[Fawn]

Blackwolf

So goodbye for now
And I'll see you again
Some way, somehow
When it's my turn
To get to the other side

He would bury her far away from camp. He didn't want her anywhere near the medicine cats that had failed to save her life. He didn't want anyone near her. Blackwolf's jaw was locked, and his movements were ungainly as he carried his mate to a secluded area of the forest. Almost there, Ghostlight. Though his leg ached from the added weight, his chest ached worse from seemingly no weight at all. An emptiness that was filled - briefly, violently with rage - and then drained just as quickly by reality.

Blackwolf set her down with care, his muzzle lingering near her cheek. This wasn't his Ghostlight anymore. She was gone, but that did not stop him from licking her cheek, and pretending he didn't feel so tired. Didn't feel so hollow. Black and white shadows flitted at the edges of his peripherals, and he barely acknowledged them beyond a grim glance. He was too busy getting to work.

Black paws grew darker still by the marsh-dampened dirt, Blackwolf feeling the ground sift beneath his claws as he dug a hole deep enough to protect her. He worked in silence. There was nothing to say. What good did words do, when they couldn't heal the sick or bring back the dead? Dusk was falling, stretching his shadow to the nearby trees. He felt thin. Just as stretched as his shadow.

When his limbs trembled with fatigue - a soft hiss of protest as he fought his own tiredness - Blackwolf finally climbed out of the hole he'd made. Hollystorm and Bonetail gently gathered their mother's body, carrying and laying her softly into her place of final rest. Blackwolf couldn't will himself to sit.

He had to keep moving.

As soon as they were done, he pushed past his kits to begin filling the grave back in. He stared, dark-eyed, as Ghostlight's pelt disappeared beneath the freshly dug soil, until she was buried - out of his sight but never out of his mind. Hollystorm, Bonetail and Coyotepaw had gone.

He didn't care. Nothing really mattered anymore. If his ungrateful kits wanted to go back to their lives, fine. Heart searing with grief, Blackwolf's head turned sharply as the sound of footsteps returned. He watched, throat tightening, as Hollystorm, Bonetail and Coyotepaw returned carrying flowers. Hollystorm went first, laying a stalk of purple flowers on the mound of earth holding her mother.

"I'll see you in StarClan," she whispered, and managed a weak purr.

Bonetail went next, his normally pristine white paws marred by the dirt. But for once, he didn't seem to care. Blue flowers were placed overtop the purple ones; the white warrior hesitated, as if he might speak. But his strength failed him - or he saved his words for another time - and backed away to give Coyotepaw room.

Blackwolf hovered protectively around the grave, as if already at war with the crows and the disgusting scavengers that would be dumb enough to try their luck. He couldn't stop moving. His paws kept wanting to carry him somewhere - after her - but there was no place to go. No place in the valley where Ghostlight could be found, even if he spent a thousand moons looking.

And that simple, heart-clenching truth, broke something inside of him.

Blackwolf sat down, and he gazed numbly at the dirt, his back leg at an awkward angle from the soreness. The old warrior would not bow his head. Not until he was alone, left with the ghosts of her memories, and the starlight of her spirit from Silverpelt.

I'll hold you again

Words: 550ish
Tagging BlooRey DVD (for the feels), @zen (for the feels), @kahani (for the feels), @jet , Silver (For general high rank awareness), @poptart (for the grief)
Song: Disciple - Things Left Unsaid courtesy of Phoenix (this is your fault)
Notes: SHUT UP I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING