[Deleted]

Ashflight had been feeling… off, for some time now. She hadn't confided in Russethawk, not wanting to worry the goofy furball, and also not wanting him to get Dewfrost involved. The independent she-cats was far too stubborn to seek out a medicine cat when nothing was obviously wrong with her, when the only thing she could say was that she felt strange but couldn't quite explain how. And she also wasn't sure how she felt about their new medicine cat. Her paranoia and difficulties with trust had come a long way since rejoining the Clan, but after what had happened between Rushwhisker and Swanfeather, her opinion of Dewfrost was rather up in the air at the moment.

However, as she began to tire more easily and more quickly and noticed how suddenly she felt heavier, and her appetite had become rather voracious as it had never been in her life… she realized on her own just what was happening. Trepidation and excitement mixed within her at the idea that she would soon become a mother. For all her confidence in her abilities as a warrior, she was less certain about her skills as a mother. Old guilt about failing to save Icepaw was dredged up when she had thought she had finally managed to forgive herself. What if she couldn't protect her kits either?

Fortunately, she did not have to face that possibility alone. For all her doubt about herself, she did know one thing. Russethawk would make a wonderful father. Perhaps he would be able to make up for any shortcomings of her own when it came to parenting. Padding toward the ruddy tom as she re-entered camp from getting a quick drink, she sighed at the realization that she would need to move to the nursery very soon and stop her warrior duties. It was going to be torture to be holed up in camp day after day, but with her energy dwindling more and more every day, it wasn't like she would be able to do much anyway.

With an annoyed flick of her tail, she brushed against Russethawk's side, “I have something to tell you. Come for a walk with me.” A nervous knot roiled in her belly like an agitated snake all of a sudden. The prospect of telling another cat just made it seem more real, and though she knew she would love her kits, knew that she had hoped she and Russethawk might have a litter together, soon even, she was suddenly unsure just how ready she was for it all. Tiny helpless lives would be wholly dependent on her and it was starting to feel a bit overwhelming.

When the two of them had gone a suitable distance from camp for privacy, she turned to look at him, trying to hide all her doubt and worry and not entirely succeeding. So she tried for humor, “Have you guessed yet, or are you really just a clueless furball?” Surely he had noticed by now how easily winded she got, or how much more she had been eating? Or even her weight gain. Though she wasn't yet huge by any means, it was finally starting to become more apparent as something more than just newleaf bounty filling out leafbare leanness.

---

Fawn
NL 2:  A bright and sunny day warms the valley, a light breeze makes the day comfortable. 

[Fawn]

Hope when you take that jump

'Have you guessed yet, or are you really just a clueless furball?'

Ashflight looked a little different from the sleek, scarred mountain cat she was when he'd first met her. Russethawk was by no means oblivious, and he'd noticed the subtle changes in his mate's behavior and body as leafbare progressed into newleaf. The ruddy tom had blamed most of it on Rushwhisker's exile; the she-cat's immediate family had dwindled down to one, and then none, in far too quick a time.

But she has me. Russethawk wasn't selfish enough to think he was all she needed; that didn't stop him from trying to be there for her at every turn. The more Russethawk watched Ashflight, though, the more his concerns for her emotional state began to subside. She seemed... a little restless. A little plump, which was a word he never thought he'd apply to Ashflight.

Nahh, said a voice in his head as he brushed away the pieces logic tried to put together. She'd tell me if anything was... different. Like kits different. But Ashflight had been quiet, and as far as he knew, there was no word from Dewfrost about her retiring to the nursery. Still, in his heart of hearts, he hoped for the good news. Kits could never replace the family Ashflight had lost - but they had a healing power of their own. It would make her feel part of RainClan again, if she still had any doubts.

And Swanfeather, for better or worse, was dead.

There was no reason to cling to the past.

Russethawk purred his agreement, pausing only to stretch before keeping pace with Ashflight. It wasn't hard, she didn't move as quickly as she once had. I have something to tell you.

Again, his heart fluttered with unspoken hope. Great StarClan, I'm going to explode before she can even say anything. He had to be careful; if what she had to say wasn't kits, Russethawk couldn't bear to upset her or make her doubt his love for her. As much as having a family meant to him, his feelings for Ashflight weren't contingent upon kits.

He would be by her side, always.

"Yooou..." Russethawk's green eyes sparkled with mischief, the tom edging his way around a real answer. "Yooou've done something different with your fur? It looks nice." With that lopsided grin on his face to hide how fast his heart was beating, the ruddy warrior waited with baited breath.

You don't fear the fall

RainClan || 72 Moons || Tom

Russethawk

@zen || 309 Words || Notes

[Deleted]

"Yooou've done something different with your fur? It looks nice."

Ashflight blinked in surprise at her mate, then reached over to swipe at his shoulder playfully. “You big furball,” she laughed, trying to hide the slight stumble as the action of aiming a blow at him had put her a bit off balance, her growing weight throwing her off. And yet his easygoing, playful nature never failed to put her at ease, made her worries fade away, at least a little bit. There was still some anxiety sitting in her belly, but she knew Russethawk would be there and that he would help her through her doubts and worries. That they would have a wonderful family.

It was difficult for her to imagine having a family again. They had all been taken from her in one way or another. She had returned to RainClan with her father in Swanfeather’s camp and things had never mended between them even after he had rejoined them with most of the rest of the Purists. Her mother had lost her mind. She was not the same cat she had been when Ashflight had gone after Icepaw. And she had not lived too terribly long after her return to RainClan either. Her elder siblings had never returned. And now Rushwhisker was gone. She suddenly felt a rush of protectiveness for the kits she carried. Nothing would take them away from her. Not without killing her first.

She shook her head and flicked his flank with her tail, “Something different indeed.” Taking a deep breath, she turned toward him fully, her tail twitching behind her with the remnants of her anxiety. “I’m carrying your kits, Russethawk,” she blurted, just getting it over with. She looked into his eyes hopefully, “I haven’t been to see Dewfrost but… I know I am. I don’t need a medicine cat to tell me that.”

---

Fawn

[Fawn]

Hope when you take that jump

Russethawk's heart burst into a flurry of butterflies, their wings flapping in time with the frantic, joyous pound of his heart. Kits! Not just any kits, but their kits! The ruddy tom was all purrs as he nuzzled Ashflight, alternating between licking her ears and muzzle and rubbing his pelt against hers, as if he might wrap her up in that dense ruddy coat of his. "I should probably see Dewfrost," he grinned. "It's weird to be this happy, right? I feel like I've got clouds for paws! And all these moths stuck in my chest."

Blithely, Russethawk wondered if this was how his father, Snoweye, had felt when Brookrun had told him she was expecting. It warmed him to the core to picture their faces aglow with excitement and fear both; Russethawk had always liked kits, and he'd toyed with the idea of raising a family with a very special she-cat. The face he'd pictured in the nursery had changed, that's all.

"I can't wait to tell Bravebird," he sighed with delight. "He may be one of our kits' future mentors. Or Minnowsplash." Russethawk laughed. "Look at me, they're barely even here and I'm already thinking about stuff like that. Can't blame a Dad for being excited."

A Dad. I'm going to be a Dad.

StarClan, his world was changing so much. And this time it was for the better.

You don't fear the fall

RainClan || 72 Moons || Tom

Russethawk

@zen || 230 Words || Notes