Post by Katara on Jun 22, 2021 22:00:28 GMT -5
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if i was born as a blackthorn tree
i'd wanna be held by you, felled by you
fuel the
It was very difficult to understand grief. Clovermask had tried her best to avoid it, because nothing was more uncomfortable than being around a cat who was grieving. It was quite difficult to avoid, however, when the cat being grieved was the Clan leader, and you were her deputy.
When Clovermask and the others caught up to the rest of the Clan, she'd run through her head of what she was going to say to her Clanmates. It had been easy, but she hadn't realized at all how the Clan would react, and their reaction changed her plans. "Darkstar remained in the cave to make sure everyone escaped," she told everyone after explaining what had happened. "We won't know until the flooding stops what exactly became of her, but the most likely scenario is that she's dead."
She had not expected the reactions she'd received. She hadn't thought about it much until now, but Darkstar had kin with many cats in NightClan - and, of course, all of them respected her. Horror and shock were their immediate reactions, followed by questions.
Shouldn't we send some cat to go find her? She could still be alive!
What if the rain never stops and washes away her body?
Have we lost our camp forever?!
Clovermask tried to raise her tail for silence, but her Clanmates were too anxious to notice, and she didn't yet command the same attention Darkstar had. "NightClan!" Her voice rang out sharply, cutting through even the rain for a moment. Everyone fell quiet. "Here is what we're going to do: We will stay here until the rain stops. The rain will stop, just as it always does. We will come to no harm as long as we stay on high ground." She doubted she'd even need to bother setting a watch - no predator would be keen to wander out in this downpour.
"Our camp is destroyed, but it can be rebuilt," she went on. "And we will not send any cat to find Darkstar until the rain has eased. She knew what she was doing - she was prepared to sacrifice her life for us, and I will not allow that sacrifice to be made in vain. We will survive - we will come back from this." When she finished, everyone looked a bit calmer, though there was still a layer of heaviness to them that Clovermask was unsure she could do anything about. She couldn't touch grief, that's why she'd always avoided it.
She was able to distract them for some time by rattling off commands to keep them busy, but it could only last for so long. As soon as the rain began to lighten up when dawn crept over the horizon, her Clanmates began to become restless again. The rain still hadn't stopped completely - it was more like a steady drizzle - but it was infinitely better than it had been the past few days. Clovermask gathered a patrol, and led them in the direction of camp.
The pine forest closest to the cave was completely waterlogged - more swampy than forest at this point - and they practically had to splash through the terrain. But it was nothing compared to the cave. It was almost entirely flooded, she noted with surprise. There was enough room for she and her warriors to go in, but they would have to swim the entire time.
She was impressed when each of her warriors slipped into the still waters without a single complaint. It wasn't difficult to find Darkstar, but it was difficult to retrieve her. She had sunk to the bottom of the cave, in the very back where it was deepest. It took them quite awhile to get her body out of the cave, and when they did all of their bodies ached with exhaustion. Yet they all still carried her body back to the Clan - again without complaint.
When they returned, Clovermask could already see that grief had crept through them like an illness. Darkstar's body was set down in the center of them, and everyone settled around her to groom her sodden pelt. Clovermask watched their reactions closely, committing their body language and scratchy voices to memory. She thought she could mimic it, until she saw Darkstar's kits approach the body. She waited for a feeling of familiarity as one of them buried their face in her fur to suppress their sobs. After all, her own mother had died - shouldn't she recognize the feeling? But the more she watched them, the more she came to realize this was the one emotion she would never be able mimic. Her Clanmates were looking at each other with mournful, glistening eyes, and she felt certain their emotion came from a place that did not exist for her.
But that didn't matter. She would have to say something, whether she wanted to or not.
"Darkstar was a powerful leader," she began, "and there will never be another cat like her. She was chosen to lead this Clan, not by a Clan leader, but because NightClan needed her. It is clear now why StarClan gave her nine lives, despite never being appointed by a leader. Is there another cat in this entire valley who was powerful enough, fearless enough, and ferocious enough to hold back an entire flood in order to save her Clanmates?" She didn't need to say the answer - they all knew it. She hesitated, her eyes sweeping her Clanmates. She should say something more - she knew this would be the right place to talk about how sad she was that Darkstar was dead. But she wasn't sad, and she had nothing to offer Clanmates that were sad. Did NightClan really need a leader who could empathize with them more than they needed a leader with a calm head? No. "StarClan will be honored to have her among their ranks. Tonight, I will travel to the Moon Tree, and when I return we will make NightClan stronger for this loss. But, until then - we will sit vigil to honor our fallen leader."
The sun was just beginning to reach its peak as Clovermask settled down beside the body of Darkstar with the rest of her Clan. And there she would stay until dusk.
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if i was born as a blackthorn tree
i'd wanna be held by you, felled by you
fuel the
PYRE OF YOUR
enemies
enemies
clover
clovermask.
NIGHTCLAN DEPUTY // 60 MOONS
I
When Clovermask and the others caught up to the rest of the Clan, she'd run through her head of what she was going to say to her Clanmates. It had been easy, but she hadn't realized at all how the Clan would react, and their reaction changed her plans. "Darkstar remained in the cave to make sure everyone escaped," she told everyone after explaining what had happened. "We won't know until the flooding stops what exactly became of her, but the most likely scenario is that she's dead."
She had not expected the reactions she'd received. She hadn't thought about it much until now, but Darkstar had kin with many cats in NightClan - and, of course, all of them respected her. Horror and shock were their immediate reactions, followed by questions.
Shouldn't we send some cat to go find her? She could still be alive!
What if the rain never stops and washes away her body?
Have we lost our camp forever?!
Clovermask tried to raise her tail for silence, but her Clanmates were too anxious to notice, and she didn't yet command the same attention Darkstar had. "NightClan!" Her voice rang out sharply, cutting through even the rain for a moment. Everyone fell quiet. "Here is what we're going to do: We will stay here until the rain stops. The rain will stop, just as it always does. We will come to no harm as long as we stay on high ground." She doubted she'd even need to bother setting a watch - no predator would be keen to wander out in this downpour.
"Our camp is destroyed, but it can be rebuilt," she went on. "And we will not send any cat to find Darkstar until the rain has eased. She knew what she was doing - she was prepared to sacrifice her life for us, and I will not allow that sacrifice to be made in vain. We will survive - we will come back from this." When she finished, everyone looked a bit calmer, though there was still a layer of heaviness to them that Clovermask was unsure she could do anything about. She couldn't touch grief, that's why she'd always avoided it.
She was able to distract them for some time by rattling off commands to keep them busy, but it could only last for so long. As soon as the rain began to lighten up when dawn crept over the horizon, her Clanmates began to become restless again. The rain still hadn't stopped completely - it was more like a steady drizzle - but it was infinitely better than it had been the past few days. Clovermask gathered a patrol, and led them in the direction of camp.
The pine forest closest to the cave was completely waterlogged - more swampy than forest at this point - and they practically had to splash through the terrain. But it was nothing compared to the cave. It was almost entirely flooded, she noted with surprise. There was enough room for she and her warriors to go in, but they would have to swim the entire time.
She was impressed when each of her warriors slipped into the still waters without a single complaint. It wasn't difficult to find Darkstar, but it was difficult to retrieve her. She had sunk to the bottom of the cave, in the very back where it was deepest. It took them quite awhile to get her body out of the cave, and when they did all of their bodies ached with exhaustion. Yet they all still carried her body back to the Clan - again without complaint.
When they returned, Clovermask could already see that grief had crept through them like an illness. Darkstar's body was set down in the center of them, and everyone settled around her to groom her sodden pelt. Clovermask watched their reactions closely, committing their body language and scratchy voices to memory. She thought she could mimic it, until she saw Darkstar's kits approach the body. She waited for a feeling of familiarity as one of them buried their face in her fur to suppress their sobs. After all, her own mother had died - shouldn't she recognize the feeling? But the more she watched them, the more she came to realize this was the one emotion she would never be able mimic. Her Clanmates were looking at each other with mournful, glistening eyes, and she felt certain their emotion came from a place that did not exist for her.
But that didn't matter. She would have to say something, whether she wanted to or not.
"Darkstar was a powerful leader," she began, "and there will never be another cat like her. She was chosen to lead this Clan, not by a Clan leader, but because NightClan needed her. It is clear now why StarClan gave her nine lives, despite never being appointed by a leader. Is there another cat in this entire valley who was powerful enough, fearless enough, and ferocious enough to hold back an entire flood in order to save her Clanmates?" She didn't need to say the answer - they all knew it. She hesitated, her eyes sweeping her Clanmates. She should say something more - she knew this would be the right place to talk about how sad she was that Darkstar was dead. But she wasn't sad, and she had nothing to offer Clanmates that were sad. Did NightClan really need a leader who could empathize with them more than they needed a leader with a calm head? No. "StarClan will be honored to have her among their ranks. Tonight, I will travel to the Moon Tree, and when I return we will make NightClan stronger for this loss. But, until then - we will sit vigil to honor our fallen leader."
The sun was just beginning to reach its peak as Clovermask settled down beside the body of Darkstar with the rest of her Clan. And there she would stay until dusk.
[attr="class","cltag"]tagged Open to all NightClanners! | [attr="class","clnotes"]notes Darkstar, rest in power. |
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