Caught Up In Building Paradise [Bitternwing] Mar 5, 2016 23:22:56 GMT -5
Post by Zeneka on Mar 5, 2016 23:22:56 GMT -5
I remember the days, new beginnings on an open page...
Rushwhisker hadn't liked how his conversation with Bitternwing had ended at the Gathering. She had given her own opinion on the matter of him sharing RainClan's problems with Bluejay and then she'd just... left. Part of him had wanted to go after her while another part of him had wanted to stay with Bluejay. In the end he'd decided that maybe he should leave her be for now and talk to her back at camp. If he followed her right then he felt their talk would only escalate into an argument in front of all the Clans.
It had given him more time to think on it as well. He knew he had done nothing wrong... but he also wasn't certain he would ever be able to convince Bitternwing of that fact. She would never know Bluejay like he did... but the fact that he knew Bluejay so well would only cast more doubt on his loyalty to RainClan. He had returned to camp feeling weighed down once more, unsure how to approach Bitternwing about what had happened, but knowing that he really had to do so. He didn't want her to think he was disloyal, because he wasn't... he had given up so much for the sake of loyalty to RainClan. It honestly hurt that she might think he was anything but loyal to his Clan after everything he had been through.
He had curled up in his nest with that pain, wishing he knew what to do about it. He couldn't change the past, that he had met Bluejay, that he had fallen in love with her, that he still... cared about her, trusted her like one of his own Clanmates. Seeing her at the Gathering had only rekindled those feelings he had been trying so hard to bury. The next few days, he had left Bitternwing alone. Every time he saw her he was reminded of how she must think he wasn't truly loyal to RainClan, and how he still didn't know how to prove to her that he was. She seemed a bit more... distant when they did interact. It only reinforced his worries.
Finally he couldn't take it anymore. He really liked Bitternwing, had been enjoying their budding friendship, and now it had come to a screeching halt. He wondered if all of his relationships with his Clanmates would end up this way. Would they all start doubting his loyalty? Well, Russethawk wouldn't, he knew that at least. He felt a rush of affection for his mentor, who had been the only consistent, stable thing in his life so far. Even when he'd pushed him away, he'd still been there for him when he'd reached out again, had forgiven him so easily. He was immensely grateful for the ruddy tom, but he wanted more than just Russethawk's friendship. Being in a Clan was about more than just one cat. He had to make Bitternwing see, somehow, that he was as loyal as any RainClan cat.
Spotting the she-cat across camp, he took a deep breath and forced his paws toward her, “Bitternwing....” He paused in front of her, “Can we... can we talk? I really don't want to lose your friendship....” He looked at her hopefully, praying she wouldn't deny him. He took a step toward the camp entrance, “Maybe... we can go hunting?” It may be newleaf, but leaf-bare had yet to loosen its claws on the valley and prey was still pretty scarce.
With something to prove and nothing to lose, not a soul to betray.