[Hellion]

Gullpaw

---

In light of his mother's death, Gullpaw was recovering slowly to a more 'normal' way of life. He himself barely escaped the sickness and spent sometime in Swanfeather's den until he was again given the clean bill of health and sent on his way just in time to be given to a cat to be mentored. The entire ordeal was a blur to the tom cat that had gained a new rank and lost a family member. His pale green eyes were often clouded in grief but slowly he was pulling himself out of it but it had affected his training. It was rather kind of his mentor not to push the young tom but in his heart Gullpaw knew it was time to move on and actually get some training started.

Rising up from his place of sadness within the apprentice den, the silver cat groomed his long pelt with a few rapid licks before looking out to the camp centre. His mother should be there waiting to give him a warm nuzzle before he departed on his training but if that was the case Gullpaw would have been more eager to greet the day. With a sigh he exited the apprentice den and caught the eye of a few warriors who pitied the apprentice and gave him awkward smiles in sad attempts to comfort him. Forming the words in his mouth he looked for his mentor but didn't catch the glimpse of her pelt so instead he turned to a passing warrior. "Have you seen Rippletail? I need to talk to her." He was polite with his words and waited for replies as he repeated himself, seeking out his mentor to perhaps get some help in over coming his grief.

---

Loose ends, they tangle down
And then take flight
But never tie me down

Word Count:: ---
Tag::@lacihparg
Notes:: ---

[Deleted]

but all the stars that separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

She woke up to his voice fading from her ears. The silence of the warriors den settled over her, and she remembered that she was in RainClan camp, many, many moons away from their reunion. Fishtail plagued her more often after the deaths of leaf-bare, the pain of many cats reopening the wounds she had slowly been healing. Standing up daintily to avoid the other sleeping figures, Rippletail stretched long to shake the dream from her memory. A passing warrior greeted her as she exited the den, informing her that Gullpaw was looking for her. Oh yeah. I have an apprentice.

Exiting the warm den, sunshine flooded the warrior's vision and she went temporarily blind. As her eyes readjusted, she noticed the silver cat waiting for her. Ignoring him for the moment, she stole a glance at the freshkill pile. Her tail perked up and she trotted to the pile, noticing that it seemed fuller than usual. Selecting two fish, she returned to where her apprentice sat.

Tail flicking, she motioned for him to follow her. A corner of camp laid in shadows, waiting for them to dine. Dropping the fish, Rippletail glanced over at the young tom in front of him. His mother's death had hit him hard; that much she figured out. Space had been the only thing she could give him, so she did. But, as she knew from experience, sometimes routine could be the best remedy of all.

"How are you feeling?" she asked around a mouthful of fish. She supposed they could go check a border or do some battle training, but something told her that Gullpaw wanted to talk and her to listen. Listening was something she could do.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

rippletail;; warrior ;; rainclan

heli: gullpaw ;; tag
283 ;; wordcount
rippletail is a big girl now ;; notes
3 Doors Down - Here Without You [edited] ;; lyrics

[Hellion]

Gullpaw

---

His attention was taken by his mentor as he caught her scent within the camp. At first he grew uneasy as she exited the warrior's den, what if she wasn't in the mood to train him? Did she see him as a failure for allowing his grief to overpower his desire to train. Conflict flickered over his pale eyes as he watched her. He wanted to call out to her and ask for her to train him, making him a warrior but he couldn't frame the words and just took a step back. Yet something was happening, instead of picking just one fish she grabbed two and without hesitation motioned for him to follow her. He opened is mouth to protest but closed it quickly, is stomach growled and then he realized just how hungry he was and so he followed.

The fish was given to him at his paws and without second guessing anything he devoured about half of the fish before his realized Rippletail had asked him a question and that sadness flooded back and suddenly he wasn't hungry any more. Carefully he nudged the fish out from in front of him and sat up a little, tail curling around his left side to comfort him. Did she want the truth? Would his mentor really want to know how sad he truly was? How when ever he passes by his father or older sister he feels sick. That walking past the nursery where she spent her final days had made him want to crawl in a hole. Twice he had caught the gaze of Swanfeather the medicine cat, she was polite and gave him a nod but did she know how betrayed he felt? Would Rippletail care to know that the young Gullpaw often lays awake in his nest until early day break because he can't sleep. Most of his life was spent around the brown she-cat he loved but with her death and his own sickness he never got to see her in all her beauty like his father talked about. The image of his mother he can muster easily is her sick beside him in the nursery and later dead in the middle of camp. He hates the fact that those are the only memories he has of his mother, but he didn't know that Rippletial would want to know that so he offered her up a more accepted answer.

"I've been worse." What a sad but honest truth.

---

Loose ends, they tangle down
And then take flight
But never tie me down

Word Count:: 433
Tag::@lacihparg
Notes:: ---

[Deleted]

but all the stars that separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"I've been worse."

Rippletail almost snorted at the words that came from her apprentice's mouth. She spoke those herself, moons ago, but they had been a lie. She had never been worse than in those moons after his death. But she had slowly climbed out the hole she found herself in, and she had been able to use this pain to help others.

Now it was time to help Gullpaw.

She looked at him quizzically, trying to see what he was feeling. Finally, she posed a question.

"What are you ready for?" It was an open-ended question, one she wished had been asked of her. She would have said that she was ready to die, to go join him in the stars. She would have said that she wasn't ready to be a warrior, that he was the brave one and not her. She would have said that she wasn't ready for any of this -- not ready to lose her best friend, not ready to move up, not ready to fight.

But she couldn't have done those things, could she? Warriors were expected to give their life for their Clan, and Fishtail had done just that. She couldn't dishonor him by ignoring his last words. "Become a warrior for the two of us," he had said, and made her promise to follow through with that. Had they asked her what she was ready for, she would have reached that conclusion later, not now, sitting across from a lost young apprentice.

Rippletail sighed, but waited for Gullpaw's response. Whatever she had lost by grieving for too long, she could help Gullpaw through. He was her responsibility as a mentor, and perhaps they had been placed together because of her history. She would do everything in her power to help Gullpaw realize that he could go on, and that he had to go on.

Difficult, but necessary. Very necessary.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

rippletail;; warrior ;; rainclan

heli: gullpaw ;; tag
327 ;; wordcount
fill in ;; notes
3 Doors Down - Here Without You [edited] ;; lyrics

[Hellion]

Gullpaw

---

He watched her, waited for her to be upset with him. Grief was a natural part of life but allowing it to consume him wasn't and the more he sat there in the warmth of the day and the light breeze the brought all sorts of wonderful scents across his nose he realized just how far behind he truly was. He knew next to nothing about his mentor and wasn't sure if this allowance to wallow was given out of mutual understanding or unwillingness to be his mentor. Gullpaw knew of his mother's first Clan and sometimes he felt that dung hung to his pelt when he younger and talked about as if he was a problem. It was true he was the second litter born to the ill-matched pair but e wasn't immune to the torments but most were hushed up quickly as his mother protected him in those early days before the sickness. For all he knew Rippletail was one of those cats, the question of her motive floated in his head and his ears flicked back and forth for a second.

A question caught in his throat as he wanted to ask her, be blunt about the situation and maybe gain and understanding for each other but her question was given before his fully formed. Twitching his nose he wasn't sure how to reply and the question quickly took over his train of thought. What was he ready for? He wanted to say he was ready to become a warrior, that was the first answer he came up with but was it true? At this moment he wasn't sure but he knew that was the answer he was expected to give.

With his mouth kept shut he looked over his mentor again, before turning to look toward the camp entrance, a fellow apprentice exited the camp right behind their mentor, while it wasn't fair to compare one's sorrow to other cat's, he couldn't help but envy his den-mate even for a second. Returning his attention back to Rippletail he cleared his throat before answering her with the best response he could come up with.

"I'm ready to be a warrior but I'm not sure if I'm really ready or I'm just tired of all this dung that has been given to me by StarClan. He paused for a moment, gaining courage in his rant before going off again. I'm tired of being sad because she is gone, but I'm not sure I'm ready to face training yet, I still feel I've been cheated. It's not fair she was taken." He spat out those last few words as he caught his mentor's gazze, a swirl of emotion raged in his pale green eyes. Right now he was kit that needed comfort but at the same time he was half grown, he needed a steady paw one to guide and at the same time one to push. He needed a strong mentor.

---

Loose ends, they tangle down
And then take flight
But never tie me down

Word Count:: --
Tag::@lacihparg
Notes:: Could Ripple become a maternal figure to him? just in the early days of their raining.

[Deleted]

but all the farts that separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"I'm ready to be a warrior but I'm not sure if I'm really ready or I'm just tired of all this dung that has been given to me by S tarClan*. I'm tired of being sad because she is gone, but I'm not sure I'm ready to face training yet, I still feel I've been cheated. It's not fair she was taken."

Rippletail paused to mull over his words. Yes, that was fair, she decided. His emotions mirrored her own, really. But how to broach the subject? The warrior didn't doubt that Gullpaw could benefit from her own history. If anything, it could teach him exactly how to deal with grief. But still... she wasn't sure how she could tell him about Fishtail.

Looking back, it was easy to just give the details of his death and how she felt. He died, she was angry, but time passed and now she's better. That's what she would tell any other cat. That it was just a simple process of grieving, and that you move on. Truly, it wasn't so simple. She had a feeling even Gullpaw realized that.

"Gullpaw," she began, unsure of how -- or where -- to being. "I know you might not believe me, but I understand." Those little words were enough to fartt eroding the dam Rippletail had made to hold up her broken heart. "I, too, lost someone very dear to me. And while he wasn't my mother, he was my best friend." my only friend, she thought. "And to this day, it pains me."

She paused, then, waiting to see if Gullpaw would ask any questions. To prove how much Fishtail had meant to her, she had to tell him everything. Her mother, the other kits, and why Fishtail's companionship meant the world to her. She had to share with her apprentice, the broken, lost, and confused tom in front of her, why his mother had joined fartClan and why he stayed behind. He deserved an explanation.

It might as well be her who gave it him.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

rippletail;; warrior ;; rainclan

heli: gullpaw ;; tag
348 ;; wordcount
*to avoid the silly filter Sia placed on the site. also, maternal figure sound great since Ripple is about to meet her mate :3 ;; notes
3 Doors Down - Here Without You [edited] ;; lyrics

[Hellion]

His eyes were back on the ground but his ears were attentive and heard everywhere. He kept his ears turned forward but his eyes downcast letting her words wash over him. She attempted to him she felt this kind of sad and sick feeling and from the looks of his mentor she was doing alright. His tail flicked back and worth as he thought of something to say. Should he reply that he was grateful for her words? The tabby wanted to express to Rippletail that he wanted to learn from her and maybe learn more than just battle training. He felt like explaining her to that if she would help him over come his grief that he'd become a good warrior one to make both his mother and her proud.

Gullpaw's tail flicked a few times as he kept silent but he was thinking of the right thing to say and settled for a kind and soft spoken response. "I believe you." He finally said with his green eyes still on the ground. Feeling even more tongued now he knew that he'd ramble the next time he trained to explain how he felt and if there was anyone to ramble to it would be to his mentor.

"I know I can be a warrior, my mother was deputy of StoneClan at one point and that takes a strong warrior in itself. My father is a great warrior and as far as I can tell you are a good one too. I want to learn from you but I'm afraid that I'll fail my mother's memory and I don't want to do that." He trailed off after sometime and slowly raised his eyes to meet his mentor's. "I'd like to start training now if you'll let me. I think if I wait too long I will for sure ruin her memory." He added after a short while and with a great exhale.

[Deleted]

but all the stars that separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Rippletail looked at the younger cat in front of her and saw a reflection of herself at a younger time. Losing Fishtail had sent her whole world crumbling around her. She was supposed to have him by her side forever, but that wasn't what StarClan had in mind, so she didn't worry about it. The resolve Gullpaw held onto showed much of his character even now, and she was grateful.

"You sound like you're ready to start, Gullpaw. I wouldn't dream of holding you back when you're determined." She touched his shoulder briefly with her tail. "There is much you can learn from everyone around you. Even though I am your mentor, the other members of our Clan have much to teach you." That was true. Even as a warrior, she still learned from the cats who shared her den.

Speckledleaf had taught her much, as a friend, and Razorfang, too, to name a few. The entire Clan grew and thrived on each other, and it would do Gullpaw well to realize that. She felt some final words laid on her heart, however, and opened her mouth to let them flow freely. "Don't feel like you have to be the best to uphold your mother's memory. I know she would be proud of you no matter what. The most important thing is to contribute to your Clan somehow. Perhaps you're a better hunter than fighter, or maybe you will develop a gift for mentoring later down the road. The Clan needs each and every cat. We're all different, and these different strengths make the Clan stronger as a whole."

Yes, Rippletail decided, Gullpaw would do very well here.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

rippletail;; warrior ;; rainclan

heli: gullpaw ;; tag
281 ;; wordcount
a little on the low side tonight ;; notes
3 Doors Down - Here Without You [edited] ;; lyrics

[Hellion]

Loose ends, they tangle down

And then take flight But never tie me down

A weak smile broke over the tom as a sense of easiness worked over his tense shoulders and melted his tired heart a bit. Gullpaw's attention was fully on his mentor his ears directed forward to hear what she had to said and after her long winded speech, he bowed his head in gratitude. It was nice to know that Rippletail wouldn't hold him back in his training even if it seemed it was for the best, but he also made the choice to slightly ignore what she had said about his mother. Rippletail didn't know what it was like for him, it wasn't as hard as it was for his older siblings and for that he admired them. Still in the back of his mind he knew that he'd never be full RainClan and subject to judgement before he did anything, to uphold is mother's memory he'd need to be the most RainClan cat ever.

Flicking his tail a few times to ease his thoughts Gullpaw's green eyes shifted to look out toward the camp exit. "Can we start training now? Or maybe later today? I haven't done any chores if you'd like me to start doing those first" He offered up some ideas for things he could do in hopes he'd get something going, idle paws didn't suit him as well as he first thought.

words: amount • tagged: whoever •

♥

[Deleted]

but all the farts that separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Rippletail pondered her apprentice's suggestions, figuring he would be ready to go at any moment. Chores sound like a good idea, she thought. I need time to figure out something to do for training. She nodded, then, agreeing with what Gullpaw had said.

"Why don't you go look in on the elders and make sure their bedding is fresh," she meowed. "They'd probably appreciate some freshkill, as well." She stood then, indicating Gullpaw to join her. "After that, wait by your den and I'll come find you."

She padded away, contemplating the apprentice she had been given. Both had their world rocked by grief, and both had to struggle to find some sense of normalcy again. The world kept turning even after it felt like everything had came to a crashing halt. They just had to fight against the currents and keep swimming, like RainClan always did.

"Oh, Gullpaw," she called over her shoulder. "I'm going to teach you how to fish. Be ready!"

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

rippletail;; warrior ;; rainclan

heli: gullpaw ;; tag
164 ;; wordcount
i figured we could end the thread now and then i'd start a new one for the actual training, unless you wanted this one to just continue after an IC hiatus for gullpaw to do his chores ;; notes
3 Doors Down - Here Without You [edited] ;; lyrics