[Deleted]

We're gonna play in the dark till it's golden again.

There was something incredibly enthralling about all of this. About the hare clenched tightly between her jaws and the sight of the nursery in the distance as she made her way back to camp. Perhaps it was just the fact that she was a warrior now, just like she'd always wanted to be. Yet even as she had been out hunting that day, she couldn't shake the swelling feeling in her chest that beckoned her to the nursery where her good friend resided.

For the most part, Batchaser had ignored it in favor of catching prey, but the moment she felt as though she'd had enough she made a B-line towards camp. It was an odd feeling really, back when she and Cloudyfeather were still apprentices she'd never felt so eager to track her down. Now that they were sleeping in separate places however, she'd begun to feel rather lonely.

It still felt like just yesterday the two were going on their first hunting trip together. And while she was thankful that they weren't, seeing as she'd fainted that day, a part of her missed spending time with her friend. So she was happy to bring her best catch to the nursery today, eager to see how Cloudyfeather was doing .

She padded quietly into the nursery, being sure not to make too much noise, lest she startle one of the queens. Carefully, she set the hare down before maneuvering herself over to Cloudyfeather's side, giving her a gentle smile. "How's my favorite queen doing this morning?" She asked.

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[Fawn]

Cloudyfeather

20 Moons, LightningClan Queen

Cloudyfeather feigned sleep most of the time. Or she made an effort to fetch clean bedding and fresh water for Morningfrost's two kits, or the elders. Anything to keep from being trapped in the den with her again. Cloudyfeather would flinch every time the she-cat opened her mouth, feeling lower than worms crawling through dirt, lower, even, than tree roots struggling to find water.

Even if Morningfrost didn't say something blatantly critical, Cloudyfeather would find something negative in those words anyway. She couldn't help it. Cloudyfeather was a queen, yes but... in name only. She had no kits of her own. No toms had spoken to her beyond a 'good morning', either out of her crippling shyness or their complete lack of interest.

Having just brought in some new moss, Cloudyfeather suppressed a sigh, delicate paws smoothing it out so there would be enough for Eaglekit and Dawnkit.

"How's my favorite queen doing this morning?"

Cloudyfeather spun around, fur slightly raised in surprise, but that surprise quickly turned to delight - and heartache. She'd missed Batchaser so much. The tabby and white she-cat hurried over and pressed her nose into her dear friend's shoulder fur, whispering frantically. "N-Not good. Can we talk outside please?" Cloudyfeather resisted the powerful impulse to throw a frightened glance at Morningfrost, before quickly skirting Batchaser to reach the open camp.

The breeze was hot against her fur, but Cloudyfeather didn't care. It was a relief from the icy stares and barbs from the other queen.

"I'm a bad queen, B-Batchaser!" Cloudyfeather looked close to tears. "I don't know how to talk to toms. And what tom would even wa-want kits with me?" She did not have Dovecloud's or Larkfeather's beauty, or Batchaser's talents. She could hunt, but had anyone actually seen her hunt apart from Nightstep?

No.

So as far as everyone else was concerned... what good was she? Why would they be convinced she'd even be a good mother?

318 Words - @marshymutt - Notes

[Deleted]

We're gonna play in the dark till it's golden again.

Her companion's delight at the sight of her brought a warm feeling to the she-cat's heart. The type of warmth that could melt snow in the midst of a bitter leafbare, and it only seemed to grow in power as the tabby and white she-cat pressed her nose into Batchaser's shoulder. She could have purred from the touch alone if it weren't for the words that followed it. "N-Not good. Can we talk outside please?"

The question was a bit odd to her and she wondered what it was that caused her dear friend to want to avoid talking inside of the nursery. She agreed anyways though, heading out to the center of camp with her. Once outside, Batchaser opened her mouth to speak but was quickly beaten to the punch when Cloudyfeather began to speak of how she thought she was a bad queen.

Immediately the dark-furred warrior's ears flattened against her skull and she moved to nuzzle against her companion in the hopes her contact would help to calm her a bit. "Woah woah, not having a mate and kits yet does not make you a bad queen. Finding a mate is difficult and it takes time, especially if you want it to be a relationship that lasts. So you are not a bad queen for not having a family just yet." She stated.

"And I can assure you that there are plenty of toms who'd be happy to have you as their mate. It's all a matter of trying to get to know them. As for talking to toms though I can assure you it isn't that much different from talking to a she-cat. Just be yourself and try to befriend them first and you can work on building a relationship from there." she added, giving her a small encouraging smile. "Sometimes all it takes is a close friendship for some romantic feelings to spark."

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[Fawn]

Cloudyfeather

20 Moons, LightningClan Queen

Batchaser spoke sense. Cloudyfeather could see that through the overwhelming flood of negative emotions and hurt trying to drown her. The she-cat sniffled, rubbing her face with a small white paw. "B-But I'm not... I'm not good at talking to others. Will you help me, Batchaser? I don't even know who to talk to."

It might come as a surprise to Batchasere, but Cloudyfeather hadn't actually thought much about permanent mates, or even romantic feelings. She admired the love her parents had for each other - but Cloudyfeather hadn't once considered that within the realm of possibility for herself. She just wanted kits. A little family to call her own, to nuture and love and devote her heart to.

Wh-What if I'm bad at this? What if the only thing she could do, was hunt? Cloudyfeather's soul ached miserably at this very real possibility. Trusting Batchaser with a fragile heart, Cloudyfeather looked at her best friend beseechingly. "Do you t-think I'd be a good... a good mother?"

The way Morningfrost handled her kits, the other she-cat was obviously experienced. Her adult offspring were powerful warriors - a mighty hunter, a strong fighter, and even a beautiful warrioress - what if Morningfrost's... stern handling of her offspring was what she would have to do with her own kits?

Cloudyfeather had envisioned herself playing with her own litter, encouraging them to treat each other with kindness. She didn't like the way Eaglekit and Dawnkit tussled so roughly with one another; they were three moons, old enough now to no longer need Morningfrost's milk - but weren't they biting each other too hard? Dawnkit often squealed in protest when her brother displayed no inhibitions over attacking his sister like she was a real opponent.

The sight of this confused and worried Cloudyfeather. She wouldn't dream of treating her own siblings this way. And yet... Cloudyfeather bowed her head, kneading the ground with all the uncertainty and doubt plaguing the tabby she-cat.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world

318 - @marshymutt - Notes

[Deleted]

We're gonna play in the dark till it's golden again.

It was difficult to look at Cloudyfeather like this. Even after her helpful, or at least she thought they were helpful, words, it still seemed that Batchaser couldn't manage to quell her fears. She still seemed absolutely miserable, prompting the dark-furred cat to wonder what had happened between getting her warrior name and moving into the nursery to cause her friend such distress.

Still, she listened to her words, hoping to glean some sort of idea on how to help her tabby counterpart in the process.  The answer seemed to become clearer as the young queen spoke, eventually asking her if she thought she'd make a good mother. Without a moment's hesitation, Batchaser pressed her nose to Cloudyfeather's shoulder and wrapped her tail around her companion's body as best as she could. 

"Of course you'll be a good mother. You're a sweet, loving cat, and I know you'll raise your kittens to be kind and noble warriors. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you'll do wonderfully as a mother. As for finding a tom to father your litters, I'll do everything in my power to help you find someone, and if you ever need help talking to them I'll be there to assist you. No matter how long it takes, we're going to be in this together. Provided that you want my help I mean." she replied. "But I'll always be here for you, regardless of what happens."

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[Fawn]

Cloudyfeather

20 Moons, LightningClan Queen

Tears of gratitude overflowed in Cloudyfeather's eyes, and she buried her face in her dearest friend's fur. "T-Thank you," she choked, small shoulders shaking. Cloudyfeather couldn't put words to what she was feeling - it was all so overwhelming - but any onlooker could see that she was relieved to have an ally. To have someone stretch out a helping paw to cope with life's stresses.

"I-I'm such a fluffheart," Cloudyfeather whispered, trying to wipe her tears away with her paws again. "I-I'm sorry I got your f-fur all wet. I-I just re-really needed to hear that." The distraught she-cat covered her face with her tail, which had bristled in the height of her emotional upset. Slowly beginning to calm down, Cloudyfeather tried not to think of how much of a mess she must look right now.

"Will you go hunting with me, Batchaser? I-I don't want to be stuck in camp anymore." She missed her apprenticeship. The simplicity of going out hunting with Batpaw and Sunnypaw, and not having to worry too much about her future. It was a saddening thing, to her, that she no longer saw Nightstep as regularly as she used to.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world

193 Words - @marshymutt - Notes

[Deleted]

We're gonna play in the dark till it's golden again.

"Of course you can come hunting with me! I'd love to have you along with me, it'll be just like back when we were apprentices!" she smiled softly, though she didn't seem quite as enthusiastic as she usually did. If anything, she seemed a little bit sad, her body drooping ever so slightly at the mention of their apprenticeship.

"It's a little funny, we were apprentices not all that long ago but it feels like it's been forever since we were. In fact, it wasn't all that long ago that I told you how I didn't think Firestar was gonna make me a warrior but now...here we are. I thought being a warrior was gonna be a big thing for us but it's pretty much the same as being an apprentice...only we're older, we don't have mentors anymore and you and I don't sleep in the same den anymore."

She paused for a moment, thinking, before she spoke once more. "It kinda feels like we don't get to see each other as much as we used to. But I think that's more my fault than anything. I should start coming to visit you more often when I get the chance. After all, I don't want you to forget how much I love you!"

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[Fawn]

Cloudyfeather

20 Moons, LightningClan Queen

Cloudyfeather's large blue eyes, still wet and shining from her tears, gently combed over Batchaser's face. Oh no, h-have I upset her? Batchaser did not seem to be as energetic as usual; of course, Cloudyfeather had just... cried all over the black-furred warrioress. Still, even with Batchaser trying to maintain a calm, friendly disposition, Cloudyfeather couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't the only one feeling... sad.

"It kinda feels like we don't get to see each other as much as we used to. But I think that's more my fault than anything. I should start coming to visit you more often when I get the chance. After all, I don't want you to forget how much I love you!"

A soft purr burst from the tabby queen's throat, dainty paws carrying her forward to nuzzle Batchaser's cheek. "You're my best friend in the whole valley, Batchaser," she whispered, excited and warmed by the rush of affection Batchaser's words had summoned to the surface. "I don't w-want you to forget how much I love you either! We can b-both visit more often." Seeing Batchaser every day (or at least every other day) would give her something to look forward to.

A friendly face. A kind smile. A cat that made her heart beat faster with excitement at the prospect of a visit. It would make up for Morningfrost - hopefully. Cloudyfeather rubbed her paws over her face, trying to get rid of the tears still clinging to her pelt like morning dew. A soft shake of her coat, and a much needed breath.

Yes. Now she was ready to hunt. She was ready to feel happy again.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world

275 Words - @marshymutt - Notes