[Fawn]

ÐARKCLOUD

63 Moons || Tom || Senior Warrior
LightningClan

Though the mornings had gotten considerably cooler with the season change, the expanse of flat dark rocks that separated StoneClan from LightningClan were still able to retain heat, and made for a nice place to simply relax and enjoy the day. Due to a majority of the Clan busily preparing for leafbare, Darkcloud was confident that no one would find time out of their busy schedules for a visit out to the Sun Stones – and thus, he and his daughter would not have their family bonding time disrupted. Besides, if any-cat did show up, he wasn't at all above monopolizing the whole of Sun Stones with a few careful words and an unquestionable stare.

Anyone could see that something had been bothering one of his youngest daughters as of late; pale green eyes watched as the pretty ginger and white she-cat – the spitting image of her mother and older brother Flameshadow – stepped onto the warm rocks ahead of him, Darkcloud's thoughts centered around her, though his expression was as enigmatic as his name implied.

Having gone on patrol and hunted for the Clan earlier, it was with no guilt or feeling of neglect at all that Darkcloud was able to pull her away for a private conversation and the chance to reconnect, the handsome black and white tom being the type of father who gave his kids a reasonable berth, but was always within arm's reach if they needed him – whether they knew they needed him or not. A rare smile arranging his features in a cool kind of pleasantness, the senior warrior licked the top of her ears, intending for her to broach the topic of her discomfort on her own time, instead opening with a simple but friendly conversation piece.

”Your mother and Dovesong may need you to stand guard at the nursery tonight, though Flameshadow has spoken up about it before.” They would sort things out later in the day; after Gustkit's little expedition outside of camp, Dovesong and Firebird had thought it wise to have a family guard keep an eye open at all times in the event that they sneak out again.

OOC: BlooRey DVD

[BlooRey DVD]

[smear:f78216]Kindleflare[/smear:f3e4d7]

~~~~~~~~~

When the ginger and white she-cat had been sought out by her black and white coated father, it had brought a wash of joy through her. She hadn't really spent much time with her father since she had been named an apprentice, as he preferred to give his kits room to flourish on their own. She knew that, had she ever needed him, however, he would have been right there for her the whole time. She loved her father from the bottom of her heart, and, though she found it a little terrible to openly admit it, would have to say that he was her favorite family member.

This wasn't to say that she didn't love her whole family. She was just... Well she was just a Daddy's Girl through and through. When he had asked her to accompany him, she'd nearly jumped up in excitement at the chance, and had readily agreed. It wasn't until after she had said yes that she had spotted something in his gaze. Something that told her he knew. What it was he knew, she had no idea, but that was the impression she got from his eyes in that moment.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind. What if he knows about... About my dreams? The thought scared the she-cat to StarClan and back. How could he know! She had never told anyone about her recent dreams! It was upon making this observation that she realized he wouldn't be able to know that. Perhaps... Perhaps he had simply noticed a change in her behaviour. Had she really been acting so differently in the recent days? Or was it simply a father's instinct, did he simply just know that there was something bothering her deep down within the confines of her heart and her mind?

She was hesitant as she stepped up onto the warm surface of the Sun Stones. She could feel the warm sun playing upon her coat, and she tipped her head up to meet the warm rays of the sun. For a moment, she forgot about everything that had been troubling her, and relished in the heat provided to her. Until it brought forth the flash of a dream. With a near-silent, sharp gasp, her warm amber eyes snapped open and she nearly tripped while motionless. Recovering her balance and masking it by continuing her motion to pretend to scratch at her fore leg with her nose, Kindleflare peeked hesitantly up at her father.

When she heard his deep voice, she straightened, her golden ears twirling to face him, intent on catching every word he uttered. Giving him a slight nod, fully understanding what he was talking about, the she-cat thought back to the kits in question, recalling a certain incident they had caused. There had been quite some noise that day, that was for sure. A faint smile whisked over her maw as she thought of Dovesong's kits. "Of course, Daddy. Just... Just let me know if Flameshadow takes g-guard tonight or not." Her voice was almost uncharacteristically steady, something that often happened to her when faced with her father. He seemed to almost erase her nervous stammering, simply with his presence.

Offering a timid smile, the flame-colored she-cat found her gaze drifting down to her white paws. She hadn't been aware of it, but it seemed that she had subconsciously been drawing lines on the stone, claws scrapping quietly as though she were nervous about something. When she finally took note of it, her warm amber eyes widened fractionally and she stopped the motion, planting her paws firmly on the ground.

Desperately searching for something to say, the ginger and white she-cat blurted out the first thought that came to mind. "G-Good n-new ab-b-bout P-Palescreech and N-Nights-step, huh?" Wincing slightly at the stammers that had suddenly taken hold, Kindleflare drew herself together, seeming to shrink slightly as her head lowered in embarrassment.

Why am I so stupid..?

[Fawn]

ÐARKCLOUD

63 Moons || Tom || Senior Warrior
LightningClan

She couldn't have made it any more obvious that something was on her mind; stuttering was usually an infrequent thing when in the presence of Darkcloud, and to see her stammer over her words so much right now was a tell even cats outside of their immediate family would be able to recognize.
"Yes it is," he mewed coolly, tail sweeping around his body as he leaned over, extending his neck to lick the tip of her ear, as though to wash away the embarrassment the she-cat was currently shrouded in. "Though I'm still waiting on your brother to finally approach your mother and I officially."

It was a bit old fashioned, really, but Darkcloud was particularly partial to the idea of his son having the integrity to approach his parents and announce the happy news between himself and his young companion Palescreech. It felt like just the other day he'd watched his son become a warrior - and now he was already experiencing the thrill of being in love. Darkcloud's muzzle turned up at the corners in a faint smile. Funny that his youngest son would be the first of his offspring to find themselves a companion. Flameshadow was nearly a senior warrior, and yet all was quiet in terms of romance, for his first born.

Now as for Kindleflare...
Did she perhaps have a cat on her mind as of late?

Darkcloud's pale eyes were settled upon her with their usual warmth, but as always, there was a layer of sharp perception, the tom who knew his daughter well, who would always subconsciously view her as a kitten, could see her efforts to make conversation, as though the silence had somehow become uncomfortable or difficult to bear.

Now why was that?
What would cause that kind of behavior?

Guilt, perhaps.
Casually, the senior warrior mewed. "How have you been, Kindleflare? I hope all is well."
But if it's not, you know you can talk to me.

OOC: BlooRey DVD

[BlooRey DVD]

[smear:f78216]Kindleflare[/smear:f3e4d7]

~~~~~~~~~

There was a moment, a brief instant where Kindleflare considered holding her breath. If she held her breath, there was no air being drawn into her lungs. With no air inside her lungs, there was no air with which she might accidentally blurt out something that she would regret. But listening to her father's voice... It was as though, without actually telling her to tell him what was wrong, he was coaxing to the surface everything she was trying so desperately to hide. Her ear tip was still warm from the lick he'd given her only moments before, and it was suddenly impossible for her to continue like this.

She hadn't actually said anything to her father, so technically she wasn't lying to him... And yet not saying anything about felt like it was an even greater betrayal than whatever she might face should she let him know what was bothering her so much. Darkcloud had fallen into silence, his pale eyes watching her calmly. It was this look, the way he was looking at her right now... This made it impossible for her to keep anything from him. Feeling any resolve she might have crumbling beneath her father's caring yet powerful gaze, she lost control of her words and her actions.

Throwing herself against him to bury her face into his coat, the small framed, flame-pelted warrioress shivered softly, a soft hiccup leaving her. "Oh Daddy... I... I love Nightstep, I do.. He's my brother a-and n-nothing will ever ch-change that... I want t-to be happy f-for him... For him a-and Palescreech..." There was a hesitation after she spoke the pale warrioress' name, as though just saying that name burned her tongue. But Kindleflare didn't let it linger for long, she shook her head, which was still pressed against her father as her tail swept up along her side, staying close, as though she were using it to hug herself.

"B-But I can't... All I f-feel is... Is a burning feeling... A bad feeling..." She'd never actually experienced anything like jealousy in the past. Being so timid, she'd never let herself hold onto something so dearly that she might be hurt later on. But it seemed there were somethings that you couldn't control. And now her jealously burned like a fire in her belly. "I... I don't h-hate him... I c-could never hate Nightstep... But Daddy... I feel like I do... I'm such a t-terrible sister to him..."

[Fawn]

ÐARKCLOUD

63 Moons || Tom || Senior Warrior
LightningClan

        It was always a heart-wrenching thing, to watch your own kit under such emotional distress as to lean her face into your fur and tremble under the weight of it all. A thick black tail was laid over Kindleflare's back for comfort, Darkcloud's focus all on the words she stammered out in an uncontrollable stream; "B-But I can't... All I f-feel is... Is a burning feeling... A bad feeling..." Jealousy? Anger? Resentment, even, for the happiness that Nightstep had achieved for himself? "There is nothing wrong with the way you feel, Kindleflare." Unaware of just how much weight those words carried, as the tall senior warrior had not yet grasped the full meaning behind her jealousy, nevertheless his answer would have been the same. "What you're feeling is perfectly natural, it does not make you a horrible sister, or a terrible cat for even thinking it. Though it may not seem as if this is so, the jealousy will pass with time. What Nightstep has achieved, you are entirely capable of achieving for yourself. You will find someone worthy of your heart and your affection, and when that day comes, this moment will seem like a thing of the past."

Only after the birth of several litters with Firebird could have softened his heart enough to discuss the topic of romance; it was not as though the concept of it frightened or embarrassed the older warrior, it was more along the lines of the serious, calculating Darkcloud to not place too much weight or faith in it. Until he'd fallen in love with Firebird, that is. If not for her, Darkcloud was unable to imagine himself with another she-cat - the very notion was unfathomable. Eerily pale eyes looked over the shivering form of his youngest daughter, tail wrapping more snugly around the distressed she-cat, barely even a warrior, but never too old to be his kit. With her brother already starting the next phase of his life, Kindleflare might have felt left behind, or it might have frightened her - frightened her into thinking that if she didn't find someone soon, she'd be alone forever.

Normally, Darkcloud would have snorted. But this was no ordinary young warrior, and he would never laugh at her feelings or anything she came to talk to him about (unless it was something humorous, of course), and to one still in the early stages of youth, this must have felt like a legitimate concern. The entirety of Kindleflare's life was ahead of her - there would likely be more feelings of jealousy, more feelings of resentment and some feelings she couldn't even begin to label, but that was an inescapable aspect of life. She had a heart, and sometimes it would be damaged, might even feel broken or set afire, but all wounds could heal with time, and with each new protective layer or growth of maturity that followed, Kindleflare would only become stronger for it.

Darkcloud licked her ears, his words a low, calm, steady beat. "Don't expect to feel happy for him overnight, Kindleflare. Strong feelings take time to go away, but it's also important to not let them fester or sit inside of you for too long."

[BlooRey DVD]

[smear:f78216]Kindleflare[/smear:f3e4d7]

~~~~~~~~~

Even as his words reached her ears, she didn't quite feel reassured. There was a nagging feeling, deep in the pit of her stomach, that told her Darkcloud didn't fully understand what was truly plaguing her young soul. It was so hard to keep on fighting the way she was... She would have done anything to be a kit again, curled up against the warm belly of Firebird, young eyes gazing up in wonder at the seemingly unbeatable form of Darkcloud, of her father. Back then, it wasn't pathetic of her to hide against him the way she was doing now.

Even with that thought, she couldn't quite bring herself to pull away. She spent several moments with her face buried against his warm fur, praying that some of his strength, some of his power would seep into her from their proximity. His tail, heavy against her shoulders, felt as though it were the only thing keeping her from falling to pieces. But shame was a powerful thing, and she couldn't bring herself to hide forever in the security that her father provided. She didn't deserve the caring security he offered, not the was she was feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Slowly, she pulled away from him, shifting ever so slightly so that his tail fell away from her shoulders. Her mouth opened as though she were going to speak, but no words came out. Her face contorted as though she were in pain, her jaws snapping shut as she took a step back. As if running would solve this problem. That's all she ever wanted to do, run from her problems. Ears lay flattened against her skull, her gaze locked on her paws. Everything about her screamed how ashamed she felt, from the set of her shoulders to the way her tail was tucked between her legs.

"D-Daddy, I... I-It... It's m-more than.... Than feeling j-jealous bec-cause he's happy... I-It's not th-that I w-want what he h-has... I w-want w...who..." She choked on the words just then, feeling as though her heart constricted so violently that she would collapse then and there. Her words were nothing more than a whisper of defeat, her lithe form shaking. It was partly fear of what she felt, partly pent-up anger she'd tried so hard to crush before. "I w-want who h-he has, I want her... I w-wish P-Palescreech... W-Was mine..." What's wrong with me?

Fawn

[Fawn]

Darkcloud

72 Moons. Senior Warrior. Tom. LightningClan.

---

"I w-want who h-he has, I want her... I w-wish P-Palescreech... W-Was mine..."

If Kindleflare had expected her father to leap back in shock, his eyes widened by this impossible news - no such thing happened. It was no stretch at all, for the senior warrior to imagine that cats of the same gender could develop feelings for one another; was that so unusual, when their ancestors could grant nine lives, and healers had visions of the future? Compared to all of that, Kindleflare's affections for Palescreech seemed underwhelming. Darkcloud, having gained a better sense of what she was going through, pulled her back against him by wrapping a dark, slender tail around her body and drawing her in, encouraging her not to put distance between them again. They were family. She was his daughter, and he, her father. There would never be a good reason for her to back away from him, because he would never shun or ridicule her for the way she felt about others.

"Listen closely to me, Kindleflare." The eerie tom's voice was calm, reverberating into her ears from his dark and white chest, intending to soothe the angry hornet's nest of emotions that must have been stirring inside of her for moons now. "Your feelings for Palescreech are not wrong. There are some cats who may think you strange or unusual for liking a cat your own gender, but you'll find, in this Clan especially, that there are many more who will respect and accept you because of this." An image of a snowy white medicine cat going on a walk with a rather feminine looking golden tom entered Darkcloud's mind; he was, of course, thinking of Snowheart. Whether it had been the medicine cat's intentions or not, Darkcloud had seen the two of them spending time together in a way that spoke of more than just friendly camaraderie amongst Clanmates. Darkcloud had kept his secret. It hadn't been Darkcloud's to tell.

He would become that same secret keeper for Kindleflare, be a voice of counsel and reason whenever she needed to vent; he would not allow her to carry the weight of those feelings alone, Darkcloud would lessen her burdens in any way that he could - that was his duty as a father. "However," Darkcloud mewed after a time, "this doesn't mean you should tell Palescreech how you feel. It's going to be hard, and it's going to hurt - I suspect it already does - but it's important to acknowledge these feelings, but also respect the fact that Nightstep and Palescreech are in love. I don't expect you to wish your brother and Palescreech happiness overnight, I don't expect you to stifle everything down and pretend as if everything's alright. It's going to take some time, but its the healthiest course of action for you, Kindleflare."

It was incredibly hard, he imagined, getting over feelings of love when they weren't returned. The sting, the resentment must've been unbearable at times, particularly for Kindleflare who felt so much - who felt things so strongly compared to her other two siblings. "You will get through this," he reassured for the third time, giving her ears another fond lick. "You are much stronger than you think you are."

[BlooRey DVD]

[smear:f78216]Kindleflare[/smear:f3e4d7]

~~~~~~~~~

She'd expected the worst. She really had. But when that voice of his met her ears, it was like everything that could possibly be wrong in the world... Just disappeared. It was as though gravity shifted, and all the weight she'd been feeling just lifted off of her shoulders, like she might just float off of the ground if someone didn't hold her down. To be told that what you were feeling was not wrong even though it had felt that way for so long... She was just about ready to burst into tears of joy against her father's shoulder.

His tail was around her once more, and she was pulled against him contently. Deep amber eyes closed as she leaned against him, letting herself just... Disappear in the softness of his pelt, in the power behind his very being. For a moment, everything was perfect for her. She continued to listen to his soothing voice, even though her eyes stayed closed. Leaning against him, she allowed all of his words to sink into her brain. At the mention of it not being a good idea for her to tell Palescreech how she felt, she lifted her head slightly, smiling almost... Sadly.

"I-I... Could never d-do that... Nightstep makes her s-so.. Happy. If you r-really care about someone... That's all you want... F-For them to be happy, regardless of h-how it makes you feel..." She smiled sheepishly at her dad, as though what she had just said embarrassed her. "O-Or that's w-what I t-think anyway..." She fell silent for a moment, leaning back into him. "It... It d-does hurt... But n-not as much as it did before... A-And I believe you when you s-say that it will get better with time..." She purred softly as she nuzzled against him.

"Th-Thank you, Daddy.... I l-love you..."