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Over the last few days, the temperature had plummeted several degrees, bringing forth a biting chill far worse than any recent snowstorm. In fact, the earth had been clear of any signs of Leafbare, save for the claws of unbearable cold. In the heart of LightningClan territory, within the protection of the medicine cat den, a ginger and white figure lay curled up in her nest. Wrapped as tightly as she could be to prevent any heat from escaping, Kindleflare drifted in and out of sleep for much of the early morning. Her rest had been dreamless, quiet, yet incredibly unfulfilling, as though she'd merely been closing her eyes. Slowly, the fur along her spine pricked, rising on its own in a warning sign. Despite her curled position, with her nose tucked safely beneath her tail, the aggressive cold succeeded in claiming her, and a chill raked through her body. She trembled in her nest, breathing ragged for a moment as the tremor raced down her spine from nose to tail tip. Defiantly yet weakly, the LightningClan healer curled herself more tightly, as though she could stop the next one by sheer will alone. Silently pleading sleep to return to her, the dark ginger she-cat waited... The second one did not wait long to seize her, interrupting the careful swallow she'd planned. The disruption, paired with the already delicate soreness in her throat, brought forth a series of pitiful coughs. Shoulders shaking from the onslaught, Kindleflare was forced to unravel herself slightly to better let the air flow through her lungs. As the fit eased, the medicine cat let out a quiet and undoubtedly exhausted groan, sinking further into her nest. The rational side of her knew she should put together a small bundle of herbs to help her body fight whatever it was trying to settle in, and yet she could not find the strength to rise. That same rational part told her to wake Tigerpaw, ask him to gather the herbs for her. But if he wasn't awake yet, Kindleflare didn't quite have the heart to wake him. Cracking an eye open just as a third shiver traveled through her body, the ginger and white healer sought out the shape of her apprentice from where he would likely be in his nest. That is... Unless he'd gone to sleep next to his sister in the apprentice den last night, to escape some of the bitter cold.

@zen
Note: 64 moons old

[Deleted]

Can you hear my heartbeat? Tired of feeling never enough...

---

Tigerpaw was growing slightly envious of his sister's longer, thicker fur as the leaf-bare days grew colder and colder, but he was at least happy that it meant she would be kept a bit warmer if nothing else. And it was partly that, partly the fact that there were other apprentices, and partly the fact that he couldn't bear to leave Kindleflare all alone just for the sake of his own comfort that Tigerpaw didn't take his mentor up on her suggestion to move to the apprentices' den so he would be warmer. Kindleflare's fur wasn't anymore insulating than his own.

Initially he had considered going because it would be nice to curl up with Lynxpaw at night again; it had been moons since their nursery days and they hadn't shared a den since. But then who would help keep Kindleflare warm? If his sister had been all alone in the den, he might have been more torn. But she had other bodies giving off heat in there with her, coupled with her thicker fur. Kindleflare only had him.

Curled up in his nest in the medicine den, he was sound asleep until a fit of coughing woke him. Blearily raising his head, ears twitching, he looked around, trying to discern the source of the noise and blinking sleep from his eyes. The only other cat in the den was Kindleflare and she.... His gaze came to rest on his mentor as another shiver traveled through her and he rose from his nest, the cold of the day instantly invading now that he was no longer curled up in his relatively warm nest. His fur fluffed out on instinct.

He shivered himself as he moved closer to Kindleflare, noticing she was awake. He had just intended to join her in her nest so they could keep her each other warmer but as his mind continued to clear from sleep, looking at her, it was clear she wasn't just cold. And then it dawned on him that it had been her coughing that had woken him up. Ears flicking forward, he dipped his head, his voice soft, “Are you okay, Kindleflare? Can I get you anything?” He had been fortunate thus far in that he had not treated much sickness, and outside of the fox attacks it had only been mostly minor injuries, torn claws, thorns, scratches, along with managing Blazefang's chronic pain. Illness was new.

It couldn't be bad, could it? He hadn't noticed that she seemed ill yesterday.... His ears twitched with worry as his gaze slid further back into the den, where their herbs were stored, trying to figure out which herbs she might need. She could tell him, of course, and likely would, but from his lessons about the various herbs they kept and used, he tried to remember which ones were best for sickness. Feverfew of course. Any cat would know that. Maybe something for strength? Something for her cough too.... Would chickweed or tansy be better? He should get her some freshkill and some water as well, but herbs first.

---

I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true.

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It didn't take long before Tigerpaw appeared at her nest, worried eyes flicking over her as her body betrayed her with another shiver. Tired as she was, the ginger and white healer managed a warm smile, slowly rolling herself over so that she was a little more upright than previously. A rasping purr reverberated in her chest, though it did cause her to sputter slightly into a muffled cough as the sensation caught in her throat. After a moment of steadying herself and a soft clearing of her throat, she managed a small nod to Tigerpaw's question. "I-I'm alright, T-Tigerpaw. A-Apologies for w-waking you." She rasped, blinking tiredly as she shuffled herself into a more comfortable seat in her nest. "S-Something must have just c-caught up to m-me last night w-with how cold it's b-been." She told him gently. Warm amber eyes closed as she tucked her paws beneath her, muzzle pointed toward her chest as though she could hide in her fur if it were longer. A pivot of her ear and a thoughtful sound let the apprentice know she wasn't quite finished speaking, and eventually, one of her dark orangey eyes peeked open to find him once more. "I-If a Clanmate w-were to enter, sh-shivering from nose to t-tail and coughing every n-now a-" As if on cue, the she-cat was forced to silence her question to release a wheezing cough, followed quickly by a tremor through her body. "And ag-gain, wh-what other s-signs would you l-look for? W-What herbs w-would you rec-commend?" A gentle and encouraging smile twitched at her maw as she fixed him with both her eyes once more. "I c-can s-see your m-mind working... N-Now t-tell me your th-thoughts. I w-would like y-you to t-tell me w-what you think you c-can get me." Her tail uncurled from where it was against her flank, enough to tap him softly on the shoulder. "A-As always, n-no answer i-is silly o-okay? D-Don't f-fear getting it w-wrong. Trial a-and error i-is an important p-part of learning." As she waited for his assessment, the LightningClan healer began quietly formulating her own list for what she might present to a cat in her particular condition had she been in Tigerpaw's position.

@zen
Note: 64 moons old

[Deleted]

Can you hear my heartbeat? Tired of feeling never enough...

---

Tigerpaw shook his head in denial of Kindleflare's apology, concern still plain on his features as she confirmed she was under the weather. He shifted, unsure if he should just bring her something, as she closed her eyes briefly. Maybe she was worse off than she was letting on? He relaxed a moment later, however, as she instead started asking him a question. It was strange to think she was using herself to train him, strange to think about being the one to treat her. It wasn't like medicine cats were immune to getting sick, he supposed, but as a kit, even a new apprentice, it sort of seemed that way. But medicine cats were just as mortal as every other cat, and just as susceptible to the same ailments.

He wondered how often Kindleflare might have had to treat herself in the past. There was comfort in letting others take care of you when you didn't feel well, but he realized it must have been a while since Kindleflare had that luxury. So when she started coughing in the middle of her question, he only became more determined to treat her properly and take care of her while she fought off this illness. “Other signs? Uhm. Well.” He tilted his head slightly, looking her over with a more critical eye. “Check their paw pads for fever, and... nose? If their nose is running? And... uhm... m-maybe listen to their breathing?” Was he missing anything? Probably.

His ears flicked at the thought, but he knew Kindleflare was patient. As she said, trial and error was part of learning. The only thing that would happen if he got anything wrong or forgot something right now was that Kindleflare would just correct him or add in what he'd missed. There was nothing bad about that. The weight of the knowledge that one day others' lives would depend heavily on his judgment hung over him, dropping a little lower every day, it seemed, but for now... for now he still had Kindleflare, and she carried most of that weight. He was just helping a little. And she was a good teacher... one day, he was sure, he'd be able to carry it himself. But hopefully not for a long time.

“Uh. Herbs. Feverfew, for the chills. And I thought maybe... a strengthening herb, to help keep up your strength so you can fight off the sickness easier. Um. I was thinking burnet?” Burnet was easy to come by in their territory, so he was quite familiar with it. Not to mention they used it every half moon in the concoction of traveling herbs they made up for the trip to the Moon Tree. He shifted again, staring down at his paws, unsure, “For... for the cough... tansy or chickweed, but I'm... I'm not sure which would be better.” Or maybe there was a better option he was forgetting about? He tried not to get too worked up over it, reminding himself again that it was Kindleflare he was dealing with. But it was always hard for him to speak up when he wasn't absolutely sure about something.

---

I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true.

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Her dark amber eyes glittered with warmth and pride, despite her exhaustion, as Tigerpaw sat down to really think about her questions. As he suggested a few symptoms to search for, the ginger and white healer nodded her head softly. "M-Most of those c-can be d-done in t-tandem too." She rasped, shifting slightly to free one of her forepaws from underneath her body. "A-As you s-speak to them, pay at-ttention to th-their nose and b-breathing. E-Even if you c-c-" A small cough interrupted her, brought on by a ripple of a shiver down the length of her spine. "Even if you c-can't see any outward s-signs of a running n-nose, th-there are others t-to pay attention t-to. S-Some cats may s-still sniffle o-on occasion, attempting to k-keep their n-nose clean. O-Others m-may rely on opening their j-jaws and b-breathing through their m-mouths." She croaked, tilting her head slightly in an invitation for him to come forward and check her paw as he had suggested. "A-And although you sh-should always be l-listening to the t-tempo of their b-breathing, you c-can get a closer l-listen as you ch-chek their paws for s-signs of a fever. I-If ever you aren't sure, let them know you need to l-listen more c-closely, and p-press your e-ear to their ch-chest and s-stomach." She was aware that her own breathing was noticeably raspy, given the constant catch in her throat that forced her to stifle yet another fit of coughs. As Tigerpaw mentioned feverfew, she nodded her head, pleased with his choice. Burnet was also a correct answer, though she interjected gently. "F-Feverfew is c-correct, works on f-fever and ch-chills. B-Borage is another o-option, but b-best to leave th-that for qu-queens. L-Last i-is l-lavender; it a-also works w-wonders for f-fever. B-Burnet is an e-excellent choice, a-as we h-have more of it th-than other s-strengthening h-herbs in LightningC-Clan. A-Another option i-is ch-chamomile if a-available. R-Remember th-that ch-chamomile strengthens the h-heart, a-and soothes the mind. I-It can be a g-good f-filler alongs-side the b-burnet, particularly for dis-stressed p-patients." "A-Always s-start with t-tansy, unless th-the s-symptoms c-clearly i-indicate green-cough. You m-may add some ch-chickweed t-to the tansy, s-since tansy c-can only be e-eaten in s-small doses. S-Save a-any c-catmint for wh-when it is n-needed most." She smiled brightly at him despite her current state, before continuing. "Th-The only element you m-missed i-in my m-mind is any b-breathing issues. I-If it is available, p-peppermint c-can soothe the th-throat and prevent d-disruption from a scratching th-throat. It is n-not easy to c-come by, b-but is easier to keep and harvest th-than honey. I-If peppermint is n-not available, c-consentrate on h-helping the l-lungs. C-Coltsfoot can help with sh-shortness of breath, and can be s-supplemented with juniper, since j-juniper also takes care of troubles b-breathing." She hesitated a moment to cough again, before clearing her throat gingerly and continuing. "F-For now, m-my suggestion w-would be... F-Feverfew with a t-touch of lavender i-if available. B-burnet, h-hold the ch-chamomile since I a-am n-not in a-any e-emotional or m-mental d-distress. Tansy, with added p-peppermint i-if we have it in s-store. A-And an equal mix of j-juniper and c-coltsfoot, to h-help with wheezing. A-And do n-not forget to t-take some b-burnet for yourself. W-When you are w-working alongside s-sick cats, y-you should s-strengthen your own b-body, to try and p-prevent yourself f-from catching a-anything. N-Now, do you r-remember what each l-looks like? F-Fetch them, a-and tell me h-how each is b-best administered." She rasped, following him with her gaze as he set off to complete his assigned task.

@zen
Note: 64 moons old

[Deleted]

Tigerpaw listened with ears angled forward as Kindleflare began her assessment of his suggestions. His ears twitched each time she coughed, his paws itching to move, to help. He was in mild awe at all the information she was able to relay even when she wasn't feeling well. Tigerpaw remembered being sick with kittencough vaguely, his mind a fuzzy mess at the time. He nodded in understanding as she expanded upon the ways he could check for various symptoms, repeating her words in his mind, all the better to remember for next time. Watch for sniffling and breathing through the mouth, he nodded shortly to himself.

He was pleased when she mentioned borage but suggested leaving it for queens, for he had had the same thought, though lavender hadn't occurred to him. He nodded again at her reminder about chamomile, but she didn't seem particularly distressed so he didn't think it was completely necessary, given that it was leafbare and they needed to conserve herbs where they could. He was also glad that he remembered tansy could only be given in small doses, hence his uncertainty over which herb to use, though he was a little annoyed at himself for not thinking to combine them.

Of course he'd forgotten something. But the way Kindleflare seemed pleased with him anyway helped to mitigate the feelings of inadequacy that always threatened. When she finally got to prescribing herbs for herself, he listened closely, again mentally repeating after his mentor, and was slightly surprised to find himself pleased at his own initial assessment. He had done better than he'd thought he would, even if he had forgotten about the breathing issues.

When she asked if he remembered what they all looked like, he paused for a moment, then nodded, “I… I think so.” The only thing he was slightly unsure about was the coltsfoot. The rest he remembered from using before, or because they were more distinctive in how they looked or smelled. It was hard to forget peppermint. Recalling the best way to administer them was another matter. His ears twitched uncertainly as he stood and turned to fetch the herbs she had listed.

If he just took it one at a time it wouldn’t be that hard, maybe, probably? He took a deep breath and headed for the feverfew first. His short tail flicked as he considered just how much he should use. They had stocked up decently before leafbare, seeing as the season often brought sickness, but they were in the heart of the season now. How many more cats might fall ill? He shook his head and picked out a normal sized dosage. If Kindleflare wasn't healthy then the rest of the Clan would really be in trouble if illness struck. “Feverfew leaves are eaten,” he spoke as he let his nose lead him to their store of lavender, pausing as he considered it, “Lavender can be eaten, or the scent can be used… right?”

He looked back at her for confirmation, “Which… which way should it be used right now? Would the leaves or the flower be better?” So he wasn’t wasting time while she answered, he pulled out some burnet and separated a few leaves out for both himself and Kindleflare. That was a familiar dosage. He ate his quickly, his whiskers twitching at the remnant of the taste on his tongue, and added Kindleflare's to the feverfew since they were both herbs to be eaten. As he thought about the rest of the herbs she’d listed, he was pretty sure they were all eaten, except maybe the lavender?

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A smile twitched her features again, listening to the young tom's assessment of the dose type for each herb. Nodding along with each of his decisions, she encouraged him silently to continue. A whisker twitched as he hesitated on the lavender, for she knew that one would likely cause a bit of a stumble. "The f-flowers are m-most fragrant, a-and best used when it's s-scent is needed. For i-it's healing cap-pabilties, the l-leaves are a b-better bet." She told him gently, flicking her tail to beckon him back over to her now that he'd collected all the relevant herbs. Dark amber eyes glanced over the bundles as he deposited them in front of her, checking to ensure Tigerpaw had delivered all the correct herbs. With a warm purr of satisfaction (and a stifled cough), she pawed at the herbs to bring them a little closer to her. "W-Well done, Tigerp-paw. You d-did well with the herb selection. Y-You g-got every single o-one!" After ducking her head and lapping up the herbs in groups of two for ease of consumption, she focused on her apprentice once more with a thoughtful sound. Shifting her weight slowly to adjust the way she was laying in her nest, the she-cat rasped another question. "H-Herbs aside, what sh-should you a-also make sure any p-patient with an i-illness is d-doing? H-Herbs are g-good, b-but you know th-that they c-can't do e-everything by th-themselves. S-Strength c-comes from other p-places t-too; w-what is i-important for a-any cat l-looking f-for strength?" The answer truly was simple, but it could be a bit of a trick question. When being asked about ways to heal a sick cat, not everyone immediately defaulted to consider basic food and water. But... It was as important as any herb to ensure a cat had the energy to overcome what the world tossed their way.

@zen
Note: 64 moons old

[Deleted]

Flowers were best for scent. That… made a lot of sense. Tigerpaw’s ears twitched, mildly annoyed with himself for not figuring that out on his own. Well, at least he knew now, and wasn’t likely to forget in the future. He assembled the rest of the herbs and when he brought them all over for Kindleflare to check, his annoyance faded quickly enough under his mentor’s praise. Maybe he was better at this than he gave himself credit for. He ducked his head, a bit embarrassed, as Kindleflare lapped up the herbs he’d brought for her.

Her next question had him blinking at her in surprise as he wracked his brain for the answer. Something other than herbs? He felt like the answer was simple, but it took him a long moment to answer. “Oh! I think… I mean, I was going to go get you something to eat right after I got you the herbs you needed, and then some water-” He cut himself as he glanced outside the den curiously for a moment, “Should I bring you some snow? Would it help your throat at all?”

He frowned then, “Or… I guess you’re already cold….” Maybe if coughing and a sore throat were her only complaints, but surely it would only worsen her condition right now? He ducked his head again, “S-sorry. That was a bad idea…. Um. Food, and water. I’ll get you some. Be right back, don’t move, okay? I’ll take care of you until you’re better.” He gave her a quick, affectionate lick between the ears without thinking about it and hurried away to see what he could find on the freshkill pile.

Stepping out of the den made him realize just how cold it really was today and his shivered, his short pelt fluffing out in some attempt to keep out the cold. He would be surprised if any water sources weren’t frozen over today. He’d never seen it before himself, but he had heard stories about how that happened in the depths of leafbare. He couldn’t recall it ever being this cold before. If water didn’t freeze when it was this cold, he would hate to see when it did. Maybe snow would be the answer.

After he’d brought back a sparrow for Kindleflare, he pulled a beech leaf out and set it in front of her, “I think… it might be hard to get water today, with how cold it is…. I thought, maybe, if I put some snow here… you could lap at it? I’ll help keep you warm, so, maybe it’ll be okay?”

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