[Insidious]

C R I M S O N S H A D O W

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He paced within the sacred territory known as StarClan’s Claws, TreeClan’s scent still heavy on his fur. Anyone that passed by would assume that such meant he had a Clan to return to, but that was no longer the case. He had informed Lionstar of the decision that he had been pondering lately, and then fled TreeClan’s land for the last time, in the hopes that he’d never have to look back. He didn’t want to be a part of TreeClan anymore. He couldn’t live alongside a group of cats that he knew he had so heavily wronged. There was no way of knowing for sure that something better waited for him in StoneClan. He could very well have just talked his way into the life of a loner, and the very thought of such a lifestyle sent a chill down the length of his spine.

Somewhere out there, Grayowl was still alive. He wouldn’t be able to properly breathe if he had to roam the same lands as him. If their paths crossed, Crimsonshadow wouldn’t be able to take cover in TreeClan. Right now, he was completely alone. Nobody would be able to save him from the charcoal demon’s wrath.

And then he would die.

Burying the thought of meeting his end at the claws of someone he had once looked up to, and then suddenly disturbed by the fact that he had once looked up to him, Crimsonshadow turned his focus back onto pacing. He wasn’t so mousebrained as to cross into territories in which he wasn’t welcome to increase his chances of running into a StoneClan cat. He’d have to make due with biding his time here, at StarClan’s Claws, until he got lucky enough to meet someone from StoneClan that would be willing to take him back with them to meet with Hawkstar. He was still trying to piece together what he’d say when he came face-to-face with the leader of StoneClan. Right now, his focus was on finding someone to bring him to Hawkstar in the first place. Until that happened, well…

He wasn’t sure what would happen next.

Would he live the fulfilling life of a warrior that he never could in TreeClan? Would he earn Cloudpaw’s forgiveness, earn back her trust, and perhaps start a family with the she-cat he loved?

He could feel his life spinning out of control, and he had no idea how to stop it. There was so many wrongs that he didn’t know if he had the power to right. He was taking so many chances without knowing if they could benefit him in the end. He had thrown away the home that he had in TreeClan without the promise that he had a spot waiting for him in StoneClan. He was making decisions rashly, and hoping for nothing more than a little bit of luck to be on his side.

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Tags: BlooRey DVD , Amber
Word Count: 519.

[BlooRey DVD]

[smear:996600]Hawkstar[/smear:663300]

~~~~~~~~~

The broad-shouldered tom maneuvered StoneClan's territory with ease. His large paws were sure with every step he took, confidence radiating from him as he moved. This was what he loved, just moving through the territory, through his home. Pale amber eyes flicked down to the ground for an instant as he leapt between two rocks with a gaping hole between them. He paused for only a moment to ensure that the rest of his patrol was following just as easily. He had no doubts they would be, but it was always a good thing to double check.

With a nod to his deputy, Wolfclaw, the StoneClan leader continued on his way. He had no issue leaving the Clan without a leader or a deputy. Every time he did so, he left Eagletalon in charge. Hawkstar trusted Eagletalon with all of his lives. The other tom had never disappointed him to this point, and the StoneClan leader figured that this would never change. The group was moving along StoneClan's borders, ensuring that each one they encountered was well marked. It was as they neared their border with StarClan's Claws that Hawkstar picked up a scent. TreeClan...

Lifting his tail to signal for the patrol to stop, Hawkstar lifted his head and opened his jaws, drawing in the scents around him. There was definitely a strong TreeClan scent, and very close by. Too close to be the run off from TreeClan's territory. With a narrowing of his eyes, he glanced to Wolfclaw with a somber look that indicated they should approach carefully. He could only pick out one scent, but that didn't mean there weren't any hidden cats waiting to strike while they were distracted by the lone tom sitting in StarClan's Claws. Normally, Hawkstar would have continued on. But the TreeClanner was sitting very near to StoneClan's border.

Pushing forward and into the TreeClan tom's line of sight, the StoneClan leader kept his head high, pale amber eyes considering the situation at paw. With a glance over his shoulder, he spoke in a low voice. "Wolfclaw, hang back will you? Something tells me that this tom wishes to speak with me. I will call if help is needed. You have my permission to remain in earshot." And with that, the large framed, sandy brown tabby closed the distance that separated him and the stranger who sat just within StarClan's Claws.

When he felt as though he were close enough to be within a conversational range, the big tom spoke up. "Being in such close proximity to StoneClan's border, I would assume that you were waiting for something, or perhaps someone. Perhaps I might be of assistance to you? I invite you to speak, but please, begin first with your name. TreeClanner just seems... Terribly impolite." Offering a slight grin, Hawkstar pulled himself to a stop, slowly lowering his haunches to the ground as he waited for an answer. He didn't introduce himself, figuring that the tom more than likely knew who he was from previous gatherings

[Deleted]

and all the saints we see are all made of gold

---

He followed Hawkstar quietly, matching the leader's pace with a similar ease. Looking at size alone, the pair could have been twins, but their colors and bloodlines were very different. Leader and deputy were a formidible pair, large, powerful cats, yet both gentle giants.

Muscles contracted and released as he followed Hawkstar over the gap in the rocks, looking back over his shoulder. The ground evened out as they drew closer to StarClan's Claws, and the scent of TreeClan drifted to his nose. Hawkstar signalled them to stop, and Wolfclaw met his leader's gaze, head tilting slightly in a nod of understanding.

He stepped forward with Hawkstar, tail signalling the rest of the patrol to stay. They came into view of the foreign cat, and Hawkstar spoke. "Wolfclaw, hang back will you? Something tells me that this tom wishes to speak with me. I will call if help is needed. You have my permission to remain in earshot."

Wolfclaw nodded in response, holding his position as Hawkstar moved on. His dark ears remained pricked forward, alert, as he watched the exchange between Hawkstar and the TreeClan cat, yellow-green eyes fixed on the red and black cat.

---

W O L F C L A W

[Insidious]

C R I M S O N S H A D O W

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Had it been nothing more than providence behind the arrival of the one cat he had wished to speak with? It seemed unlikely, if not a tad unbelievable, that Hawkstar of all the felines in the forest would be among the first to find him. He was not so shocked as to stare up at the leader with clouded eyes - though he did do as much for a handful of seconds - wishing him away so that he could have more time to think over what he wanted to say. In the shadows, he was aware of the StoneClan deputy’s presence. Said tomcat was within earshot, which did its part of making Crimsonshadow ten times more uncomfortable, feeling the weight of the deputy’s yellow-green eyes on him as he conversed with the StoneClan leader. The former TreeClanner pulled his gaze away from the shrubbery, attempting to swallow back his distress and offer his name as was requested. “Crimsonshadow.” The fact that the StoneClan leader had been willing to offer him a small smile had washed away some of Crimsonshadow’s sense of hopelessness, but with his name thrown out there, he was no longer certain of how Hawkstar would look at him - would he still be willing to smile?

When Thornstrike had brought news of Grayowl to StoneClan, had he mentioned the exiled tomcat’s little puppet, too? Had Cloudfall went running back to her Clan to tell her leader of a TreeClanner’s treachery? Did he know that he so happened to be the same cat that had nearly taken the life of one of his warriors?

If so, he could probably wish his chances of getting into StoneClan goodbye, but he’d at least be able to make a few late apologies that he could practically picture the leader and deputy spitting back into his face as he retreated.

Because, really, how did you say you’re sorry about something like that?

“You’re right: I was waiting for someone. You, actually.” The red, black spotted warrior shuffled his paws in the dirt, memories of his life in TreeClan flashing through his eyes - a life he could no longer say with certainty was his. He didn’t feel like the cat that lived that life anymore. All of that time spent with Grayowl seemed like it had been nothing more than a bad dream. His time spent with Cloudfall, however… that was him. That was what he liked to think his life really was. Every moment they spent together, up until he had managed to ruin everything, had been borderline perfect. If he could restore all of that, then he may as well be the luckiest cat to ever live. “I might smell like a TreeClanner to you, and I’m not saying you’re wrong in making that assumption - I was a TreeClan cat, but I’m not anymore… I left.”

“I don’t expect that you’d just gladly invite me into your borders and call me a StoneClan warrior, but ultimately, I’m looking for the chance to prove to you, and your Clan, that that’s what I want to be now.” It felt awkward to hold the leader’s golden eyes, curious of what thoughts could possibly be running through his mind. Even if Hawkstar didn’t recognize him, he still deserved to know a few things about the cat that he’d potentially be letting into his Clan. Grayowl was a part of his life, yes - but a part that he wanted to put behind him forever. “I assume that Thornstrike came to StoneClan’s borders recently?” A pause. “If so, then you’ve likely heard about Grayowl, and about how he was banished from TreeClan for treacherous behaviour?” He didn’t know how to explain this without sounding dangerous. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to bring it up. “There was a time when I had looked up to him, and even planned to follow in his footsteps. I only tell you this so that you do not find out later, and assume the worst of who I am and, thus, regret the decision you may or may not make. I have done… terrible things to try to impress him - tried to do even more terrible things. However, I stand here now knowing fully well how wrong all of it was. I’m not like that anymore, and I hope with all of my heart to never be again.” Hawkstar didn’t have to believe him, and if he didn’t, maybe one day Lionstar would be able to tell him how true it was - even Gorsetail, or Sunstride. All three of them had seemed saddened by his decision to depart in one way or another, despite every awful thing he had done to them in the past. That had been exactly the kind of thing he needed to see in order to have some hope in this crazy, unthinkable idea that he could be redeemed. There was no way of expressing how thankful he was that Grayowl hadn’t completely ruined him; he hadn’t completely blackened that mousebrained, foul heart of his. He could change.

He could be better again if Hawkstar would only let Crimsonshadow show it to him.

“I’ve taken responsibility for my wrongdoings in TreeClan. I did not leave in a manner similar to Grayowl. It was of my own choosing, for I sincerely believe - hope - that StoneClan can give to me what I desperately think it can.” Love.

- - - - - -

Tags: BlooRey DVD , Amber
Word Count: 945.

[BlooRey DVD]

[smear:996600]Hawkstar[/smear:663300]

~~~~~~~~~

When the tom before him finally released his name, the StoneClan leader dipped his head in a form of greeting. His sandy-colored tail flicked slightly as he settled into a sit, tail curling over large paws. He could almost see it in Crimsonshadow's eyes. The explanation for his appearance at StoneClan's border would not be a short one. Ears pricked, the big tom was ready to listen to whatever the black and red warrior might have to say. As expected, the tom admitted he'd been searching for Hawkstar. Giving a nod to encourage him to continue, Hawkstar waited for the following confession.

Intrigue pricked the tom's fur as Crimsonshadow admitted to leaving TreeClan. Having heard of a tom being banished from TreeClan, the StoneClan tom couldn't help but wonder if Crimsonshadow had been banished, or had really left on his own free will. Tail tip curling slightly, he dismissed the thought, recalling the name of the banished tom to be Grayowl. And then came the purpose of the visit. Another wishing to become StoneClan... Remembering the day Hawkpaw, now Hawkfall, had come to join StoneClan, the tom's pale eyes closed for a moment. Hawkfall had proved to be a valuable asset, and a proud StoneClan warrior. But could he just keep accepting cats into StoneClan? What would the other Clans think? What would StoneClan think?

That amber gaze was soon upon Crimsonshadow once more as Grayowl and his treachery were mentioned. Giving a nod to show that Thornstrike had indeed warned them of the ex-TreeClanner, he waited for the story to continue. And when it did, the StoneClan tom couldn't help but frown slightly. There was no judgment in his eyes as he watched the former TreeClanner, his tail swishing pensively, rising off of his paws.

When Crimsonshadow finished, the StoneClan leader took a deep breath, letting his pale eyes close again. When he began speaking, he spoke slowly, as though he was thinking about every word before letting the younger tom hear it. "As I am sure you expected, Crimsonshadow, I have my hesitations. Do not assume that my hesitation is a reflection of any judgement I have made towards you." It was here that he allowed his eyes to open once more, focusing on Crimsonshadow and meeting his eyes steadily. He was silent for a moment, before continuing. "And this is not a decision I will allow myself to make on my own."

Glancing over his shoulder, he waved Wolfclaw forward with his tail. Waiting for the large, StoneClan deputy to settle at his side, he went on. "I assume you overheard everything, and know that Crimsonshadow here comes to us from TreeClan, wishing to join StoneClan." Turning back to Crimsonshadow, he let his tail flick from one side to the other before carrying on. "Should the decision be made to allow you to join, it must be said that it will not be easy. Certain events have drawn us closer to one another, and made us wary of others."

There was another sideways glance at Wolfclaw. "However, I promised myself that I would never blindly turn away anyone who came forth wishing to join StoneClan. The honesty with which you revealed your connection to Grayowl, and the... Questionable nature of some previous actions is greatly appreciated. Even though you knew it would make us wary, you chose to tell us anyway. This makes me more... Inclined to believe you when you tell me you have changed." He paused here, the decision seeming to weigh heavily on him as he slowly shifted his own weight from the left to the right.

"It is for this that I will say... If Wolfclaw agrees with my decision, and if you can provide me with a reason behind your choice of StoneClan rather than any of the other Clans, then I will allow you a period to prove your loyalty to StoneClan. However, during this period, you are to be accompanied by a StoneClan warrior at all times. I apologize for the similarities to an apprentice that I am forcing upon you, but you must understand the reason behind these precautions. They are for your benefit as well as StoneClan's. Our territory is far different than yours, and there is much for you to learn. At the same time, it might ease other StoneClanners to your presence, knowing that you are being watched by one of them."

Another pause. "If you have concerns over any elements of this arrangement, now is the time to voice them. Otherwise, Wolfclaw, what are your thoughts? Concerns, perhaps?"

[Deleted]

Wolfclaw listened as the two toms spoke, his green-gold eyes never leaving the former TreeClanner. As he - Crimsonshadow - spoke of Grayowl, Wolfclaw's ears twitched back ever so slightly. He thought of what sort of 'terrible things' the spotted tom might have done to impress an exiled warrior, but he would have to be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

At Hawkstar's signal, the silver and black deputy padded over, remaining on his paws as he reached Hawkstar's side. His gaze left Crimsonshadow long enough to nod to Hawkstar, indicating that he had heard everything and understood the situation. Hawkstar continued, and Wolfclaw returned his eyes to Crimsonshadow.

"If you have concerns over any elements of this arrangement, now is the time to voice them. Otherwise, Wolfclaw, what are your thoughts? Concerns, perhaps?"

It was Wolfclaw's turn to close his eyes in thought. He inhaled and swung his tail slowly, knowing his decisions. His eyes opened and he turned his gaze to Hawkstar, then Crimsonshadow, as he spoke. "I agree with Hawkstar. If you can provide reason enough as to why you chose us over the other Clans, then I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Though I am less than happy to know of your.. previous endeavors, I too appreciate the honesty. And, should you return to StoneClan with us today, I will take it upon myself to personally accompany you until we feel your loyalty has been proven."

Though he trusted all of StoneClan's warriors, felt more comfortable knowing that, should something were to go awry, he wouldn't be putting anyone in any unneccessary danger. Yes, he would give the young tom a chance to prove himself, but it would take more than a few petty words to convince Wolfclaw of his change in heart.

[Insidious]

C R I M S O N S H A D O W

- - - - - -

He was being considered. Despite what he had done, and what little of him deserved this chance for redemption, for betterment, the good inside of him that had been grossly mutilated and deeply disfigured was being spied upon and, once more, given an opportunity to thrive. The light in his eyes was brighter than the sun’s sharp rays, confidence renewed, even if becoming a part of StoneClan and, hopefully, a part of Cloudfall’s heart meant he had to endure being treated like an apprentice. Sparing himself a moment to analyze Wolfclaw, then, he inwardly shuddered at the thought of having his every move carefully calculated by the oddly coloured cat. Perhaps it would do him some good, and make his first days in StoneClan easier, what with a respected member of the clan’s hierarchy always lurking in his shadow and keeping him out of trouble. He had left the part of him that had been so deeply invested in Grayowl behind, but that didn’t mean that he was suddenly fixed or that he was suddenly someone else entirely. He couldn’t expect StoneClan’s leader and deputy to immediately trust him, taking his word at face value, when he was hardly certain of whether or not he could trust himself.

Politely dipping his head, emerald eyes shining, he prepared his next words. “I chose StoneClan above any other because I have . . . taken a liking to one of your warriors. She means more to me than anything I had left in TreeClan.” He purposefully avoided offering the she-cat’s name, unsure of his bravery. He didn’t know if Cloudfall had confided his attempted murder in either of these two cats, though he’d admittedly be surprised if she had kept it to herself. She deserved better than someone like him, who could only realize his feelings after it was too late. He had tried to hurt her, he had wanted to, but in the end it was him who had taken the most damage when she had looked into his eyes and saw more of a monster than a lover. He craved the opportunity to reverse time, but naive wishes like that were futile and childish. He’d take responsibility for what he had almost done to her, and then he’d accept her wishes for whatever they were: if she never wanted to see him again, then he’d plead an apology to Hawkstar and Wolfclaw for wasting their time, leave StoneClan, and try his best to never look back. It was true that the weight of his loyalty to StoneClan rested on the pretty she-cat’s shoulders, and perhaps that would never be enough, but anyone who took a moment to see the way his expression softened when he thought of her, when he recalled the memorized details of her face, would know from then on that his loyalty would be powerful. “I also understand your conditions, and find them completely reasonable - ” he paused, eyes cautiously averting to Wolfclaw, “ - I won’t complain of being shadowed. It will take some time for the clan to get used to my presence, this I know, and if having you nearby will make everyone more comfortable then I’ll be more than happy to oblige until I can be trusted.”

There was no denying that he appreciated their consideration. Each of them looked to him with a relative element of hesitancy, but he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t be doing the same, had their roles been reversed. He was an outsider, and an outsider with quite a treacherous past. Thinking about it, he wasn’t sure if, as leader or deputy of StoneClan, he would have been benevolent enough to give someone like him the benefit of the doubt. He wouldn’t have given someone like him so much as a second glance, because someone like him was vile and born of tattered morals - and had unknowingly intended to inflict harm upon one of their own for the sake of impressing a disturbed exile. He supposed, now, hanging from nothing more than the pair’s willingness to give him a chance, he was short of being a disturbed exile himself. He could have just as easily left TreeClan because of Lionstar’s wrath, had he not taken it upon himself to make amends. He had done a lot wrong in his life, but at least he was trying to make a difference. He was trying. For something that didn’t seem like a lot, it certainly was.

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Tags: BlooRey DVD , Amber
Word Count: 740.