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Post by Fawn on Aug 25, 2016 22:44:57 GMT -5
21 Moons. RainClan. She-Cat. It was raining again. Bitternwing did not normally fish during the rain, but the much needed change in weather was so badly needed that she was among the first cats to make a honeybeeline for the the river. Things became tense, however, when a few fleeting glimpses of a Purist here or a Purist there put almost every cat on edge, but thankfully, nothing came of it. Nothing more than whispers and scowls and anxious glances.
StarClan was looking down upon her with kindness; two trips were required to bring back the sizeable trout and small catch of minnows that marked Bitternwing’s efforts for the day. She’d surprised a few cats by her small size—most weren’t used to seeing her fur so wet; the look of brief confusion on Crowblaze’s and Gullswoop’s face when she went over to visit was almost worth going out in the rain by itself.
Feeling good for having provided for her Clan, Bitternwing ambled her way to the camp stream, happy to feel sodden grass and river mud beneath her paws as she moved.
It was difficult to distinguish scents in the rain, as well as immediately after the rain; so when she spotted a familiar tabby-and-white pelt, her heart had stumbled against her ribcage. Rushwhisker! Oh, wait... Not quite.
Whiskers twitching, ear tips pricking forward with amusement, Bitternwing increased her pace, mewing softly but warmly to the cat she now recognized as Ashpaw. "Hello, I'm not disturbing you, am I? If you'd like to be alone, I can go." That was Bitternwing for you. She'd leave the entire camp stream to some other cat if they needed the privacy.
I hope she's been adjusting well. Rushwhisker seems happy, but... how about her? Bitternwing steeled herself against prying thoughts and prying questions, determined to be content simply to enjoy the fact that Ashpaw was back, for good this time.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2016 12:31:43 GMT -5
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Letting the rain soak into her pelt, Ashpaw sat beside the camp stream, enjoying the relief from the long greeneleaf heat, and the solitude away from the busy camp. Well, it was far less busy than it could be, she supposed. As terrible as it was that RainClan was split into two camps, it was actually rather fortunate for Ashpaw's return. The camp was only half full of cats. She found she was adjusting to Clan life easier than she had expected, and wondered if it might have something to do with the smaller numbers of cats the divide in RainClan had caused. Maybe she would have been fine either way, she would never know, but she believed it would have been far harder for her if the entire Clan still occupied the camp.
Her tail curled loosely around her paws as she closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of the rain, which was not nearly as cold as it had been in the mountains, far more cool and refreshing. The mountain rain had felt like ice, chilling straight to the bones, keeping cat and prey alike in whatever shelter could be found until it had ended for fear of catching ill. The ruthless mountain winds had not helped. What an unforgiving place the mountains were. Ashpaw had no idea what drew any cat to live there. She hated the mountains. She cast up through the rain, the gray outline of the mountains towering in the distance. For all the moons she had spent there, she was confident she would never be able to find her way back to anywhere specific. All gray and brown and stone, with very little by way of landmarks and no scent marks, she had truly wandered them for all those moons, never knowing where she was going.
Turning back to the stream, she watched it flow by, her whiskers dripping raindrops. It seemed that the stream had already swollen with rain, it was noticeably wider than it had been since she had returned to the valley. She glanced behind her, where the dark line in the mud still marked where the stream's bank SHOULD be. Hopefully the rain would stay, would replenish the rivers and streams, and then hopefully it would stay cooler and not return to the oppressive heat that pervaded the valley for so long. As she was surveying the bank, she caught sight of movement and peered through the rain at the cat approaching. Bitternwing, she reminded herself. The she-cat that had been with Russethawk when she was found at the border. She felt comfortable around Bitternwing, for some reason.
So when Bitternwing offered to leave her to her solitude, she shook her head, “No, it's fine if you stay. I enjoy company just... not so much of it.” She purred amusement, glancing back at camp. She would get used to it eventually. It was nice having other cats around, it was just a bit overwhelming to have so many around all the time. She cast a glance at her companion, tilting her head slightly, “You're good friends with Rushwhisker, aren't you?” She had noticed that Bitternwing seemed to be one of the few cats her brother sought out in camp, besides herself and Russethawk.
She thought she had also noticed something in Bitternwing that made her whiskers twitch with happy amusement, but she wasn't sure. It had been some time since she had been around other cats, after all, and she wasn't very familiar with the signs, but when a cat wasn't even trying to, or perhaps was simply very bad at hiding them, like Bitternwing, it seemed obvious even to her. Then again, she had trained herself to read other cats fairly well, so perhaps it wasn't as obvious as she thought. She would not bring it up just yet, however. She didn't know Bitternwing well enough to be pestering her about how she may or not have feelings deeper than friendship for Rushwhisker.
But she he hoped it was true. Her brother needed some cat in RainClan to help him get over this TreeClan medicine cat, whoever she was. She wished she had some other cat to talk to about it, but she didn't know who, if anyone, Rushwhisker might have told about Bluejay, and she didn't want to give him away or betray his trust in her. And if Bitternwing knew.... She studied the younger she-cat for a moment, wondering. How would a cat who had feelings for Rushwhisker feel about him being in love with a cat from another Clan? Awful, most likely. She wondered if Rushwhisker had noticed Bitternwing's inclinations toward him. If he had, he certainly wasn't showing any sign of it. And after he had promised her he would try to open his eyes to the she-cats in his own Clan, too. She nearly shook her head at her brother's blindness. He must really have it bad for this Bluejay to not see what was right in front of him.
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
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Post by Fawn on Aug 26, 2016 20:31:22 GMT -5
21 Moons. RainClan. She-Cat. Bitternwing purred, sympathizing with Ashpaw's reluctance to... hurl herself into social interaction. After so much forced solitude (and perhaps preferred), coming back to the Clan must've been... difficult to adjust to. It hadn't escaped Bitternwing's notice that Rushwhisker and Ashpaw had both slept outside the warrior's den on her first night home. Bitternwing had, unsurprisingly, curled up next to Gullswoop, feeling a sense of attachment for her littermate.
"It can be hard, I'm sure. Everycat must have a dozen questions for you." Bitternwing let a soft silence lapse between them, unbothered by the peacefulness. Lowering delicately to the water's edge, she took a few gulps of water, lapping at the rain-risen stream gratefully. She took a few more, just in case there was a dry spell in the morning.
Straightening, whiskers beaded with moisture that rolled onto the grass like rain as she climbed back up the short muddy slope to sit beside Ashpaw, her eyes widened briefly as the topic came around to Rushwhisker. She smiled, feeling somewhat shy. "I hope so. I consider him a really good friend." Other than the tabby tom she found herself padding after (both literally and in matters of the heart), Bitternwing could not claim too many close friends. Gullswoop counted, of course, but as for friends with no biological relation to her...
Just Russethawk and Rushwhisker. But hopefully Ashpaw too.
"Has he... said something about me?" Her attempts to be casual were foiled, however; Bitternwing normally would've cleaned her face, given her whiskers a good once-over, but the mud on her fluffy pale paws was a good preventative. Instead, she looked at the trees, burning a little under her waterlogged fur; her ears pricked forward in surprise as she saw a bluejay perched, jeering noisily from the bough of a tree.
She resisted the urge to glance at Ashpaw, a question now burning in her mind over whether or not Rushwhisker had... confided in his sister about his feelings for Bluejay. I don't even think Russethawk knows about her. If he wouldn't tell his mentor... and he had only been forced to tell her because what happened at the Gathering... Maybe he wasn't ready to share with Ashpaw yet. Bitternwing's tail twitched, feeling a little dismayed; if he'd been more willing to talk, perhaps that meant he was more willing to let her go?
Bitternwing looked at the bluejay again, watching it jeer, admiring the striking plumage and thinking of the TreeClan healer so many pawsteps away. Without meaning to, Bitternwing uttered a small sigh.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2016 12:16:19 GMT -5
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
What Bitternwing said wasn't far from the truth. Every cat seemed to be curious and want all the details of her life in the mountains. The honest truth was there really wasn't that much to tell. It had been a miserable time, riddled with grief and guilt and loneliness. She had survived in the mountains, but she wouldn't call it living. Paranoia had pervaded her every thought and action, had her constantly watching the sky, searching every shadow, and avoiding contact with her own kind at any cost, unable to trust those she ran into. She glanced at the sky now, briefly. Eagles were rarely seen out in the rain and so she felt slightly more at ease out in the open today, but that didn't mean she was going to throw caution completely to the wind and leave herself open to attack.
A soft smile came to her muzzle at Bitternwing's answer. Even if she was wrong and Bitternwing did only feel the affection of friendship for her brother, she was still glad of it. Rushwhisker had been a social cat before she had disappeared. Seeing him with so few friends upon her return had her feeling guilty all over again, wondering if his siblings' disappearances had something to do with his apparent withdrawal, and knowing very well that those disappearances had everything to do with her. Her whiskers twitched as Bitternwing asked if Rushwhisker had said anything about her to him and she purred in soft amusement, “He thinks very highly of you. He's very grateful for your friendship.”
She honestly wished Rushwhisker spoke MORE of Bittenwing than he had. But he had told her that much, when she'd asked how long he had been friends with the she-cat and how close they were, attempting to hint at what she saw in Bitternwing. He had been completely oblivious, which only had her sighing in exasperation, much to his confusion. She wouldn't push the idea on him more until she knew for sure how Bitternwing felt, however, and so she had left it at that. Her ear angled toward her companion as she caught the sound of the soft sigh she emitted. She turned to look at Bitternwing, her gaze narrowing slightly in concern, “Are you all right?”
She wondered if she had said something wrong. Then again, thinking about what she had said... if Bitternwing did have feelings for Rushwhisker, being told how he was grateful for her friendship might not have been exactly what she wanted to hear. Her tail lashed once, annoyed at how fishbrained her brother was. Here was a perfectly lovely she-cat in his own Clan who he already cared about, and still he was looking over the border for a cat he couldn't have and had supposedly ended things with already. Feeling a bit awkward, she shifted closer to Bitternwing to give her a gentle, encouraging nudge with her shoulder, “I'm sure he'll open his eyes soon.”
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and then there was nothing she could do to take them back. Straightening, she looked out over the stream, her fur bushing up slightly, a bit uncomfortable with the turn their conversation had taken and hoping she wasn't making a complete fool of herself and getting everything wrong. “I'm sorry he's such a complete fishbrain,” she half growled. She wanted to meet Bluejay more than ever, to see just why her brother had fallen so hard for her and couldn't seem to let her go. She did not know Bitternwing very well yet, but she was already certain she would make a wonderful match for Rushwhisker. If only he would try.
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
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Post by Fawn on Aug 27, 2016 22:59:11 GMT -5
21 Moons. RainClan. She-Cat. There it was again, that soft glow of happiness whenever she heard good news about herself from Rushwhisker's mouth; that it came from Ashpaw instead of him directly did not dampen how she felt about it. I'm like an apprentice that's just caught their first minnow... Why did she get so excited over...hearing what he thought of her? Bitternwing had her doubts that Rushwhisker would ever speak of her in a way that wasn't strictly platonic, yet her heart still leaped at the idea, as if she didn't know to expect anything better. As if that was all she could get, and she might as well settle for minnows...
Bitternwing's pelt prickled in surprise as Ashpaw intuitively asked her what was wrong. Just about to utter a half-formed excuse, her jaws had parted, and then stayed open as Ashpaw got to the heart of the matter in the span of a heartbeat. "I... You're... You're very perceptive," she finished off weakly.
Great StarClan, did every cat in the Clan know she liked Rushwhisker except for him? Russethawk knew... Gullswoop probably knew, now Ashpaw... It wasn't that many cats, but to the flustered she-cat, it felt like two dozen. Badly wanting to believe Ashpaw, she wore a sad smile, shaking her head at the other she-cat. "I don't think he'll have a change of heart, Ashpaw. I'd like to cling to that hope, but..." Her voice quieted down, a soft aura of contemplation surrounding the wet, long-furred warrioress. Without looking at Ashpaw, she whispered. "Can you really fall out of love, once you've fallen in?" It must be like swimming from one side of the river to the other, except the banks get further away. You have no choice but to ride the current. To accept your fate.
Maybe that was her fate, too? Rushwhisker could not give up Bluejay, not for all the time in the world. How could he? She was a wonderful cat. Truly. Bitternwing felt tired of drowning, though; tired of trying to hold her head above water, hoping he'd notice, hoping he'd nudge over a branch, anything to give her a sliver of hope beyond what her own almost masochistic optimism regularly conjured.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2016 23:53:32 GMT -5
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Ashpaw's ears flattened against her head. She didn't want Bitternwing to give up on Rushwhisker, but hers were not promising words. She studied the younger she-cat for a moment. It seemed like maybe she knew about Bluejay, but she could just as easily have been talking about herself as Rushwhisker when she spoke of falling out of love. Well, knowing for sure now that Bitternwing did indeed care about her brother, she was sure that even if she didn't know, she wouldn't betray him if she found out. She sighed, watching the rain form countless ripples in the stream, “I guess I couldn't say. I've never been in love.”
She thought of Colt, her first friend in the mountains, and how he had left her after she had rejected his love, rather than staying with her knowing they could never be together like he wanted. Had he moved on? Maybe it was easier to do when the cat you loved was not in love with you in return. From the way Rushwhisker had spoken of Bluejay, it sounded like they had both fallen into the dangerous game of a cross Clan love. It had not been one-sided like Colt's love for her. She wasn't even sure Colt had actually loved her or if he had just been infatuated because she was taking care of him, feeding him and teaching him how to hunt for himself. Personally she thought he had been confused, not in love.
“Well, I'm here now,” her whiskers twitched with amusement as she turned back to Bitternwing, determination clear on her features, “I'll be happy to bat him around a bit until he gets some sense knocked into him.” She purred, flicking Bitternwing playfully with her tail, “Really though... he promised me he would try to be more aware of the cats in his own Clan.” And now she was rather clearly referring to Bluejay. “I'll make sure he keeps that promise, one way or another.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief and she put on a mock tone, “Oh hey, Rushwhisker... Bitternwing is rather pretty, don't you think?” She laughed, wondering just how her brother might respond, but became serious a moment later.
“He's been lost in thoughts about some other cat for moons. Some cat just needs to drag him out, hissing and spitting if necessary. He's probably never looked at you like that before, but if some cat puts the thought in his head, I'm sure he'll start to open his eyes and actually see you.” Her tail curled around her paws in her self satisfaction. Subtle manipulation like that was easy. “All we have to do is plant the idea and wait for it to bloom. It doesn't even give away your own feelings, so it wouldn't make anything unnecessarily awkward.” She was actually getting rather excited about it. She wanted her brother to find happiness, inside RainClan, and Bitternwing had so far proven to be nothing but lovely. She was determined now, now that she had confirmation of Bitternwing's feelings and the beginnings of a plan going forward.
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
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Post by Fawn on Aug 29, 2016 17:04:24 GMT -5
21 Moons. RainClan. She-Cat. If her fur had been a lighter color like her littermate's, Ashpaw probably could've seen how red her skin had gotten beneath her pelt. "No don't!" She exclaimed, eyes wide. Ashpaw was clearly joking—conspiratorially—but Bitternwing's ears shifted forward with interest. "Do... Do you really think that would work?" It surprised her that the two siblings had had a conversation about... Well, about Bluejay, and that Ashpaw had told him to turn his attentions inward, to his own Clan instead of across border lines.
That was a reasonable thing to do. It just occurred to Bitternwing that she didn't know the other she-cat well enough to realize how close she and Rushwhisker must have been. Of course, they likely took care of Icepaw together, being his littermates... Bitternwing blushed again, her tail sweeping to and fro with nervous energy. "Do you think he'd act any differently, after you started putting those thoughts in his head? I don't know what to look out for," she confessed, feeling hope starting to take hold in her heart. It wasn't empty like before. This time there was actual nutrients in the soil to support the roots trying to sink in.
She hadn't realized that Ashpaw wasn't just a friend, Ashpaw was an ally, who clearly wanted something good to happen for Rushwhisker that wasn't in some way breaking the Code. Bitternwing felt touched, dipping her head in soft gratitude over Ashpaw's approval. It meant a lot to have Rushwhisker's sibling think so fondly of her that she was willing to... direct Rushwhisker's gaze on to her. Even if it wouldn't result in anything, Bitternwing still greatly appreciated the effort.
It felt good to have a friend who was willing to do that. Maybe someday I can return the favor. Ashpaw probably had her paws full with other things; adjusting to Clan life, finishing her warrior training and earning her warrior name, reigniting old friendships, visiting Eelpebble. She was a little busy for romance. But if Bitternwing knew anything, it's that this wouldn't always be the case.
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