Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2016 23:49:26 GMT -5
Leafbare, Day 20
It had been .. she couldn't remember. It had been entirely too long since she had seen the forests of NightClan. She could still feel the sting of rejection, but she had long since learned to live with it. The tom she loved would never be hers, and her moons alone in the mountains had given her time. Time to think, time to mourn, time to sulk. It had taken a long time before she could actually feel something other than numbness and sorrow. It was only after she had nearly starved herself and actually felt the coldness of death that she realised she didn't want to die. Not like that. Not cold and alone and in a hole of self-pity. So she had pulled herself together, rose above herself, and started to take care of herself.
It was difficult. There were times she felt like giving up again. But she pressed on. She wandered in the mountains aimlessly, not really caring where she went. During her self-imposed exile, she learned a lot about herself. She had already known she was a proud bitch of a cat, but being alone made her question what there was to be proud of. There was no one here to gloat to, to tease, to put down to make herself feel better. She had to learn that inflated pride didn't make her any better than anyone else. Had she learned modesty? Not by a long shot. But she knew that her pride was hollow and hid more insecurities than she knew she had.
So she had learned to better herself. Fending for herself was tough. She had to learn to adapt. She taught herself to hunt in ways she had never needed to before, and learned that just about anything could be a comfortable place to rest if you were tired enough. Still, even with her newfound hunting techniques, being a loner in the mountains was no cakewalk. She was thin and her fur dull, but her claws were sharp and her reflexes sharper. That was another thing she had learned was meaningless. Being alone meant that no one was there to see how pretty your multicolored fur was, or how healthy and well you seemed without your ribcage showing. Her vanity was still there; there was just no one to show off to.
As tough as it had been in the beginning, though, it had never been this rough. The storm that had blown in so suddenly had the she-cat nearly trapped for days. There was no way to go out hunting in the blizzard, and very little shelter she could find. She managed to dig herself into the snow, but it was a cold little hole, no matter how tightly she curled up, and she felt as though she had dug her own grave.
When the wind let up, she would stick her head out of her shelter, and risk moving. She knew she couldn't stay where she was. Without her really noticing, her paws were slowly carrying her down the mountain and toward NightClan territory. It took a few days, digging herself into the snow to rest, coming out when the winds died, but eventually she stood on a rise overlooking the pine forests she used to call home.
The day was surprisingly calm, though the skies were still overcast. It was still early morning, but the sun would never break through the clouds. She hesitated, wondering if she was really ready to give up her pride and come crawling back to NightClan, begging for readmittance. She fought with herself a moment, and her pride almost won out. But then her stomach gurgled. She couldn't make this leaf-bare alone. She heaved a sigh, then took a deep, steadying breath, before slowly cutting a path through the snow toward what used to be home.
P O I S O N L E A F