[Hellion]

Hawkfall

Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world.

He grew quickly uneasy being trapped inside of camp. The sickness that over took nearly all of his clanmates made him feel trapped, while he did fall ill for a short while the strong brown tom-cat didn't stay sick for long. The cold air was his welcomed friend for the better part of the past three moons but something was nagging him. It started out as a uncomfortable feeling in his stomach which progressed to a sick feeling that wasn't like greencough, no this was something in his chest that pained his heart. It was important to him to know how his family was, RainClan might not be his clan but his siblings that he loved still belonged there and it was important he knew how they were.

Now with new-leaf warm on his pelt the tom cat was going to seek out his family, he need to know if they were safe and just how badly they had been affected. Exiting camp with a nod to a passing warrior that didn't give two mouse tail's for his existence he directed his paws for the stone stream and picked up speed and nearly ran the entire distance.

The last time he talked to his mother he was still an apprentice and the fresh smell of nursery clung to her pelt, she had bore two more kits. Siblings that Hawkfall would never know unless they met in the battlefield or on patrol and while he always turned down to patrol near RainClan so his StoneClan wouldn't accuse him of distracted loyalty, he sometimes ventured to the border on his own in hopes of seeing his father or mother. It was true that life in StoneClan was hard but with Hawkstar as his former mentor things had became easier, he wouldn't trade it for all of StarClan's glory, he enjoyed living in StoneClan.

Feeling the cold stream on his paws he waited, tasting the air for anything that might be family or kin. Perhaps his new siblings were apprentices, maybe if they were lucky new warriors but if what all the other clans said was true it was very unlikely they were warriors because of the greencough. He paced back and forth along the border and tasted the air he wanted to see his mother or father, but he'd settled for either of them really, he'd even like to see Crowpaw despite knowing his brother hated him. Heronpaw would be a friendly face or so he hoped, it wasn't really common knowledge how she felt about him and when he left, would she treated him just as Crowpaw treated him? A feeling of dread covered him as he paced and waited, ears perked for sound and mouth open for any scent of the past.

I coulda gave up then but
Then again I couldn’t have ’cause
I’ve traveled all this way for something

@sparrow

[Fawn]

CROWBLAZE
18 Moons. Ex-RainClan. Tom.
Blood Makes You Related. Loyalty Makes You Family.
-----

    Crowblaze's decision to leave the Clan was not unfounded; justified in that the death of his mother and the overwhelming sickness that had plagued RainClan was enough to send the young tom leaving it behind forever, he had at least said goodbye to his siblings and to Timberwing.

Not that he felt as though he owed her much.

Somehow, despite having a mentor who couldn't even fish properly, Crowblaze had achieved the rank of warrior; it had been bittersweet. His parents had both stood proudly to see him receive his hard-earned distinction, but becoming a warrior did not make you well-liked automatically.

His aggressive, rebellious, and downright cutting personality over the earlier moons had left a soured impression upon the cats around him. Not that Crowblaze was all that certain he wanted to make friends with this miserable water-loving lot. Razorfang had had to cuff him around the ears a few times, for the arguments he started in the warriors den.

You'd think that the sweeping illness that ravaged his Clanmates would have made him want to buckle down and prove his mettle in the watchful eyes of those around him - but it had done the opposite. Vultureback's sullen grief and Falconleap's death had left Crowblaze reeling; even if he had hated the part of her that was StoneClan, he had still loved his mother.

Crowblaze stalked upon the border of RainClan and StoneClan territory; a fresh cut over his ear had finally started to scab properly, and he had grown lean and powerful in his self-imposed exile. Hoping to catch a glimpse of his sister, Heroncry, the familiar yet alien scent that filled his nostrils was not the one he'd expected.

As it always did, anger ripped through his veins, super-charging him, his claws unsheathing, posture lowering as he began to slink, searching for the cat he had once considered family and now very much labeled foe. There would be no point in attacking Hawkfall (oh yes, he'd heard of his brother's new name) now that he was no longer a RainClan warrior, his kin wasn't necessarily trespassing, though Crowblaze had half a mind to make him taste the strength of his claws anyway.

"Looking for someone?" Crowblaze drawled coldly, his eyes hard as stone as he stepped into the stream to face Hawkfall.

[Hellion]

Hawkfall

---

He had been distracted by the area, a few moons ago he was there fighting with a border patrol and was forced to leave the she-cat he cared with injuries even after she called out to him. It was a brutal fight but he couldn't allow himself to give into his feelings and help her out, he made his choice it was StoneClan. While he had fully intended to wait around for his sister or perhaps other members of his family to come toward the border he'd be just as happy to see Minkpaw, maybe talk things out.

Hawkfall's paws kneaded the stones he sat on his tail licked back and forth. He was thinking of coming back later maybe go for a hunt and come closer to the time of the daily patrols but by himself it wasn't going to look good and he didn't want to risk getting into another fight.

Rising up to his paws he looked around and tried to find a better place to wait, one where he'd be noticed from a distance. On his paws he walked back and forth and started up again pacing just as a very distinct voice caught his attention. Turning his head quickly he nearly breaking his neck in he process. The voice had changed it wasn't soft like a kitten and the scent that follow was void of any sweet smell of milk moss but it was clear as day who the cat was that called out to him.

Crowpaw! Hawkfall said softly his ears were pulled back in a sign of surprise. He didn't expect to see his brother let alone see him still so angry. "But I guess you'd be a warrior as well." He added shortly after. He wanted to step closer to his kin and greet him happily but he knew better, Crowpaw had harboured a kind of hatred for him ever since he left RainClan for StoneClan and Hawkfall wasn't sure he'd ever want to see him again.

---

I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay

Word Count:: ---
Tag::@insertname
Notes:: ---

[Fawn]

CROWBLAZE
18 Moons. Ex-RainClan. Tom.
Blood Makes You Related. Loyalty Makes You Family.
-----

    Yes, he was a warrior now. At least, he had been. Warriorhood was something that extended beyond a Clan's borders; just because he had chosen to leave RainClan did not mean he was somehow stripped of his title. He had earned it with hard work and no small amount of skill on his own. He would not let go of it for anything.

"Crowblaze." He announced, his tone clear. He was proud of that name. It gave him the impression of fire and strength, of sharp talons and glory in combat. Not that he had achieved the latter, quite yet; Crowblaze was well aware that whatever battle he got into, he could not rely on anyone for help.

Not RainClan. And not Hawkfall.

The aggressive dark tabby looked over his brother with scrutiny, aware that he was no longer the light tabby tom he'd felt such ire for these past few moons; he was looking like a stranger, a brother that never was. He didn't smell the same anymore. He carried the scent of sparse rock and birds, of low, dense vegetation and peculiar other smells Crowblaze assumed to be his Clanmates.

Is he happy there? In that ragtag Clan of misfits? Oh yes, Crowblaze had heard of StoneClan's origins. It was the young tom's Achilles heel, believing too heavily in lore of the past rather than judging others by their actions in the present. He was so hung up on blood ties and what it means to be Clan born, that he shunned the part of him that was StoneClan, and he had felt so out of place in RainClan that leaving had seemed like the only option.

"Did they accept you? When you first showed up." Crowblaze's lips pulled back, curious about Hawkfall's first few days as a deserter - though he strongly suspected StoneClan to have welcomed him right in with tails up and paws open. Truth be told, a part of him wanted Hawkfall to have had a hard time there; it wasn't right for a Hawkfall to just abandon his family and not suffer any consequences for it.
-----
Tags: Hellion
Word Count: 356 Words

[Hellion]

Hawkfall

---

"Crowblaze"He mimicked the sound of his brother's name and realized how strong it felt it had him reflecting on his own name for a moment but pushed the doubt out of his head. Hawkstar had given him his name because of his ferocity in battle and how he fought against his enemies. Crowblaze was most likely given his name for his fiery temper which no doubt Hawkfall admired in his brother, he had always been the fierce one.

Their interaction was tense and lacked any comfort of kit-hood and he wished that Heronpaw,with her new warrior name, would have been the one to greet him but StarClan has it's own destiny. Flicking his tail with nervous energy he caught his brothers questions just barely and felt his eyes drop to the ground, his ears showing discomfort on being reminded of his early days and most of his apprentice training but he felt that Crowblaze should know. His brother needed to realize why he let and that it wasn't easy and so many times during his fire few moons did he want to run back home but knew he'd be a coward in both clans. Hawkfall knew it was important Crowblaze understand just how scared and alone he felt and slowly he moved his eyes back up to meet Crowblaze and opened his maw to respond.

"No. Hawkstar was nice to me but only because of mother. I was allowed to become an apprentice in a moon so I had to wait. I stayed in their nursery one of mother's old friends looked out for me for a little while but she couldn't be everywhere. I was picked on by a few cats older than me. Warriors that knew mother called me half clan scum. I was lucky to be trained by Hawkstar but my training almost didn't happen because we were ran out of StoneClan not too long after. I spent a lot of my time alone, I had to be a stronger apprentice to fend myself against my denmates. It was never easy but now that I am a warrior of StoneClan I have gained some respect, they see mother in me and I hope to be a great warriror" He gave his answer and relaxed a little, voicing his troubles even to his unwilling brother made him feel better, but he knew at a moments notice Crowblaze could shift into a rage and call him a coward but that word had no meaning to him any more, it had stung his pelt too many times already to have any affect now.

Hawkfall was careful to leave Minkpaw out of it, Crowblaze didn't need to know how he almost repeated their parent's history. "I had heard that mother was expecting more kits. How are they?" He asked softly, hoping that Crowblaze would he a heart enough to share common family happiness.

---

I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay

Word Count:: ---
Tag::@insertname
Notes:: ---

[Fawn]

CROWBLAZE
18 Moons. Ex-RainClan. Tom.
Blood Makes You Related. Loyalty Makes You Family.
-----

    Did it bring him any satisfaction, any bitter sensation of 'told you so' upon hearing of Hawkfall's struggles? It was difficult to say, with the tom's dark orange eyes being the only thing that moved by the end of the StoneClan tom's recollections, Crowblaze's eyes narrowing. For an instance, Crowblaze had felt sorry for Hawkfall, and protective of the sibling he'd once considered very dear to him; what right did they have to pick on his own kin?

But this sudden urge to defend was shattered the moment Hawkfall mentioned their mother.

His claws unsheathed, but he responded in a cool tone that bordered on flat. "Gullpaw and Bitternpaw." Crowblaze had last laid eyes on them a moon prior, when he'd still been considered part of RainClan - when mother had still been alive. "Don't you hate this?" He asked, dark tabby fur bristling with agitation. "Having to catch snippets of information about your own family? Falconleap is dead! And you would've known that if you hadn't left in the first place."

Coward was not a strong enough word for what Hawkfall was to him. Only the worst kind of cat would turn his back on his own kin like that, would choose a different Clan over his siblings and his parents and his Clanmates. What did Hawkfall know of loyalty? It was hard to imagine Crowblaze could take such a harsh stance when he himself had recently defected from RainClan; that had nothing to do with loyalties lost.

That had everything to do with grief.

Crowblaze had decided that he did not want to be in a Clan where two family members has been lost to him already, not to mention he was in no mood to deal with the animosity he was certain his Clan felt for him, as a half-Clan cat. It was funny, really. He had loathed the part of his mother that was StoneClan, he had hated not being a pure-Clan cat, and worst of all, of being from a Clan that had been weak enough to get chased out in the first place.

And yet it was her death that had triggered his defection from the Clan he had once called home.

Maybe if he hadn't been so aggressive, so quick to judge those who were surely judging him, things would have been different?

No use crying over lost prey. What was done was done; RainClan would likely never accept him back, and he could watch over Gullpaw and Bitternpaw from a distance that didn't involve being in a camp overcome by sickness. He would not die as his mother had, weak and coughing.

-----
Hellion
445 Words

[Hellion]

Hawkfall

---

A warm smile covered his face as he heard the names of his new siblings. Gullpaw and Bittenpaw, it made him laugh a little to realize his mother had kept up with naming her kits after birds. Hearing that they had made it to apprentice hood had him proud but also worried. They would be training and soon they would be warriors, it wouldn't be long until they too were on patrols and perhaps caught in the claws of his clan-mates and that made him a little uneasy.

The anger that followed with the next three words has Hawkfall's ears pinned back. It wasn't ideal to learn about his family in such a way but it was better then not hearing about them at all. He made his choice a long time ago and he couldn't chane his mind because if he did it would ruin him, he'd be better off a loner then switching back again. Unsure of how to calm his brother back down Hawkfall kept himself silent and waited for the anger to pass but what he said next caught him off guard and shattered his entire world.

"Having to catch snippets of information about your own family? Falconleap is dead! And you would've known that if you hadn't left in the first place."

Hawkfall's heart stopped and the tall tom-cat lowered himself to the ground and shock, he felt sick almost like he couldn't breathe and there wasn't anything to do about it. For a second he closed his eyes and drowned in the grief that was his mother's death. It was almost like a bad dream, one he couldn't wake himself up from. He wanted to accuse Crowblaze of lying, scream at him for playing a dirty trick to make him feel guilty but the pain that was hidden by fierce anger proved other wise.

"Is dad okay? Or do I have to mourn two parents?" He said softly his voice a little above a whisper, still remaining close to the ground not trusting his limbs to allow him to stand up. "Was she in pain? Did she dies from an injury? Did she suffer?" He rambled for a moment trying to wrap his head around his mother's death, the she-cat he could barely remember.

---

I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay

Word Count:: ---
Tag::@insertname
Notes:: ---

[Fawn]

CROWBLAZE
18 Moons. Ex-RainClan. Tom.
Blood Makes You Related. Loyalty Makes You Family.
-----

    Crowblaze, for an instance, lorded this precious knowledge over his brother's head, feeling a little bit of a vindictive satisfaction over Hawkfall having to find out this way. It felt like an appropriate punishment. Fierce orange eyes locked onto the shocked expression and pleading voice of the sibling who'd walked away from him and their family; Falconleap would never have wanted them to fight like this. Aware that if StarClan truly existed, then she would be amongst the celestial spirits looking down on them right now - and that knowledge comforted him little, but encouraged Crowblaze to no longer keep the circumstances of their mother's death all to himself.

"It was the sickness. And of course she suffered," his voice lowered, not overcome by anger, but by a supreme sadness over that fact. "They all suffered." In the wake of the greencough outbreak, not a single sufferer had gone quietly into the night like the sun sinking below the horizon; there had been coughing and wheezing, watering eyes, pains in their chests, and they were unable to catch their breaths.

It was the horror of the sickness, the climax of someone's idea of a dark tragic play that had sent Crowblaze running from the only place he'd ever called home.

After a while, Crowblaze spoke up a second time, though his words were quiet and without feeling. "Vultureback still lives. And Heronstrike."

[Hellion]

Hawkfall

---

He wasn't aware just how empty he could feel but in this moment with this knowledge he felt as if his entire world was gone, shattered with awful words. Crowblaze was angry with him and for what happened before their mother got sick but he too shared Hawkfall's grief but the brown tabby would never feel comfort in his brother's presence ever again. "At least she is in StarClan now..." He mumbled his voice weak and not easily able to form his words. His ears flicked hearing that Vultureback was still alive and so was his now warrior sister.

Hawkfall's pale green eyes kept at the ground and studying the mixture of dirt and rocks before returning his eyes to look at Crowblaze. "I am sorry that I left you brother and I now that no matter how much I beg for you forgiveness you will never give it to me." Hawkfall's voice had been drained of emotion from the heart breaking news. "Will you watch over Gullpaw and Bitternpaw?" He asked kneading the ground with his paws, he didn't know how to form the words to ask his brother to not hate him but even if he did could Crowblaze forgive him?

---

I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay

Word Count:: ---
Tag::@insertname
Notes:: ---

[Fawn]

CROWBLAZE
18 Moons. Ex-RainClan. Tom.
Blood Makes You Related. Loyalty Makes You Family.
-----

    ”Yes.” Since you won't be able to. Crowblaze did not need to be a part of RainClan in order to keep an eye on his youngest siblings, and he also trusted their father to not let anything bad happen to the few surviving members of their broken, battered down family. Crowblaze wasn't sure how much faith he could give to StarClan, but perhaps if he'd stopped to consider it, all of this would seem almost like a punishment. Maybe because Falconleap betrayed her own Clan to live with Vultureback?

It was unsettling, to think that he, Hawkfall and Heronstrike had come about under potentially traitorous circumstances, and his Half-Clan heritage would be an ever present thorn in the dark tabby's side until the day something finally killed him. Regarding the paler tabby with hollow eyes, he was at a loss for what to say to him. Goodbye seemed a little too common, with Hawkfall. It was always going to be a 'goodbye' between the two of them, wasn't it? Maybe he should've felt more apologetic over the enormous rift between the two of them, but this sickness, this wave of death had taken the last few ounces of warmth and compassion he'd thought himself possessing.

Hawkfall was a stranger, now. Hawkfall of StoneClan. He was Crowblaze, born of RainClan but belonging to none. Maybe someday he would return but for now...

Solitude suited him just fine.

"Later."
With a backward wave of his tail, the dark tom turned away, following wherever the wind felt like blowing, the spring breeze kissing the ends of his pelt. With more time, perhaps, he'd be able to look at Hawkfall as something more akin to a brother, rather than an enemy.

With time.