[Fawn]

curiosity is not a sin...

...but we should exercise caution with our curiosity

Shadowchaser

The sky hinted at dawn's approach when the medicine cats emerged from the Moon Tree's cavern. Shadowchaser felt shaken to his core. Though the smiles and goodbyes he gave to the other medicine cats were sincere, it was clear the moment their focus was no longer on him that something was amiss. That aching dread of trying to fight the inevitable was sitting inside of him like a broken rib, a feeling he couldn't shake no matter how positive he tried to be - how sensible, how compassionate.

Smokefur had her own agenda, he saw, as she slipped away to speak with Falconstorm. Briefly, he felt his paws pull him in his mentor's direction - no doubt she'd ask about Gorsetail, and it was a question still burning bright in the forefront of Shadowchaser's mind - but that feeling quickly faded. Truthfully, he wasn't in the mood.

Truthfully, he couldn't handle more bad news.

Shadowchaser exhaled into the half-night half-morning air, addressing Cinderfur and Frostjaw who had gone to the Moon Tree as their escorts. "I'm sure she won't be long. Did the herbs hold up? Anyone feeling fatigued?" Shadowchaser had been careful to vary the doses of travel herbs, considering one of his two guards was much bigger than the other. Still, these sorts of things took practice, and Shadowchaser's gaze landed on Frostjaw in particular, a little more keen to hear his answer than Cinderfur's.

Despite his supernatural brush with Blackwolf a mere moments ago, Shadowchaser greedily focused on this menial task at paw - he needed the distraction. He didn't want to spend the entire walk back to his nest caught up in thoughts of a war he couldn't prevent, torturing himself with that unshakeable feeling that he would never be prepared enough for the cats who were going to need him in the future.

medicine cat of nightclan

Ginger Taxx (Cinderfur mention!) | jk rowling | background image | table by phoenix

Greenleaf Day 11, night of the Medicine Cat Meeting

[Ginger]

Frostjaw

nightclan warrior 26 moons

The energy was astounding. Frostjaw had been an escort of Nightclan's medicine cats along with Cinderfur, but the white warrior found himself incredibly interested by the healers of the other clans. Despite not being part of the chosen clan, each of these cats were still some of the special few chosen to represent Starclan's will. Even for Falconstorm, Treeclan's warrior-like medicine cat, Frostjaw felt a profound respect blooming. It was unheard of.

As the cats all slept at the base of the tree, Frostjaw admired their shapes. Cats of all different clans, united under a common love for Starclan and healing. It was beautiful because it was unattainable. Even Frostjaw knew his limits -- he could never be unified with the other clans while he lived on this earth. That was what made Starclan so incredible to look forward to: it was an eternity of unity under one great clan. What did one small lifetime of division matter?

Medicine cats began to stir, and icy eyes centered on Shadowchaser, who was looking much more distraught now than before he had woken up. Starclan must have shown him something truly startling. A pang of concern hit the frosty tom. To bear witness to the prophecies of Starclan was a great responsibility, and by no means an easy one. His gaze then turned to Smokefur, who had walked off with Falconstorm. Odd.

As Shadowchaser caught up to him, Frostjaw turned his entire body to the medicine cat. The large tom motioned to the herbs beside him. "They made it through the journey." Stepping a little closer to the tom, Frostjaw leaned in ever so slightly, lowering his voice. "My fatigue is not the problem. You, however, look as if you had aged a lifetime." He did not want to pressure the tom into sharing his dream, but he did want him to know that he was not alone: they had a common love for Starclan, and Frostjaw felt that he had points he could share with the medicine cat. "What is bothering you?" 

only in darkness can you see the stars

Fawn & 340 words

[Fawn]

curiosity is not a sin...

...but we should exercise caution with our curiosity

Shadowchaser

"Is it that obvious?" Shadowchaser attempted a tired smile, but it petered out before it could gain any ground. Frostjaw was of similar age to Shadowchaser and his littermates - and he had made his reverence of StarClan clear with nearly every word he spoke. It created a connection between them, a bridge between a cat who believed what another had already seen with his own eyes. There was a gaping rift underneath that bridge, and it held all the divine experiences Shadowchaser had been a part of. Frostjaw wouldn't fully understand that rift, but he could touch the surface.

Dip one paw into the void.

"StarClan can be frustrating. The living are given the impression that they are all-knowledgeable, that our ancestors hold the key to our futures." The chestnut brown tom shook his head, suddenly tired. "The truth is that all that separates the living from the dead is time. They aren't any wiser than when they were alive. Their flaws do not crumble to stardust, and their opinions aren't always beneficial."

Shadowchaser closed his mouth, watching Frostjaw carefully in case this conversation was piercing the sturdy tom's views of StarClan. He didn't want to mislead him, and that meant sharing the truth, but nor did Shadowchaser want to shake Frostjaw's faith. He did not know the tom well enough to confidently predict Frostjaw's reactions, and Shadowchaser held his tongue, withholding any further grievances with StarClan until he was certain he wasn't doing any unnecessary damage to a Clanmate.

"I do not mean to dampen your view of them or this moment," Shadowchaser dipped his head. "Forgive me."

medicine cat of nightclan

Ginger | jk rowling | background image | table by phoenix

[Ginger]

Frostjaw

nightclan warrior 26 moons

Frostjaw was not one to be reassuring. Shadowchaser's confirmation of his tiredness caused no change in the intensity of the white warrior's gaze. His icy eyes scanned over the tired medicine cat's entire body, looking at the effect of fatigue on each and every muscle. The large warrior was prepared to help Shadowchaser return to camp if need be, but he dared not ask. Nightclan was a clan known for strength, and it would be a grave insult to insinuate another's weakness.

Shadowchaser's next words troubled Frostjaw. Not due to the weary medicine cat's confession, but more due to the fact that he thought the opinions of Starclan were not always good. "Just because those opinions are not good does not mean they are not helpful." He let out a rare chuckle, deep and almost unsettlingly cold. "The wisdom we have to gain from Starclan comes not from their own wisdom, but from our interpretation of the many generations of thought all living together in one starry expanse." 

Wistfully looking towards the sky, Frostjaw eyed a few individual stars. How he wished he could see what Shadowchaser had seen. What Shadowchaser got to see every season. Warlike cats, peaceful cats, gentle cats, hard cats. So many to see, and so many to learn from. Of course, there were going to be more leader-like and prophetic figures in Starclan; wise cats whose earthly wisdom increased tenfold after joining their clanmates in the sky. Those were the cats that Frostjaw believed did most of the talking, the ones who spoke to those who listened in their subtle ways. 

"Starclan is incredible because it is one clan. There isn't a 'Sunclan,' 'Moonclan,' or 'Constellationclan' to be its rivals. Cats from all backgrounds join together as one and live out their eternities as a singular entity. No singular cat in Starclan is perfect, but as one great clan, it is the ultimate source of wisdom." 

only in darkness can you see the stars

Fawn & 321 words

[Fawn]

curiosity is not a sin...

...but we should exercise caution with our curiosity

Shadowchaser

Shadowchaser made sure the smile on his face was polite and inoffensive. Frostjaw's faith is remarkably strong, stronger than most in NightClan, maybe the whole forest. But... The chestnut tom shook his head slowly. "Unfortunately, rivalries and Clan pride carry over into Silverpelt. You're right, they are one Clan, but those old grievances are hard to shake." Particularly for the newly deceased. "I wish I'd witnessed the unity you speak of, Frostjaw. I respect StarClan with my whole heart, but I've learned that it's dangerous to treat anyone - alive or dead - as though they're better or wiser than others just because of circumstances."

Though Frostjaw made solid points, Shadowchaser struggled to find anything helpful about Blackwolf's warmongering and obstinacy. The only upside to this was that Blackwolf could no longer influence Darkstar directly. "The future seems like it's on a set path," Shadowchaser murmured, "but that won't stop me from trying to change it."

I have to do what I believe is best for the Clan. Blackwolf's death had set forth a chain of events that piled upon each other like snowfall. Shadowchaser's breath tightened again with that sensation of helplessness. He needed to breathe, first of all. Breathe and talk to Smokefur. With her ageless wisdom and past experiences with Ravenstar, maybe they could avoid this war.

medicine cat of nightclan

Ginger | jk rowling | background image | table by phoenix

[Ginger]

Frostjaw

nightclan warrior 26 moons

A slow blink was all Frostjaw that Frostjaw had to openly say to Shadowchaser as he spoke on Starclan's wisdom. He simply didn't agree. Starclan had so much to offer, so much wisdom to give, and so many prerogatives for the cats still roaming about in their fleshly forms. It was hard for any mortal cat to decipher what Starclan wanted, even a well-trained medicine cat. In the end, every cat's mortality was their greatest limitation. 

Shadowchaser's next comment put Frostjaw even deeper into his own headspace. Was the future etched into the trees, the sky, the earth? Or was it etched into the hearts of every cat, unable to be avoided simply because picturing that future gave it power. 

There was not much to be concerned about in the future besides a potential war with Treeclan. Frostjaw knew that as a medicine cat, that had to be one of Shadowchaser's greatest fears. Wars meant injuries, and injuries often meant death. Any cat whose solemn duty it was to prevent that death would dread the multitude of causes for it. 

But war was not such a bad thing. Wars were known for sending cats up to the heavens, purging the weak, forging new alliances, and unlocking hidden strengths. Those were only a few benefits that Frostjaw could think of off the top of his head, but they were good ones. But he was thinking as a warrior, not a medicine cat. What Shadowchaser needed right now was advice directed towards his own line of thinking.

"Peace and war come in cycles. You can't have one without the other. We enter peace because we do not want to feel the pain of the past war. We enter war because we have grown too restless with peace." His icy blue eyes bore into Shadowchaser's. "War is inevitable. But is all the suffering inevitable? That is for you to decide."

only in darkness can you see the stars

Fawn & 317 words

[Fawn]

curiosity is not a sin...

...but we should exercise caution with our curiosity

Shadowchaser

"War is inevitable. But is all the suffering inevitable? That is for you to decide."

Shadowchaser doubted Frostjaw's intentions had been to add another layer of responsibility to his already lengthy list, but Shadowchaser felt it nonetheless. Frostjaw's questions, the young healer realized, had likely been to satisfy his own curiosity rather than shave off the moons Shadowchaser had unwittingly gained inside the cavern.

He had no retort - either biting or confessional - to give, merely dipping his head in silent acceptance of the role he was set to play. He loved being a medicine cat. He loved the art of helping and healing his Clanmates. Guiding them through troubled times, acting as a messenger between the earth and the stars? Less enjoyable.

Sometimes he felt like a kit caught between two parents who were no longer on speaking terms, but still cared about each other. Shadowchaser felt stretched thin, his spirits crushed under the antagonizing, foxdunged words of NightClan's most notorious fighters. What do I say to Darkstar, when she asks me how this night went?

Stars, he didn't want to think about it. His head was so full, he was afraid it would split open like the soft green outer skin of a walnut. Politics could wait on the morning. In this moment, Shadowchaser needed three things: a drink of water, his nest, and some time with Echobreeze, his mother. She had a miraculous ability to calm even the worst internal storm he suffered.

When he got back, he would curl up beside her and fall into a dreamless sleep. It would feel good to pretend to be a kit again, before the weight of the world crushed him back into a tired, jaded adult.

medicine cat of nightclan

Ginger | jk rowling | background image | table by phoenix

OOC: Shadowchaser be like 'yep great good talk'. Thread end?