaw caught a water vole Russethawk had been too sleepy to notice, but he had the chance to redeem himself with a lightning fast hooking technique that landed a sizeable roach from the willow stream when they stopped for water.
The success didn't really sink in, however; he was distracted, and he probably missed more fish than he caught.
"Russethawk!" The ruddy warrior raised his muzzle clear of the water, a few droplets speckling his chin and throat as he lapped up a quick drink. His emerald green eyes brightened, and that familiar skip-jump of his heart was oddly comforting. So much of RainClan had gotten chaotic nowadays, it felt good to know that at least he still felt this way about a very dear friend. She could always lift his spirits.
"Lily! I feel like I haven't spoken with you in moons." He purred, smiling openly as the pretty warrioress slowed her run into a brisk trot when she was about a fox length away.
"I know,"Lilystream mewed, rueful. "I wish we could've talked earlier. I want you to be the first to know."
The first to know what? Russethawk tilted his head quizzically. "Is this about the nest thing again?"
It was Lilystream's turn to look surprised. "Did Ashclaw already talk to you?"
"Sort of. I told him I wanted to hear it from you first." Wearing his usual friendly grin, Russethawk gave her a gentle nudge to the shoulder with his paw. Just enough to jostle her slightly. "Out with it, C'mon! You've been dying to tell me something, huh?"
Lilystream beamed at him, and he felt his heart skip-jump again.
Taking on an uncharacteristic shyness, as Lilystream spoke, the smile on Russethawk's face fell like a fish bone into the river.
"Ashclaw and I... We're mates now."
W...What? He was hearing her, but he wasn't hearing her.
"And then when newleaf gets here," Lilystream's voice fluttered with excitement, and the happiness in her eyes briefly glued his heart back together. "We're going to start a family."
Kits! She's talking about kits! Russethawk felt as if the ground was sliding out from underneath him. There was no place to hold on; only able to stare in disbelief, it was Lilystream's timid mew that broke the dizzying sense of... falling.
"Russethawk?"
He managed a smile, voice cracking. "That's great, Lilystream! Ashclaw's a lucky tom, and he'd better treat you well or else he's fish food." The purr got stuck in his throat, a lump in the way.
Lilystream stepped closer, concern glimmering in her pale green eyes.
He forced himself to keep talking, feigning, for the life of him, that he was fine. This was fine. Ashclaw was fine.
"I was just... thinking about all the great times we spent together, Lily. Remember that time you fell into the river?" The smile didn't reach his eyes, but by StarClan he was trying to be happy for her. To really mean those words. To not look at Ashclaw as if the warrior had taken his best friend away from him.
"I remember!" Lilystream purred, her tail wrapping neatly around her paws.
"I was freaked out that day. Afraid I'd lose you..." Russethawk's stomach wriggled like a dying eel, struggling against the inevitable. "I'm not losing you now, right?" He meant it as a light hearted tease, particularly towards the nest arrangement, but there was desperation there that Russethawk couldn't have prevented.
"Of course not, Russethawk. We'll always be friends, even in StarClan." Lilystream touched noses to his, and he smiled again, plastering on a grin that made his face hurt. It was hard, it was so damn hard to smile when he didn't know if he meant it or not.
Is that all we were ever gonna be? Maybe if he'd acted sooner. Maybe if he'd put a label to the feelings he'd had for her since apprenticeship... Ashclaw would just be a regular Clanmate, and they would be planning for a Newleaf litter.
Another RainClan cat called for Lilystream, and they were forced to part ways. She threw him another rueful look, as if she would've liked to enjoy more memories with him.
"Goodbye, Russethawk. I'll save you a trout."
"Yeah! Sounds great!" He shouted after the hurrying calico, the lump in his throat tightening. Russethawk looked long after she had gone from his line of view. When he knew his best friend could no longer see him, his smile faded, drying up like dew at sunhigh.
Goodbye, Lilystream...
Words: 1278 Words || Tags: Phoenix @zen || Notes: Set in Greenleaf