[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

“Finchcloud’s air-headed,” Adderpaw continued the conversation, picking halfheartedly at a mouse held between her paws. She was lying side-by-side with her father in a sheltered corner of the camp, the coming evening giving them the chance to spend time together with nothing to interrupt it. “I heard him with Yewpaw earlier. Going on about the reasons why TreeClan is better than the other Clans. As if it matters.” Shoving the mouse back at Magpiewing, in case he wanted some, she lifted a paw and licked it, passing it over her ears in a lazy grooming.

“What if he were to get killed by something? Wouldn’t Silentsong and Zephyrfang be so sad?” Casually she asked the question, as unconcerned with the thought of the warrior’s death as that of the mouse she had just been eating. Death was part of life, wasn’t it? You could miss the one who died, but it changed nothing about their fate, it didn’t bring them back. And, eventually, memories about the death faded: their scent, the sound of their voice, their mannerisms.

“Yewpaw looked bored.” As she usually did. Not much changed the ever-constant blank expression on her sister’s face. “Who would you have picked to mentor us- if the choice was yours?”

Tags @zen

[Deleted]

I'm feeling careless with your fragile little heart...

---

Of his first litter with Mockingbird, Owlstrike took most after them both. He played the game perfectly. Well, perhaps he took just a bit more after his mother. After all he seemed to genuinely care about his siblings. Berrythorn was an anomaly, stupidly fearless and lacking sense, but otherwise rather utterly similar to the general populace and the most unlike his family. Ravenstorm... Ravenstorm was a riddle at the heart of a labyrinth and remained Magpiewing's personal favorite among his offspring. That wasn't to say he loved her more, for he did not truly love any of his kits. He cared more or less for each of them based only on how amusing he found them, on how much entertainment they could give him. They were only experiments to him, toys he had to be careful not to break lest he incur his mate's wrath, and if it wasn't for Mockingbird's protection, they would not be safe from his more ruthless games. While he would lament the loss of an enigma like Ravenstorm, should his eldest daughter find an early grave - there were few cats whose minds were so foreign to him and gave him so much challenge - she was ultimately replaceable in his life, and their blood ties meant nothing to him.

But he and Mockingbird now had a second litter, recently apprenticed, and he had his favorite from among the newest three as well. The newly named Adderpaw was so much like him, he had taken to watching her more closely than her siblings. And sometimes he had found, she watched back. And so he had taken to approaching her, and asking her just what she had seen and what she had heard. And from there their relationship blossomed into something new. Strange as his genuine affection for his mate was, as it had crept up on him completely by accident, so too was some strange fondness for this kit that mirrored his own behaviors at her age almost perfectly. He would not call it love, no, for the only other cat he knew he could claim love for was Mockingbird. And it was not love as other cats knew love, but something new, something unique to them, something darker and strangely delicate, like the tenuous alliance between once enemies, something that made them both stronger, but if it broke had the potential to kill one or both of them. He had no delusions that Mockingbird could and would kill him if he gave her good enough reason, but he was also confident in his own ability to take her down with him, if he needed to, or wanted to. Not with claws and fangs, but with words. She was his biggest threat, and she was everything he could ever want in a mate and partner.

Relaxed in the shade with Adderpaw, he watched the younger she-cat as she picked at her mouse, continuing their conversation. It had become a normal occurrence for the two of them to share a meal and trade observations, even things that otherwise seemed mundane. It was refreshing to have someone who shared his passion for the inner workings of the mind, and interesting as well to watch Adderpaw develop her own conclusions about those workings. And they could play these games with each other just as much as they could their Clanmates. He flicked his plumed tail in acknowledgment of her statement about Finchcloud. Most cats had little enough going on in their heads, it seemed to Magpiewing. It was only where emotions got involved that things got a bit more interesting, revealing complexities that their simpleminded Clanmates otherwise did not display.

“I imagine they would be,” he agreed, just as casually as she had asked about Finchcloud's imaginary death, “But grief affects cats differently. Zephyrfang, I suppose, would rage, as though his fury alone might be enough to steal back his son's spirit. Futile, but possibly amusing.” Their conversations were always quiet, and Magpiewing kept a pleasant expression on his face the entire time, looking for the world like nothing more than a father enjoying the company of his daughter. Cats outside their family did not tend to intrude unless he was needed for a patrol, but he knew well enough to plan these discussions around normal patrol times so they were not. He glanced down at the remains of the mouse she had offered him and leaned down to take a bite, more for appearances than the fact that he was hungry. His gaze drifted over the cats moving about the camp and he chewed thoughtfully as Adderpaw asked about his own choice for mentors.

“Amberwing seems a decent fit for one of you, though I am not certain it is your brother,” he admitted, “Your mother trained her. She speaks well of her. She does not speak well of many. Yewpaw, perhaps.” His ear twitched in the direction of Hemlockpaw's mentor, Mockingbird's former apprentice, “For Hemlockpaw....” A soft, amused smile crossed his muzzle, “That depends, I suppose. If I were thinking like your mother, I would choose Owlstrike. He could perhaps help to reign in his more... eccentric tendencies. He could help mold him, shape him into what the Clan wants, need to see in their Clanmates, help him hide in plain sight, as your mother and I and Owlstrike all do. But it can grow terribly boring, hiding all the time. I would rather see him flourish for who he is, but that would put him at risk. And truly, there is no cat in TreeClan who would accept him as he is, beyond those he shares blood with. So perhaps Owlstrike would be the best choice, in the end. Though I'm sure Amberwing can impart such knowledge as well, I still believe she would be better suited to Yewpaw. Certainly far better than Finchcloud.”

He blinked down at her then, whiskers twitching in amusement as he considered his choice for her mentor, “Ravenstorm, for you. You ought to try to spend time with your elder sister, though that is easier said than done. She is quite intriguing.” And dangerous. Just like her mother. His tail flicked again, “Or perhaps myself, but I do believe differences between mentor and apprentice are good. That way they can each learn from the other and perhaps balance out the other's weaknesses. Ravenstorm is an observer as well, but not quite like you and I. She is... she has remained undefinable to me. But she is lonely. That much I know.” He gave the slightest nod of affirmation at that statement, recalling their lengthy conversation upon his return from RainClan. He was curious how Adderpaw might approach her volatile older sister, “She is so often unpredictable... even to me. You cannot play with her, Adderpaw. She is good at reading truth from lies, especially when it comes to her family. She does not trust us. But she does seem to appreciate the truth.” He gave her that one hint, because truth was the only way he thought Ravenstorm might speak to Adderpaw for any length of time. She could see through the mind games they so loved to play.

---

I'll only let you down, I'm fucking sick, believe me.

Taxx
Fawn (Mockingbird mention) Silver (Ravenstorm mention)

[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

Magpiewing had spent moons watching his Clanmates; Adderpaw trusted that he would have a fair idea of how Zephyrfang would react if one of his sons, or his mate, were to be killed. He might even be more upset at Silentsong’s death; after all, while Finchcloud and Thornheart were his beloved sons, it was the she-cat who had claimed his heart. Her death would likely be more traumatic to the tom than those of his kits. Too bad she had no way of seeing if her guesses proved right- not unless some unforeseen disaster struck.

Adderpaw flicked an ear as Magpiewing answered her question, and perhaps it wasn’t odd that he named cats that were already close, or part of, their family. Her head tipped to the side, considering his choice of mentor in her older sister. She hardly knew Ravenstorm; the she-cat had not once visited the nursery in the six moons since their birth. Berrythorn had, but he was as annoyingly easy to lead in circles as most cats in TreeClan. Not much fun, except to see how she could confuse him at any given time. Not much use, either, in her opinion, though TreeClan seemed to view him as a capable and worthy warrior.

“I suppose I could try. You know her better than I. The truth?” Intrigued, Adderpaw stored that hint away for possible later use. “Perhaps she’ll be more willing to interact with us now that we’re apprentices. I’m sure there’s plenty I could learn from her.” Openly acknowledging Ravenstorm’s superior skill- there was no reason not to- but curious as to whether the older she-cat would find any reason to be more welcoming to her younger sibling. “She might be interesting to get to know, if even you haven’t been able to figure her out yet.”

A tease, yet spoken in the same tone as the rest, no purr of amusement accompanying the words. A fact. Adderpaw would not be able to play with her as she did Berrythorn, but there was certainly reason to try to form a relationship. “I will try.” It was all she could promise; whether or not she succeeded was up to Ravenstorm herself.

“What would you do if one of us was hurt or killed?” Bland curiosity was behind the question, but no hint of judgement. She knew quite well that Magpiewing would not rage, as Zephyrfang might, but would he feel any sense of loss if she, or Mockingbird or Ravenstorm, were to suddenly cease to be part of his life?

Tags @zen

[Deleted]

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time...

---

He allowed a low rumbling purr of amusement at her tease, “Who knows. Perhaps you will have better luck.” Anything could happen where Ravenstorm was involved. That's what made her so very interesting. As Adderpaw told him she would try, he couldn't help feeling a sense of anticipation over seeing just how his eldest daughter would handle her younger sister showing an interest in her. If Adderpaw gave her truth she might be able to get somewhere, if she was persistent. But besides telling her not to try to play games with her sister, he couldn't tell her anything more, nor did he want to. It wouldn't be any fun at all if he just told her how to go about everything rather than letting her figure things out on her own. Besides, he didn't have too many suggestions as it was, and it would be best if she went into it without his help, or Ravenstorm would suspect him to be playing some game. He was, but if he offered as little interference as possible, all that could really be surmised was that he had suggested his daughters get to know each other. Ravenstorm might reject the possibility on principle of his involvement at all, but he would just have to wait and see.

His ears twitched at Adderpaw's new question and he looked over at he thoughtfully. His answer was entirely dependent on which of his particular family members was the potential subject of the question. But rather than tell her that, his bright yellow gaze narrowed slightly as he leaned toward her curiously, “What do you think I would do?” His tone was not defensive or guarded, his expression that of open curiosity. It would be too simple to give her any sort of answer. He wanted to know what she knew of him, really knew, or if her answer might yet reveal a kit-like naivety about his relationships with his mate and kits. He didn't know what she thought on the matter, if she thought he loved them like other cats loved their families. And he was not prepared to relinquish the influence of love if she did believe such a thing. And he wanted her to think, wanted to encourage the forming of her own conclusions based on her experiences, for as with everything, practice made perfect. She needed her own conclusions to compare to realities, to see just how well they matched, so she could adjust her own actions accordingly, a sort of fine tuning of the mind.

Magpiewing showed his kits just as much affection as any normal parent. He put on a fine performance. Berrythorn and Hemlockpaw, he was certain, quite believed his affection was genuine. After Adderpaw had given her answer, he would have to tell her about how they had lost Berrythorn for a time. A familiar black furred tom emerged from the warrior's den, stretching and yawning and padding wearily toward the freshkill pile as Magpiewing watched him. The two of them looked so alike, it was a wonder Nightsky had not guessed that he was his father. A she-cat met him and the two spoke, though he couldn't hear what they said, before heading out of camp together. Magpiewing's ears twitched with some interest. Was his firstborn finding himself a mate? Nightsky was not a terribly social cat. It was strange to see him going off with Duskrose. It amused him to no end that Ravenstorm had befriended him. As far as he knew, Mockingbird had not told their daughter that her new friend was her half-brother.

The thought stuck with him for a moment and he glanced back at Adderpaw. Perhaps he could give her something else to offer Ravenstorm. If he told her about Nightsky, and she passed it on to Ravenstorm, how might the she-cat react? She seemed to disdain her family. Would it ruin her friendship with Nightsky? Would she tell Nightsky? His tail flicked with anticipation. Well, he would tell Adderpaw, but it was up to her whether she wanted to mention it to Ravenstorm or not. He certainly wouldn't tell her to do so.

---

With a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit 'em right between the eyes.

Taxx
Silver (so much Ravenstorm lol) Hellion (Duskrose cameo going hunting with Nightsky~)

[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

What did she think he would do?

Certainly a question that required thought, and Adderpaw was silent for some time as she considered it from every angle she could think of. “I think…” she began, eyes narrowed and her gaze unfocused, fixed on a point across camp even as she saw nothing. “I think it would depend. I know you care for Mockingbird.” Not the overly affectionate and demonstrative love she saw from some mates, but something subtler and possibly more meaningful. “But… I don’t know. I think you would miss her if she were to die, even if you’re not the sort to curse the world for letting it happen.”

Claws extended to pluck at the grass at her paws, her nose still wrinkled in deep thought. “I would hope you’d miss us too.” Her gaze cleared and she turned to meet her father’s eyes, searching for any hint otherwise, even as she carried on, “But I’m not sure. You’re very hard to read, and I know the front you show to the rest of the Clan.”

He’d never been anything less than a perfect father, loving and present when he was needed, but was that an act too? Were his kits fair game to him, just as his Clan mates were? Did she care?

Not really. After all, what was love but a burden? Adderpaw herself held the barest amount of affection, and all of that was for her family: Hemlockpaw moreso than Yewpaw, and Magpiewing moreso than Mockingbird. To her older siblings, she was quite indifferent. She held nothing but disdain for Berrythorn, and she hardly knew Ravenstorm and Owlstrike well enough to make a decision one way or the other. She could hardly claim to love any of them- she merely tolerated some better than others.

“Do you love us?” Adderpaw asked, still gazing up at Magpiewing and waiting for his reply, one way or the other- and curious as to whether he would agree, or deny it and show a truer part of himself to her. “I don’t love you,” she continued, “but I like your company very much. And I think I would miss you if you were gone.”

Tags @zen

[Deleted]

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time...

---

Adderpaw took her time answering his return question, allowing Magpiewing's attention and thoughts to wander for a time while he waited, but when she did finally speak up, he returned his bright yellow gaze to his daughter, attentive once more, interested to hear the conclusion she had come to. He listened without reaction, careful not to give away any sort of agreement or disagreement with her words until she was done. He didn't want his reactions to influence her, to change her conclusions before she'd spoken them.

She spoke first of her mother, and the conclusion she had come to was that he did indeed care for her. He would indeed miss her, were she to die, quite confident he would never find a more perfect partner. That wasn't to say that he thought Mockingbird was perfect like some lovestruck apprentice, nor that their relationship was not flawed, simply that together they made the most perfect partnership that he could ever hope for in this life, and he would be disappointed to lose it.

He waited, and Adderpaw continued, unsure if was quite as attached to his kits as he was to his mate. That was promising. He put on a good act for his kits, but Adderpaw did not just blindly believe the lie she was shown, not even at such a young age. She did have some basic emotion attached to him, however... if she hoped he would miss her and her siblings, even as she was unsure if he would or not. He waited a few beats to see if she would leave it there, and she asked him point blank if he loved his kits. She was looking up at him, not with a pleading hopefulness as one would expect from a kit asking such a question of her father, just a vague curiosity. And before he could answer she announced that she did not love him, though she had some sort of affection for him.

They were so similar. He wondered briefly how he might have enjoyed having a parent he could be himself with, that understood him and challenged him. Until Mockingbird, his existence had been a lonely act, with no cat ever knowing him for who he really was. And while it was fun, most of the time, it did get to be exhausting; the mask grew heavy when you could never take it off. Mockingbird had been a safe haven and an oasis of sharp intellect in a desert of fools. For the first time since he had constructed it, he had been able to remove his mask.

Looking down at Adderkit, he decided to remove it now as well, “No.” He answered her question simply, sweeping his plumed tail to curl around his daughter in an affectionate gesture even as his words rather contradicted the action, “I don't love you either.” His whiskers twitched with some amusement as he echoed her words, “But I also enjoy your company and I do believe I would miss you, at least... if not certain of your siblings. There are not many cats I genuinely enjoy spending time with.”

He gazed after where Nightsky had disappeared for a moment, “We thought we'd lost Berrythorn once.” His ears twitched as he turned his gaze back to Adderpaw, “Apparently some fellow apprentices dared him to seek out Demon and your fool brother took them up on it. We thought him dead only for him to return moons later, helped by Zehpyrfang's loner sister, who had apparently saved him from being eaten and nursed him back to health until he was strong enough to travel. Not a day too soon, I imagine... your mother was quite intent on those two apprentices meeting similar terrible ends.” But Magpiewing's tone was amused rather than angry.

“I did not miss him,” he admitted dismissively, “I was disappointed, more than anything, that I had produced such a fool of a son.” Berrythorn really was an anomaly in their family, one he rather thought better culled, not that he'd ever tell Mockingbird. His mate's maternal instincts were quite strong, luckily for their kits. But he spent no more time on the disappointment in the family, announcing instead, “You have another brother. Mockingbird is not his mother.” He considered just how much to tell her, initially, “Nightsky. His mother and I were mates before I met Mockingbird.” He had 'met' Mockingbird of course, they were Clanmates, but he had not yet met the real Mockingbird, nor she him. “She died days after his birth and I have never claimed him. He has no idea I'm his father. He seems to get along with Ravenstorm, which is quite a feat.” She could use that information however she wished.

---

With a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit 'em right between the eyes.

Taxx

[Taxx]

Adderpaw

"I see things no one else sees."

No. A single word, but one that rang with truth. Adderpaw bent her head in acceptance, the vague wonder of how another cat- Finchcloud or his brother, perhaps- would react if their father told them straight that he had no love for them. Adderpaw, for her part, felt no prick of sadness. Perversely, she was pleased: she hadn’t been sure, and Magpiewing had decided to give her honesty.

Whether it was trust, or even another part of the game he always seemed to be playing, didn’t matter to her. In this, for her, he had dropped the act of love. Still her father, and for a moment she wondered if him admitting his preference for spending time with her was just as false as the love he’d claimed for her. She wouldn’t know unless she asked… and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to care one way or the other. It just wasn’t important.

An ear flicked up as Magpiewing explained Berrythorn’s past recklessness. To actually try to seek out the cat in his den? “Did he ever explain why he decided to do so? Or was he simply interested in proving his… bravery… in taking up the challenge?” Zephyrfang’s sister? How coincidentally lucky for the tom- her brother. The world might have been better off with one less fool, but the past couldn’t be changed, and with a shrug of her shoulders to indicate her indifference to Berrythorn’s idiocy, Adderpaw instead tipped her head at the new topic, a rare hint of surprise at the admission crossing her face as she blinked at Magpiewing.

Her gaze flashed to the camp entrance, where the tom and her sister, Ravenstorm, had just disappeared. Nightsky didn’t know? “Does Mockingbird know?” she asked, curious on if her father had admitted this fact to his mate, or if even she was ignorant of this. Someone had to know- unless this she-cat had kept the truth of her kit's father a secret until her death.

Tags @zen