The grey warrior was awake in her nest, to tired to get up and begin the day but to restless to actually sleep, the kits growing inside her were making life a little more unpredictable, while she might be fine to hunt one day the next all she would want to do is nap all day and while her family had just passed most of it off as tiredness and overworked. Lilyfrost could not help but let her thoughts drift to Bonetail, how this was partically his fault and how he had expressed no interest in being pulled apart limb from limb by her brothers if she told them of her pregnancy.
But by now Shadowpaw and Smokefur were beginning to annoy her with their encouragement to tell Pinestar, quoting that it would be easier to hide the kits from her family if she had the leader protecting them as well. Lilyfrost was still nervous, she was well aware of most of Nightclan's opinion on her choosen mate, what if Pinestar told her to abort them, that Bonetail was not worthy of beinf a father like her mother and brother's would have made her do if they ever found out.
Finally the young queen to be rose from her nest, shook her fur to rid herself of excess feathers than she had taken to lining her nest with to ease her discomfort when resting. Determined that she would tell the leader now, not a minute later she quickly exited the warrior den , heading towards the leader den with fire in her bright blue eyes.
Respectfully the young cat stopped just outside Pinestar's den, allowing her head to poke in just slightly so that she could alert the ginger female to her pressence. " Pinestar. I have some news I wish to share, in private of course" she added, just in case her nose failed to pick up any extra scents in the den It was unreliably picky since she started to become more and more hormonal as her pregnancy progressed.
We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
It had been a short few days. Unlike the start of greenleaf, the patrols seemed to be painless and thankfully uneventful, interactions between the clans more or less casual. It was the warm season, and although the forest seemed to be teeming with wildlife, Nightclan felt almost empty. There was something missing. Pinestar squirmed in her nest, green gaze listless and thoughtful. It was nighttime, and Nightclan hunting parties were usually lively and buzzing with energy, though Pinestar had already decided that she was to lead a dawn patrol in the morning.
The ginger she-cat, although quiet and hardly her usual energetic self, was quite content and happy to sleep. It felt good to curl up in her nest. Her eyes closed and her breathing slowed. It felt like only moments had passed before she heard a soft voice at the entrance of her den. Lilyfrost. Pinestar noted as she listened to the she-cat's voice carefully, eyes still closed, ears flicked towards her visitor respectfully.
News? Pinestar wondered. It doesn't seem to be urgent. She thought, opening her luminous eyes. She could see Lilyfrost's grey head poking through her entrance, pending entry.
"Of course." Pinestar murmured. "Come in."
The crimson she-cat stretched and sat up, curling her tail neatly around her paws. I wonder what this is about? Maybe she's having some trouble with Jaystep and Bonetail. Pinestar thought, recalling how hostile the black tom was towards the lazy warrior during the night of her announcement recalling Dimstar's breeding regulations. Bonetail certainly asked for a sour look though. He seems to know how to push Jaystep's buttons. The ginger she-cat held back a yawn, looking calmly at Lilyfrost. Whatever her clanmate had to say would be heeded carefully.
Pinestar was once a great friend to anyone who needed a shoulder to cry on or another to talk to, but since her ascent to leadership, friendliness had been replaced with a distant respect, and those she was once close with grew further from her. Pinestar fell into her new role responsibly though. She was a leader, and to be so, she had to endure the loneliness. She had no mate, and it seemed as though all the friends she once had have drifted far away, as if Pinestar was no longer walking on the same soil or sleeping in the same camp. The clan treated her like they treated Dimstar, as if she was just an icon and an empty, lifeless figurehead of Nightclan. But I'm not Dimstar, and the sooner they can figure that out, the happier we'll all be. Pinestar thought curtly, shedding a faint, welcoming smile towards the grey she-cat.
Part of her didn't want to be stressed with the power and care of leading Nightclan, but the other part of her felt like she could put Nightclan back on track to being one of the most feared and respected clans in the forest.
We'll start by reclaiming the Wooded Marsh. The ginger leader mused, tail twitching excitedly. But Lilyfrost has some news. That comes first. She reminded herself.
"Is everything alright?" Pinestar inquired, eyes lighthearted and bright.
The ginger coloured leader spoke, her words gentle as she looked at the green eyed warrior. Lilyfrost nodded immediately, feelling a little nervous, like a scolded kit just creeping back to it's mother to say sorry but she held herself together. Pinestar needed to know and she had already told Bonetail that she was telling the leader of their clan about her pregnancy and as she was not required to tell anyone who the father was, she decided to leave that news to Bonetail if he wished to tell anyone.
" Everything's fine, It's just... well I know it may seem ironic with your recent recall of the breeding regulations but, I am expecting kits" She finally blurted it out, feeling only a little bit less nervous than when she told Bonetail, she may respect the leader, but she was nothing more than a soft figurehead to the majority of Nightclan.
They respected power and fear and to Lilyfrost, Pinestar was a little to soft for her exact liking. Perhaps it was just leader's in general, maybe Lilyfrost did not like those who expected something from her or expected her to be something that she was not. " Please don't tell my brother's or Rainsong they will not be impressed" she added, praying to Starclan that Pinestar took her warning and did not tell the more ruthless of Rainsong's kits.
While her mother would likely be delighted to have grandkit's, not telling her they were around before they were fully safe from the wrath of her older brother. Pinestar would surely know that one she cat could not protect newborn kits from five full grown toms alone, she just hoped she would accept Lilyfrost's announcement and perhaps, guide her in what to do, something that Lilyfrost would of never of asked Dimstar to do.
We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
Kits? This...This is not the news I thought she would bring. Pinestar mused, her warm smile faltering momentarily as the leader's heart stuttered in her chest, trapped within the fierce clutches of disappointment. Surely this is a good thing. The ginger she-cat convinced herself. But I was hoping Lilyfrost would accompany me on the battle patrol... The crimson cat let her thoughts evaporate, noticing how she had left Lilyfrost in an awkward, uncomfortable silence. This is good for the clan. We need new blood. She decided, letting loose an effortless smile. She was happy. Truly, this was fantastic news for Lilyfrost. For Nightclan! So what if she didn't want her family told?
"Congratulations! Thank you kindly for the news. I'll be sure to converse with Smokefur and Shadowpaw about when you should be temporarily pulled from warrior duties. You should be proud, Lilyfrost, and excited." She spoke calmly.
Pinestar had promised to herself that private matters were not to be meddled with unless for the security and safety of the clan, and with the direct statement that she wasn't to tell the she-cat's family about it? Surely if even those closest to her were not to know her condition, it was not for the ears of the entire clan. But...Why is she keeping it secret from her family? Rainsong would be overjoyed at this news, and I doubt her brothers would hurt one of their clanmates... At least Jaystep wouldn't... Pinestar thought to herself.
Unless... Understanding dawned on Pinestar like a long awaited sunrise, though she held her tongue. The ginger she-cat wanted to confirm her suspicion to satisfy a selfish curiosity, though perhaps it was for the best that the father remain anonymous, for his own good.
The silvery gray warrioress did not miss the flicker of dissapointment that appeared on her leader's face seconds after her announcement left her lips and she almost recoiled in hurt.why would the leader be disappointed for her? didn't she call of Dimstar's breeding regulations for a reason? Nightclan's nusery was certainly not full and this reaction was not the one the she cat expected from her leader but she soon shrugged it off as Pinestar finally congratulated her and told her about the time when she was to be pulled from warrior duties.
Lilyfrost was the first to admit that while some she cats adored the thought of giving life to the next generation of pure blooded Nightclanner, Lilyfrost was not one of those maternal type she cat's. She prefered to rely on herself and noone else. Her independence didn't seem to register with her family so she tended to avoid spending huge amounts of time with them, with Rainsong in particilar. The Elder could not seem to understand that her kits were all grown up, heck even Crowstrike was nearly a elder himself, yet the gray furred matriach refused to step down, if she had her way, Rainsong would boss them to her last breath.
Her thoughts on her mother were broken when Pinestar continued on to say that she woiuld not tell anyone and Lilyfrost realised she had been silent thoughtout her leader's attempt to cover the ginger cat's own disappointment.
" Thank you Pinestar, I appreciate it, I love my family but this is not something I wish to share with them, just yet. Anyway is there anything I can do for you?' she inquired, as much as she enjoyed lazing around with Bonetail she still had a little part of her that grew restless. While asking the leader if there was anything that the expecting queen could do might be a little taboo it was one of the few things that kept the feline sane.