Moon Tree was before him, a place only leaders and medicine cats tread. He took a deep breath then forced his paws to take him inside. He was so anxious that he didn't bother looking around, just laid right down and shut his eyes. For a long time nothing happened, his mind kept rolling over his worries and the deep fear he had of this terrible responsibility. But then there was this all encompassing peace that washed over him, this sense of calm. Like he was a kit again, wrapped up warm and safe with his mother and siblings, or with his mother's most trusted friend. Blue eyes finally opened, and the young tom found himself not within Moon Tree, but somewhere altogether different.
There were cats stood away from where he'd been lain, eight of them in total. It confused him. There should be nine. So where was the ninth?
“Hello Silverfrost.” The feminine voice startled him and his gaze moved away from the line of cats waiting for him to the one that had been lying at his side this entire time. She was slight built and reminded him strongly of Echoshade, though that wasn't a surprise. Luxuriously long white and brown fur and blue eyes that her daughter shared. “Miststream.” Echoshade's mother. He remembered her.
She stood and dipped her head, letting him take his paws before she touched her nose to the top of his head and started to speak once more. “With this life I give you calm, the ability to keep your head even when those around you lose theirs. Use it well for the tries that lie ahead of you. Silverfrost, I know you don't feel like you are ready for this gift, but believe that StarClan knows what is best and stay on the path you have been given. Stay calm and steady, and be the solid foundation RainClan needs to build itself back into greatness.” He was overcome with all the things he'd been thinking about prior to this visit, to the worries and fears that had plagued his mind since becoming Deputy. Anxiety ate at him and his breathing turned into a terrified pant as his body shook. The words of those that doubted his ability as much as he did roared through his ears and no amount of trying to ignore them did anything to help. But then, on the pawsteps of those troubling thoughts came a sense of belief, of calming. He remembered any time he felt overwhelmed as a kit or even when he had been given his first apprentice he'd go and talk it out with Miststream. She'd sit with him and counter every horrible thing he could say or think of himself until he felt as though he had worked through it in a way that made him feel better. He had started being able to see himself as the Deputy, to work out the schedules needed to keep RainClan safe and fed, and even remembered that he felt ready to be deputy at last. He was learning restraint, learning to take responsibility of the lives around him. Cats depended on his judgment, and he'd need to stay calm in order to help them sort out problems that they couldn't deal with on their own. Like the other clans.
When he shook himself from the first life a second cat approached him, a solid white tom with piercing blue eyes. He only vaguely remembered this tom, and only because of who he'd been in life. Frostfang, Swanfeather's beloved. Or so rumors had spread. “With this life I give you the gift of unconditional love, the ability to follow your heart against all odds and share that heart with those that matter most. Don't close yourself off from the world because you've risen to power. Remain as you are and love as you will. There are many different types of love than just the love of she-cats that you so willingly care for and move past. Love of family and friends, and the truest love of the heart. Learn from these kinds of love and never let your heart lose its capacity. Use it well to care for your clan and yourself, and remember that without a clan to lead you are just another cat. Care for them and lead them well.” Every cat that held a place in his heart flashed through Silverfrost's mind, every she-cat he'd shared himself with so willingly, every kit he'd helped carry back to the nest as they tried to wander away, the two beautiful kits given to him by his dearest friend. Love was something he accepted and held close. His family mattered. His friends mattered. His clan mattered. Even as he knew this he also realized that sometimes that love had to be tough. The gentleness of love couldn't help bring home a lesson that had to be learned. Loving someone didn't mean you were never firm with them, it was in knowing you loved them enough to help them grow as an individual. Frostfang remained standing before him even as the whispers of those still yet to offer a life started behind him. “If you would, tell Swanfeather that I forgive her?” Silverfrost wasn't sure what he'd have said to that, because the tom disappeared back into the mist around him.
It was a she-cat unknown to him that came next. She carried herself as a warrior and looked him straight on, as though she were taking his measure. She was a slender thing, a tortoiseshell and white she-cat with yellow eyes. She was beautiful, but then he believed all she-cats were thus so it might not have meant anything coming from him. He did not say so aloud, it felt wrong to flirt in the presence of StarClan. “So yours is the clan they took my kits to?” He was surprised at her comment and wracked his brain for something to say. This she-cat was the mother of the two kits Echoshade had taken in and cared for until they were weaned, the ones that broke her heart as they were taken away. Meadowleaf. Her name was Meadowleaf, whispered through the air by those cats yet in the mist. “Tell your queen friend thank you for taking care of them. If someone else had to raise them for me I'd rather it be a queen that loved them than one that simply nursed them.” She took a breath started to speak once more. “With this life I give you strength, use it well to protect your clan from anyone that stands against you. I give you strength to persevere through the rough times that lie ahead for you, the strength to stand by your choices and believe in your Deputy whomever that may be. It took strength to allow those kits into RainClan, and greater strength to give them back despite how much you didn't want to. Use that strength wisely to protect your clan and yourself. Young as you are it won't be easy being leader, but have faith. You aren't alone, and there will always be those that stand beside you and support you.” She finished and he braced himself for more memories, for something to happen. Instead what he got was the sense of kindred between he and this she-cat. That she had once been Deputy as he was now, even though she'd never faced the leader's ceremony. She had survived, small as she was, even found love and started her own family. He felt her strength and was awed by it, and realized then that he had started to find his own strength. He'd stood up to Stormstar when he believed sending the kits home was the wrong thing to do, even as he realized they belonged to TreeClan and had to return there. He'd remained strong as greencough hit their clan, as fire threatened the valley. He'd made plans to evacuate if they had to, ordered patrols, solved disputes. He was stronger than he believed, and that strength would see him into the future.
The next cat to approach him he recognized instantly, because she'd been a medicine cat he'd see whenever he was chosen for a gathering. Bluejay. The dark gray she-cat with her bright blue eyes and never ending kindness. She put her nose to his head and the ceremony continued. “With this life I give you tolerance, for your clan as well as yourself. RainClan is formed of more than those that are born to the clan itself and those that joined it. Accepting those differences and helping your clan to accept them will forge RainClan into a cohesive, stronger whole. Something it desperately needs in these changing times. All cats are different, and not all of us believe the same way. Some of us are born outside a clan, some of us born with two different clans in our blood. Some of us have even left one clan for another. Tolerance gives you the ability to bare these differences, to understand them and make those differences work for your clan rather than against it. RainClan is still divided in a way, with your leadership may it become truly whole once again.” He saw those that he knew had been on the Purist side during the war that split the clan in two. He saw the chaos formed by Swanfeather and her followers, the hatred that built between clanmates. It was a time of friends betraying friends and families ripped apart. He saw his brothers pulled away as their mentors left with the Purists, and his parents stayed neutral. He saw the hatred from the clan, the absolute terror of the kits that didn't know when it would end or what to believe. He wanted to end that, he wanted to have everyone feel equal to everyone else, regardless of the circumstances of their birth. He'd always felt more neutral than anything else, even as the cats around him were accusing him of being on one side or the other, or demanding he pick a side. He cared about his clan too much to pick a side. It had never bothered him where the cats around him came from, so long as they helped provide for the clan what did it matter? A clan divided as theirs still was, even as they said it was whole, was a clan brought to weakness. The old views were still present in some, and there were cats banished for their part in it all so that the clan could never truly be whole again. This was how he saw things, how he viewed the situation. Could he really bring them all together, when Stormstar and Timberstar had failed to really mend the rift in their times? Could those cats sent away have somehow been redeemed rather than left to possibly starve out in the world as those without a clan sometimes had happen? Swanfeather had returned, and he protected her. Could the same happen with some of the others sent out? He came out of the rush of faces and memory as the gentle medicine cat stepped back from him, dipping her head as she faded back into the line of cats in the fogginess of this place. “Remember that resolve when those around you disagree. And good luck.”
“Your mind drifts to what might have been and what could be. Come back, young tom, this ceremony isn't yet over.” The deep voice startled him, his eyes focusing as he met the gaze of a massive black tom with piercing gray eyes. He knew this tom, as he knew the she-cat that had first greeted him in this place outside the world. “Darkwater.” He hadn't thought he'd see this particular tom, who had been so vocal about his opinions on the civil war and those that left the clan on the opposite side. Opinionated and outspoken, Darkwater had been one of those cats that would have hated Swanfeather's return, even as he'd died just before her return. Had being in StarClan helped his temperament any, Silverfrost wondered? “Silverfrost. You've come a long way from the sickly young kit everyone thought would die before he became an apprentice.” He stepped right up to Silverfrost then, touching his nose to the others head. “With this life I give you loyalty, use it well to serve your clan. Loyalty is something we each must ask of ourselves and deserve to have. As leader you will gain the loyalty of the clan at large, though you may find you have to prove yourself over and over to some of the ones that know you and your philandering ways. Loyalty must be earned, even as some give it to you freely. Gather those most loyal to you close in the coming moons to bolster your confidence and help you find your paws in the role of a leader. Don't be afraid to take them to task, and to remind them that you are their leader, that StarClan approved of you, and that they have pledged their loyalty to the clan and thus to you. Sometimes, a cat has to be reminded of that little fact.” Loyalty was something he understood. Loyalty to his clan and loyalty to his family. Standing at someone's side in good times and bad, believing that they deserve your respect and regard and that they had earned your loyalty. Watching the loyalty offered to their leaders and deputies throughout the moons he'd been alive. Loyalty, absolute and unwavering. It was something he believed in strongly. He had those that would stand by him no matter where he lead them. He could hear Echoshade's quiet voice telling him she'd always stay at his side, be his confidant and dearest of friends, as long as he needed her. His loyalty to his family, to his brothers and sister, to his kits even as he didn't want to raise them or help raise them himself. That was something one had to earn in most cases. Prove yourself worthy of our trust and loyalty, and you gain that loyalty forever. Unless you were stupid and screwed up so massively that no one wanted to remain loyal to you and your cause. In a way, even as they split the clan apart, the Purists had also believed in loyalty. Loyalty to each other, and to Swanfeather, and in their cause. He was nudged again as that life came into him, still by Darkwater. “Do well by our clanmates. Bring RainClan to greatness, forge them together as loyal clancats, and remind them why it is we are so fiercely loyal to each other as some have forgotten in the battle of bloodlines and clans.”
He nodded as Darkwater slipped away, moving with the liquid grace that gave him his name. His next life came from an orange tabby she-cat with pale green eyes. What was it about him that StarClan sent him so many cats from other clans? He didn't mind, exactly, but it did make him wonder. He knew they weren't RainClan cats, some deeper sense told him so. Or perhaps that was StarClan itself telling him so. The she-cat seemed to wait for him to finish his thoughts before she approached him. Hers was a gentle baring, the sense of quiet acceptance surrounding her. Like she accepted everything life had given her and was still determined to give more to those that remained after she'd gone to join StarClan. “I am Softheart. Life isn't always fair, and there will always be those that want to bring you down and destroy your confidence in yourself or in those you trust. As long as you listen to those cats that matter most even the most hurtful of comments will never really be able to reach you. Even when everything is against you, you should live your life to its fullest potential, and thank StarClan to be given the chance to live.” She smiled and gave a soft sigh. “With this life I give you kindness, the ability to remain kind even when those around you are cruel. A leader needs equal parts kindness and firm word to maintain a balance in their clan. Use it well to lead in equal measure, and to help others when the cruel reality of the world or even their clanmates, becomes too much for them to bare alone. A leader needs many things, but kindness should be one you keep close even when your heart may harden by the very nature of the lives we lead. A kind word or gesture, even in the darkest of times or the most chaotic of circumstance, can sometimes mean far more than anything else when a cat is drowning in despair.” He was suddenly overwhelmed by the sensation that he was truly not alone, that cats had been reaching out a paw to help him for his entire life. As a kit sick in the nest his mother and father always encouraged him to keep fighting, to try and live just one more day. Drink a little more milk, eat a little more prey when he could, try a little harder. And his mother's closest friend had continued on even as he grew into a gangly apprentice. You'll catch up to your siblings soon enough. A cat that takes longer to mature is often one that becomes greater than their peers. As long as you don't give up in yourself others will keep believing in you. He remembered many a time where he'd sleep tucked up in a pile with one of his friends when his day had just been very bad, and sleeping in his mothers nest with she and his father after becoming deputy. He was a grown cat, but that simple comfort, her simple kindness and willingness to let her grown son rest with her so that he would be at ease with his new role in life, was something he would never forget.
A she-cat so small he thought with horror that she must have died as an apprentice approached him next with a slight smile. She was so delicate that she reminded him of how slender his own body had been at that age, how he was still very lean and slender as an adult and likely always would be. He'd never be large and imposing, never have the sheer presence of some of the other leaders, but he had his own merit and accepted that. She smiled, light green eyes shining and making her already white pelt seem almost luminescent for some reason. StarClan had chosen a star touched apprentice to give him a life. He was startled when her very adult voice came out of her so small body. “With this life I give you patience, use it to remain patient even when those around you lose theirs. In the coming moons there will be many demands on your time, to the point that you may even question where a day has gone when its over because you have been so busy that nothing is left for you. Stay patient with the problems your clanmates come to you with, and think clearly through all problems before deciding on a course of action. Patience is a virtue of a good leader, and staying patient even when cats try your patience will never lead you wrong. Rushing into something can get cats killed, and as leader your primary responsibility is to keep your clanmates safe. Never turn away a cat in need of your time and attention, and try to make time for each and every one of them as needed. Try to be patient with the apprentices, especially when they all clamor for your attention at once, as youngsters do. A leader's time is always in demand, so try and remember to take care of yourself too.” Memory overcame him again, and the sense of how calm he'd had to be in recent moons. Echoshade begged Stormstar to let her keep the kits, and even though he'd known the answer he'd wanted to take the queen's side. The doubts of his capabilities as leader, how painfully young he was to be doing this at all. Stormstar had seemed to him able to fend off everything with the grace of age and experience. Their leader remained patient and calm despite all those that came against him. Stormstar was a steady cat, the rock within the storm of life. It was a state he doubted he'd ever come to himself, but he hoped to at least try.
The next to approach him actually clenched Silverfrost's heart with pain. Mothfoot, his apprentice's father. He had done his best to do right by Frogpaw, and would continue to do so, but it killed him to know that the youngster was being raised by the clan rather than by his parents that had been so proud of their litter. Mothfoot was a large tom, and met his gaze unflinchingly as he had always done in life. They'd never really seen eye to eye, because Silverfrost chose neutrality and refused to pick a side no matter how those around him raged. But still he was here, and he approached on quiet paws to touch his nose to Silverfrost's head. His voice rumbled as he spoke, and that quiet strength he had always admired of the tom shown through even in death. “With this life I give you courage, the ability to stand your ground even when all others have fled. You are facing the toughest challenge of your entire life. You're young and you're scared, but have courage. Stand by the choices you make, don't let anyone force you to change your mind because they disagree. Have the courage to stand up to those that disagree, and the strength of heart to go forward into this difficult time with your head held high. You are a warrior of RainClan, and the river grows always stronger.” He drowned in the next moment, drowned in his insecurity and fear, in the terror of realizing he was Deputy with lives that depended on him, and then the soul shattering terror that filled him now, as he faced his challenge to become leader. As he accepted lives and they strengthened him one after the other. Instead he felt deeply sick, worried and wondering even more if he was worthy. But then a light seemed to shine through it all, brief points as he faced off with one of his clanmates, ordering a patrol and taking absolutely no nonsense from those that had a problem with taking orders from a cat their junior. His short moments where his claws dug in and he refused to be moved, and his determination to stand by Stormstar on this final journey. There was courage in his heart, if he cared to reach for it. And with Mothfoot showing him his strength and bolstering that courage he knew he could do anything. Maybe. And then his stomach fell out the bottom of his paws again as Mothfoot left to rejoin the others.
Silverfrost shook, the world going through so many memories and faces that he felt sick with it. He felt burdened rather than reassured, and wondered if he'd survive this process. Would anyone truly stand by him if he were to fail? What would happen to the clan if he couldn't do it? They needed a leader, someone strong and stable to lead them on. Could he be that cat? Him? The tom who loved she-cats and lived for the pleasures of romance without consequence? Who's only true love was the cold bite of leafbare snow and the frozen waters that sustained their prey source? These cats were offering him lives, time beyond the norm for any cat. Lives to burn through if he got badly injured, lives to kick him back to the living world if he ever lost his way. The thought of dying was a terrifying one, but dying nine times? StarClan forbid.
He felt a nose touch his head, and then the world went still, his mind settled. Blue eyes the color of the winter sky met a dull yellow pair that radiated with a strength that meant only one thing to his exhausted spirit. Leader. Deadstar. He didn't know how he knew this, he'd never met this tom before, but the black cat before him was a former leader of RainClan. Deadstar. And looking into those eyes that had seen everything, had made it through the rigors of leadership and survived, who had kept going on despite all the odds set against him, that finally got through his fear. His stomach stopped revolting, his body stopped shaking, he felt for the first time, like this was going to work. “All lives are given freely, and if we believed you were not worthy you wouldn't be here. Take note of this, young tom, and never forget. Stormstar chose you, and we accept his choice. You are going to do fine. You will make mistakes, you will have times where leadership bears down on you and makes you wish to give up. Those times will make you stronger as long as you carry on through them. You are not alone, you are never alone. Seek comfort in those that love you, and seek strength from the lives you are being given. Have faith. StarClan approves, and StarClan always has a reason for the things that happen.” He let that sink in for a moment before issuing the final life. “With this life I give you faith, the ability to believe in something more than yourself. You are part of a greater design, and your impact will be one that will always be remembered. A leader's duty is to set the example, to show the path to those that lose it, and to encourage those that need it the most. Have faith; in yourself and your clanmates, in your family. And, most important of all, have faith in StarClan. You will not be led astray.”
As Deadstar stepped back he was faced with each of the cats that gave him a life. They were in a circle around him, each giving him a look that seemed like they approved. He was suddenly hot then cold, his spirit being torn from his body then shoved back in and changed for the rest of his nine lives. He was now more than just a warrior, more than just a single cat in the grand scheme of things. He was Silverfrost no longer, and he heard them hail him loud through the eves of StarClan.
The final life giver stepped forward from the rest, leveling his gaze at the new leader as he finished the ceremony. “I hail you by your new name, Silverstar. Your old life is no more. You have now received the nine lives of a leader, and StarClan grants you the guardianship of RainClan. Defend it well; care for young and old; honor your ancestors and the traditions of the warrior code; live each life with pride and dignity.” From a previous leader to a new one, the tradition had been completed. The ceremony ended.
And they chanted his new name, and the world faded as he heard them calling out a name he had never thought he'd hear. A new name, and he wasn't alone. He was bolstered by the strength of those that had come before him, and knew now, without any doubts, that he could be the leader RainClan needed. He was going to make mistakes, he accepted that, but he would continue on anyway. Learn, experience new things and just do his absolute best to do right by his clan. He would not fail them.
He opened his eyes to the sight of the majestic Moon Tree around him, awed by it for the first time. He'd been so full of fear and doubt, but as he took a deep breath and climbed to his paws to exit, now a new cat, he felt only resolve. Was he still deeply afraid that he'd screw up? Yes, but he wasn't going to let it cripple him, or send him like a kit to his mother's nest as being made Deputy had done. It was time to accept that thing happened like they should. And now it was time to fulfill his promise.
“Swanfeather, Stormheart. Lets go home.” Head held high, ears attuned to the world around him. Not sick to his stomach or flinching in fear. And home sounded absolutely wonderful.
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The Nine Lives :
Miststream - calm
Frostfang - Unconditional love
Meadowleaf - strength
Bluejay - tolerance
Darkwater - loyalty
Softheart - kindness
Dovesong - patience
Mothfoot- courage
Deadstar - faith
Hellion Fate of Five Staff 
