[Deleted]

Gather up your tears, keep them in your pocket,
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them.

Leaving her sister and newborn son was the hardest thing she had ever done. She could not bring herself to leave right away, not even when Nighthawk came to lead her to StarClan. She had been so happy to see her father, and even Ebonykit was there, telling her to hurry up already. She had nearly gone with them, but then she had remembered Bluejay, and tiny Nightkit, and her paws had frozen.

“I can't....”

Nighthawk's bright green eyes, so striking against his pitch black fur, had softened knowingly, “We'll be waiting for you, when you're ready.” He had rasped his tongue over her ear, just like he'd done so often when she was a kit, and turned to take Ebonykit back with him, leaving her alone with her lifeless body.

She had looked at herself then, lying so still and already cold in this freezing weather. The branch had been heavy, and she was not a large cat. Her death had been quick. She could remember no pain. She was simply alive and then suddenly... she wasn't. There had been a moment's lapse, and then she had opened her eyes to see Nighthawk waiting for her.

She waited, unfazed by the cold now, until a patrol came to fetch her body. She followed them back to camp and stood vigil over her own body that night, beside the sister she loved so much, and who had loved her just as intensely. “Bluejay... I won't leave you. I promise. I'll always be here for you, like you were always there for me.” She tried to lick her sister's forehead, but she passed through her instead. She shook her head, a flash of frustration coursing through her, “I'm right here! Please... please don't be sad! I'm here....” Her throat tightened with emotion and she hung her head, pale pink eyes closing tightly, “I'm so sorry, Bluejay... I never wanted to make you feel this way. Please... don't.... I love you. Please....”

The light touch on her flank made her jump, and she turned to see Nighthawk again, “She can't hear you, Pinkcloud. Not yet.”

“Not... not yet?” Pinkcloud's ears pricked, her eyes shining with hope, then panic and dread shot through her, “She isn't going to die is she!?”

Nighthawk purred reassuringly, “All cats die, Pinkcloud. But no, she isn't coming to join us quite yet.” He brushed his nose against her cheek, “She needs guidance. TreeClan needs her to be more than a warrior.”

“More...?” Pinkcloud tilted her head, looking back at her sister curiously.

“Come with me. You will be able to reach her far easier than any other cat in StarClan. You can help her, Pinkcloud. You can keep your promise to her,” he turned, glancing back to see if she would follow this time.

Her heart ached as she stared at Bluejay. How she wished she could comfort her as though she were still alive, to press herself against her and let her know she was still there, that she didn't have to be sad. She can't hear you, Pinkcloud. Not yet.

Leaving her sister was the hardest thing she had ever done. But it wasn't goodbye. She turned away from Bluejay's mourning form and stepped into the nursery where one of the other queens had settled Nightkit in against her belly. Nighthawk stepped up beside her, looking down at his grandson with her. "He will know you through his Clanmates. They will take of him," he promised her gently.

Knowing it was for naught, she thrust her nose down to press into his kitten soft fur one last time, but just as with her sister she only passed through him. She choked on a sob and Nighthawk pressed against her comfortingly, "Bluejay will take care of him... I know she will." She pressed her face into her father's dark fur for a long moment. Taking a deep breath, she looked down at her son once more, lowering herself until she hovered close enough to nuzzle him, had she been able to do so, "I will always be with you, Nightkit. I pray you know that. I love you. I will never stop loving you." She wished she could touch him, just one more time, to rasp her tongue over his fur so he would know his mother's love. Her heart breaking, she turned away from him, and Nighthawk led her away, his tail draped over her back affectionately.

The sharp knife of a short life, well...
I've had just enough time.