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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2015 19:32:25 GMT -5
Smokefur had made quick work checking in on the cats of Nightclan after her return, and she was thankful that her apprentice and the rest of the clan had brought her up to speed. In most cases it was simple things, little bits of medical history she would store away if she could possibly hope to remember it all before she needed to treat the cat again. Not all the ailments in Nightclan were so routine however, and she was on her way to check on one of the more serious cases she was presented with. She made her way out of her den having just put some freshly picked medicinal supplies with the rest of the neatly organized herbs. Deciding she shouldn't come empty pawed she elected to make a b-line for the freshkill pile, she wished she knew Hazepaws' favorite prey but alas she just had to make a guess. Deciding on a slightly soggy mouse (what prey wasn't soggy in Nightclan) she picked it up and headed for the apprentices den. Quietly entering the den she found its lone occupant asleep, just as she figured he would be. She moved silently and set the mouse next to him and began to gently prod his shoulder with a soft paw. "Hazepaw..." She said slowly and in a gentle tone, wanting him to wake gently. "Wake up, Hazepaw... I brought you something to eat..." She continued in the same way with a rhythmic prodding from her paw. Fawn
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Post by Fawn on Feb 9, 2015 20:29:26 GMT -5
HAZEPAW 18 Moons || NightClan || Tom || Narcoleptic
He had been dreaming about his friends again. Only this time, he wasn't lost, he wasn't desperately trying to claw his way out of the mountains and back into the place he belonged; in this dream, he was a warrior, and he was normal. (Well, as normal as a cat like him could be) Strong and confident, he'd been agile like Brightfeather, able to keep pace with Sunpulse and Darkblaze, and he could hunt well enough to impress even Moondance. Well done, Hazefur. She sounded almost friendly, and the tortoiseshell tom felt his mouth open to say thank you when he felt the warmth of her tongue brushing his ear, and his skin heated up beneath his pelt. To his credit, his dream-self simply raised his head higher, smiling, and gave her an affectionate nuzzle.
It was going well - Sunpulse had just made up a very creative rhyme about how much cooler he was now, and Darkblaze and Brightfeather were both looking at him as if he were a reliable, sturdy Clanmate - until someone started calling him by his apprentice name. Bewildered, 'Hazefur' had looked around, this gesture mimicked in reality by the slight toss and turn of the mottled apprentice on his nest, trying to find the source of the voice reaching out to him. 'I'm not Hazepaw anymore, I'm...' Before he could correct the unseen speaker, he snapped back to reality like a tree branch bent taut and then released, springing back into it's original position with jarring force.
The familiar stone walls and the powerful scent of swamp and wet peat brought anchored Hazepaw in the material world, and he straightened up with clumsy haste, embarrassed to have been caught sleeping in the apprentices den - the only one still left, he noticed with a guilty glance around the room - his ears down. "Sorry, I'm awake now. What can I do for you, Smokefur?" He mewed these words in his usual polite tone, scenting rather than seeing the mouse she'd brought, unaware that it was for him; he wasn't going to make those kinds of assumptions, especially when he was expected to catch his own food, and only after he'd brought some back for the queens and the elders.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2015 11:29:12 GMT -5
As Hazepaw began to rouse Smokefur planted herself on her haunches, then as he politely greeted her and asked what she was there for she felt a pang of sympathy for the cat. The apprentice seemed blue, but that was to be expected comparing his age and position in the clan. She could understand how easily he could be down, but she was surprised at his respectful nature in spite of these feelings. “I’ve brought you something to eat…” She said softly giving him a gentle bump with her head to express her good intentions. Smokefur pushed the mouse toward the apprentice in hopes of making it harder for him to refuse, he needed to eat as much as any other cat in the clan.
After giving him a moment to start eating she then revealed her intentions to Hazepaw, “I am here to check up on you, that’s all.” The medicine cat watched him intently looking for any signs that he would be putting a façade on to try and fool her. She knew that he was probably far from fine, and didn’t plan to let Hazepaw convince her otherwise without plenty of proof to the contrary. “So tell me, how are you?” She expected to receive an answer with the truth of its’ content ranging from a slightly true, to full blown lie.
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Post by Fawn on Feb 12, 2015 11:15:55 GMT -5
HAZEPAW 18 Moons || NightClan || Tom || Narcoleptic
Abashed by just how kind Smokefur was being to him, Hazepaw, after a guilty bit of hesitating, finally shook the last of the moss from his pelt and bent his head to crunch the mouse, noticing, as the delicious forest flavors swirled around inside of his mouth, that this was one of the things he'd missed most from his time in the mountains. "Thank you, Smokefur." He managed around a mouthful. She's being so sweet towards me, is it because she's been gone for a while too? Hazepaw contemplated this as he finished up the morning meal he'd been brought, making a very important note to go out and try to catch something for the Clan later on. It wouldn't seem unusual if, maybe because she had returned with a kit from noplace any cat in the Clan had heard of or visited, she was feeling like an outsider too? Some of the Clanmates were treating her a little differently than they'd used to, though Hazepaw hadn't really caught on to as much as he would've liked, not when his days were frequently interrupted by this compulsive, unstoppable need to sleep. Before the sympathetic feline could get too caught up in his own theories surrounding Smokefur's recent patterns of behavior, her voice, sweet as river water, pulled him from his thoughts.
"Me? Oh I'm--I'm okay, I guess." It took more effort than he cared admitting to smile, for once grateful that the apprentices' den was rather empty compared to what it used to be - back when the others had still been warriors-in-training along with him. "It's wonderful to be back home, I missed the Clan, and my friends and my siblings. But sometimes it gets a little lonely." He was determined not to babble, but he was also not the sort of tom anycat could peg to be a liar; even when he fell asleep and was caught by a senior, he would admit his faults, shuffle his paws and then promise not to let it happen again (though any cat with a brain could see that it was bound to happen again, like the rising and sinking of the sun in the sky). Hazepaw, despite his frequent inability to stay awake for long periods interrupted, didn't want the others to think he was completely lazy, so it was in Smokefur's presence that he groomed his pelt and wiped a damp paw over his mouth and whiskers, wondering what Moondance would think of him if she saw him now.
Wait... had Smokefur meant how he'd felt physically? Turning his mottled face in her direction, Hazepaw managed a more sheepish smile, weighty with recognition of his own folly. Whoops. He'd gone on about his feelings, when what she'd probably wanted was to know if he still kept falling asleep all the time... Hazepaw added in a smaller voice. "My, uh... condition, hasn't changed at all. I'm still falling asleep and can't help it." It was important that she knew the sleeping thing was completely out of his paws; he wasn't doing it on purpose, like how some warriors suspected he was, to get out of chores or something detestable like that.
He was more honorable than they thought! But without a proper way of proving it.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 13:34:19 GMT -5
As Hazepaw flashed the medicine cat a sheepish smile she felt a pang in her heart, she couldn't believe that he was sorry he had shared his feelings with her. It shouldn't have surprised her, he was a modest cat that was polite and tried to keep his problems to himself. This must have made his condition even worse, there was no way he couldn't burden the clan falling asleep at the most random times and he shared is problems with many cats. She believed him when he told her he couldn't help but fall asleep, she didn't think him lazy at all and it saddened her to know that it took it hard that so many of his clanmates didn't believe him. "I'm sorry to hear that." She said, happy to see him finishing the entire mouse before he began to groom himself. She was pleased that he wasn't letting himself go. She wanted to give him greater comfort than he was normally willing to accept, "You know I believe you, I don't think you can help it. I care about more than just your condition Haze..." She said cutting herself off before saying his full name as he expressed loneliness as an apprentice. Smokefur figured it stemmed from being the last of his siblings and original group of apprentices he came in with without a name. "You know I don't care if you share with me, I want you to talk to me about anything that bothers you." She prodded him with a paw trying to get him to loosen up, "So talk..."
Fawn
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Post by Fawn on Feb 14, 2015 19:41:53 GMT -5
HAZEPAW 18 Moons || NightClan || Tom || Narcoleptic
Hazepaw turned his dismayed greenish-blue gaze upon the comforting, silvery form of Smokefur, feeling his heart clench a little in his chest as she literally prodded him into opening up. Okay, here goes... There had been a lot on the young tom's mind - his delayed training and his condition were the biggest stresses in his life, especially since one was the cause of the other. That sensation of being helplessly behind the others, tagging along like an extra mouth to feed that no one wanted around, was like a malaise he couldn't quite shake, it was wrecking the self-confidence of a tom who had once been so optimistic. "I'm...I'm..." Bile rose up in the back of his throat, threatening to make him choke on his own frustration. "I'm a burden to the Clan, ever since I got back." Blurted Hazepaw, the fur on his shoulders bristling with a mixture of self-dislike and desperation. He hadn't chosen to be born with this condition, and he didn't blame StarClan for his inability to stay awake - it was just... something that he had.
Surely, if it had been a gift rather than a curse from his ancestors, he would've noticed the perks by now. As far as Hazepaw could tell, there was nothing beneficial about his condition at all - it was as if he were being punished, more than anything. Why hadn't he been born normal like his siblings? Apparently being a tortoiseshell tom was also an unusual occurrence. Great StarClan - had he been hit with every recessive trait his genealogy possessed? The only thing he was missing, were the bi-colored eyes his half-brother Blackwolf sported with great pride, then he'd truly be one of NightClan's oddest cats - a title of which he wanted absolutely nothing to do with.
The fact that he was a tortoiseshell didn't bother him in the slightest, it was just a coat pattern, and it wasn't painful or unpleasant to look at; it was just who he was. But the falling asleep thing... He'd give anything to change that about himself. Anything. "I don't want to be, I want to be the kind of Clanmate NightClan can be proud to have, but I don't know how to do that..." Hazepaw's ears flattened, and he sighed again, the bristled fur along his shoulders and back flattening as if they too had lost the urge to spike with self loathing. Being alone in the mountains for the past 3 moons had left him with a lot of time to think, a lot of introspection; having only himself to take care of, his condition hadn't been this horrible debilitating thing. However, after a few long days back safe and sound with NightClan, he began to finally catch on to just how much of an unintentional nuisance his condition made him. It was... embarrassing. @poptart
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2015 12:42:46 GMT -5
Smokefur had done well at guessing how he was feeling about his time as an apprentice, and as she wasn’t caught off guard it was easy to formulate her response. Even bearing his heart he wasn’t a complainer, he kept his explanation short and sweet and she appreciated that attitude. The medicine cat responded quickly, “I am proud of you, I know that probably isn’t what you are looking for…” It was such a generic feel good statement, in all honesty if it had come from anyone else it would have been laced with pity. Smokefur however didn’t pity Hazepaw, he had refused to succumb to his illness and was determined to rise above it. “You have a great attitude, and I am proud that even when your life is being adversely affected you still think of your clanmates first.” She was distraught however that just these kind words and thoughts were not nearly enough to fix his predicament. She had to help him rest his uneasy mind, and the easiest way she could think to do it was to change his perspective. “I am not a warrior, but I still manage to be of use to Nightclan. Perhaps instead of trying to force something that doesn’t fit you should play to your strengths instead of your weaknesses?” She didn’t know if he thought he had any ‘strengths’ as it were, but she hoped in all his time alive he had found at least one thing he thought he was good at. To her it didn’t matter if it was useful to the clan, she would do her best to make it useful if it meant easing Hazepaws’ mental pain. Fawn
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Post by Fawn on Feb 21, 2015 11:54:46 GMT -5
HAZEPAW 18 Moons || NightClan || Tom || Narcoleptic
It was... unexpected, this sort of compassion and understanding, this soft-spoken let-me-pick-you-up-and-brush-off-your-shoulders tone and demeanor Smokefur had taken; Hazepaw managed to smile at her, feeling warmed, his spirits starting to thaw a little after the icy blast of embarrassment and self-pity had frozen them. Play to my strengths? The tortoiseshell tom was clearly giving this some serious thought, the dark tufted tip of his tail gently rose and fell as though in time with his contemplation, the unseen cogs and gears whirring, trying to find something he was good at... Moondance was an incredible hunter. Sunpulse could rhyme easier than most cats could walk (not to mention he was a great hunter too), Strawberryfrost was a force to be reckoned with in battle, Brightfeather was quick and nimble, and Darkblaze wasn't to be underestimated.
But what did he, Hazepaw, do better than other cats? Sleep. Said a voice in his head, and a shard of dejection pierced his heart, Hazepaw struggling to suppress those negative thoughts, not wanting to succumb to his own pessimism; here was Smokefur trying to help, and here he was thinking up only lousy answers. "I don't know, I don't think I have any," Hazepaw confessed, shuffling his paws again under the intense glare of his own incompetence. How had that happened? How had, in his many moons within the apprentices' den and padding after Nettlefur, not gained a single skill? Would Smokefur be willing to help him find out what that was? Though he couldn't ask that of her, she was the medicine cat, for StarClan's sake; this visit was already way more attention than he probably deserved from someone who was so important to the Clan, she must've been busy, and he didn't want to waste her valuable time helping him do a little soul-searching. He could hunt, sure, or rather, he could lie in wait as Sunpulse chased the prey towards him (they had both figured out that lots of running and movement tended to trigger Hazepaw's condition much faster, so having Hazepaw deliver the final pounce and kill-bite was a method that worked best), where he would then come out of hiding to finish it off. A flick of distaste appeared in Hazepaw's eyes; he was not going to say he was good at killing prey. That was not a skill.
Taking a life was not a talent to be bragged about. @poptart
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2015 19:53:25 GMT -5
It was obvious to Smokefur that there was a large amount of thought rushing through Hazepaws' head in an incredibly short time frame. The medicine cat received a smile after a moment of silence and she felt a warm feeling deep inside her as a quiet rumble emanated from her chest. It was quickly cut short however as she watched him collapse on himself as he had so many times before, his smile gone replaced by a glare at his paws caused her own smile and purr to disappear instantly. Smokefur was saddened by how quickly he declared he didn't have any skills, this was going to be quite a long process she feared. If he didn't start to change how he felt about himself he may never get better, and that was something the medicine cat couldn't allow. "You are quick to get yourself down, let's start with that then..." She said moving a bit closer, brushing her fur with his own. "You have to forgive yourself for all of this, it most certainly isn't your fault." She had to stop the self blame, as it would only hurt his chances of finally being a warrior. "You have to stop being your own enemy, it is just holding you back." She gave him a nudge on the shoulder, "It's alright if you aren't sure what you are good at... I am more than happy to work out it together."
Fawn
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Post by Fawn on Feb 23, 2015 9:27:16 GMT -5
HAZEPAW 18 Moons || NightClan || Tom || Narcoleptic
The soft brush of Smokefur's pelt against his was comforting, and he was instantly reminded of his mother, the sense of calmness that eased it's way into his heart was the same. "Thanks for helping me so much, Smokefur," mewed Hazepaw, honest and appreciative. "You don't have to do that, I know you must be--" As though someone had thrown him a vine with which to pull himself up and out of the muck, it dawned on Hazepaw that there was something he could do to help his Clan, and it wouldn't require large amounts of stamina or any kind of running. It was leisurely, and while it would take him all over NightClan's territory, Hazepaw was more than happy to walk alongside Smokefur and Featherpaw for a whole day.
"Can I come with you the next time you collect herbs? I can help carry some back." She wouldn't turn him down, would she? I can do this much, at least! Eager to prove himself, Hazepaw watched her intently for even the slightest sign of allowance. Yes she technically had a medicine cat apprentice, but NightClan's territory was large, and, Hazepaw feared, this could be the only thing he could successfully help with that wouldn't potentially frustrate or harm other cats. Could I be a medicine cat apprentice? The tortoiseshell tom entertained the thought for a little while, realizing sheepishly that no Clan would want a healer who couldn't even cure his own sleep disorder; that, and an image of Moondance briefly crossed his mind, making him flush beneath his multicolored pelt. Besides, he loved being Nettlefur's apprentice, he loved, for all of NightClan's flaws, the sense of unity between his Clanmates.
No, he wasn't always included in that sense of unity, but that wasn't really anycat's fault; it was hard to be a part of something if you slept through ceremonies, slept through training, and slept through battles. He wanted to be a part of the Clan, truly a part of it, he wanted Moondance to acknowledge him, he wanted his parents to be proud of him and to not need so much attention from his siblings. He completely understood their fears concerning him getting into trouble again, and while the mottled tom hadn't minded too much before, after a few weeks, it was starting to get... smothering. Smothered was not the descriptive term he wanted his warriorhood to be described with. Capable. Now THAT was a great word. ---- Word Count: 410 Words Tags: @poptart
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2015 15:56:51 GMT -5
Smokefur was glad her empathetic techniques were working on Hazepaw, she always felt bad thinking of her actions this way though. Her concern for Hazepaw was genuine of course, and she sincerely wanted him to be happy as well but she would never disclose that all of her actions were carefully planned. She didn't think it mattered if she was moving in the moment or making carefully calculated decision, however Smokefur feared other cat's would think her manipulative if they knew the extent she planned her encounters. Even if this were true she certainly thought the ends justified the means as Hazepaw seemed to come around fairly well, so there was no question in her mind that it was worth it. The soft purr from early began to rumble in her chest, she had the same thought before she had even approached him in the apprentices den. There wasn't room for her to take another apprentice, and there was no saying Hazepaw even wanted to be a medicine cat; however that didn't mean he couldn't help them do their duties. Smokefur was glad she hadn't had to bring the idea up, it must have felt so much better to have made the suggestion himself. It must have seemed like a good idea to him as well, as he had an eagerness in his eyes that would have made it impossible to say no even if she had wanted to. "Of course you can help us." She added with smile, hoping for at least a little while his spirits would be soaring. "You can do more than help us carry supplies back if you are interested, there is always work that needs to be done."
Fawn
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Post by Fawn on Feb 28, 2015 22:50:14 GMT -5
HAZEPAW 18 Moons || NightClan || Tom || Narcoleptic
Relief crashed over him like a wave, and Hazepaw dipped his head in gratitude. "Great, thank you Smokefur. Just tell me what you and Featherpaw need, I'll do my best to get it." Or help carry anything, and I can even help with treating other cats, if that's okay. He wasn't trying to steal Featherpaw's job away from her, not at all, but Hazepaw wasn't going to do a sloppy job of helping out Smokefur either. He wanted badly to prove to the Clan that he was worth keeping, that his return from the mountains had been a good thing, not the unwelcome arrival of a useless nuisance.
Before the young tom could express his gratitude further, he heard the distinctive voice of Slatenose calling him to go on a border patrol; heartened, and while he knew he'd probably fall asleep (though the rather sedate pace of border patrols kept this to a minimal occurrence, if it happened at all), he was determined to make up for it later by helping out the Clan's healers. "I'll see you later Smokefur, come get me whenever you go herb collecting, please. Goodbye!" Not wanting to keep Slatenose waiting, Hazepaw gave Smokefur another polite nod and scrambled out of the apprentices' den, worried that if he didn't hurry up and meet with the other cats assigned on patrol, Slatenose would suspect him of sleeping and leave without him. I'm here! And I'm here to stay.
@poptart Word Count: 231 Words Notes: <3 End Thread
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